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8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Nobody: 11:51am On Oct 30, 2014 |
Dear Nairalanders,here are a couple of reasons we should all choose shoelessness over competence come 2015. . 1)ROME WAS NOT BUILT IN A DAY: Well, we voted in the Jonathan administration for four years. But what really were we thinking? It is impossible to even speak properly in four years. You can’t fix any type of road infrastructure in four years and you just cannot even articulate your programs and agenda coherently in four years. Nobody does that! 2)THE LOVE OF COMMITEES: There is only one solution for all of our country's problems. GEJ has the magic wand. When you catch a cold in the morning what do you do? Set up a committee. When you can’t afford to pay your children’s school fees what do you do? Set up a committee to find out why your earnings have hit rock bottom. If Cassava bread is not the favorite for most families, set up a committee to find out why. Fuel is stolen at the open seas and subsidy funds are been diverted by your friends? Just set up a committee to probe the committee you set up few months before. Never look into the findings and recommendations of previous committees, just ‘dey set up committee dey go’. In 2015,we might never be lucky enough to find a candidate so much in love with setting up comitees for our problems. . 3)PITY,PITY and PITY: “I am the most criticized President on earth……The problem with Nigeria is that people play politics with everything, that is why I have not achieved much….I did not cause Nigeria’s problems….” President Jonathan can be so simplistic; he makes Reuben Abati so proud. And we should all appreciate this rare occurrence on our Planet. Gratitude should be the least we could offer. It will be difficult to find anyone else this ‘simple’ and who courts so much pity, in 2015. In 2015, just few days to the polls, he will ask us to pity him and say something along these lines: “ I am running for office again because you all criticized me so badly four years ago. Don’t you feel some ounce of pity towards me and my people? I am from a minority tribe. Please pity me some more… and vote for me…It will take a while before my part of the country gets another shot at the Presidency .” And then he will sob. If ‘simplicity’ is what you love, kindly vote for President Jonathan again in 2015, and thank me later. . 4)BOKO HARAM ARE OUR SIBLINGS: President Obama referred to his challenger for the office of the President, Republican Mitt Romney, as a man who “shoots first and aims later”. President Goodluck Jonathan aims and shoots in one fell swoop and we want him back in office as our President in 2015. He is that good a sharp shooter! The dreaded Islamic militia group, Boko Haram, are our friends….ooops….our sisters and brothers, our President reminded us glibly a few months ago. The problem with these variant of ‘siblings’ is that they are wiping out their own ‘siblings’ in the North of the country and have made sure that industrialization and commerce takes flight from the land of their ‘siblings’. Sibling rivalry at its murderous, you may say. A man who fetes terrorists? Please vote for him again in 2015. He is our man! . 4)THE LOVE OF CHILDREN/CHILDLIlKE CANDOR: When was the last time we had a President who spoke with such candor, cathartic fervor and fecklessness? My memory could be unreliably poor, but Obasanjo was so crude he slept with his son’s wife. Buhari hated corruption and indiscipline, Gowon handed us some of the best Federal infrastructure and Shagari left behind his trademark cap as a fashion item for generations. President Jonathan makes you feel you can touch him…the same way you can touch and feel a child. He cried like a child when he arrived Lagos to assess a National disaster, blames everyone else for his troubles like a child would and holds aloft a loaf of Cassava bread during Council meetings like a child. Don’t we all love children normally? I love this man!!! Any candidate who appears on the stomp grounds i 2015 wearing no shoes and who doesn’t have diaper on like a child will not get our votes. And I mean this. . 6)PROMISSORY NOTES PRESIDENT: On the campaign trail in 2010, President Jonathan promised us everything under the sun—he vowed to tackle erosion in the East, to address the falling standard o education, to deal with corruption, to bequeath Nigerians with a Southern link bridge and to contain the crisis in Jos. Recently, he has promised to ‘crush’ Boko Haram and to prosecute Subsidy thieves. No thief of note is facing the law. Some of them recently made the shortlist of National Awards recipients. The trouble with Nigerians is that we do not possess Patience as a virtue. The President married one, so he is better placed to understand the ramifications. We just have to be patient. Only last month, he promised to proceed on some exile if a certain bridge linking the South South to the South West of Nigeria was not constructed under his watch. Never mind that feasibility studies on the said project may not have been carried out. Never mind, we should do with some promissory notes now and again from the Presidency. Some music to our ears now and again won’t hurt, will it? We really have to vote for this man again in 2015, because he will let us see the promise land from a distance but may never take us there. Here we are with our own Moses at our beck and call—a Moses who never delivers. Let’s adore him and vote for him again in 2015. He is the real deal. . 