A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) - Romance

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A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) - Romance - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) (2134 Views)

How To Deal With Heartbreak! / Man End Up With Heartbreak And An Empty Wallet. / Fastest Way to Get Over Heartbreak? (2) (3) (4)

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A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by MizMyColi(f): 1:32pm On Oct 14, 2014

More oft than not, many, many of us, have for one reason or another, had to deal with heartbreaks and/or disappointments.

Some times we're victims, other times, we're perpetrators.

Some for all the wrong reasons, others for all the right reasons.

Whichever boat you fall in, I'm here to talk you through some tips that'll help you come out on the other side. STRONGER.

[size=16pt]Time![/size]
Give it time; 4 months minimum.
I just heard someone say "Whaaattt!!!??"

Yes!
You saw right!
4 months.

It'll give you perspective.......
You'd have healed to a reasonable extent.
In those four months, as a sensible kind, you'll take out time for sober reflections.

You'll reflect on all you did right.
More importantly, you'll reflect on the things you did wrongly.
Let's face it, there's no smoke without fire.
No matter how minute, there must have been somethings you didn't get right.

Now I'm not saying that the things you did wrongly are enough reasons for your getting dumped/being given a red card.
Hey, I wanna believe you're not as utterly bad, if they loved you enough, they'd hang in there and weather the storm, together.

C'mon, take that sad look off your face.
Trust me when I say this:
You're someone's miracle.
They'll show up.

I've found that it is at the time when we're most vulnerable from heart breaking disappointment(s) that our lives are eroded with different kinds of members of the opposite sex.
There'll be this special one or two, who seem like answers to your prayers, who have been sent by the universe to deliver you. You want to try as much as possible to avoid the pains and hurts and even if it means getting an impromptu partner, then so be it.

Well here's an ice-breaker. ^^^ That's quatsch. Capisce!?

Which brings me to my second point.

[size=16pt]Be Fully Present In Your Pain![/size]
Okay, now's NOT the time to deny that urge to cry, or kick the wall or feel several tinges of pain deep down.
Now's not the time either, to go looking for succour in the hands of another lover.
You need to let go of yourself.
Get Emotional, if you feel like it.
That's the first step to lasting healing.

[size=16pt]Your Thought Process [/size]
There's a saying:
"You know a man is fit to be called one by the way he handles challenging times.

Same goes to the ladies too.
You've gotta learn to think like a man and act like a lady (a beautiful one).

Now is not the time to look down on yourself, now is not the time to loose sight of what makes you, YOU.

True, you're likely to lose your sense of self worth, confidence and ultimately, self.

But trust me when I say this:

You cannot allow yourself wallow in self pity. Even in your pains and sufferings, let there be a deep seated resolve to come out of it - BETTER

You need to start recreating your world by your words.
That guy or lady must have called you worthless, trashy, ugly, e.t.c

Now truth is, none of those would have any hold on you if you do not consciously, unconsciously or even subconsciously believe those about yourself.

Declare to yourself that you are good, lovely, magnificient, worthy, graceful, handsome, cute, manly, womanly.....e.t.c.
In a nutshell?
Re-create your world by changing your words and your mindset.
It's okay if you don't believe immediately.
Keep at it.
Repetition is the mother of necessity.

Also,
Remember that you're under no obligation whatsoever to read things or hear people or be around circles where any form of negative energy is expended.

More than anything, you need to surround your self with people or things that make you feel good, people who say kind things to you. More than ever, no matter how tempting it is...........Avoid reading stories or hearing people who say things like:

*All men are dogs*
*Ladies are useless except for sex*
*Thirty things ladies keep doing wrongly*
*Men of these days are not man enough*
...........Catch my drift?
They're toxic.
Avoid them.

Here's hoping that the few things I've written here, in addition to other materials you've come across, will help you overcome this phase of life, if/when it rears its head.

Keep in mind:
Every Disappointment is a blessing in disguise.

See you on the other side of the divide - Stronger, of course wink

1 Like

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by MizMyColi(f): 1:35pm On Oct 14, 2014

It's okay to add tips that might help.

We're one, after-all is said and done.
We're connected.

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by Nobody: 1:41pm On Oct 14, 2014

From the Bishop T.D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone and move on.

When people can walk away from you, let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
People leave you because they are not attached to you. And if they are not attached to you, you can't make them stay.
People leave you because they weren't born with you. And if they weren't born with you, you can't make them stay.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.

Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.
It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat, I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to, Let it Go

9 Likes 4 Shares

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by priscaoge(f): 1:51pm On Oct 14, 2014

Very interesting!!!

1 Like

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by MizMyColi(f): 1:55pm On Oct 14, 2014

priscaoge:
Very interesting!!!

1 Like

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by Tymax(m): 2:05pm On Oct 14, 2014

Nice one from prof.

I have 2 things to add:
-Always be prepared for heartbreaks but don't "expect" them.

-Keep away from the heart breaker during your healing process. I cannot overemphasize this.

1 Like

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by JayKayMaybachz(m): 2:11pm On Oct 14, 2014

I have never had any heartbreak/ache(s) before .... A'nt got time for shytes .... Got better things to do with my precious heart ....

Mind you I am not hearted.....I've lots of Love in me. The truth is that i rarely trust peeps to spare them my heart .... Human beings don't deserve no love cos they're so fvck'n mean .... I rather spare my pets some love

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by MizMyColi(f): 2:29pm On Oct 14, 2014

Tymax:
Nice one from prof.

