Losing a significant relationship in life is never
easy, especially after you and your former partner
walked a journey together. The loss of a close
relationship can feel like emotional amputation.
You may feel sad and alone, as if you’re missing
an important part of yourself. If you were on the
receiving end of a break up, you may feel angry,
rejected or betrayed.
The good news is that the sadness doesn’t last
forever, and brighter days lay ahead. Below are
seven tips to healing and finding happiness again:

1. Let Yourself Grieve
When we feel pain from a loss, allowing ourselves
time to grieve is one of the most important steps
in the healing process. Find healthy outlets where
you can safely express your emotions. Have a
good cry (or a few), talk with supportive friends,
write in a journal, see a counselor, or pray to your
maker. Acknowledge the pain and hurt. Those who
don’t allow themselves to grieve carry repressed
pain which will inevitably affect future
relationships. When you let yourself grieve, you
give to yourself the gift of tenderness. In time, the
sadness diminishes, and the tears fall less. Your
healing has already begun.

2. Take Care Of And Pamper Yourself
It’s easy to feel sorry for oneself after separation,
and in doing so neglect one’s own wellbeing.
Some people self-blame, while others go into
victimhood. There may be an urge to mope
endlessly and wallow negatively. Some punish
themselves consciously or unconsciously.
If you find yourself engaging in any of the above,
may I ask have you decided to break up with
yourself as well? Did you abandon the most
important person in your life - YOU?
The more difficult the separation, the more
important it is to take good care of yourself. Eat
well and exercise. Do something to pamper
yourself everyday - be it a hot bath, fragrant tea,
fresh flowers, or massage at a spa. Be your own
best friend. You absolutely deserve it!
“Get on good terms with yourself and see how
quickly others get on good terms with you.”
― Napoleon Hill
3. Surround Yourself With Healthy Support
As you heal, the support and encouragement of
loved ones are essential to your regeneration.
Embrace the affection of friends, family, or a
beloved pet (the power of healing from animals is
well documented). When interacting with your
support system, there may be a desire to over-
analyze your break up. While some processing is
important and healthy, avoid endlessly revisiting
the past and rehashing old wounds. If you pay
attention to only mud on the ground after a storm,
you won’t notice the sky above has already
cleared. Focus on the positives.
“Normal people have problems. The smart ones
get help.”
― Daniel Amen
For more on improving intimacy and compatibility
in relationships, see my publications (click on
titles): " 7 Keys to Long-Term Relationship
Success ," “ Communication Success with Four
Personality Types ," " How to Communicate
Effectively and Handle Difficult People ," and " How
to Successfully Handle Passive-Aggressive
People ."
4. Engage In Physical Activities
There’s a saying in communication: “motion
dictates emotion.” How we use our body affects
greatly how we feel. The easiest way to feel lousy
about yourself is to keep your head down, sit like
a couch potato, and wallow in misery. Conversely,
healthy and enjoyable activities such as exercising,
singing, and dancing can energize your body, lift
your emotions, and enliven your spirit. So get up
and get active. Have fun, keep your head high,
experience your vitality, and feel good!
“I sing and dance not because I’m happy. I’m
happy because I sing and dance.”
― Chinese proverb
5. Allow Yourself Peaceful Solitude
The next step in your healing process is to allow
yourself peaceful solitude, and be comfortable in
your own company. Engage in enjoyable, solitary
activities that let you to feel peace and vitality on
your own. Walking, cooking, gardening, art making
and traveling are just a few examples. Get to know
yourself again.
“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're
alone with.”
― Wayne Dyer
6. Participate In Meaningful Work Or Service
The next to the last tip is to reach out and help
others in greater need than you. Volunteer at a
soup kitchen, visit an elderly home, or engage in
other types of meaningful work or community
service. Realize how fortunate you are. Let service
fill your heart with love and gratitude , and come
back with a new perspective.
“Happiness may be had only by helping others to
find it.”
― Napoleon Hill
7. Get Back On Your Feet Again
If you have followed most or all of the previous six
tips, you’re probably already in fairly good shape
physically, mentally, and emotionally. The final tip
is simply to get on with your life, knowing that
your future is full of new and exciting possibilities!
If there’s one thing I’m convinced of after over
twenty years of helping people improve
communication and relationships, it’s that there’s
a right partner for everyone (click & see my
publication " Seven Keys to Long-Term
Relationship Success ". It may take time to find
that person. It may require a good dose of self
honesty and personal growth to attract him or her,
but your partner is there to be found . And when
that day comes, as you rest in the arms of that
special someone, you’ll realize that everything
happens for a reason, the search is over, and your
courageous self-discovery has led you home to
Love.