Dear Nairalanders,here are a couple of reasons we should all choose shoelessness over competence come 2015.
.
1)ROME WAS NOT BUILT IN A DAY: Well, we voted in the
Jonathan administration for four years. But what
really were we thinking? It is impossible to even
speak properly in four years. You can’t fix any type of
road infrastructure in four years and you just cannot
even articulate your programs and agenda
coherently in four years. Nobody does that!

2)THE LOVE OF COMMITEES: There is only one solution for all of our country's problems. GEJ has the magic wand. When you catch a cold in the morning
what do you do? Set up a committee. When you can’t
afford to pay your children’s school fees what do you
do? Set up a committee to find out why your earnings
have hit rock bottom. If Cassava bread is not the
favorite for most families, set up a committee to find
out why. Fuel is stolen at the open seas and subsidy
funds are been diverted by your friends? Just set up a
committee to probe the committee you set up few
months before. Never look into the findings and
recommendations of previous committees, just ‘dey
set up committee dey go’.
In 2015,we might never be lucky enough to find a candidate so much in love with setting up comitees for our problems.
.
3)PITY,PITY and PITY: “I am the most
criticized President on earth……The problem with
Nigeria is that people play politics with
everything, that is why I have not achieved
much….I did not cause Nigeria’s problems….”
President Jonathan can be so simplistic; he makes
Reuben Abati so proud. And we should all appreciate
this rare occurrence on our Planet. Gratitude should
be the least we could offer. It will be difficult to find
anyone else this ‘simple’ and who courts so much
pity, in 2015.
In 2015, just few days to the polls, he will ask us to
pity him and say something along these lines: “ I am
running for office again because you all criticized me
so badly four years ago. Don’t you feel some ounce of
pity towards me and my people? I am from a
minority tribe. Please pity me some more… and vote
for me…It will take a while before my part of the
country gets another shot at the Presidency .” And
then he will sob. If ‘simplicity’ is what you love, kindly
vote for President Jonathan again in 2015, and thank
me later.
.
4)BOKO HARAM ARE OUR SIBLINGS: President Obama
referred to his challenger for the office of the
President, Republican Mitt Romney, as a man who
“shoots first and aims later”. President Goodluck
Jonathan aims and shoots in one fell swoop and we
want him back in office as our President in 2015. He
is that good a sharp shooter!
The dreaded Islamic militia group, Boko Haram, are
our friends….ooops….our sisters and brothers, our
President reminded us glibly a few months ago. The
problem with these variant of ‘siblings’ is that they
are wiping out their own ‘siblings’ in the North of the
country and have made sure that industrialization
and commerce takes flight from the land of their
‘siblings’. Sibling rivalry at its murderous, you may
say.
A man who fetes terrorists? Please vote for him again
in 2015. He is our man!
.
4)THE LOVE OF CHILDREN/CHILDLIlKE CANDOR: When was the last time we had a
President who spoke with such candor, cathartic
fervor and fecklessness? My memory could be
unreliably poor, but Obasanjo was so crude he slept
with his son’s wife. Buhari hated corruption and
indiscipline, Gowon handed us some of the best
Federal infrastructure and Shagari left behind his
trademark cap as a fashion item for generations.
President Jonathan makes you feel you can touch
him…the same way you can touch and feel a child. He
cried like a child when he arrived Lagos to assess a
National disaster, blames everyone else for his
troubles like a child would and holds aloft a loaf of
Cassava bread during Council meetings like a child.
Don’t we all love children normally? I love this man!!!
Any candidate who appears on the stomp grounds i
2015 wearing no shoes and who doesn’t have diaper
on like a child will not get our votes. And I mean this.
.
6)PROMISSORY NOTES PRESIDENT: On the campaign
trail in 2010, President Jonathan promised us
everything under the sun—he vowed to tackle
erosion in the East, to address the falling standard o
education, to deal with corruption, to bequeath
Nigerians with a Southern link bridge and to contain
the crisis in Jos. Recently, he has promised to ‘crush’
Boko Haram and to prosecute Subsidy thieves. No
thief of note is facing the law. Some of them recently
made the shortlist of National Awards recipients.
The trouble with Nigerians is that we do not possess
Patience as a virtue. The President married one, so
he is better placed to understand the ramifications.
We just have to be patient. Only last month, he
promised to proceed on some exile if a certain
bridge linking the South South to the South West of
Nigeria was not constructed under his watch. Never
mind that feasibility studies on the said project may
not have been carried out.
Never mind, we should do with some promissory
notes now and again from the Presidency. Some
music to our ears now and again won’t hurt, will it?
We really have to vote for this man again in 2015,
because he will let us see the promise land from a
distance but may never take us there. Here we are
with our own Moses at our beck and call—a Moses
who never delivers. Let’s adore him and vote for him
again in 2015. He is the real deal.
.
7)BLESSED ART THOU AMONG WOMEN: The President’s
spokesman reminded us of how the womenfolk hav
never had it so good in Nigeria’s history. He was
right. President Jonathan loves his women, especiall
those in his kitchen cabinet ( they may not
necessarily be cooking for him, though) and he loves
them in all shapes and sizes. He loves his Dame, his
DAM and his Stella. And he leads the way in proving
to the whole world that our country will be a boring
place without women.
He adores his women so much, he never fires them.
They may have been caught with their hands in the
cookie jar, but not to worry, women are….
well….women. They may have supervised subsidy
heists and air disasters…they may even be flying to
Dubai to shop at tax-payers’ expense, but he indulge
them all.
In a world where women are fighting for all kinds of
empowerment, including ‘Pounded Yam’ Rights, the
President is showing us all that this can be done–
that loving women will lead our country to a better
place. And he is leading by example. Vote for
Goodluck Jonathan in 2015. Please do, because you
love a woman. And don’t you say that you don’t!
.
BORING SPEECHES? BRING THEM ON!: My secondary
school teacher always reminded us of the power in
words and in public speeches. Thankfully, none of
our leaders attended my school in the countryside. I
can’t recall a Nigerian leader who touched my heart
with his oratorical prowess. President Jonathan is
happily no different. If you feel like a nap while at
work, make your way to YouTube and search for
some of our President’s speeches. We don’t need
good speakers in our political space. We love them
drab—very drab.
During the last Presidential debates, a certain
Candidate Jonathan dodged sparring with the rest of
the contestants and only appeared a few days late to
deliver one of the most boring monologues in
Presidential campaign history. We learned that his
remarks at the time were read from a prepared text.
Nigerians waved him on to Aso Rock months later fo
his reward.
In 2015, we will need more of the same: colorless
politicians who cannot address a classroom of ten
people with some eloquence let alone inspire a
depressed citizenry with words. And should we be
looking for other Candidates who cannot deliver a
good speech when we have Goodluck Jonathan here
with us? Why should we ‘dull’? American politicians
keep us awake during the wee hours with some
wonderful speeches. Who needs those speeches
here? Certainly not us. We have so many leaders who
ply their trade for ‘Dundee United’ on our shores and
we love them just fine. They are no albatrosses. In
2015, we will make sure we vote them back in as
Presidents, Governors and Chairmen, thank you.
NB: If you think you just read this piece in error, you
may want to refresh the page.
.
.
.
NB: JUDE EGBAS SAID IT ALL!
Tags: berem
.
I LOVE GMB...Sai Buhari 2015

