bukatyne:


I like your post and that is how it should be normally BUT I would never advice sweet sweet for a cheating/abusive spouse.

It is very easy to sacrifice and make the home beautiful if it already so or if both parties are willing to make it work. You will agree with me that you will bend and be more accepting to a loving/non cheating hubby than a cheating one and vice versa.

God be with you

I know that is y u need patience and d grace of God. For some of us who don't experience I give God the glory, but for those experiencing it, may God see them thru

bukatyne:


I like your post and that is how it should be normally BUT I would never advice sweet sweet for a cheating/abusive spouse.

so what would u advice? divorce? separation?

benedictac:


that is ur own understanding and opinion

Yeah it is...

Godmystrength:
of what use is the respect i get from a man cheating on me? it's a pity

I wonder too...

beeevan:



Yeah it is...

good for u

benedictac:


so what would u advice? divorce? separation?

Hmmm...

This is dicey

It depends on the couple. If Girl A knows that boy B is a cheat ('probably' snatched him from Girl C) and she starts crying foul after marriage, I will not pay her any attention... As you lay your bed, you lie on it.

If the cheating with no prior signs started after marriage, it depends on the woman and circumstance in kwestion;

My type will just separate (I honestly do not have the strength/time for a divorce) after the second time of cheating. I will 'forgive' the first time (even though the marriage is over to me) and try to know why. If i have been starving him (which is not a reason however, he is human), I will adjust to make him change.

A woman who believes men are 'weak' and must cheat can decide to fight all her husband's girlfriends or wear red pants & bra

I neither condone nor excuse cheating however, i read of a man whose wife was a cold potato leading him outside. The man actually went to the counselor because he was always feeling guilty, repent, stay off sex (masturbate) and fall again when he can't cope. According to him, he had tried all he could to make the wife enjoy love making with success. Such a man would stop (his claim) when his wife becomes warm. This seems to be an exception and the wife actually repenting can make the man change.

benedictac:


good for u

Yeah, good for you too.

benedictac:


I know that is y u need patience and d grace of God. For some of us who don't experience I give God the glory, but for those experiencing it, may God see them thru

I would rather everyone does not experience it.

bukatyne:


I would rather everyone does not experience it.

the irony of it is that it is not possible

Married women the worst advisers to themselves..always encouraging pray and do nothing.wear red pants, wear yellow pants and other bs but when you get infected, they would be the ist to spread the news and even ban their kids for coming around.some will even tell you its because you didn't pull down heaven enough

If you notice your husband is cheating, you know what to do but you can decide to keep praying until you get infected, may be then God will decide to have some mercy on you at least you are virtuous even to death.

Church women, the worst pple to get advise from.

zeb04:
Married women the worst advisers to themselves..always encouraging pray and do nothing.wear red pants, wear yellow pants and other bs but when you get infected, they would be the ist to spread the news and even ban their kids for coming around.some will even tell you its because you didn't pull down heaven enough

If you notice your husband is cheating, you know what to do but you can decide to keep praying until you get infected, may be then God will decide to have some mercy on you at least you are virtuous even to death.

Church women, the worst pple to get advise from.

so satanic women are the best people to get advice from?

zeb04:
Married women the worst advisers to themselves..always encouraging pray and do nothing.wear red pants, wear yellow pants and other bs but when you get infected, they would be the ist to spread the news and even ban their kids for coming around.some will even tell you its because you didn't pull down heaven enough

If you notice your husband is cheating, you know what to do but you can decide to keep praying until you get infected, may be then God will decide to have some mercy on you at least you are virtuous even to death.

Church women, the worst pple to get advise from.

Exactly. They are usually very dull and uninteresting. Because of how fanatical they can be, their IQ and common sense goes down to Sub-zero.

benedictac:


you are wrong. I was only trying to let her know the divorce is never an option. she should work harder for her marriage to work. there is one thing u have to know about men, they love to be cared for and pampered they are like children. a little of this will sweep the man off his feet. it takes only the grace of God for men not to cheat.

as u can see, this man cheats and doesn't even respect his wife, he flaunts his cheating why is that so, becoz the other girl probably does what the wife doesn't. instead of complaining and nagging see how u can be more sweet to ur husband. when last did u send sweet text messages to him I.e "Honey are u coming home soon, I'm missing u" " I love u, can't live without u" and stuffs like that. How do u show ur appreciations. this is the secret of the other girl that makes the man go wild. You need more?

benedictac:

and I also said it takes the grace of God for any man not to cheat, and no it is not enough to stop him from cheating but will make the man respect and know he has a wife. The only one that can make any man not to cheat is genuinely having Jesus in his life.

