Good day fellow N/L members. Please kindly advice me on what to do here.

I feel in love with a lady, since 3years and finally proposed to her this year. But before then, she has been in a relationship that crashed. and the reasons she gave me was that the guy was hard on her so she backed out immediately.
I proposed to her and she took like 4months to come to my proposal due to her relationship with other guy which i wasn’t aware of. I sensed that she welcomed me because she failed in her former relationship which is normal (Life must go on), We have bin having good talk on phone, She took me to her house, she has cooked we eat, she welcomed me, even give me a name, she has introduced me to her senior sister, we have even gone to tell our elders in the church and i was permitted to go for introduction with back up from the elders (Church rules).
One week for my going I went ill, test revealed Malaria which i am on treatment; my reason of coming here is to seek for your godly counsel. I was on my state of health that I and my wife to be was talking on phone, she told me to get well and eat because i could not eat, (no interest for food) if not she is going to lock the door against me if am tin or slim or looking like one who is on hunger strike. (i was surprise).
On Thursday day, 4th day to my introduction to her parents, we spoke again on phone, i was like am so tire and weak, even my clothes are dirty ( I never called her or wanted her to come to my place, also it is against the church order/rule). To my greatest surprise, she ask me how will I wash it, I responded, when am strong i will do it, she said hmmmm, better learn how to do it because she is not going to be washing my clothes. I was like are u serious? she said yes that she is telling me before hand. She said everybody in the house must wash his or her clothes, hmmm i was still surprise, I quickly asked, how about our kids who will be washing theirs? She quickly responded that when the kids come we will know what to do. Initially I thought she was kidding but the seriousness on her voice was so real. I became afraid.
She went to the extent of telling me to start saving money to buy washing machine from LG Company. That she will not be the washing machine, that don’t I have hand also?.
Secondly, I was also surprise that she has not informed her parents about my coming to her house for the introduction, which I kicked against and asked her if she was ready for me, and it was at that night of our call that she called the mum and tell her.
Friends, Pls I became afraid more about the washing of the clothe matter, this days, do wife's responsibilities exclude taking care of the husband proper.
What can I do now, should I still go ahead with the proposal, or she I postponed it or should I called off everything now that it is still early, am just confused, if my wife cannot wash my clothes then why is she my wife?

Help me pls with your good advice please.

A fiance who could speak to you like that before marriage will definitely turn into a nagging and probably abusive wife, even if she want a washing machine , there are polite ways of asking for it so my dear just thank God that she showed these signs early enough and call of the introduction ASAP


Don't allow love put you in a marriage you'll regret later.

My dear,run,run,run for your dear life is all I can say.

I dnt tink shez ready 2 marry u op

vizkiz:
All the "church relationship" sef dey get problem....Imagine i wanna get married to a lady and i wouldn't have assessed her @least a year to the weDding.

Lol...no wonder why 60% of christian relationships have problems cuz they were not given the chance to "know" themselves better before the marriage.

You are very right!

There is fire on the mountain...

All these errors and omissions wouldn't let me get the message properly

crystalflakes:
All these errors and omissions wouldn't let me get the message properly

Can u swear with ur bossom dat u dnt understand all woht d OP said.....
...
...
OP... U dnt nid any1's advice, d hand-writing is on d wall already

My normal sef would have just told u to go ask ur church!!

but then on a serious note, the church encourages courtship and the church doesn't preach against friendship. so instead of getting married to a pretty stranger u obviously dnt know, dt ugly friend u know nd can predict is always better.

and when someone u admire\love just break up, give her space to heal before asking for a r/ship (esp one as big as marriage)else she would just put the blame on u!!

wrt to 2 points then, my candid advice will be postpond the introduction (give an excuse with ur health condition) and court your wife to be. before deciding if u want to marry her nd this decision shdn't be based on love alone.

H

intercom:

Good day fellow N/L members. Please kindly advice me on what to do here.

