Compilation of my favourite Punchlines on NL...similes/pun/metaphors/wordplays/ one liners...you name it....

In no particular order......

Streetwize --

**** Ill grab d constitution and take d[i] law[/i] in my
hands

***I could staple a calendar to ya skull . . . . and u
still wont carry d day/

**** ffuck your offences/ my fist hit fast...like a bundle of
blessings/
till ur so bleeped. . . u'll "self-service" on ya eyes,
ears and nose. . . but still won't 'come' to ya senses/

** den rip ya bones out ya body. . . and play 'tic tac
toe". . . on ya (Exo) X-O skeleton/

***Bleep ya bastard plans/ ya flows only test waters
Then branch out. . . when I dice ya face in 4 . . . and
send u to head-quarters

**** Ur "drunk" with pride?. . . . I'll dangle u 4rm a bridge
and make you "hang-over'/

Mikuz --

**** so when Im shooting new tecs/ like teams
recording a 'home and away defeat' . . he ll be
'losing his two legs'

**** Then this beating ll be without MEASURE . . cos Ill
'beat him within an INCH of his life' . . till he 'gets a
FOOT in the grave'!!/

Mailmac --
**
knowlegde beyond human's comprehension/
wisdom like Solomon's but in a more modern
dimension/

** i don't dream, i think of reality while i sleep
**

Ibime

*** if ya think ya prepared. . . blow ya brains. . and kill
the idea!/

***** Ill smash his face into a 'grandfather clock' . . . . to
give him a good beating. . . .for 'old time' sake!!/
**** And if you talking beef, change the subject. . . or fail
the exam!/

**** The information/ is that ya wife’s fornicating/
My seed's in ya family tree. . . call it cross-
pollination!/

**** I lynch this fella/ then put his díck in a blender/ to
switch his gender/
stab his feet with broken bottles. . . and make him
walk on 'glass shoes' . . . . like Cinderella!!/

I SMASH YA TEAM/ TRAMPOLINE on ya back and
CRACK YA SPLEEN/
Then spray ya ‘blood’ over ya T.V. . . now you got a
‘PLASMA’ SCREEN!!/
Ya girls name is JULIA, YES?/ You TRULY ARE
BLESSED/
But u ain’t got monopoly on her BEAUTIFUL
bosoms. . . .  it’s ‘COMMUNITY CHEST’!/

**** My gun is a gay/ It 'ejaculates noisily' . . when he
gets shot in the @ss/
. . cos my 'magnum c[i]u[/i]m laude'. . .like Im[i]
'top of the class'[/i]!!/

*** The dumb nitwit. . . .reading bible with a
microscope. . . .tryna 'magnify the Lord'!!/


**** If this faggót wanna beef/ I’ll stab him in the knees/
then slice 'both ears' and 'one eye' . . . . so he
believe 'none of what he hear'. . . . and only 'half of
what he see' !!/

ThePrekky ----

***** My mantle is bigger, I trample enigmas/ way ur sis
'stalks' me, bet d tramp wish I 'stick' her/ plus I'm a
star, men . .but bïtch lacks 'style'. .so wen i de-
flower her, she's left to handle d 'stigma'!!/

**** NL's Unbeaten, my every shot results in killings/
with stun gun that finish twerps/ so in the long run
I'll finish first/ cos Im usain bolt. . blazing every
track . .while u barely cover laps. . .like Bum-shots
& mini skirts!/

Im more revered than priests/ but any corny trick
@ fans to intrigue or deceive/ will hav u disfigured &
ditched/
you kicking gud metaphors is a paradox . .but when
I put nines to your mouth. . . it's no figure of
speech!/

*** so how ma gats ready spray/ I'll defy his altar. . .&
'cross his temple'. . .on ash wednesday!!/


blaqbones

***** . . .Reaches bethlehem, hides inna manger,
he's LOST...WATCHING/
Then I light it up, the 'Messiah' of rap. . .
'Burn in a manger'. . .So
GOD LOVING!!/
buh once it STOPS BURNING/
I'd take his ashes to the temple, dance to the
front. . . .and offer it as BURNT OFFERING!!!/

****Sony Speakers BURSTING UP WITH 'DRAKE'!/
I 'started from the bottom', DROPPED IT ON THE
FACE/
...Sid calling, am like 'Hold on, we going home', she
F.UCKING RUNS IN SHAME!/
Mehn I Banged the shi.t out her, since then
'NOTHING WAS THE SAME'!!!/

**** . .Then I sling Slugs at this RAPPER'S FOOT/
'Clear His Legs' and his FLAT @SS TOO/
. .Then sling anoda round the Neck. . .clear his
throat like its BABA BLUE!!/....

