I will advice you better let this woman be. In a couple of years from now you will forget this emotion when you start seeing other people's children all over your place. I don't think you will ever forgive her for rendering you fatherless, or are you planning to marry a second wife? Who might make life unbearable for her.
Forget about this search and marry somebody that would bear children for you. If you still go ahead and bring her in and she is unable to give you kids, you should surely be ready to live all your days in grief and regret. No woman is worth dying for my friend. Shine your eyes

Good advice by Nosa-Henry.Its candid and emotion free. Though bitter it would cure.

My brother sorry to hear about your plight oh.

Giver her some time then just beg her and let her come back if u really sure want to be with her.

The best thing to do now is-First-Ask God for forgivenesss -Second-Forgive yourself and make a vow never to maltreat her again -Third-You and you wife should accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and saviour for then there would be a change of heart and your thinking would be different and miracle of a twins would sure come your way.
Believe in miracle ok,if human beings can manufacture a car with spare parts, what do you think of God. He can do more than you could ever think of or imagine.Read Isaiah 43 vs.18-19. Dont try God but trust God for it is well with your soul.Amen.
NOTE-WARNING TO ALL MEN THAT MALTREAT LADIES,BETTER HAVE A CHANGE OF HEART FOR THEN YOU WOULD ENJOY YOUR MARRIAGE. GOD BLESS ALL AND MERRY XMAS AND A PROPEROUS NEW YEAR.

Do you believe in MIRACLE. Reunite with your wife u aint God that gives babies. Believe in God and not d Dr's report. Ur wife will carry her baby in her womb soon( Twins) if u want more tell God he got them all. G/luck.

Girls should learn from this. hmmmm (sighs and walks out of the thread)

We are all humans, and are in human society. She will definitely come back, BUT keep trying (thatz if you truly love her)

Write to her email, call to her mobile thro' another phone, point her attention to this Forum so she could read your honest desire for her. All your effort will not be in vain!

There is nothing God cannot solve I feel you guys should have joined hands to pray about this, what if you were the one and lets assume she is richer than you. How would you have felt,. try and see if you can still see her, just pray she has not taken her own life. May God Help you.

ehya this is sadd

[size=14pt][/size] NOW I BELIEVE WE HAVE PROBLEM SOLVERS IN NAIRALAND FORUM. THE CONTRIBUTIONS I SAW HERE ARE WONDERFUL. IN ADDITION , I MUST TELL U TO DO EVERY THING WITHIN YOUR POWER TO GET HER BACK PLS.SINCE SHE TOLD YOU ABOUT IT, SHE LOVES U SO MUCH. SHE CAN DO ANYTHING FOR U. WOMEN ARE SECRETIVE WHEN IT COMES TO SUCH ISSUE. SHE LOVES U SO MUCH. WHEN SHE RETURNS, SHOW HER GREAT LOVE AND SHE WILL TELL U THE NEXT STEP TO TAKE.

She will be back, but you will have to romance her like crazy. Send flowers, buy her a trinket, beg on bended knees, make hot love to her.

This would be a good story for Nollywood.

Worriedman, now I am worried. I Hope everything is ok, how is your wife, please give us all an update, we care.

Hey bro why you sober,on ur own side u clin y shld a babe kil ur functioning.Really if u love am go on wit ya love life.Anybody LE FENU SO.

I think Johnokon is right, the next 10-15 years will really matter and if you are not willing to take this for the rest of your life then let her be and get another woman.

Dont Let your diamond go because of rough edges!
Whose report have u believed?
That woman will have children for Sure
A forgiving Gd has spare parts in His Store
He will heal her and you will see it
Publish apologies everywhere she may likely be.

Akinagirl:

Worriedman, now I am worried. I Hope everything is ok, how is your wife, please give us all an update, we care.

oooh! i read it. much worry.

You sound very hurt and i really empathize with you, its quite obvious you were blinded by the hurt & pain & were not out to intentionally maltreat her, and now you see the light.

I know a lot of people have already said so much regarding your post,some of them i thought were a bit hard & maybe callous,but at the end of the day i think the decision is ultimately yours to make.