Wow! So you actually have it in your heart that your husband will one day cheat on you and when that time cones, you will be ready 5 make your marriage work? You have already made up your mind, I wonder how you live everyday believing your husband could one day cheat on you. Marriage is not a do or die and honestly, it seems nsa suffer head things you go become.

kandiikane:




Wow! So you actually have it in your heart that your husband will one day cheat on you and when that time cones, you will be ready 5 make your marriage work? You have already made up your mind, I wonder how you live everyday believing your husband could one day cheat on you. Marriage is not a do or die and honestly, it seems nsa suffer head things you go become.

what u just said doesn't have any meaning. as long as Jesus tarries my husband will never cheat on me. his soul is more important to him than worldliness this I know.

I don't know if u are married

benedictac:


what u just said doesn't have any meaning. as long as Jesus tarries my husband will never cheat on me. his soul is more important to him than worldliness this I know.

I don't know if u are married

I am on my phone and the auto correct changes certain things I write but you said it takes the grace of God for any man not to cheat, Meaning atheists, non church goers etc are all cheaters. With what I have seen it's the born agains who cheat more so your statement is untrue.

kandiikane:

I am on my phone and the auto correct changes certain things I write but you said it takes the grace of God for any man not to cheat, Meaning atheists, non church goers etc are all cheaters. With what I have seen it's the born agains who cheat more so your statement is untrue.

u are not a Christian becoz u bear Christina, Paul, Peter etc. you are born again becoz u are renewed and the Spirit of God now possess u. so any born again that cheats doesn't have the Spirit of God in him and such is fake. one day nemesis will catch up with such.

As for the other religions, I have nothing to say about that coz I don't know their beliefs and I really don't want to know. I can only speak base on what I know and that is JESUS.

benedictac:


u are not a Christian becoz u bear Christina, Paul, Peter etc. you are born again becoz u are renewed and the Spirit of God now possess u. so any born again that cheats doesn't have the Spirit of God in h8im and such is fake. one day nemesis will catch up with such.

As for the other religions, I have nothing to say about that coz I don't know their beliefs and I really don't want to know. I can only speak base on what I know and that is JESUS.

Even pastors who have people falling and speaking in tongues under their anointing are having extramarital affairs.

kandiikane:


Even pastors who have people falling and speaking in tongues under their anointing are having extramarital affairs.

that does not make them Christians. Christian means Christ-like. and only the Christ-likes can see and enter heaven. so don't be confused or discouraged or even conclude because of the bag eggs in the christian-dom

babestell:
He may not be cheating (yet)

Sometimes it is possible for opposite sexes to form close bonds, that may seem like cheating. what kind of guy is he? Are you guys so close that you talk about everything? That maybe what he has with the other lady. A close friendship

I have a married male colleague who am close to. We go for mass together, enjoy the same activities, laugh at the same jokes, talk about everything. One day I asked him if his wife knew I existed and he said no, apparently he was pulling the same kind of moves your hubby did. eventually he did and the wife confessed that she had heard about me from other people and she didn't say anything because she kinda trusted her husband. madam and I are cool now not friends but we are cool.

For your peace of mind, don't start suspecting or reading meanings into his actions as that is a recipe for high blood pressure, rather work on becoming friends and realize that people will always have secrets, even toddlers have secrets not to talk of adults whose past we cannot verify. Of course this is just me presenting a different angle to the story

U r in a emotional relationship. Leave d married man to. V fun wit his wife not u. Use d tym wit spend it anoda oman's husband to build ur relationship. In case u don't knw ,dman might v feelins 4 u. D fact dt d woman is not talkin doesn't mean she is ok wit it.

cutiesoglam:

U r in a emotional relationship. Leave d married man to. V fun wit his wife not u. Use d tym wit spend it anoda oman's husband to build ur relationship. In case u don't knw ,dman might v feelins 4 u. D fact dt d woman is not talkin doesn't mean she is ok wit it.

