In an emotional interview with Samuel Olatunji of iCampus, motivational speaker, author, CEO of Visible Impact (Management consulting firm) and husband of make-up entrepreneur Tara Durotoye, Fela Durotoye opens up for the first time about how his professor father left his mum for a nursing student and died just as he was about to leave his mistress and reconcile with his wife. The woman later confessed (after running mad) that she killed his father. Read what Fela said below...


My father died because of an extra-marital affair. He had a great marriage but at one point in time he cut it off and left his home, few years later he died. He even died some days to when he was supposed to return home to my mother. He died a mysterious death because the lady said, if I will not have you, nobody will. Few years later, the woman ran insane and was saying all over that she killed my father. So now that I've seen what a strange woman can do to a man, it makes sense to stay in one place so I don't put so many life at stake.


He died in 1982, I was 11 years old. It was so devastating because he went beyond just being my father, he was my best friend. He left home in 1977. I must have been six years old. He was gone for five years. It was at the point where he was trying to get back to his wife that he died in 1982. I never knew what it was like to be a child because my father never treated me like one. I was also his best friend, he used to relate with me like an adult . Even when he left my mum at Ife and was at Ibadan, I used to go to Ibadan every weekend. My relationship with him blossomed till he died. He would send his driver to come and pick me up every weekend. I had to learn how to deal with seeing him and the other woman if I wanted to enjoy my dad. But I was always the centre of attraction every weekend I was with him. The woman was not a major thing I will deal with because my father would give us total attention. Before the separation, my father was a professor in physiology while my mother was a lecturer in Geology.

After he left the University of Ife, he went to set up consultancy firm in medical equipment and so on. My mum remained a professor at Ife. My mum was one of those amazing human beings that you can ever imagine. I cannot tell you how she did it but you can be such that it was God that helped her. And the most difficult part was that watching a man you of loved die in your hands. By the time my father was dying, my mum was right there. He died with his heads in her hands. I do not know how anybody would have done that. Many times my mum said maybe she should not have let him go. She always says that if she knew that the end of the matter would have been that way, she would have followed him with the other woman, she would never let him go. I do not think that my father followed the other woman willingly, it was programmed. It wasn't natural. I don't think that he was in his total senses. His siblings were so upset with him, they had to leave him. We should not have allowed him to go into the hands of the devourer.

He used to tell me, don't worry it is all going to be alright. Meaning that we are all coming back as family. I could see that he always wanted to go back home. His death was one of the most difficult things I had to overcome.

My mum had traveled on sabbatical to Belgium and at one point my father was passing through Belgium. And they had a very short meeting and who knew maybe the signal of the remote control did not get to Belgium. I think somehow the love was rekindled and there was a gentleman, Rev. Faniku who was also in Belgium at that time. He took it upon himself and work on it for almost a year and my dad was almost back to his senses. My mum is incredible brilliant and beautiful. There was no basis for comparison with the other woman who was a nursing student.

Then he fell ill with diabetes but there was no record of diabetes in our lineage. He feels sick on Wednesday and died on Sunday morning. He just finished a meeting with my mother and he told the other lady that my mum was coming back home that she has to leave. She told him if she will not have him than nobody will (kaka kekumajesese, afisawadanu). By evening he had come down with a flu. By Monday he was already really sick, by Tuesday he was in the hospital and my Wednesday he was dead.

I have never talked about my dad like this before, I don't know why I am doing it with you. You must be very special. I learnt that no matter how gifted you are, your destiny can be truncated by a woman. I saw the joy of a successful marriage and I saw the pain of an unsuccessful one. I choose i will go for the joy of a successful marriage. Before my wife and i got married we went to pray and tell God that none of the things that happened in our parent's marriage would happen in ours. We have tried so far.
Before the separation, they won the couple of the year award twice on campus. My father was an incredible brilliant man. He was the youngest professor in Nigeria as at when he became a professor in 1976. He was 35 or 36. My mum was beauty and brain. They were the happiest couple you can never imagine together.

A mistake of falling for a nursing student who was not even in his department caused all sort of troubles

Hope the son has learnt from his dad too!

Lessons for all!

asodeboyede: Hope the son has learnt from his dad too!

Lessons for all!

