Young people all over the world, regardless of culture, share at least one thing in common: the challenge of growing into successful adults. Every society has its own customs in this regard, certain rites of passage through which its youth must navigate successfully in order to be recognized as mature, responsible men and women. In Western countries, one of the most common and socially significant of these customs is dating. The word “dating” comes from the idea of “setting a date,” where two people (or more, if on a group date) agree to get together at a certain time and place for recreation and fellowship. Dating is an important vehicle in our culture for giving young men and women the opportunity to get to know one another in a socially acceptable manner. Although dating as we know it today is not a Scriptural concept, it nevertheless has become thoroughly imbedded as a social norm. From a sociological standpoint, dating trends and practices indicate overall societal health, because the way people behave while dating usually reveals how they will behave when married. Habits and attitudes established during the dating years generally carry over into marriage. As important as dating is in our society, however, questions remain in the minds of both parents and young people alike. What, exactly,isdating? What is its purpose? When is a person “ready” to date? What guidelines are appropriate for a dating..,...to be continue

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These are important questions that deserve solid answers. Understanding dating is essential not only for teenagers and their parents, but also for older, newly single people who, because of divorce or widowhood, are re-entering the dating scene. Habits and attitudes established during the dating years generally carry over into marriage. One of the most common questions that parents and their teenage children ask is, “How old should a person be before dating?” The answer is not as simple as some try to make it. In reality, the question of when a young person is ready to date is very subjective, depending on the parents’ attitudes and the developmental level of the child. There is more involved than simply assigning a chronological age. Adolescents mature at different rates, and girls usually mature faster and earlier than boys do. Some children may be ready to date at the age of 13, while others may be 18 before they are ready. A person’s readiness to date is largely a matter of maturity and environment. Part of maturity is knowledge, and there are four principles or prerequisites that every person should meet before they begin dating. Knowing and applying these principles will help ensure dating success regardless of a person’s status: younger, older, never married, or newly single again. THREEPRINCIPLESOFDATINGREADINESS 1.First of all, you are not ready to date until you are fully aware of both the benefits and the dangers of dating. Once you understand not only the perks but also the pitfalls of dating, you are mature enough to begin opening yourself up to more serious relationships. The primary benefit of dating is the opportunity to get to know someone new, to build a new friendship with a member of the opposite sex.

WALKINGINAGREEMENT A man and a woman who find each other while walking on the road to the Kingdom of God have a distinct advantage in their relationship over people who enter relationships born in the alleys and byways. Because they are moving in the same direction with a similar passion for God and hunger for His righteousness,

they are already aligned in a manner that enables them easily to walk in agreement with each other. This is an important consideration for people who are preparing to date. To walk in agreement with one another, as believers, is a central biblical principle, a primary characteristic of godliness. In the Old Testament book of Amos, God calls His people to task for their idolatry and disobedience, and then asks a fundamental question: Hear this word the Lord has spoken against you, O people of Israel—against the whole family I brought up out of Egypt: “You only have I chosen of all the families of the earth; therefore I will punish you for all your sins.” Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?(Amos 3:1-3) The implication is that no one can walk together in unity and harmony unless they agree to do so. Nobody can walk with God unless they agree to walk according to His principles and His Word. Walking together is contingent upon agreement. This same principle also has a prominent place in the New Testament. In addressing the problem of divisions between believers in the Church at Corinth, Paul writes, “I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought” (1 Cor. 1:10). Unity of mind and thought—walking in agreement—is the kind of relationship believers must have in order to experience God’s power. This is true whether we are talking about a fellowship of believers, two believers joining together in marriage, or two believers entering into a dating relationship. For example, consider the case of a Baptist dating a Catholic. No one can deny the fact that significant theological and doctrinal differences exist between Baptists and Catholics. These differences will make it very challenging, even difficult for this couple to walk together in agreement. No matter how

spiritual they may be, or how much prayer or fasting they have done, or even how full of the Spirit they are, they will face daunting obstacles in their relationship as they seek to walk in harmony. It is not impossible—the Spirit of God can bring harmony of mind and spirit—but it is difficult. One of the major problems we face today in our relationships is that so many people want God’s results without following God’s principles. They look for a godly return without making a godly investment. Everyone seeks success in their relationships, but many have little real interest in God’s place in those relationships. It is completely unreasonable to ignore God’s standards and still expect a godly outcome. Walking in agreement does not mean always seeing eye-toeye on absolutely everything, but it does mean being in basic agreement in the Lord. Paul made this plea to two women who were part of the body of believers in the city of Philippi: “I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord” (Phil. 4:2). Unity begins with basic agreement in spirit, which then leads to harmony of mind, thought, and judgment. It is completely unreasonable to ignore God’s standards and still expect a godly outcome. Spiritual agreement in the Lord is the basis for agreement in every other area. It is the foundation stone for every truly successful, productive, and fruitful relationship. People can share common interests, intellectual pursuits, and have the same goals, but without spiritual agreement, they will still have broken relationships. The secret to perfect agreement is to agree in the Lord. Our fundamental agreement must be spiritually based, which then provides a solid foundation for agreement in other areas. The basis for spiritual agreement is the Word

Principles
1.You are ready to date when you are fully aware of both the benefits and the dangers of dating.
2.You are ready to date when you have worked out beforehand a clear set of guidelines for behavior based on God’s Word.
3.You are ready to date when you have resolved in your spirit that you will not lower or compromise those standards for any reason, even if it means losing dates.
4.You are ready to date when you don’t needto.
5.You are ready to date when you have first learned how to be alone.
6.A whole person has a healthy self-concept.
7.A whole person has a clear and solid faith.
8.A whole person grows his or her own rootsin God. 9.You should be preoccupied with preparing yourself for whomever God is preparing for you.
10.Our first priority as believers is to seek the Kingdom and righteousness of God.
11.Don’t ever become so preoccupied by who you want that you forget to be who you are.

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WORK TOWARD INTIMACY

Few people realize that the seeds of either success or failure in marriage are sown during the dating period. Habits, attitudes, and thought processes that characterize a person’s dating relationships will carry over into that person’s marriage. As a single, if you want to ensure success in your future marriage, the time to plan and prepare for that success is now, while you are dating. That is why it is just as important to prepare yourself for dating as it is to prepare yourself for marriage. The standards for
successful dating are the same as those for successful marriage. According to the majority of marriage counselors, one of the most common reasons for the breakup of marriages at any stage is lack of intimacy. Most people associate intimacy with physical or sexual relations, but it is much deeper than that. Those who feel that having sex brings them intimacy are only scratching the surface. Intimacy is not an act. Intimacy is a state of existence in which both partners in a relationship trust the other more and more with their innermost thoughts. They trust each other more and more with their innermost wishes, dreams, and desires. They trust each other more and more with their innermost emotions. Intimacy, then, is the key to any successful relationship. Most modern relationships, marriage or otherwise, fall far short of attaining genuine intimacy.
One reason for this is because, in our distorted age of romanticism, manipulation, microwave speed and 30-second sound bites, we expect instant intimacy. This is a false expectation and can be fatal to a relationship. True intimacy takes time to develop. Many people try to take a short cut to intimacy through physical relations, which
....to be continued.