Buhari: Expired since 1985

Bros J na epic failure. Nigeria needs a clean up like Buhari if he still have the youth in him to filter such polluted air GEJ has created and then chase after corrupt Men that even his Godfather Tinubu won't be exempted. Imagine Tinubu and GEJ cooling off as cellmates?

Rubbish

Mogidi didn't go to school long enough to read the whole article. He went to school long enough to type words like "rubbish."

Mogidi:
Rubbish

Mogidi didn't go to school long enough to read the whole article. He went to school long enough to type words like "rubbish."

Chubhie:
Bros J na epic failure. Nigeria needs a clean up like Buhari if he still have the youth in him to filter such polluted air GEJ has created and then chase after corrupt Men that even his Godfather Tinubu won't be exempted. Imagine Tinubu and GEJ cooling off as cellmates?

I swear e go fine dieeee. GEJ and Tinubu. Don't forget Okonjo.

welcome bro you have a good reasons that's change every Nigeria shout for

laykorn:


I swear e go fine dieeee. GEJ and Tinubu. Don't forget Okonjo.

You wan kill Tinubu be that cos GEJ n Okonjo will do tag team on such a frail ol man. What's your take on OBJ with Atiku as cellmates?

Ummmm words.

No matter how bad this administration might have performed, they surely have some positive achievements but all this achievements are simply misplaced priority and waste of national wealth without fighting corruption to a stand still. GEJ lost my vote to this singular fact that he refused to pip into the eye or that canckaworm called corruption even if its just for 1 second in 4 years, his tenor gives in all possible definition of corruption and hence he fixed that letter F in the word FAILURE.

laykorn:

BORING SPEECHES? BRING THEM ON!: My secondary
school teacher always reminded us of the power in
words and in public speeches. Thankfully, none of
our leaders attended my school in the countryside. I
can’t recall a Nigerian leader who touched my heart
with his oratorical prowess. President Jonathan is
happily no different. If you feel like a nap while at
work, make your way to YouTube and search for
some of our President’s speeches. We don’t need
good speakers in our political space. We love them
drab—very drab.
During the last Presidential debates, a certain
Candidate Jonathan dodged sparring with the rest of
the contestants and only appeared a few days late to
deliver one of the most boring monologues in
Presidential campaign history. We learned that his
remarks at the time were read from a prepared text.
Nigerians waved him on to Aso Rock months later fo
his reward.
In 2015, we will need more of the same: colorless
politicians who cannot address a classroom of ten
people with some eloquence let alone inspire a
depressed citizenry with words. And should we be
looking for other Candidates who cannot deliver a
good speech when we have Goodluck Jonathan here
with us? Why should we ‘dull’? American politicians
keep us awake during the wee hours with some
wonderful speeches. Who needs those speeches
here? Certainly not us. We have so many leaders who
ply their trade for ‘Dundee United’ on our shores and
we love them just fine. They are no albatrosses. In
2015, we will make sure we vote them back in as
Presidents, Governors and Chairmen, thank you.
NB: If you think you just read this piece in error, you
may want to refresh the page.
.
.
.
NB: JUDE EGBAS SAID IT ALL!
Tags: berem
.
I LOVE GMB...Sai Buhari 2015

And the useless OP believe that Buharetard has more oral prowess than GEJ . . . . . Talk about impossible stupidity on display . . . .

Studying a four year course and u did not graduate after 4years so thats improvement abi,Unreasonable child sorry kid.

Chubhie:
You wan kill Tinubu be that cos GEJ n Okonjo will do tag team on such a frail ol man. What's your take on OBJ with Atiku as cellmates?

Dem go beat each other die for inside cell ooooo

jmaine:


And the useless OP believe that Buharetard has more oral prowess than GEJ . . . . . Talk about impossible stupidity on display . . . .

You replied to one. Reply to the other allegations too na. Calling me useless. One of the numerous NL kids.

CharliParker:
Studying a four year course and u did not graduate after 4years so thats improvement abi,Unreasonable child sorry kid.

Sir? What are you saying?

laykorn:


You replied to one. Reply to the other allegations too na. Calling me useless. One of the numerous NL kids.

I just skimmed through the nonsense and noticed your useless attempt to market Buhari.

Meanwhile, how old are you boy ?

jmaine:


I just skimmed through the nonsense and noticed your useless attempt to market Buhari.

Meanwhile, how old are you boy ?

I am 15. Yeah,15 years old.

laykorn:

I am 15. Yeah,15 years old.

Whaooo. At 15 u wrote this. U are way ahead of jmaine in sensibility even at his age of over 40 he is still a tribal/religious bigot.
Am sorry for his character, he was mould by this same arsh country he lived in.

Copyright

kolaaderin:


Whaooo. At 15 u wrote this. U are way ahead of jmaine in sensibility even at his age of over 40 he is still a tribal/religious bigot.
Am sorry for his character, he was mould by this same arsh country he lived in.

You just embarrassed yourself by acknowledging you were too dull to sieve through the nonsense penned here. By just quickly skimming through, the futile intent was made visible. Even the article was a poor copy and paste action, 15 years indeed . . . .

Where is your sensibility in promoting a worse product in Buhari. Useless things . . . .

P:S: I ignored the OP intentionally for obvious reasons, only to have a very meaningless mention from you.

cidieschat:
Copyright

Yeah? That's why I didn't forget to mention the name of the writer.

Another paper tiger on the prowl.

jmaine:


15 years indeed . . . .

Why should you believe? When all that some people can remember about their teenage years is football.

[b][/b]

jmaine:


And the useless OP believe that Buharetard has more oral prowess than GEJ . . . . . Talk about impossible stupidity on display . . . .

smiles

CharliParker:
Studying a four year course and u did not graduate after 4years so thats improvement abi,Unreasonable child sorry kid.

can we apply the above too to fashola, tinubu, oshiomole n all other apc governors who r in their second term in office?
Hw about Buhari maybe we should say he was sent out of school because he was a dullard n after so many years of no reading, n studying decides to pop out n seek for re-admission and at dat have not been given admission over three attempts because he could not pass the postutme
I'll surely advice before u click submit just know that most people are not as daft as u r but sees things from different perspective

Op,
did you strt out with only one knife too?

Gej
Tilll 2019000 kirikiri

tit:
Op,
did you strt out with only one knife too?

Ma? What are you saying?

Ibnsultan:
Gej
Tilll 2019000 kirikiri

We could hand him a presidential pardon.hehehe

Kokorokoo:
and buhari is a chronic failure...

*singing* mirror mirror on the wall who is the deadliest of em all? GEJ or Buharia?