If I cant have you then nobody will. Womwn and jealousy since time immemorial.

sandijey:
My father died because of an extra-marital affair. He had a great marriage but at one point in time he cut it off and left his home, few years later he died. He even died some days to when he was supposed to return home to my mother.

A mistake of falling for a nursing student who was not even in his department caused all sort of troubles

His down fall was not falling for a nurse student, his downfall was his own greed and selfishness.

Firstly he breaks his "great marriage" on his own terms and runs right into the arms of his death. Guess he learnt that the grass is not always greener on the other side in the most cruel way.

I hope men who always like to come up with this 'Men are polygamous in nature' Anthem are reading this. You allow your pen1s to make decisions for you, you experience downfall in the end. who is to be blamed for that? No one but yourself and your pen1s. All those strange ladies men carry up and down, do they know where those ladies are from? do they know the minds and intentions of these ladies? Only foolish men who reason with their pen1ses will fall like the Op's father.

Mondisweets:
His down fall was not falling for a nurse student, his downfall was his own greed and selfishness.

Firstly he breaks his "great marriage" on his own terms and runs right into the arms of his death. Guess he learnt that the grass is not always greener on the other side in the most cruel way.

Going by what his son wrote, don't you believe that the man was not in his right senses. Don't you know that some women are very diabolic, and would go to any extent to "chain" any man they target.

A lot can be learnt from this man's life's story.

MARKone:

Going by what his son wrote, don't you believe that the man was not in his right senses. Don't you know that some women are very diabolic, and would go to any extent to "chain" any man they target.

A lot can be learnt from this man's life's story.

He wasn't in his right senses only after he had followed the lady.

MARKone:

Going by what his son wrote, don't you believe that the man was not in his right senses. Don't you know that some women are very diabolic, and would go to any extent to "chain" any man they target.

A lot can be learnt from this man's life's story.

from what i read, he left his marriage for another woman, then decided to go move his wife back in and have the other woman move out. To me it doesn't sound like someone who was held against his will if he could freely decide
to play ping pong between the 2 of them just saying


I agree a lot can be learnt from his life. No one has ever died of being loyal and committed to one woman.

pathetic tragedy story.

thorpido: He wasn't in his right senses only after he had followed the lady.

My brother this looks like a script from all these Nollywood movies. It happens in real life.

I am not holding brief for the man, but It could have been a very innocent gesture that lead to all these problem, it may not have started with a lustful desire.

Bottom line is for couples to be prayerful, very prayerful.

MARKone:

My brother this looks like a script from all these Nollywood movies. It happens in real life.

I am not holding brief for the man, but It could have been a very innocent gesture that lead to all these problem, it may not have started with a lustful desire.

Bottom line is for couples to be prayerful, very prayerful.

Yes one has to be prayerful not to fall.Some ladies out there are diabolical.
However,I don't think a nursing student will just jam a professor like that except he gave the hint.

It is true that the level of achievement and success a man will attain in life is determined by the type of wife in his life.

I really dont know why some women created by God turn out to be very wicked.

Mondisweets: from what i read, he left his marriage for another woman, then decided to go move his wife back in and have the other woman move out. To me it doesn't sound like someone who was held against his will if he could freely decide
to play ping pong between the 2 of them just saying


I agree a lot can be learnt from his life. No one has ever died of being loyal and committed to one woman[b][/b].

True, but when such loyalty is reciprocated.

Like I said, the man might have started with an unbiased mindset, but the student nurse decided to take it to a spiritual level, there by "mumufying" the man to abandon his family(against his will).

Maybe due to prayers, the man "eye clear" and naturally, he desired his family back and Nwa nurse out, which unfortunately cost him his life.

The whole thing is wrapped in a spiritual cocoon, so they man no use im eye.

MARKone:

True, but when such loyalty is reciprocated.

Like I said, the man might have started with an unbiased mindset, but the student nurse decided to take it to a spiritual level, there by "mumufying" the man to abandon his family(against his will).

Maybe due to prayers, the man "eye clear" and naturally, he desired his family back and Nwa nurse out, which unfortunately cost him his life.

