"If I knew what I know now, I would never have married you". This was the statement from the mouth of a married woman to her husband of many years. She was able to voice out her own frustration , but not many people can. Many married people today wish they had a second chance to choose another partner due to discoveries they made after marriage.
Many people get married without adequate preparation, and this thread is meant to prepare people for a glorious marital future. Below are seven major areas of preparation every one should consider.[b]"If I knew what I know now, I would never have married you". This was the statement from the mouth of a married woman to her husband of many years. She was able to voice out her own frustration , but not many people can. Many married people today wish they had a second chance to choose another partner due to discoveries they made after marriage.
Many people get married without adequate preparation. This thread is meant to prepare people for a glorious marital future.

GET READY! YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE EQUIPPED

Hope after readin, you wuld also provide mii wiv a gud wife cous I don find tire..

Below are the seven major areas of preparation everyone should consider.
One: SPIRITUAL PREPARATION: There are three major dimensions to spiritual preparation and everybody needs it.
First dimension: Develop a scriptural understanding for marriage.
Second dimension: Build up your spirit man to become sensitive annd whole. There are some things that will aid your sensitivity:-
1. Studying and meditating on GOD's word.
2. A lifestyl of prayer.
3. A lifestyle of worship.
4. Close observations.
5. Asking questions and seeking counsel also enlighten you.
Third dimension: Remove all obstacles and deal with known and unknown curses and covenant.

menix:
Hope after readin, you wuld also provide mii wiv a gud wife cous I don find tire..

Never get tired bro, GOD has a perfect plan for you and at the right time He will provide you with a wife of ur dreams. However, I will remember you in my prayers. Wish you success bro.

Yedo:
Never get tired bro, GOD has a perfect plan for you and at the right time He will provide you with a wife of ur dreams. However, I will remembre you in my prayers. Wish you success bro.

Amen!!!

Two: EMOTIONAL PREPARATION:- Spiritual preparation is not enough for marital success because marriage involves two people that are not only spirit beings, but also have souls and bodies. Just like spiritual preparation, there are also 3 dimensions to emotional preparation. I dey busy now but shall update by 12am. Nagode.

I've come as promised.

First dimension: Avoid acccepting wrong reasons for marriage.
This dimension entails your emotion following conditions of the spirit and not convenieces of the flesh. There are many wrong reasons for marriage that your emotion must be divorced from:
1. Age:- Don't marry just anyone because you feel you are growing old.
2. Passion for sex:- Don't marry due to sexual passion for someone because you will end up in sorrow and only enjoy sex and not marital bliss.
3. Peer pressure:- To allow people imfluence you into marriage is to leave your life in people's hand to be used, misused and abused. Even if all ur peers seem to have gone ahead of you, wait for your time.
4. Parental pressure.
5. Escape theory:- Never get married as a means of escaping from house chores or singleness because you may be exchanging one problem for another.
6. Pregnancy:- Being pregnant for someone or someone being pregnant for u is not a 100% guaranty that you must marry the person because there are many other factors that must be in place.

7. Social pressure:- The society might see ur singleness as a minus but how do you see it. Never allow people's opinion of you shape ur perception about yourself.
8. Loneliness:- Marriage does not deliver from loneliness so to go into marriage as a cure for loneliness is a wrong venture.
9. Physical features:- To allow infatuation due to physical attraction draw you into marriage is a great error.
10. Pity ride:- To marry someone because you pity them and want to help them is a disorder because marriage is not a ministry of rescue mission.
11. Blackmail:- "If you don't marry me, I'll tell everyone what we have done and I'll expose you" this was the voice of blackmail that caged a man into an unwanted union. Don't marry due to blackmail or else it will be ur prison.
12. Material reasons:- A poor man today can be rich tomorrow and vice versa so to make decisions due to material reasons will end in frustration because you need a person and not things.

13. Economic escape:- To run into marriage with a rich person to solve your finacial problem will definitely introduce other problems into your life.
14.Anxiety:- To hook up with Ishmael because you are afraid to loose and feel that Isaac may never come is a self imposed trouble-avoid it.
15. Over exposure to one person:- When you expose your self to only one person too much, your emotion may deceive you to think you are meant for each other and bring you into a relationship you are not set for.
TO BE CONTINUED...

Second dimension: Embrace wholeness by dealing with emotional weakness.
Some of the general emotional weakness that hinders wholeness in single people include:-
1. Moodiness: This is a negative emotion that can destroy any relationship, people with consistent mood swings need to seek help because it is not a good nature neither is it a godly nature to be moody.
2. Bagging: To keep things in your mind without dialoging about it, yet using it to act against your partner is a nagative emotional weakness.
3. Silence: To be extremely quiet is a weakness and not a strength because it makes you accept abuse without resistance.
4. Shyness: Being shy is not a positive emotion and has to be dealt with for relational success.
5. Fear: Being fearful is also an emotional weakness that becomes spiritual if allowed to persist.
6. Lust: This is an emotional perversion of legal feelings due to emotional weakness and should be dealt with.

