I stumbled on one job vacancy seeking graduates as air hostesses for a renowned airline. Unlike other vacancies, there were no criteria so I hurriedly applied for the position.

Before I go on, I'm a sucker for agege bread. I can't go a day without buying soft fresh bread from the iya mora by my gate.
One early morning, I sent my cousin to buy me bread as usual and when she returned with my package, she told me the iya mora and her five kids had been hit by the worst apollo she has ever seen. According to her, You would think someone plucked out their eyeballs and soaked it in a pot of tomatoes sauce.

Little did we know the generous iya mora had added her apollo as the final ingredient to the bread I bought.

My cousin was the first casualty. Then every member of my household caught the apollo virus except me. I showed no empathy to others plight cos I usually move around with the notion that a ratchet disease like apollo can never be my fate. All I did was make fun of them.

One Sunday evening, I received a phone call inviting me for the air hostess interview. It was slated for 9am the following day.
Since the venue was at the Island, I woke up as early as 6:30am to get prepared.
I had thought the headache, heavy eyes lids, blurred vision and fever I felt when I showered were signs of drowsiness until I pulled out a mirror to apply my makeup.
My screams were loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood.
I saw UGLY and ANGRY!
Of all celebrities on earth to contact apollo from, it had to be an agege bread seller!
My eyes were bloodshot, slightly closed and mucus mixed with tears were streaming down my eyes.
My own apollo was a combination of the one iya mora and 5 her kids suffered. It was like I was being punished by the god of apollo for dodging the apollo virus all my life.

But money was to be made. Amidst the pain and my poor sight, I put on a red dress to match my red eyes, threw one rayban shades into my handbag and dashed out of the house.
Do you know the iyamora saw my eyes on my way out and had the guts to hide her face and her kids from looking at me. This life...

When I got there, I took my seat among five other applicants. Apparently, the airline sent a recruiting firm to handle their recruitment process.
One rude fat girl with maggi sized head was in charge of the recruitment process. I greeted her politely but she returned my greeting with a hiss.

When it got to my turn, rather than call me out by my name, the uncouth girl referred to me as Madam Blind Bartimeus.
A height measuring scale was placed in front of me to stand.

"Abeg Abeg shortie! If you are really serious about this job, gain at least 2inches in height before the next interview on Friday!" She told me cruelly.

I didn't say a word. Where on earth was I supposed to borrow two spare inches from at this my menopausal age? Me that got stunted at 14 despite the sacks of beans my mum feed me for ten years.

"Take off those cheap glasses let me see your face." she ordered.
I took it off in slow motion and placed it on her table as the mucus and tears streamed down my half closed eyes.
She busted into laughter when I looked at her.
"So you want to enter plane and scare the airline passengers with this your ugly eyes?"
I ignored her again.
"Wait oh! Or are you crying because I called you short?"
"I'm not crying. I have pink eyes." I stated politely.
I called it pink eyes because that's an oyinbo and less embarrassing name for apollo.

"Isn't that apollo you are calling pink eyes ke? All these ajebotas won't kill us with grammar." One of the busybody applicants cut in.
Immediately I affirmed I was suffering from conjunctiva, the fat girl took me to the extreme of the hall and quarantined me there.
Five minutes after, she came back holding my Rayban by the R and flung it on me..
I have never felt so humiliated!

One hour passed, the entire hall was empty except for fatty and I. She still didn't deem it fit to complete my screening process. Most annoying part of everything were the crocodile tears of the apollo running down the cheeks of a phlegmatic soul like me.
No one speaks to Naijasinglegirl like dirt and gets away with it!

Since the locozuna sized recruitment agent was on a mission to stigmatise me like I had Ebola, I was going to show her bola!

I began coughing and staggered dramatically to where she sat.

"You would have to excuse me...I just remembered I have not swallowed my morning dosage of the drugs I'm taking..." I paused and sneezed on her face.
She gasped in shock.
"...for my ebola." I completed my sentence before she could curse me for pouring mucus on her face.
Her mouth was agape. She was took shaken to say a word 'after I gave her Ebola'
Her lame expression restored my confidence.
"Meanwhile, you can also keep my job for yourself, that is if you lose at least 60kg before Friday. You know if you enter plane with this your size, your fufu weight will just crash this plane." I blurted out and slammed the door.

That's how Naijasinglegirl lost out on her last job interview.
culled from http://www.naijasinglegirl.net

some people can be so mean and wicked esp wen dey kno dey ve an upper hand in dat situation.seriously dose re d reasons God does nt bless pple beyond and extent

I know its only naijasinglegirl that wil rit dz..lol

Ok. Don't fight with you interviewer next time. Click HERE for more jobs for you than fighting for a single position.

Terrific writer..can't say anything else!

FP material.....

Naija single gurl has made my day.....

Mods, pls do d needful

amazing

This piece is just too interesting and hilarious. I can't help laughing. Hmm, if this really happened, I mean your own part of sneezing at her, kudos to you. There re so many uncouth people out there who enjoy looking down on you as if no be God create una. All iz well!

The interviewer may have been rude but you commited at least two felonies.

Still not sure why ebola is fodder for jokes.

You didn't fight her physically?

After reading this, I conclude that Jonathan must go

Nice one, all these recruitment agents that will be delivering message that the company didn't send them!

@op u sef must u eat agege bread, u no go try wheat bread

I love this! I really cant stand som1 insult me because you want to give me a job... ill insult the life outta you(tho I dont like to insult pple) then go home to sleep!

.. Sorry' you hear..

cc150615:
Nice one, all these recruitment agents that will be delivering message that the company didn't send them!

So you believe this tale? smh.

CityNG:
The interviewer may have been rude but you commited at least two felonies.

Still not sure why ebola is fodder for jokes.

I share same feelings as well. The applicant should have politely explained that she recently contacted conjunctiva hence the need to wear glasses. This explanation may have lightened the mood.

Some HR persons may be rude but one's polite and calm nature may be all that is being watched out for from the applicant.

@ all, try not to loose your calm during an interview. Your ability to manage anger and heat from people may be all that is needed depending on the position beinh applied for though.

The interviewer got what she deserves!

Naijasinglegirl and her job hunting tales....i'm so LOL. More ink to ur pen @Yemisi63

So hilarious

uboma:


I share same feelings as well. The applicant should have politely explained that she recently contacted conjunctiva hence the need to wear glasses. This explanation may have lightened the mood.

Some HR persons may be rude but one's polite and calm nature may be all that is being watched out for from the applicant.

@ all, try not to loose your calm during an interview. Your ability to manage anger and heat from people may be all that is needed depending on the position beinh applied for though.

The interviewer may also be using her rude tactic to judge how interviewees will respond to stress and a rude passenger in flight.

Funny story

Naijasinglegal is a clown

@Uboma, you're right. Some interviewers will deliberately but up a nasty attitude to test how you will comport yourself on the job. There are also others that will treat applicants like trash because they feel they're doing them a favour. Any serious job applicant definitely knows better than to lash out a prospective employer. Nice story all the same.

Serves the interviewer right. May God help we the "job seekers" in this country

Hilarious

Gals and meanness Kai I never see #vegayarns#

Still observing

Reminds me of the previous thread, equally hilarious. Perhaps this is fiction, IDK.