The whole thing is wrapped in a spiritual cocoon, so they man no use im eye.

we all know if the woman is not to blame, we take it to a spiritual level, no men ever wants to take responsibility for his own actions

Mondisweets:
His down fall was not falling for a nurse student, his downfall was his own greed and selfishness.

Firstly he breaks his "great marriage" on his own terms and runs right into the arms of his death. Guess he learnt that the grass is not always greener on the other side in the most cruel way.

Lol...I thought you were a law student or something?

So your professional assessment of this story is that the man is at fault for his own death, and the bitter enraged psychopath of a woman should not be blamed for using diabolical means to get revenge...huh?

Would you be this lenient on a man who takes revenge on a woman who suddenly wants to go back to her husband/boyfriend?

crackhaus:
Lol...I thought you were a law student or something?

So your professional assessment of this story is that the man is at fault for his own death, and the bitter enraged psychopath of a woman should not be blamed for using diabolical means to get revenge...huh?

Would you be this lenient on a man who takes revenge on a woman who suddenly wants to go back to her husband/boyfriend?

listen if you like blame it on olukun or the devil himself at the end of the day, his decisions led him to his grave. Thats the truth of the story. And what has my profession have to do with this, are you really going to be this shallow-minded? Go back to the politics section and make your usual senseless rants there. I don't have time for you. If a woman puts herself in the same postion she too will be to blame for the choices she makes. You leave someone loyal to you for someone who wants to take life out of you, you have no one else to blame but yourself. You reap what you sow.

Sophyrocks: I hope men who always like to come up with this 'Men are polygamous in nature' Anthem are reading this. You allow your pen1s to make decisions for you, you experience downfall in the end. who is to be blamed for that? No one but yourself and your pen1s. All those strange ladies men carry up and down, do they know where those ladies are from? do they know the minds and intentions of these ladies? Only foolish men who reason with their pen1ses will fall like the Op's father.

Your own doesn't even surprise me anymore, can you ever make a comment without sounding like a boy stole your toys when you were a kid?
Always with the insults and aggressiveness..

The lady who was fully aware that the man was married but went on to put an end to his marriage instead of standing up for a woman like herself by advising him to go back to his wife and kid(s)...is she any different or better than him?

crackhaus:
Your own doesn't even surprise me anymore, can you ever make a comment without sounding like a boy stole your toys when you were a kid?
Always with the insults and aggressiveness..

The lady who was fully aware that the man was married but went on to put an end his marriage instead of standing up for a woman like herself by advising him to go back to his wife and kid(s)...is she any different or better than him?

yours is even the worst( no insult BT the way you reason sometimes leave me dazed.

For instance if your wife was caught in a mess like these, you would blame the young man for not respecting the boy code( what silliness)

This man made his decision and should be responsible for it.

A lesson for all.

crackhaus:
Your own doesn't even surprise me anymore, can you ever make a comment without sounding like a boy stole your toys when you were a kid?
Always with the insults and aggressiveness..

The lady who was fully aware that the man was married but went on to put an end his marriage instead of standing up for a woman like herself by advising him to go back to his wife and kid(s)...is she any different or better than him?

The man made the first move. Men generally chase women. How did a lady come into his life if he didnt do the chasing? why must you chase when you know you are married?

As for my aggressive tone, it really should not concern you by now, should it? Look at the pathetic story!! isnt it worth being aggressive over? The man was really stup1d. Allowing a strange woman to pose a threat to his marriage. When will men ever learn? Now he has died like guinea fowl crushed by a moving trailer.

Mondisweets: listen if you like blame it on olukun or the devil himself at the end of the day, his decisions led him to his grave. Thats the truth of the story. And what has my profession have to do with this, are you really going to be this shallow-minded? Go back to the politics section and make your usual senseless rants there. I don't have time for you. If a woman puts herself in the same postion she too will be to blame for the choices she makes. You leave someone loyal to you for someone who wants to take life out of you, you have no one else to blame but yourself. You reap what you sow.

Emotional outbursts! Cliche.

My post was quite civil enough but still, like the female you are when caught in a web of hypocrisy and deceit, you choose to form a defensive posture and attack like someone who can't make a decent intelligible argument.

What politics section are you even on about? Where have you seen me on there before making 'senseless' rants?
You really are in a sour & confused mood, sorry for that.