7)BLESSED ART THOU AMONG WOMEN: The President’s spokesman reminded us of how the womenfolk hav never had it so good in Nigeria’s history. He was right. President Jonathan loves his women, especiall those in his kitchen cabinet ( they may not necessarily be cooking for him, though) and he loves them in all shapes and sizes. He loves his Dame, his DAM and his Stella. And he leads the way in proving to the whole world that our country will be a boring place without women. He adores his women so much, he never fires them. They may have been caught with their hands in the cookie jar, but not to worry, women are…. well….women. They may have supervised subsidy heists and air disasters…they may even be flying to Dubai to shop at tax-payers’ expense, but he indulge them all. In a world where women are fighting for all kinds of empowerment, including ‘Pounded Yam’ Rights, the President is showing us all that this can be done– that loving women will lead our country to a better place. And he is leading by example. Vote for Goodluck Jonathan in 2015. Please do, because you love a woman. And don’t you say that you don’t! . BORING SPEECHES? BRING THEM ON!: My secondary school teacher always reminded us of the power in words and in public speeches. Thankfully, none of our leaders attended my school in the countryside. I can’t recall a Nigerian leader who touched my heart with his oratorical prowess. President Jonathan is happily no different. If you feel like a nap while at work, make your way to YouTube and search for some of our President’s speeches. We don’t need good speakers in our political space. We love them drab—very drab. During the last Presidential debates, a certain Candidate Jonathan dodged sparring with the rest of the contestants and only appeared a few days late to deliver one of the most boring monologues in Presidential campaign history. We learned that his remarks at the time were read from a prepared text. Nigerians waved him on to Aso Rock months later fo his reward. In 2015, we will need more of the same: colorless politicians who cannot address a classroom of ten people with some eloquence let alone inspire a depressed citizenry with words. And should we be looking for other Candidates who cannot deliver a good speech when we have Goodluck Jonathan here with us? Why should we ‘dull’? American politicians keep us awake during the wee hours with some wonderful speeches. Who needs those speeches here? Certainly not us. We have so many leaders who ply their trade for ‘Dundee United’ on our shores and we love them just fine. They are no albatrosses. In 2015, we will make sure we vote them back in as Presidents, Governors and Chairmen, thank you. NB: If you think you just read this piece in error, you may want to refresh the page. . . . NB: JUDE EGBAS SAID IT ALL! Tags: berem . I LOVE GMB...Sai Buhari 2015 15 Likes |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Kokorokoo: 12:51pm On Oct 30, 2014 |
Buhari: Expired since 1985 5 Likes |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Chubhie: 12:59pm On Oct 30, 2014 |
Bros J na epic failure. Nigeria needs a clean up like Buhari if he still have the youth in him to filter such polluted air GEJ has created and then chase after corrupt Men that even his Godfather Tinubu won't be exempted. Imagine Tinubu and GEJ cooling off as cellmates? 5 Likes |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Mogidi: 3:14pm On Oct 30, 2014 |
Rubbish 2 Likes |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Nobody: 3:38pm On Oct 30, 2014 |
Mogidi didn't go to school long enough to read the whole article. He went to school long enough to type words like "rubbish." Mogidi:Mogidi didn't go to school long enough to read the whole article. He went to school long enough to type words like "rubbish." 8 Likes |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Nobody: 3:40pm On Oct 30, 2014 |
Chubhie: I swear e go fine dieeee. GEJ and Tinubu. Don't forget Okonjo. 3 Likes |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by johnmartus(m): 4:25pm On Oct 30, 2014 |
welcome bro you have a good reasons that's change every Nigeria shout for 1 Like |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Chubhie: 10:09pm On Oct 30, 2014 |
laykorn:You wan kill Tinubu be that cos GEJ n Okonjo will do tag team on such a frail ol man. What's your take on OBJ with Atiku as cellmates? 1 Like |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by kolaaderin: 10:43pm On Oct 30, 2014 |