However i would like to encourage you a bit,perhaps that might help.Just to say don't give up on what you want or on the future you see for yourself.As they say,"the darkest hour is nearest the dawn",and things will definitely get better for you.Hold on to your hope,your faith & believe that it WILL be well,& it shall.

I am a medical doctor & a practising christian too and it honestly amazes me how sometimes God rubbishes medical science just to prove his sovereignity.I know of 3 separate couples who were told by medical science that there was no way on earth they could ever have kids (in 1 case the man had Zero sperm count,in another the woman had the problem & in the 3rd case,it was said to be idiopathic ie medical term for unexplained).They were all christian couples and 2 of them had been married 9 & 11 years respectively.Last year,all 3 were delivered of healthy baby boys!!

I really doff my hat to them because i can only imagine how tough it must have been for them all those years,but they just still held on to their faith.We advised them to get IVF (and God i believe is not against that,as He is the source of all wisdom & gave man this wisdom) & indeed i know of one christian couple who conceived through IVF.However,they just determined within themselves that they were going to wait & believe God for a miracle, no matter how long it took.

I still advise my patients to try IVF, and you don't necessarily have to wait that long in the case of the couples above.Obviously this is something you & your wife have to decide & agree together if you choose to go down this route as it can be quite an expensive & emotional process & indeed you'll both need to be counselled properly before you embark on it.

Its available in Nigeria, i have heard of The Bridge Clinic,a reputable Fertility Clinic which is based somewhere in Lagos,you might want to look into this & find out more.

Anyway,i really do wish you all the best and my thoughts & prayers are with you at this difficult time, Take care.

This is a very sad story. i truly sympatise wt u,after al u've been 2ru in life dn dis cums up again.As 4 me u didnt overeact because dt is wt sum1 wld fil naturally afteral ure human.dis rily shows dt u truly luv ur wife cos sum guys in ur shoes wld nt allow such a wife to folow dm bk home dt same day after wt d doctor said bt instead u jst changed ur behaviour 2wrds her.it is natural in the circumstances.but due to the fact dt ur wife had already told u wt happnd b4 hand,dn it goes a long way 2 show dt she is innocent n honest.personally i feel u shdnt divorce her cs God is a God of miracles.she can still give birth.i wish u best of luck bro

I want to thank all of you people for ur replies, for all the solutions and criticisms made. Like what some people said, it is not easy for someone to learn that he will not be a father. I know i acted like a jerk. i realise i messed up by treating my wife like a slave instead of holding her close to my heart and finding a soluttion to the problem at hand.

I've begged her to come back home. She ended up staying in her older sister's house on the island. At first he did not want to see me, she even told the guard to chase me out of the compound. I later sent her flowers, chocolates(i know she loves chocolates alot, one of the things i used to win her heart back then in school), I even wrote her a poem telling her how sorry i was to have treated her that way. i guess that softened her heart cos she called me yesterday. At first she was acting all tough-like, but knowing my wife, i knew it was just a screen behind which she was hiding her emotions. i apologised to her and after begging and begging her, she told me she would only come back except i agree to some terms.

I'm still lonely in the house. Like someone suggested, we'll both go to another hospital to ascertain the ase from another angle. whatever happens then, we'll know. But i know that once she comes back, i'll have to treat her like a queen that she is. i have a lot of pampering to give her.

wow! you are a man i hope pple like Adam will dig a hole and enter

i read your last post and i really commend you. may goodness and mercy follow you all the days of your life. may pickin plenty plenty come your way. may you and your wife know what happiness is with or without children when she comes back. may you both live with God's blessing each day. may you both know what old age is. may you come here next year or two years from now with good news of your own BBB or BBG, amen.

a lesson for all the ladies out there. . . keep your legs close up until he walks you down the aisle. a lesson for you guys, stop asking a girl to sleep with you when you are not married to her. stop stealing what's not yours. a lesson for the married ones, do not hide anything from your patner. so much lessons and i hope those with ears are hearing and the ones with eyes seeing and those with mind are reading.

Good luck and tons of it.

