Well, a question that has been battling my mind for a long time. As a member of a pentecostal church (Redeemed church), which is predominately full of Nigerians in England. A church that is Nigerian cultured .



How can you go about it in a way that you wouldn't sin against God?

How would you go about it?

PLEASE DO SHARE YOUR IDEAS!! I'm sure loads of people will benefits from this discussion

1. Any leader that forces you to do things against your will shouldn't be your leader, i.e. if you have the option to opt out which I believe you do.

2. I think it is very unwise for someone to fail school because they are doing the "work of the Lord".

If your Pastor can't understand that He is taking too much of your time then leave. Chikena.

@funkilicious
Well,it difficult to give a one solution because the same circumstance may not apply at all cases.But still always remember your primary purpose which is serving God, not serving your pastor or yourself as a christian.When you're serving God,its in His perfect will that you do well in your academics.He's not going to jeopardize your academic dream.So my advice is that you plan your time (many students spend hours working parttime,playing games or watching football,hanging out with friends& so on and some still manage to do well @ school) and you can try to explain your dilemma to your local pastor in a convincing way.that way, he should see reason with you.Don't be tempted to murmur against him.Also, more than all, ask God with sincerity for his widom to deal with the situation

Well its quite simple honor you father and mother so that your days be long. Thus if you truely honor them them you wouldn't be disrespecting God

@Post
From what you described above, the pastor is Just taking advantage of you. Don't jeopardise your education to please the pastor. Church work does not necessarily mean God's work. Another problem here is a regulation enshrined in the Redeemed church's doctrine and that is" all members must be subject to the church's leadership authority" THis encourages authoriterian behaviour amongst these mortals who claim they are representing God. My advise to you obey your parents as the bible directs, you don't owe your pastor any obligation.

Thanks everyone, I am actually aware of the Redeemed doctrine about obeying authority but it could be argued that those in authority are human, they can say or do things wrong but who am I to judge.

Funkilicious:
Its quite difficult to help people who are being used by others by purely psychological means. The long and short of the whole story is that the guy is using you and you can sense it, you know he uses people but you still see him as a figure of authority, you still think he has a right to tell you whats best for you only now you think what is happening is not in your best interest.
I would have proceeded to give you more examples of how people have failed in their lives because of this very same issue, but your boyfriend is already staring at you. One that hits me hard though is a cousin that one of these pastors used till he managed to come out of school after 2 extra years with a third class, right now as we speak he is doing a 20,000 naira a month job and is already married, his future is very bleak! But is he over it no! His pastor still has a hold on him still using him till this very moment I am typing this but there is not much I can do for him and neither can anyone do much for you.
This is what I have to tell you, psychologically what is wrong with you is called cognitive dissonance, your thoughts and your actions do not mirror each other, thus you find yourself confused, this is a stage in psychologically controlling people and can last for either a short or a long time and studies have shown that a person in this state almost always takes the path of least resistance. Only the strong ones can really fight, in the case of my cousin, the shame of failing in school and literally failling in life is a lot of resistance to face not to talk of what the whole family thinks of him, so he chooses the path of the pastor who will always praise him for working hard for God. Now this praise is another powerful psychological tool but we would not go into the full explanation of how this works.
I have often told my students that three things will make them have a really good life. One is energy because you are going to need a lot of that to do most things and your case is not exceptional, the second is to know what you want in life, this is very important and knowing this alone will make you solve a lot of your problems, like this one right now what do you really want from your life in general, then make sure you mirror your actions to depict your thoughts, that way you will avoid being in a dissociative state.
Finally you have to know what people want from you, this is another key you have to apply to this situation, what does your pastor want from you, is it really in your interest, what do you stand to loose or gain.
I hope this crash programme helps you, only you can really liberate yourself.
Cheers.

@Funkilicious
If you don't mind, what nature of work does the pastor ask of you? And what was the nature of work your Byfriend was doing for him then? Is it really church work or is it the pastor's personal issues that you are assisting him with. And if it is church work is it really God's work as defined by the bible or church social functions. You have to be able to distinguish between both. If the pastor claims to be a servant of Jesus then he should not be teking advantage of his congregation. Jesus would never do such a thing.

well @ Kunlelob, thanks a bunch! for your reply.

volunteer or slave labor . shine your eyes

Your pastor has brainwashed all of you.

Doing something against your will, is not working/serving god. Why don't you tell the foolsih man to hire somebody ?

Plus its not by force to do any of the chores on his to do list, so just tell him that you cant/.

I call this slave labor because he seems to be telling them that they're doing it for god even though its against thier will. Funny story sha!!!

Whatever you do, do willingly.

Well what can i say, whilst it is good to serve God and it is actually worth while to assist in the house God, it should be voluntary and it should be done with a heart of Joy for it to be meaninful. If it is being imposed on you then it as lost it's meaning cause you are not doing it from your heart you are just doing it to please the pastor. From what you have written i can deduce that the pastor is willfully taking advantage of you and i believe that you should stand your ground and not let him jeopardise your education. That is not to say you should not assist in church when it is convinient for you. But the part that got me frowning was when you stated that "two big guys" stopped you from exitting the church on the instruction of the pastor. I am sorry to say but this sounds like someone who is power drunk and is definitely abusing the supposed authority he as over church members who attend the church of their own free will in the first place. My suggestion to you is to find another place of worship so as to avoid conflict in your present church. Else the pastor would make you look bad in the eyes of other members of your church if you don't do his bidding.

