egopersonified:

Kai, if true, this woman has brain washed those children. I guess she wants to frustrate the guy out of the house, instead of her leaving him. But that changing the tv to cartoons bit would feel soooo demeaning, I dont pray my enermy to be in such a situation, see disgrace. The fact that you havent heard her insulting him doesnt mean its not done quietly, how then do the kids get these ideas? I pity the guy, poverty is indeed a bast.ard.

Thanks. Rather than make op look stu. pid for exposing the negative ills in the society; I think he should be commended.

Personally, I will never stand to face such disgrace again. I would put an end to my visit, friendship and all. Infact, I will assume I'm living with a dead neighbour. I'm allergic to i. diots.

carefreewannabe:

I know what manipulation is and therefore my question. I don't see it in the stories the OP provided. Do you?

I won't answer that. Lets assume we have different views.

Acidosis:
I won't answer that. Lets assume we have different views.

I can't, I don't know your views regarding this topic.

Truth be told,some women are devils.They are wicked and as well manipulative.I have seen several cases like this and even worst.They instigated feud btw husbands and their in laws,giving altimate attention to only her own folks.Some of my uncles dont even call my granny to ask about her health.Non of their wives have ever bought even wrapper for the old woman.She is lucky my dad and his immediate are always at her call.She is even more lucky my siblings,her grand children always dash her money by sending it across.But some in laws sef too get aproko!Their mouth travelfaster than airwaves.Wetin happen for lagos na na don reach damascus!If their brother is treating his wife well,the go carry am talk say he has been bewitched.But i believe a wife shud take her in laws as her own people esp the husbands parents.If she values her husband,she will make sure to make her in laws happy at all times.

carefreewannabe:

I can't, I don't know your views regarding this topic.

You like wahala

Here is my view:
The wife is a silent manipulator. Her mission is to create hatred between her husband and relatives.
You'll never find her argue with in-laws; but in her quite time with hubby, hoooo!

Her type will never confront anyone; but she'll use all available tool against her enemies. Tools like: Kids, Husband, Key, Food, Pet, Electricity, water, dstv

Acidosis:
You like wahala

Here is my view:
The wife is an silent manipulator. Her mission is to create hatred between her husband and relatives.
You'll never find her argue with in-laws; but in her quite time with hubby, hoooo!

Her type will never confront anyone; but she'll use all available tool against her enemies. Tools like: Kids, Husband, Key, Food, Pet, Electricity, water, dstv

Sorry, which wife?

carefreewannabe:

Sorry, which wife?

same "gentle" wife

Acidosis:
You like wahala

Here is my view:
The wife is a silent manipulator. Her mission is to create hatred between her husband and relatives.
You'll never find her argue with in-laws; but in her quite time with hubby, hoooo!

Her type will never confront anyone; but she'll use all available tool against her enemies. Tools like: Kids, Husband, Key, Food, Pet, Electricity, water, dstv

This is the woman. Her husband is simply a programmed robot doing the bidding of her. She hardly talk nor argue but every action of the husband is her bidding.

Such pathetic

This is the number one fear I have about marriage. Considering that mine is a united family where our successes have been a collective effort, I can never condone a wife who tries to put assunder in the unity which I enjoy with my family. I won't hesitate to choose my people over any wife that tries to create disunity in my family. This is not to say I would allow anybody trample on my wife for no just cause, but she has to first of all respect herself by not trying to come between me and my family members.

If you don't know the details don't assume.

cococandy: If you don't know the details don't assume.

In addition, most of those things was done by the man and yet everyone is saying the wife is the cause.

OP I'm sorry to tell you but you're a busy body. Why is it only you family members if your neighbor come to. Are you the only neighbor. It is possible that the family don't like you that's why they changed the channel when you came to watch the game. If this man was beating his wife I'm sure you'd day it's not your problem but it just breaks your heart that you could not watch the game there. Please respect his they do things in their home and maintain your lane

cococandy: If you don't know the details don't assume.

That is ehn. Assumptions! Smh

cococandy: If you don't know the details don't assume.

there is no assumption in what is true.even if it where made based on inference.the comments against her where also made based on experience.

soulglo:

In addition, most of those things was done by the man and yet everyone is saying the wife is the cause.

OP I'm sorry to tell you but you're a busy body. Why is it only you family members if your neighbor come to. Are you the only neighbor. It is possible that the family don't like you that's why they changed the channel when you came to watch the game. If this man was beating his wife I'm sure you'd day it's not your problem but it just breaks your heart that you could not watch the game there. Please respect his they do things in their home and maintain your lane

As per the television aspect, she disgraced her hubby and not me because she knows I have gigantic one that dwarfs what pass for telly in her sitting room. She successfully made us believe she calls the shot in her home so hubby reaction is inconsequential....grhhhh...that moment when your wife disrespect you in the presence of your friends and neighbours.

Though I took a pretty lady there and the husband was busy discussing with my girl concerning Whitney Hustons music and death. I guess that infuriated the wife to the extent of exposing inferiority complex.