***-U possesed!! spending every NIGHT IN EVIL
MEETINGs/
. . .The winch crew ibime MIGHT BE EVEN
LEADING/
. . . .Buh no ish bro. . .I might bring a "honda baby
boy" today. . .buh soon enuf I'd "DRIVE THE EVIL
SPIRIT"!!!/

**** 007bruce ----

Stucked in an 'IBTC elevator', then he might be 'up-
to-standard'/

if you aint denounced the "Dark Lord" then what stuff
is you?/
You're just a "cat puzzled" If your stans ever call you
"Tom riddles"/

Emaprince

****  I'm the bright and coolest G/..who spits on the mic
to chew mcs/and i might knife and slew the mik/
But I'll hang him on a pole 20foot long . . . now that's
the 'height of cruelty'!!/

He's a Moderator . . but this 'monkey post' is not
lucrative . .street footballs!!/

*** Kr0ne ---

***  .So whoever brought u this pain, slap him/ I can
top the highest glad in his kindred/ but for thinking
he will reach there/
I'll remind u I'm Arthur Wilfred. . . my bars hover
above ur head with a caution sign. . .KEEP OUT OF
THE REACH OF CHILDREN!!!/

my killer fashion is plainly mean/ once I squeeze
and spray the lead/
. .bullets will leave more tears in ya knees than
crazy jeans!//

coogar

•Tough questions - Did your prophet forecast
obstacle?/Was it revealed you would need a top
class hospital?/Don't envy...This is expected when
a Tomcat talks to you/Your play with words are
horrible....Like Kuje prison detainee, you are behind
the worst bars possible/


Thunderstorm ---

**** Now he's beefing Mikuz ..for making a further
resistance/ how he'd get murdered in instance/
but few months ago Mikuz showed that "You're
sooo far from the truth" . . The speed of your lies
wont cover the distance!!/     ....



I couldn't copy all...if you got yours, please add....

Tags;
Ibime
Coogar
Mikuz
Emaprince
Guykhena
Limerick
Kr0ne
Ksslib
Elymaxiimus
Fuckyouhard
YoungDaNaval
Lagunna
Yeyenatu
007Bruce
Ojoawo,
thunderstorm
Elvisonjack2
Deepthoughts
Warriblood
Jigsawkillah
Iceskidd
Wrongturn
Ckushy
Testerfuze
teddybiyasi
Sammcarter
Geoxpress
Heywhizzy
Captainflash
Willofsteel
Sosiqdude
Richommie
Rapacme.

[PHOTOS] Woman walks STARK NAKED around New York and most people didn’t even notice

SEE MORE PICS: http://.com.ng/index.php/more-news/odd-news-reports/item/1330-photos-woman-walks-stark-naked-around-new-york-and-most-people-didn-t-even-notice

[img]http://.com.ng/media/k2/items/cache/dc52d5c5f54b7db2dfd2aae465dc6ccd_M.jpg[/img]

NICE!

.

You missed out Streetwize greatest ever line.

Ohms law toh bad.

'current flow' and 'potential difference'. I don't have the phrasing here with me.

Ibime:
You missed out Streetwize greatest ever line.

Ohms law toh bad.

'current flow' and 'potential difference'. I don't have the phrasing here with me.

lol ..I was gonna add that...thanks...


Those old verses you penned are skilless/ and
show proverbial weakness
and ya current flow. . . Im sorry!! . . . shows no
potential difference/

While thís liar joke and banter/ I fire flows with anger/ till he acquire myeloma plasma/
cos one punch will knock him out. . . but if I give him 'two more'. . .he'll be diagnosed with 'cancer'/

None of my bars are here, I suggest yu take this post down (-___-)

LooNat11kk:
None of my bars are here, I suggest yu take this post down (-___-)

I couldnt post all..cos of the nl word limit...add yours and those lines that made you smile...

Ibime:
While thís liar joke and banter/ I fire flows with anger/ till he acquire myeloma plasma/
cos one punch will knock him out. . . but if I give him 'two more'. . .he'll be diagnosed with 'cancer'/

this is your line.... ..don't post your line...

please do mention lines from we Rookies that made you smile, nod or made your heart skip a beat....

Elymaxiimus
fuckyouhard
teddybiyasi
007bruce
darkrebel
guykhena
ksslib
wrongturn. etc

Wrongturn---

One, TWO, BUCKLE MA SHOE/ and here come my
GOONS RUNNING YA HOOD/ you alone and
helpless. DUDE, WHATCHU GON DO?/
would he STOOP, CALL IT A TRUCE?'/ or would the
FOOL SUMMON HIS CREW?/ .... "TEAMCURVES!!"
he might bark.
But tha wud only put him in a bad shape to
LOSE ...RO-KI-A-TU!/

What here all about... It's nice

sosiqdude:
What here all about... It's nice

these are my favourites lines from different emcees here.... .post 3 or 4 lines you like too

Ibime:

He tried casting demons/ but he ain’t 'P Square'. . . .so they left
the pastor bleeding/
chanting “Peter we know, Paul we know. . . but who are you?”. . .as they slapped and beat him!!/

I don't like to remember this line any time I'm on steering. E don make me jam police car before for CMS. It's a perfect direct shot the opponent whose name starts with P and he's almost like a pastor too

kr0ne:
Ibime:

He tried casting demons/ but he ain’t 'P Square'. . . .so they left
the pastor bleeding/
chanting “Peter we know, Paul we know. . . but who are you?”. . .as they slapped and beat him!!/

I don't like the remember this line any time I'm on steering. E don make me jam police car before for CMS

you ve' said it before. .you really like that line....