Who pastor be?!

He dey craze

After my God, na my parents!!

abiii oh!!!

at least, pastor is not the one paying your school fees na ?

Mum and dad pay my school fees. I'm going to get my bf to read this topic. Thanks for your comment.

funkilicious:

Mum and dad pay my school fees. I'm going to get my boyfriend to read this topic. Thanks for your comment.

how big is this church that you are only one he is targeting. what's up with that. abi they mark silifa for your face.

mmmmmmm spiritual abuse is the worse form of abuse i my book.

bawomolo:

how big is this church that you are only one he is targeting. what's up with that. abi they mark silifa for your face.

what is silifa?

go and read your book. serving God is not foolishness

it's a big church but the members are medium size, if u read my post very well, I said he does it to most of the youth      ( students that are away from their parents). It's just that I'm the always the one on the defensive most of the time

@JJYOU, I'm on break from studying, I'm eating at d moment. Do you study all the time? lol

funkilicious:

@JJYOU, I'm on break from studying, I'm eating at d moment. Do you study all the time? lol

no offence meant. just stop worying about pator i said and study. you will always need your degree more than that man. tony ben said always work out your exit route before you empower people to rule your life

You should obey him!!!!! If you don't 42 bears would come out of the jungle and attack you!!

. . . Honour thy father and thy mother . . . . . ( Nothing was said about a pastor )

@funkilicious
Hello,now you’ve given a better perspective of what you’re going through. Its quite easy for me to start criticizing your pastor but I’ll also want to ask you,hope you are born again? I ask because of your zeal to serve in church. Its good to serve in church and to serve God but we should make sure that we’re not just wasting time serving if our hearts aren’t right with God.So 1stly, hope you are born again? Then next,what you should do is to try to correct the situation on ground.Make an effort to brighten your corner.Leaving chuch or quitting church work may not be the panacea, such a thing might still repeat itself some other time in some other form,so if you have a problem deal with it now.As they say, ‘tough times don’t last but tough people do’. You need to try and meet with yoer pastor and explain things to him.He should see reason with you.You shouldn’t be afraid to see(approach) your pastor.He’s supposed to be your spiritual father.
Matthew 18:15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
That’s standard practice. If that fails, you can report him to his superiors (senior pastors or your headquarters in Lagos).That way, he would be corrected, others will not be hurt like you were and you all will be happy and blessed.
James 5:19 Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him;
Jam 5:20 Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.
He’s probably being spoiled by his members because I can’t imagine any body going to church to fry puffpuff for pastor here in Nigeria not to talk of Great Britian.So bring him back to reality in LOVE, Much blessings

@Image123

Anyway, I DO SERVE IN CHURCH, my ministry is working with Children. I will continue to work with the children and only go to the big church when there is a need to. And also, I will still do things in church if I want to not when anyone said 'Do it' because I don't want to labour in vain. Remember the church is for perfecting the saints, not for the pastor to control his members by abusing his authority.

funkilicious:

Remember the church is for perfecting the saints, not for the pastor to control his members by abusing his authority.

Sorry dear the redeemed church doesn't see it that way. The doctrine is all must subject themselves to church Authority and members are not allowed to question that authority whether rightly or wrongly.

funkilicious.

Tell the pastor that you're tired of being treated like a slave.
If he doesn't like that, it's his problem and he can shove it.

My pastor told me this: "Treat a church just like you would anything else. Shop around. Find one you like. Don't just settle for the first one you come across. We don't settle for second best or something that makes us unhappy anywhere else in life so why should a church be any different?"

I'm glad someone like KunleOshob understands what I'm saying, It's hard to complain or tell the pastor.
@ Bastage, I'm finishing uni next summer, so it ain't long that I'm going to leave but I will miss the children. However, I'm still going to stand my ground till then. I'm only going to do things if I'm willing to and if i don't mind without anyone enforcing it upon me.

Anyone who drives the mind by force is a tyrant and should not be in charge of people.
Anyone that allows his mind to be driven is a slave.

@funkilicious
Be aware of one thing. Your Pastor is a man. An ordinary man just like your boyfriend.
The only difference is he's in a position of authority, which he's using to his own advantage.
He's able to get away with it cos the mother church has bestowed on him all the advantages, while ordinary cretins like you are to be seen, used and not heard. Any attempt to speak up will earn you opprobrium and a lot of embarrsssment. You could even be called a satanic agent on assignment to distabilise the church by confronting the man of God.
I know, cos my mum passed thru something similar. A 56year old woman going to do laundry for her church Pastor all in the name of Divine obedience!

So, what I would advise is
1. Don't confront him. You can never win as he holds all the aces.
2. Don't do anything you don't have a mind to do. He can never force you. At worst, he may threaten you with excommunication. Fine.
3. Remember he's just a man. He may have the spirit of God, but then so do you. Do not let anyone use the Bible to confuse you.
4. Strive to stand right with God. If your spirit is clear before God, then you have no problem.

Peace

Thanks@ coolruler. AWESOME contribution!!

Nairaland is seriously becoming anti-religious esp. anti-christianity more n more everyday,