7. Complex: Inferiority and superiority complex are two extreme weakness of the emotion that requires balance for emotional maturity and ralational victory.
8. Esteem: Low self esteem or too high self esteem is also an emotional weakness that needs balance.
9. Bitter/ Unforgiveness: To have a good grade in this two evil emotions is a great emotional weakness and no one that operate in bitterness or unforgiveness can ever have marital success.
10. Pessimism/ Critical mindedness: To always be on the negative and to excel in criticism alone is also a nagative emotion and weakness that can destroy any relationship.
11. Jealousy/ Envy: These are twin dimensions of emotional weakness that can destroy any relationship.
12. Explosive(Anger & wrath): To be an extremely or easily angry person is a dangerous emotional weakness because anger is just a letter short of anger.

13. Domination & Control Panel: To always tend toward dominating and controlling people and always wanting to have your way is a nagative emotion and a very bad weakness that should be dealt with.
14. Carnal mindedness: To be sinful, immoral and ungodly in your emotion is also a weakness, and it takes you to seek GOD's help and salvation to receive victory.
You can deal with the aformentioned by doing the following:
* Identify the weakness.
* Being honest to accept you have the weakness.
* Seeking GOD's help through prayers for devine intervention.
* Renewing your mind with GOD's Word and books/tapes that deals with the specific area.
* Consciously making effort to discipline yourself and make adjustment and replacement.
You can seek councel from qualified persons to get further help.

Third dimension: Understanding gender difference.
1. Men are logical while women are emotional. The man always thinks logically before bringing in his feeling while the woman always feels it before she thinks about it.
2. Men are moved by sight, women are moved by words.
3. Men are naturally rough because they were formed from the dust (its just a tendency) but women are naturally more careful and neater.
4. Men are majorly concerned about headlines and prefer news in brief while women are majorly detailed and prefer the whole story.
5. Men find fulfilment in their relationship to their job/carrier, while women find fulfilment by their relationship with a man.
6.Men get turned on easily and switch off easily off easily while women take time to be on and stay on for longer time and take time to switch off.
7. Men are more deep and less open while the women are less deep and more open.

Three: MENTAL PREPARATION:- One of the major reasons why people bcom frustrated in marriage is because they have not mentally prepared themselves for the responsibilities of marriage.
- Are you ready to go out & work to gather money to spend it on others alone & not yourself, pay bills, rents, school fees,cater for the family etc; are you mentally set for the selfless life?
- Are u ready to carry pregnancy for 9 months without being able to sleep on your face, eat what you like or do what you like? At a point u can't even stretch yourself, are you ready?
- Are you ready 4 housechores and the demand on ur time and complete adjustment that marital roles bring into ur life?
- Are you ready 4 parenthood, in-laws, outlaws, pressures etc?
Failure to face reality and get ready in dis areas has brought many people into frustration they did not bargain for,but those who prepare always prevail.

For a successful mental preparation, one must put some things in place:
1. Educate your mind: Embrace education so that you will not limit yourself.
2. Enlighten your mind: A wise man of GOD once said, " A good Christian is one with the Bible in one hand and a newspaper in the other hand; because with the newspaper he discovers the problem and with the Bible he offers solution. Many Christian singles today are mentally backward and this is due to lack of enlightment. Take time out to read books, magazines, articles, listen to tapes, browse the web and get all necessary information for your mental alertness and maturity so as to avoid mental deformity.
3. Eradicate wrong philosophies from your mind: Avoid mediocrity, grasshopper mentality and deceptive mindset. These are some philosophies you can hold onto that will affect you nagatively e.g
* Women are devils.
* All men are not trustworthy.

* I can never marry from that place or that way
* Marriage is outdated and obsolete
* Marriage is not a bed of roses etc.
These are all mind sets that can cage your mentality.
Know all the temperaments and their characters and also know the temperament of your partner.

Nice article
A little long but worth the read

Zeemoor:
Nice article
A little long but worth the read

Thanks.

Four: SOCIAL PREPARATION
Socialism is not carnality, and this is the first truth that every single person must embrace to be whole. Singles need to be aware, current and relevant because Christianity is not backwardness neither is it primitiveness. Being a Christian is not an enrolment back into the stone age. You need to be sociable i.e. accommodating, friendly, relatable, relevant and approachable or else you will decay and expire. Singles should get involved with excursions, travelling, visitations, etc; to enlighten them so as to remain relevant. Singles should prepare themselves socially to avoid future shame. There are many married executives today that cannot attend meetings and functions with their wives due to their social immaturity, and if you look at the first lady case among politicians, you will discover that the main first lady is always deprived of the glory due to this social issue.

1. Be courteous in your attitude and approach to people:- Avoid being rude, harsh, arrogant, pompous, proud, insecure, abusive, critical, judgemental, negative, fussy, disrespectful etc. Always remember that your attitude will determine how far you go in life.
2. Be relevant and updated in your dressing. Always make sure that you dress to:
*Cover your unclothedness.
*Enhance your beauty.
*Look attractive without drawing attention and being distractive.
*Portray elegance, strength and authority.
*Portray decorum and be identified with your gender and not confusing.
3. Your colour combination should be wisely packaged.
4. Learn how to cook (inrespective of your gender)
5 Learn the use of the cutlery.
6. Learn the use of the phone/computer.
7. Learn how to drive.
8. Have an international pasport.
9. Learn how to speak good english.
10. Be hospitable, accommodating and friendly.

Check for Preparing For A Successful Marital Future Part 2 for continuation.