I don't know why streetwize hasn't come online since...I would like to see another - streetwise vs ibime final brawl.....am gonna bet my money on Street ... how bout' you?

iamaromolaeran:


these are my favourites lines from different emcees here.... .post 3 or 4 lines you like too

You are back aromolaeran..welcome..I like this ya idea

Nice, I go sticky the thread after the tournament.

sosiqdude:

You are back aromolaeran..welcome..I like this ya idea

I have always been around...my new moniker is Darkrebel ...

kr0ne:
Ibime:

He tried casting demons/ but he ain’t 'P Square'. . . .so they left
the pastor bleeding/
chanting “Peter we know, Paul we know. . . but who are you?”. . .as they slapped and beat him!!/

I don't like the remember this line any time I'm on steering. E don make me jam police car before for CMS. It's a perfect direct shot the opponent whose name starts with P and he's almost like a pastor too

That punch funny no be small. Tf person wey say Ibime no be madman.

iamaromolaeran:


I have always been around...my new moniker is Darkrebel ...

I know

Illscripts

Stop acting like yur fists are hot/i've always known yu to be a "fake boxer" like okrika shorts/



ema prince

laughed when he said he free from sin/...and
dude was possessed by the demon king/
But now it's clear that the born again prekky is 'past
or' . . the demon just took a temporary leave from
him!!!/

iamaromolaeran:


you ve' said it before. .you really like that line....

I don't know why streetwize hasn't come online since...I would like to see another - streetwise vs ibime final brawl.....am gonna bet my money on Street ... how bout' you?

Yeah, it's not just about the punch, it's the comic effect. I tried imagining Prekky attempting to cast demons and how the demons rebuked him instead, quoting from the scripture.
The same with Wrongturn's opener. I envisioned Guykhena campaigning for Rok#atu and yelling 'Teamcurves!' and finally lost

LooNat11kk:
Illscripts

Stop acting like yur fists are hot/i've always known yu to be a "fake boxer" like okrika shorts/



ema prince

laughed when he said he free from sin/...and
dude was possessed by the demon king/
But now it's clear that the born again prekky is 'past
or' . . the demon just took a temporary leave from
him!!!/

Lmao! I've not seen this line o

kr0ne:

Yeah, it's not just about the punch, it's the comic effect. I tried imagining Prekky attempting to cast demons and how the demons rebuked him instead, quoting from the scripture.
The same with Wrongturn's opener. I envisioned Guykhena campaigning for Rok#atu and yelling 'Teamcurves!' and finally lost

I like the comical aspect but i prefer the horror core/ deadly,merciless strikes ...e.g....


he giving me strife/ I'll gut the pig with a knife/
And he'll be 2.5 centimetres from death . . . . when I
beat him. . . 'within an inch of his life' !!/

I make vets bleed. . .
Wait. . . let’s see/ This fake Jet Li/ will get his 'head
severed'. . . at 'break-neck speed' !/
Contort his body into a circle . . .when I take Prek’s
'feet'/. . .and make em touch his 'head' . . . just to
'make ends meet' !!/

Mikuz ---

i outmuscle the freak/ . .
Send 'Abia Warriors' to cross him with sticks/
But after they spill his blood on the streets/
Ill rip and flip his vascular organ in the air . . till they
hear his 'Heart land' . . like 'a club in the league'!/


do you know what they call this type of punchline kr0ne.?

they call it *gunshot * or wickedness

iamaromolaeran:


I like the comical aspect but i prefer the horror core/ deadly,merciless strikes ...e.g....


he giving me strife/ I'll gut the pig with a knife/
And he'll be 2.5 centimetres from death . . . . when I
beat him. . . 'within an inch of his life' !!/

I make vets bleed. . .
Wait. . . let’s see/ This fake Jet Li/ will get his 'head
severed'. . . at 'break-neck speed' !/
Contort his body into a circle . . .when I take Prek’s
'feet'/. . .and make em touch his 'head' . . . just to
'make ends meet' !!/

I know, it's your style. But I enjoy comedy a lot, anything that can make me laugh

his LIES AND BLABBERS/ that he RIDES AND HAMMERS/ thisagege bread eater,DISGUISED SHAWARMA/but when krone blew his cover, and DEFILED THE 'BASTARD'/ he came out in public and DENIED HIS FATHER!!!/ - Wrongturn

iamaromolaeran:
Mikuz ---

i outmuscle the freak/ . .
Send 'Abia Warriors' to cross him with sticks/
But after they spill his blood on the streets/
Ill rip and flip his vascular organ in the air . . till they
hear his 'Heart land' . . like 'a club in the league'!/


do you know what they call this type of punchline kr0ne.?

they call it *gunshot * or wickedness

Lol! Eerie! I'll take my time and dig the archives, coz I'd love to post humorous lines here

kr0ne:

I know, it's your style. But I enjoy comedy a lot, anything that can make me laugh

lol ..me too....what makes me laugh is the way emcees here describe what they will do to their opponent....

like that one emaprince did..the height of cruelty thing...I just dey shake my head

mikuz:


That punch funny no be small. Tf person wey say Ibime no be madman.

tf me be that.