My dear, I am not here to castigate her but to share this inconsiderate behaviour towards the husband family members. Reeling my encounters with her will make this thread a tip of the ice Berg.

SeaGold:

As per the television aspect, she disgraced her hubby and not me because she knows I have gigantic one that dwarfs what pass for telly in her sitting room. She successfully made us believe she calls the shot in her home so hubby reaction is inconsequential....grhhhh...that moment when your wife disrespect you in the presence of your friends and neighbours.

Though I took a pretty lady there and the husband was busy discussing with my girl concerning Whitney Hustons music and death. I guess that infuriated the wife to the extent of exposing inferiority complex.

My dear, I am not here to castigate her but to share this inconsiderate behaviour towards the husband family members. Reeling my encounters with her will make this thread a tip of the ice Berg.

You still don't come out smelling like flowers. I'm not married but I'd never take a date to my married friends home. In fact I am very careful the way I present myself when my friends husbands are around. Honestly to take your girlfriend to go watch football in her home like its a bar makes me think you're the one who is hell bent on disrespecting her.

The man hasn't complained about her behaviour. There are many interpretations to that.
Which maybe that she's acting out the husband's desires towards his family.
I believe if you respect your family,your wife will automatically respect them too. Or at least pretend to.
This wife according to the OP doesn't even pretend to. So you can't truly tell if she's the one manipulating her husband or just acting out the sentiments he shares with her in the privacy of their bedroom.

troy20:
there is no assumption in what is true.even if it where made based on inference.the comments against her where also made based on experience.

soulglo:


You still don't come out smelling like flowers. I'm not married but I'd never take a date to my married friends home. In fact I am very careful the way I present myself when my friends husbands are around. Honestly to take your girlfriend to go watch football in her home like its a bar makes me think you're the one who is hell bent on disrespecting her.

You go wrong here. My sitting room is actually the bar. Her hubby, friends and children will often times flock into my living room and trust children, the whole place will be a messed up by the time the leave particularly when DSTV has the exclusive right to air a particular match.

You know children has no border more especially when a parent is with them. They take from me more to my insignificant needing their help. It is the same woman that will tell whoever cares I am pompous with overblown ego....hahahaha!

I have learn to accommodate people of diverse intuition and background

SeaGold:

You go wrong here. My sitting room is actually the bar. Her hubby, friends and children will often times flock into my living room and trust children, the whole place will be a messed up by the time the leave particularly when DSTV has the exclusive right to air a particular match.

You know children has no border more especially when a parent is with them. They take from me more to my insignificant needing their help. It is the same woman that will tell whoever cares I am pompous with overblown ego....hahahaha!

I have learn to accommodate people of diverse intuition and background

So basically you have history with this woman. You should have said so from the beginning. Both of you just don't like each other. The problem though is that involving yourself with her in laws is a very bad decision on your part. Not saying you should not have invited papa in but you should not have sat down and negatively discuss his daughter in law with him, bring girlfriends into her home and then get shocked that a football game turned to Tom and Jerry.

soulglo:


So basically you have history with this woman. You should have said so from the beginning. Both of you just don't like each other. The problem though is that involving yourself with her in laws is a very bad decision on your part. Not saying you should not have invited papa in but you should not have sat down and negatively discuss his daughter in law with him, bring girlfriends into her home and then get shocked that a football game turned to Tom and Jerry.

The wife is a manipulator.

Case closed.

Op is simply a good samaritan.

cococandy: The man hasn't complained about her behaviour. There are many interpretations to that.
Which maybe that she's acting out the husband's desires towards his family.
I believe if you respect your family,your wife will automatically respect them too. Or at least pretend to.
This wife according to the OP doesn't even pretend to. So you can't truly tell if she's the one manipulating her husband or just acting out the sentimenst he shares with her in the privacy of their bedroom.

Cocoa, trust me. No man would want to mistreat his parents and siblings if there are no underhand forces manipulating him and in this case the wife is the culprit. That's the fact more especially when you consider she is the bread winner of the family. But all in all, she good to her "puppet" cos she recently replaced the husband old car with a used SUV. So in my admission, a jobless man will certainly do the bidding of a supportive wife.

My grouse is, why will he allow her to manipulate him against his own people. Look, I am not against them sending the husband people away, but the proper thing should have been to giving them ample time to leave than this sudden "throwing" out. The "victim" explicitly complained that the wife instigated and sacked them.

soulglo:


So basically you have history with this woman. You should have said so from the beginning. Both of you just don't like each other. The problem though is that involving yourself with her in laws is a very bad decision on your part. Not saying you should not have invited papa in but you should not have sat down and negatively discuss his daughter in law with him, bring girlfriends into her home and then get shocked that a football game turned to Tom and Jerry.

I don't have any issue with her even though the cold war is apparent. I don't go soliciting to help anyone but when any member of her father confront me with challenges I can manage, I wade in as a good neighbour. We are all here for the service of humanity right?