I feel in love with a lady, since 3years and finally proposed to her this year. But before then, she has been in a relationship that crashed. and the reasons she gave me was that the guy was hard on her so she backed out immediately.
I proposed to her and she took like 4months to come to my proposal due to her relationship with other guy which i wasn’t aware of. I sensed that she welcomed me because she failed in her former relationship which is normal (Life must go on), We have bin having good talk on phone, She took me to her house, she has cooked we eat, she welcomed me, even give me a name, she has introduced me to her senior sister, we have even gone to tell our elders in the church and i was permitted to go for introduction with back up from the elders (Church rules).
One week for my going I went ill, test revealed Malaria which i am on treatment; my reason of coming here is to seek for your godly counsel. I was on my state of health that I and my wife to be was talking on phone, she told me to get well and eat because i could not eat, (no interest for food) if not she is going to lock the door against me if am tin or slim or looking like one who is on hunger strike. (i was surprise).
On Thursday day, 4th day to my introduction to her parents, we spoke again on phone, i was like am so tire and weak, even my clothes are dirty ( I never called her or wanted her to come to my place, also it is against the church order/rule). To my greatest surprise, she ask me how will I wash it, I responded, when am strong i will do it, she said hmmmm, better learn how to do it because she is not going to be washing my clothes. I was like are u serious? she said yes that she is telling me before hand. She said everybody in the house must wash his or her clothes, hmmm i was still surprise, I quickly asked, how about our kids who will be washing theirs? She quickly responded that when the kids come we will know what to do. Initially I thought she was kidding but the seriousness on her voice was so real. I became afraid.
She went to the extent of telling me to start saving money to buy washing machine from LG Company. That she will not be the washing machine, that don’t I have hand also?.
Secondly, I was also surprise that she has not informed her parents about my coming to her house for the introduction, which I kicked against and asked her if she was ready for me, and it was at that night of our call that she called the mum and tell her.
Friends, Pls I became afraid more about the washing of the clothe matter, this days, do wife's responsibilities exclude taking care of the husband proper.
What can I do now, should I still go ahead with the proposal, or she I postponed it or should I called off everything now that it is still early, am just confused, if my wife cannot wash my clothes then why is she my wife?

Help me pls with your good advice please.

..no full stop..no commmma...no speell chek...no paragraph.

....bro we don't gerrrrit! (no offensce)!

Your fiance comes across as very uncaring. The last thing you want to do is get married to someone who is cold. Think again.

valdes00:

Can u swear with ur bossom dat u dnt understand all woht d OP said.....
...
...
OP... U dnt nid any1's advice, d hand-writing is on d wall already

. Of course I understood what he's driving at not all, can't read a full sentence without an error. Got me confused along the line so I stopped.

She really thought of you as a moomoo...marry her and cry later.

Honestly, break up with her.

Another failed marriage waiting to happen.




Leave the yeye girl!!!
She needs a lot of growing up to do!

Another failed marriage waiting to happen.




Leave the yeye girl!!!!
She has a lot of growing up to do!

Still dnt understand u dat is complaining,check ur spellings againg.

MrCork:
H


..no full stop..no commmma...no speell chek...no paragraph.

....bro we don't gerrrrit! (no offensce)!

philismary:
Still dnt understand u dat is complaining,check ur spellings againg.

^^^^ but why muss dak skin females always talk bak? ...sweery did anybody ask u for advise?

....clearly u nevr been to London...village gyal

@OP I feel your pain. Just forget about her and find another girl that is responsible. The girl is not good for you. Even if its just a girlfriend boyfriend matter i wouldn't advice you to carry on not to talk about some body that you will spend the whole of your life with.

...was tryna giv the poor man credible advise & she juss appear from no wear like stegomaya mooskito

Elantracey:
A fiance who could speak to you like that before marriage will definitely turn into a nagging and probably abusive wife, even if she want a washing machine , there are polite ways of asking for it so my dear just thank God that she showed these signs early enough and call of the introduction ASAP


Don't allow love put you in a marriage you'll regret later.

abi o

sir, A stitch in time saves nine. Thank goodness she revealed this her attitude before the wedding. I have one advice for you......... FLEE!!!

Religious people...



Sorry go ask the counsil of elders in ur church for advice


U can as well ask them if u can continue breathing or stop

How old she be?

E be like say you be spare tyre for here, dis wan wey she de sound like this, maybe you de desperate somehow, love don blind your eye

A lady wey de talk to you in this kind manner before marriage na like time bomb waiting to explode, just call everything off sharply and use youe head think, make you no go enta a one way street wey you no go fit come out from 100% fit.

I don talk finish

What I can tell you op is that never you follow your heart in making a decision cos the heart might be deceived rather lead your heart and ask the Lord for strength to lead.. One step at a time, Don't rush things else you'll be rushed to the grave earlier than you expected. Trust me, I know from experience

Nothing to say again, they have said it all but this what I know you will do

- Read all the advice and understand fully the implication
- Will talk to your fiancée and your church and they will convince you otherwise
-You will go ahead regardless of all what people told you
-1 month into it your fears will be confirmed and reality will dawn on you
-You will change your username and come back here for advice
-And the topic will be -" Please advise me, my wife is stubborn and lazy, should I leave her"
-3 months later another topic - I need a girlfriend please help.


We men are the most stubborn creature, we don't learn from other people's mistake until we learn with ours! Good luck to you!