You miss the point. The woman isn't saying anything because she knows it is not an emotional relationship. Because she understands her husband and how he behaves. The 2 of them are friends and when he told her, she understood it wasn't something to worry about. If you marry a man you understand and trust, such situations will not bother you because you know your spouse. If your husband/wife is the type that is free with the opposite gender as per gisting and stuff, he will continue to be so after the wedding. it will reduce but not totally go away will you then start jumping to conclusions everytime you see him exchange jokes with a lady...na high blood pressue be that

I also don't understand what you mean by have fun with me. Enjoying the same activities does not mean we have going there together or that we spend time together.

benedictac:


that does not make them Christians. Christian means Christ-like. and only the Christ-likes can see and enter heaven. so don't be confused or discouraged or even conclude because of the bag eggs in the christian-dom

Even christians fall into temptation and commit sin. if there won't be anyone commiting sin, there won't be any need for forgiveness except you are saying that forgiveness is only for the sinners that are just giving their lifes to christ....or that a repentant backslider has no place in christ anymore? As far as i am concern, sin is sin,,,,, lieing, stealing, corruption, backbiting, envy, fornication, adultery, evil thoughts etc are all the same in God's sight....

If only cheating were to be between the cheater and God alone and the cheater bearing the consequences all alone, it would have been better. but it is not always like that....

It is not easy for me to still be able to TRUST a man that is cheating/has cheated on me.. ...
It is only the cheated that knows how it feels. If only the cheaters know what they make their spouses/partners pass through emotionally among other things, maybe it will be easy for them to have a rethink but it is a pity that it doesn't even work that way....

Godmystrength:
Even christians fall into temptation and commit sin. if there won't be anyone commiting sin, there won't be any need for forgiveness except you are saying that forgiveness is only for the sinners that are just giving their lifes to christ....or that a repentant backslider has no place in christ anymore? As far as i am concern, sin is sin,,,,, lieing, stealing, corruption, backbiting, envy, fornication, adultery, evil thoughts etc are all the same in God's sight....

If only cheating were to be between the cheater and God alone and the cheater bearing the consequences all alone, it would have been better. but it is not always like that....

It is not easy for me to still be able to TRUST a man that is cheating/has cheated on me.. ...
It is only the cheated that knows how it feels. If only the cheaters know what they make their spouses/partners pass through emotionally among other things, maybe it will be easy for them to have a rethink but it is a pity that it doesn't even work that way....

I don't think u understood me

benedictac:


I don't think u understood me

sorry i shouldn't have quoted you. I was just lost in my thoughts.

babestell:


You miss the point. The woman isn't saying anything because she knows it is not an emotional relationship. Because she understands her husband and how he behaves. The 2 of them are friends and when he told her, she understood it wasn't something to worry about. If you marry a man you understand and trust, such situations will not bother you because you know your spouse. If your husband/wife is the type that is free with the opposite gender as per gisting and stuff, he will continue to be so after the wedding. it will reduce but not totally go away will you then start jumping to conclusions everytime you see him exchange jokes with a lady...na high blood pressue be that

I also don't understand what you mean by have fun with me. Enjoying the same activities does not mean we have going there together or that we spend time together.

Kk. Thnks4 clarifying. I now understand u beta. Buh stil ,don't b tooclose.

Men are the same. Galz are desperate and willing to do anything to get your man. My dear, prayer is the key.

babestell,
Pardon me for addressing you and leaving the Op.
I just read through what you wrote and I just had to say something to you.
You are treading dangerous grounds,it's either you are ignorant or maybe deceiving yourself into believing this your 'friendship' is what it looks like on the surface.

Being married to someone changes a lot of dynamics and certain attitude towards the opposite sex should be readjusted..If a prostitute decides to become a nun,won't she reassess her relationship with male folk?
You and him are very close,laugh at the same things,talk about everything,enjoy the same activities?wtf? are you reading what you are typing?It sounds like when you are talking about a prospective mate.