You can rightly said I took a girlfriend into her living room, can I rightly said her husband also brings his friends into my place...? How about the children that mess up my living room?

I am engaging you to expose your short-sightedness otherwise your reasoning is bereft of logic

soulglo:


So basically you have history with this woman. You should have said so from the beginning. Both of you just don't like each other. The problem though is that involving yourself with her in laws is a very bad decision on your part. Not saying you should not have invited papa in but you should not have sat down and negatively discuss his daughter in law with him, bring girlfriends into her home and then get shocked that a football game turned to Tom and Jerry.

I don't have any issue with her even though the cold war is apparent. I don't go soliciting to help anyone but when any member of her family confront me with challenges I can manage, I wade in as a good neighbour. We are all here for the service of humanity right?

You can rightly said I took a girlfriend into her living room, can I rightly said her husband also brings his friends into my place...? How about the children that mess up my living room?

I am engaging you to expose your short-sightedness otherwise your reasoning is bereft of logic

Never draw conclusions until you hear both sides of a story

Ok.

Anyway I'm wondering what kind of person will let him/herself be toyed with and family disrespected like that.

Even if he marries a bad wife,it's up to him to draw a line beyond which she can't cross without causing some serious ruckus.

No matter how much money she makes more than him,if he doesn't let her get away with disrespecting his family,she won't.

If I'm the man's family,I won't even be upset with the lady but with the man who gave room for such.

They better stay away and avoid communication totally. When he sees he's losing their affection,if he values them he'll come back to his senses.

If he doesn't,his loss.

I can't imagine myself turning my back on a family that raised me because I got married.
As I'd have easily grown to full adulthood and got married without their support.

What bollocks!

SeaGold:

Cocoa, trust me. No man would want to mistreat his parents and siblings if there are no underhand forces manipulating him and in this case the wife is the culprit. That's the fact more especially when you consider she is the bread winner of the family. But all in all, she good to her "puppet" cos she recently replaced the husband old car with a used SUV. So in my admission, a jobless man will certainly do the bidding of a supportive wife.

My grouse is, why will he allow her to manipulate him against his own people. Look, I am not against them sending the husband people away, but the proper thing should have been to giving them ample time to leave than this sudden "throwing" out. The "victim" explicitly complained that the wife instigated and sacked them.

SeaGold:

Your question no get taproot nor nucleus lol

SeaGold:

Your question no get taproot nor nucleus lol

The female rights defenders are missing the key issue
he is jobless.. she is job full

Finish...

It is better to live alone on the roof than with a bad wife

SeaGold:

I understand your concern but I am sorry to disappoint you. I can't pretend and watch my fellow man property destroyed by the rain after being thrown out impromptu just because he had an ish with his brother in-law who happen to be my neighbour. Helping him, I guess will give him ample time to strategies and think his relocation proper. He can't stay past 2 days anyway.

We've to pray to find help whenever we encounter such situation cos no amount of money can help at such confused and trying moment.

This guy, you talk a lot of sense o.

SeaGold:

Obim, I am a social scientist and what goes around me is what I called "catchment apparatus" for social science evaluation and deduction to build up hypothesis. I will drew conclusions from such experiences and that's it.

Do you want me to go to sambisa to garner experience?

Ya. Try sambisa. Your life will never remain the same. You'll even publish a bestseller on your experiences there. Thank me later.

But op, I'm done joking. I wanna make a meaningful contribution. What happens under the sheets is almost supernatural. What the woman has (her honeypot if you mind) is one of the most potent charms existing on earth today. With that being said, a very humble wife can use that thing between her legs to make a man her slave. The man is oblivious of what he is doing even. He cant stand knocking on the "gate of heaven" in the night and for some issues he failed to handle well in the day time, the "gate" is under lock and key. You sef reason am.

carefreewannabe: What do all these stories have to do with manipulation?

What doesn't it have to do with manipulation?

waywardpikin:

What doesn't it have to do with manipulation?

Manipulation
1 (disapproving) to control or influence somebody/something, often in a dishonest way so that they do not realize it

http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/manipulate#manipulate__33

I don't see how the wives have influenced their husbands in a dishonest way hence my question.
Maybe you can answer it.

mentorandfriend: This guy, you talk a lot of sense o.

Yes o... I'm first of all shocked to discover that we still have caring neighbours who don't mind being their brother's keeper. God will bless you for your various acts of kindness @ op. If most people could emulate this kind of behaviour I know that this world would be a better place. That was the first thing that really struck me. Don't change who you are biko.

@ topic, I know most of the antics of women and I have witnessed a lot of manipulations such as these. However, the onus is on the husband to have some level of control over his wife. If he chooses to be clueless and spineless that is his business. On the otherhand, the wife may just be acting out a script given to her by her husband to perform. He might be trying to avoid looking like that bad guy here. It could be anything really. The scenario is open to various interpretations.

Most importantly, don't stop being the kindly neighbour that you are. God bless.