You are the same person who brings up your profession to make points on NL, so I wonder why now that I bring it up for you, you choose to act righteous....aren't lawyers supposed to be logical?

The question again is:
Would you be this lenient on a man who takes revenge on a woman who suddenly wants to go back to her husband/boyfriend?

Maybe I should add that this man keeps stalking her, bugging her phones, messing with her car brakes and causing her to have a fatal accident...

Would the guilt still be on the woman?

zeb04: yours is even the worst( no insult BT the way you reason sometimes leave me dazed.

For instance if your wife was caught in a mess like these, you would blame the young man for not respecting the boy code( what silliness)

This man made his decision and should be responsible for it.

A lesson for all.

Can you believe this guy? His comment is even more pathetic than the story. How will a lady appear in your life as a man if she was not invited or appoached? The man literally chose death over life. I wonder if the wife would mourn him after all these.

zeb04: yours is even the worst( no insult BT the way you reason sometimes leave me dazed.

For instance if your wife was caught in a mess like these, you would blame the young man for not respecting the boy code( what silliness)

This man made his decision and should be responsible for it.

A lesson for all.

What is this? Sistaz before misters, or is it girl power? Nonsense!

How do you know how I reason, do you stalk me?
So you mean if my wife is caught in a mess like this, I should blame her and not be mourning her? Funny!

What boy code are you even on about now? Do you know anything about a 'boy code', how does it even relate to this?
Is the man my 'supposed wife' left me for my friend?

Come back when you have a stronger argument to make, let me go deal with the other two on here.

Nairaland and arguments. @topic, my dad is a polygamous family man and when my sis was about to get married(the first wedding in our home), he called all the girls into his room and told us that he would not give any of us out in marriage if the man was not ready to do the traditional and white wedding/registry. He told us that if he had a little restrain, he wouldnt have had as many wives as he does now and he wasnt ready for any of his daughters to pass through polygamy. I guess he was just trying to protect us from being victims of his own mistakes in his own little way.

Sophyrocks:

The man made the first move. Men generally chase women. How did a lady come into his life if he didnt do the chasing? why must you chase when you know you are married?

I can't believe this, so you mean some women have no sense of morality or shame whatsoever?
A married man chases you and you just can't refuse his advances and say a firm NO, especially knowing that he's a man married to a woman like yourself who would most probably be shedding tears and heart broken over it?
You're telling me all women are puppets and are at the mercy of married men who chase them?

Indeed now I understand why scoring married men is like winning the lottery to single and lazy azzed Nigerian girls...too bad for their reputation, and you people wonder why guys have little or no regard for you lots & talk you down at every opportunity..

Pathetic, so damn pathetic...

As for my aggressive tone, it really should not concern you by now, should it? Look at the pathetic story!! isnt it worth being aggressive over? The man was really stup1d. Allowing a strange woman to pose a threat to his marriage. When will men ever learn? Now he has died like guinea fowl crushed by a moving trailer.

Agreed, he has died...but somebody killed him albeit diabolically.
So should men now also kill any woman who cheated on their spouse to be with them and not be guilty of it because it's the woman's fault?

Y'all are quite amusing...

crackhaus:
I can't believe this, so you mean some women have no sense of morality or shame whatsoever?
A married man chases you and you just can't refuse his advances and say a firm NO, especially knowing that he's a man married to a woman like yourself who would most probably be shedding tears and heart broken over it?
You're telling me all women are puppets and are at the mercy of married men who chase them?

Indeed now I understand why scoring married men is like winning the lottery to single and lazy azzed Nigerian girls...too bad for their reputation, and you people wonder why guys have little or no regard for you lots & talk you down at every opportunity..

Pathetic, so damn pathetic...


Agreed, he has died...but somebody killed him albeit diabolically.
So should men now also kill any woman who cheated on their spouse to be with them and not be guilty of it because it's the woman's fault?

Y'all are quite amusing...