Wow, looks like you are heading down the right path. I think you all will work things out, it is for better or for worse. I believe that God has some great things in store for you and your wife. May you both live long and happy. Good luck and God bless.

a lesson for the married ones, do not hide anything from your patner.

In the first page, he stated that His wife told him about everything before they even got married and he still went ahead with it so technically his behavior was very unwarranted.

.

it is a priviledge to write this but i get bother about people that give silly advices whose names i wont like to mention and this shows that most of them are having problems or will likely have problems with their marriages God helping them.

we cannot talk about marriage without the creator or the originator of this institution and any advice out of this scope is render useless regardless to emotions, feelings and other human sensitivity.

my advice to you which most peole did not say or ignore is that if a man beats his wife is not a friend of God talkless of divorcing, which brings the wrath of God upon yourself.
my advice then is that you need to restitue and bring back your wife and continue the relationship. God will suprise you if you take this action,pls notify the house for the testimonial.and for the rest of the house please caution on your advices, it says so much about who you are.thank you.

@ Poster.

I will attribute your reaction to her as a human being, infact good number of African men would do worse. But you can never tell who is who until you find yourself in the same shoe.

But why do you thing she told you her past before getting married to you?
I think she did dt Just in case if something like this happen so won't be caught unaware (Abi don' t you think so ?) and once you agree to proceed in your marring her it mean you are ready to cope and bear whatever the outcome of her past is with her. So why are you backsliding? why looking back at the time she needs you most? Have you forgotten "Its for better for worse, for , ?"

So I will advice you to go and resolve the issue with her. Don't forget that God didn't give reason or room for divorce. So its a sin against God.

May God forgive you for all you have done to her.

And please reach a conclusion/agreement with her that is the only way she can have her trust back in you (By making your intension for calling her back known to her).

I pray that as you are doing this God will help you.
Cheer and good luck.

I am really sorry to hear about your situation but I was struck by something that I have been seeing in different forms all over facebook. The concept of a "weak" uterus. IT DOESN'T EXIST. The most common cause of first trimester miscarriages is genetic and has absolutely nothing to do with the strength of the uterus. Multiple abortions can cause infertility and second trimester loss due to weakened cervix but it has nothing to do with first trimester miscarriage. I think that you need a new doctor.

But why do you thing she told you her past before getting married to you?
I think she did dt Just in case if something like this happen so won't be caught unaware (Abi don' t you think so ?) and once you agree to proceed in your marring her it mean you are ready to cope and bear whatever the outcome of her past is with her. So why are you backsliding? why looking back at the time she needs you most? Have you forgotten "Its for better for worse, for , ?"

Yep

Every lady should get pregnant before getting married,the world has changed and we should change with the changing World. Get pregnant at least 2 months before marriage to save yourself from the pressure thats comes from both families after marriage about not having been able to conceive

ogh shame, it shows u still do lv yo wife, ask for her forgivess and pray that ol goes back to the way it was. U should never forget God in your problems because God never gives us big problems that we can't handle. U can handle this and remember with him ol is possible, nothn is impossible wen it comes to him.
I hope you get your wife back and that she 4gives u.

I wish you well. I hope she can forgive you and you guys learn from this. I wish that woman that wants to abort her pregnancy when she is already engaged to be married can read this. I am sure this poor women will probably even sell her sould to the devil if she can get a child. If she knew the kind of grief she would endure, she would have kept that child. Life is full of lessons

This is the bestadvice ever. Takeit or leave it

I hate men that used to maltreated their wife, i can see the reason why a man will say he love me, all most every day he maltreat me badly.

Wife please forgive him, if you love him, don't walk away from him.

@poster;i would like to advise you like a brother/son,dont let your anger break your marriage.To your wife her mistake is she should have had medicals and proper agreement before going into the marriage with you.I believe in everybody's life theres a cross we all have to carry(this one could be yours).I beg you go back to your wife cos i believe shes in so much pain (knowing what shes going thru now).for better for worse.be grateful to God cos abything can still happen(people without wombs and fallipan tubes still conceive and bear children).it might be a test of your faith.please make peace with your wife,pray and believe that your wife will bear your children.stay blessed.