I have 2 things to add:
-Always be prepared for heartbreaks but don't "expect" them.

-Keep away from the heart breaker during your healing process. I cannot overemphasize this.

Your siggy tho'
undecided

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by teewai3(m): 2:33pm On Oct 14, 2014

ok!!!

2 Likes

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by Tymax(m): 2:35pm On Oct 14, 2014

MizMyColi:

Your siggy tho'

Eeen wetin do am? undecided

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by Nobody: 2:46pm On Oct 14, 2014

TheCongo:
From the Bishop T.D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone and move on.

When people can walk away from you, let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
People leave you because they are not attached to you. And if they are not attached to you, you can't make them stay.
People leave you because they weren't born with you. And if they weren't born with you, you can't make them stay.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.

Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.
It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat, I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to, Let it Go

I Love this.
Interesting piece, op.

1 Like

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by adonbilivit: 2:49pm On Oct 14, 2014

nice
.
.
DMX said " If you love something let it go, If it comes back to you it is yours.

SAUCE KID said"if you expect the unexpected, then it becomes the expected"
.
.
be ready for whatever when dealing with people in any kind of relationship

2 Likes 5 Shares

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by ALKARULEZ615(m): 2:53pm On Oct 14, 2014

**MILITARY ZONE**

KEEP OFF!!!!

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by folameme(f): 3:06pm On Oct 14, 2014

MizMyColi:

Staying of romantic novels and films too*hehehehehehehehehehe*#teambloodyepicmoviewheretheybeheadlikilode#hope i was able to help undecided

MizMyColi:

Staying of romantic novels and films too*hehehehehehehehehehe*#teambloodyepicmoviewheretheybeheadlikilode#hope i was able to help

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by folameme(f): 3:07pm On Oct 14, 2014

MizMyColi:

Staying of romantic novels and films too*hehehehehehehehehehe*#teambloodyepicmoviewheretheybeheadlikilode#hope i was able to help undecided

MizMyColi:

Staying off romantic novels and films too*hehehehehehehehehehe*#teambloodyepicmovie#hope i was able to help

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by MizMyColi(f): 3:09pm On Oct 14, 2014

LoL Bae

@folameme cheesy

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by 2nex(m): 3:13pm On Oct 14, 2014

,.on point sir Td jakes

2 Likes

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by pweetyz(f): 4:20pm On Oct 14, 2014

TheCongo:
From the Bishop T.D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone and move on.

When people can walk away from you, let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
People leave you because they are not attached to you. And if they are not attached to you, you can't make them stay

People leave you because they weren't born with you. And if they weren't born with you, you can't make them stay.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.

Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.
It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat, I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to, Let it Go

..difficult..but true

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by chimerase2: 4:43pm On Oct 14, 2014

I had a severe heartbreak few months again
But I came tru courtesy of nairaland
I had to close all ma social network except nairaland and soccer site dat was wia I found solace
Now amu beta fine and ok
But no finking of dating again angry

And wat made it difficult for me she broke her promise of being a frnd she treated me like an enemy she just dnt want to fink of me cry

And again ma best frnd has lost his gal frnd he is going tru hell nw
All dis is becos we left skul angry

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by chimerase2: 4:45pm On Oct 14, 2014

Ma frnd is nw in critical condition
I would hv opened a thread abt it but hey its secret

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by Tallesty1(m): 6:38pm On Oct 14, 2014

I'm here

1 Like

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by barackodam: 6:54pm On Oct 14, 2014

Why should I get heartbroken sef?

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by barackodam: 6:57pm On Oct 14, 2014

chimerase2:
Ma frnd is nw in critical condition i wouldd hv opened a thread abt it but hey its secret

Man of god.

Tell us, we children of god are anticipating it

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by nikkypearl(f): 7:07pm On Oct 14, 2014

No 1 (TIME)
I woundnt totally agree wif that!^
Coz' to be factual,you can never,EVER get over the one you really love!even after many years you still find yourself ruminating bou' the time u spent togther!

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by chimerase2: 7:07pm On Oct 14, 2014

barackodam:

Man of god.

Tell us, we children of god are anticipating it

haba son of man u wn hear amebo story grin

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by MizMyColi(f): 8:10pm On Oct 14, 2014

Lolest

@Tallesty1 you're sighted.

@Barackodam It's okay to be human

@Nikkypearl, yes and no to the point you raised.

grin

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by Nobody: 8:52pm On Oct 14, 2014

stay off melancholic music it can make u more depressed

1 Like

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by warripekin(m): 9:32pm On Oct 14, 2014

MizMyColi:
Lolest

@Tallesty1 you're sighted.

@Barackodam It's okay to be human

@Nikkypearl, yes and no to the point you raised.

Are u going thru the heartbreak blues? Some brokenheart never mends. Time heals but not when d love is real.

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by barackodam: 9:40pm On Oct 14, 2014

chimerase2:
haba son of man u wn hear amebo story

Yes oooo

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by Nobody: 8:23am On Oct 15, 2014

Subscribing...

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by MizMyColi(f): 10:21am On Oct 15, 2014

YoursSolomon:
Subscribing...

Re: A Progressive Perspective On How To Deal With Heartbreak(s) by Nobody: 12:15pm On Oct 16, 2014

This thread reminds me of my own experience that I have already shared with the forum. A broken heart isn't a broken dream. A broken heart isn't a broken hope. Here was my story:
https://www.nairaland.com/466065/broken-heart-isnt-broken-dream

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