Ummmm words. No matter how bad this administration might have performed, they surely have some positive achievements but all this achievements are simply misplaced priority and waste of national wealth without fighting corruption to a stand still. GEJ lost my vote to this singular fact that he refused to pip into the eye or that canckaworm called corruption even if its just for 1 second in 4 years, his tenor gives in all possible definition of corruption and hence he fixed that letter F in the word FAILURE. 1 Like |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by jmaine: 11:52pm On Oct 30, 2014 |
laykorn: And the useless OP believe that Buharetard has more oral prowess than GEJ . . . . . Talk about impossible stupidity on display . . . . 3 Likes |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by CharliParker: 1:08am On Oct 31, 2014 |
Studying a four year course and u did not graduate after 4years so thats improvement abi,Unreasonable child sorry kid. |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Nobody: 2:35am On Oct 31, 2014 |
Chubhie:Dem go beat each other die for inside cell ooooo 1 Like |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Nobody: 2:36am On Oct 31, 2014 |
jmaine: You replied to one. Reply to the other allegations too na. Calling me useless. One of the numerous NL kids. 2 Likes |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Nobody: 2:41am On Oct 31, 2014 |
CharliParker:Sir? What are you saying? |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by jmaine: 3:05am On Oct 31, 2014 |
laykorn: I just skimmed through the nonsense and noticed your useless attempt to market Buhari. Meanwhile, how old are you boy ? 2 Likes |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Nobody: 3:09am On Oct 31, 2014 |
jmaine:I am 15. Yeah,15 years old. |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by kolaaderin: 7:49am On Oct 31, 2014 |
laykorn: Whaooo. At 15 u wrote this. U are way ahead of jmaine in sensibility even at his age of over 40 he is still a tribal/religious bigot. Am sorry for his character, he was mould by this same arsh country he lived in. 1 Like |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by cidieschat(m): 7:51am On Oct 31, 2014 |
Copyright |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by jmaine: 7:54am On Oct 31, 2014 |
kolaaderin: You just embarrassed yourself by acknowledging you were too dull to sieve through the nonsense penned here. By just quickly skimming through, the futile intent was made visible. Even the article was a poor copy and paste action, 15 years indeed . . . . Where is your sensibility in promoting a worse product in Buhari. Useless things . . . . P:S: I ignored the OP intentionally for obvious reasons, only to have a very meaningless mention from you. 3 Likes |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Nobody: 9:30am On Oct 31, 2014 |
cidieschat: Yeah? That's why I didn't forget to mention the name of the writer. 1 Like |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by jamace(m): 9:34am On Oct 31, 2014 |
Another paper tiger on the prowl. |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Nobody: 9:40am On Oct 31, 2014 |
jmaine: Why should you believe? When all that some people can remember about their teenage years is football. |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Kokorokoo: 1:02am On Nov 02, 2014 |
and buhari is a chronic failure... Chubhie: |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Kokorokoo: 1:04am On Nov 02, 2014 |
[b][/b] jmaine: |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Kokorokoo: 1:05am On Nov 02, 2014 |
jmaine: |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by KHAYGOLD(m): 4:27am On Nov 02, 2014 |
smiles |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by kingphilip(m): 4:41am On Nov 02, 2014 |
CharliParker:can we apply the above too to fashola, tinubu, oshiomole n all other apc governors who r in their second term in office? Hw about Buhari maybe we should say he was sent out of school because he was a dullard n after so many years of no reading, n studying decides to pop out n seek for re-admission and at dat have not been given admission over three attempts because he could not pass the postutme I'll surely advice before u click submit just know that most people are not as daft as u r but sees things from different perspective |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by tit(f): 5:48am On Nov 02, 2014 |
Op, did you strt out with only one knife too? 1 Like |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Nobody: 6:08am On Nov 02, 2014 |
Gej Tilll 2019000 kirikiri |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Nobody: 6:30am On Nov 02, 2014 |
tit:Ma? What are you saying? |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Nobody: 6:31am On Nov 02, 2014 |
Ibnsultan:We could hand him a presidential pardon.hehehe |
Re: 8 Reasons I Will Vote Jonathan IN 2015. PDP Thugs Come And Read. by Chubhie: 10:20am On Nov 02, 2014 |
Kokorokoo:*singing* mirror mirror on the wall who is the deadliest of em all? GEJ or Buharia? |
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