If your friendship is so innocent,why didn't he tell his wife?Why was his wife suspicious?Why were you asking if his wife knew about you?
Sometimes our conscience sounds warning alarm bells but we choose to ignore till it's too late.Or do you want to say you two are not attracted to each other?With all these things in common??

You are not supposed to be close to a married man.The place you are occupying is meant to be for his wife or male pals.
Married people have friends of the opposite se x,but it has to be those the spouses are comfortable with.Friendship is great,chatting is great,but closeness?? Tomorrow he will start gisting about his marital woes and how if he had met you first he'd have married you.I have male friends,DH has female friends but we are definitely not close to members of the opposite sex.It's not allowed.

It's not just about trusting your spouse my sister,it's about preventing things that could give rise to stories that touch.
My DH trusts me,but that didn't stop me from being tempted by one hot,firm nyashed colleague of mine. . Yet,I see myself as very strong willed and principled.You should ask yourself in all honesty if the friendship is proper.
I'm just judging by what you wrote here.The wife of the guy isn't comfortable,that's a sign for you to cool off on the closeness and find unattached people to talk about everything with.

I feel you are playing with fire,and sooner or later the chicken will come to roost.Maybe your mind hasn't gone this far,but trust me when i say the man has plenty stuff up his sleeve.
You will get married one day,and i hope you wont be offended when your DH shares his whole life with some babe in the name of closeness and friendship.

I don't mean to cause any offence oo,just writing my observation.

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Casey

hispinkolo:
babestell,
Pardon me for addressing you and leaving the Op.

I disagree with you. I don't know about you but not all cross gender friendships result in sleeping together or cheating. That is why guys complain about the friend zone.

I work in a male dominated office sha so am very comfortable with them. You have no other choice than to be friendly with them and in the process you discover that you guys share things in common, but those that mean you will start dating them...of course not. Just that you get to know them better. When we go for lunch we all sit and eat and sometimes the gist get personal...some are married, some are not.

My future hubby will be allowed to have female friends. If he chooses to be all mushy with them, that is his business. Since I plan to marry someone who is my friend, I won't be bothered by that

Babestell,

I understand perfectly that there's friendship between the opposite sex and i mentioned it in the other post i wrote.
However,i'm just pointing out friendship that got to the point of a wife not being comfortable and a husband not able to tell his wife at first.
All these are small small signals that all is not well.
I could be wrong.
However,if you feel you'd be happy with your DH being mushy with babes that's great!!
Thanks for responding to me by the way.
Cheers!!

Kanwulia:



Ha! "Dem tok say. . . . "! So, you know about 'marital infidelity'? And you are here 'forming' on NL huhn?
I see you have a problem with 'freedom of expression'.
Is he not the SAME MAN YOU MARRIED. . . with a prior history of 'CHATTING' WITH BABES?
Now that you know. . . WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING. . .RANTING ON NL. . .is my question?
Abi you nor know whia 'DIVORCE' court dey?

What other 'proof' do you need? Abi you nor sabi say 'TOTO DEY SOUR EVEN BEFORE HONEYMOON'? Efin if you be 'VAGIN' ni?

Stop being a 'MUMU'. . . . .Wake up and smell the 'dustbin' please!
The man don give you ring. . . GO AND CARRY BELLE! Or the 'SIDE BYTCH' will surely beat you to it. . .with all this 'busy body' you are doing on NL!


Hope this will knock some reality into YOU and this ya 'tatafo thread'?

Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!

Hard truth, but unnecessary.

Daresh:


Me I've reached realization that I cannot kill myself for any man. If he wants to follow mistress, odabo, good luck to him.

Same attitude I have now o, I just overlook everything I have more important to do wit my life... Free world n NL na my husband worst enemy wen am on phone keeping my self happy wit my unseen family.... D look on his face na die

peggykorol:
Madam when a man's ways are not straight they act silly
Like your hubby just did.trying to be defensive,saying you are mental and wants divorce(see him mouth)
He is cheating with her and loves the attention
If you don't have a job,now it's time to get one and try to ignore his phone
When you ask too many questions they begin to feel too important
It's not easy sha cos your marriage is still young
Am yet to see a man who has not cheated on his wife at one time or the other

Correct!