Why is a married man chasing a single lady? Why? why chase in the first place? that is my point. Granted, some ladies do not respect the sanctity of marriage as a result of greed. They want to milk out from a man as much as possible. They are only after the money most times. But why, as a married man with Vows to keep, would you chase a single lady? For what? The chasing is the creator of the problem. Why start it? can't you address that? You dnt chase hoping no lady follows you. you chase for a purpose. there is a motive behind chasing. You want ladies to stop following maried men? Let the men stop doing the chasing!!! Simple!! The ladies will be forced to work hard to feed their greed.

the man is fully to be blamed;

1) He is the married one. He has vows to keep, to be faithful to his wife. The single lady does not have any vow to keep.

2) Men of his type always defend cheating with the 'All men are polygamous in nature' anthem. as long as you believe this, cheating is easy for you and you are fully to be blamed in this scenerio.

3) since men believe they are polygamous in nature, Men will do the chasing. Once you initiate something, you are the creator of the problems associated with it.

Sophyrocks:

Can you believe this guy? His comment is even more pathetic than the story. How will a lady appear in your life as a man if she was not invited or appoached? The man literally chose death over life. I wonder if the wife would mourn him after all these.

Hahaha...

Keep saying that stuff, you are even making it worse for the women you stand up for... The man approached her, granted, he's the one disrespecting his marriage...so it's not in the power of any woman to say no and steer clear of him?
As in, you're trying to imply that conjuring the will to say no and move on is just too much of a load for the woman?

Was a gun put to her head?
You must be joking..

Your father died a fulfilled man.

he knew what he was getting into. An adult fully aware of his decision.

Continue mourning him or you can go about your life.
He has made his choice

crackhaus:
Hahaha...

Keep saying that stuff, you are even making it worse for the women you stand up for... The man approached her, granted, he's the one disrespecting his marriage...so it's not in the power of any woman to say no and steer clear of him?
As in, you're trying to imply that conjuring the will to say no and move on is just too much of a load for the woman?

You must be joking..

Every marrried man with vows should simply stop chasing ladies!!! You single men lament about your girlfriends being runnz babes, tell your fellow men that are married to leave these girls alone. They are the ones causing girls to get more and more greedy!! It is not enough for you to tell ladies to stay away from married men. That alone will not work as long as men continue to chase. You men create the 'man must cheat' anthem but forget it will work against y'all behind your back. MEN CHANTING MAN MUST CHEAT, SINGLE MEN LAMENTING
LADIES ARE NOT FAITHFUL AND ARE TOO MATERIALISTIC. You see how your man-made laws work against you?

Stop chasing ladies and stick to your wives!! God almighty was not stup1d when he said we should all stay away from adultery!! He did not give any preference to anybody. The commandment was for our benefit. The commandment has protection. all the men who had many wives in the bible, did they not face the consequences of polygamy? their stories are there in the bible for us to learn lessons and stay away from the same mistakes they made. Those useless men who die with wh0res in hotel rooms, would they have died if they just simply stuck to their wives? Would this man have died if he had just solved issues with his wife? Rather than solve every marital issue with cheating, simply go for counselling and imbibe communication!! Simple!!

As usual we take responsibility away from the person who committed the act and pour it all on the " strange woman".
I used to think Fela was a smart sound and rational man till this.
Blame it on the strange woman, on jazz on everything except the man who decided to leave his wife and kid for another woman.

Trust Nigerians to always find scape goats to blame for their wicked inconsiderate acts.
Fela your Dad died of diabetics, he fell into a diabetic coma it's common kills even in hours nothing strange or jazzy about it abeg. Next

MARKone:

Going by what his son wrote, don't you believe that the man was not in his right senses. Don't you know that some women are very diabolic, and would go to any extent to "chain" any man they target.

A lot can be learnt from this man's life's story.

The man cannot be blameless , if he didn't go out he wouldn't have met such .

egopersonified: Nairaland and arguments. @topic, my dad is a polygamous family man and when my sis was about to get married(the first wedding in our home), he called all the girls into his room and told us that he would not give any of us out in marriage if the man was not ready to do the traditional and white wedding/registry. He told us that if he had a little restrain, he wouldnt have had as many wives as he does now and he wasnt ready for any of his daughters to pass through polygamy. I guess he was just trying to protect us from being victims of his own mistakes in his own little way.

not trying say anything bad about your father, but most men want to put other women through what they wouldn't want their own daughters/ sisters to go through.

Elantracey:


The man cannot be blameless , if he didn't go out he wouldn't have met such .

thank u