Whether this holiday sees you travelling together
for the first time, negotiating crazy in-laws or
arranging the festivities, prioritise your love by
keeping your physical intimacy alive and your
emotional connection strong. Here's how...
1. Plan your time, form your team
If you need to schedule your time and sync your
calendars to make time for each other then do it.
Facing challenges together will bring you together
and the holiday season is nothing if not a
challenge.
Whether you're travelling, negotiating crazy in-laws
or shopping malls or throwing a party together
agree to go into the challenge as a team.
And it is your team against them, where ‘them’ is
everything else from Christmas shopping to ratty
in-laws.
2. Set boundaries
There are usually two major boundary issues in
family dynamics over the silly season.
The first is the free-for-all attitude to your space
and time that family – and sometimes even friends
– seem to assume.
The second is your family's opinions about your
life choice that they feel compelled to talk to you
about.
You are allowed to tell people when and where you
would like to see them; you are allowed to tell
people what you want to talk about. Even if those
people are your parents.
Noisy, invasive and opinionated family can have a
very negative effect on your relationship. So be
clear about where your priorities are and what is
acceptable to you. Support each other in this.
If you know your mom has a problem with your
boyfriend or your brother thinks your girlfriend is
an ass, put your big girl panties on and tell them
to respect your decision and keep their opinions to
themselves.
Brainstorm solutions to tricky situations with your
partner and decide how you will support each
other.
This could mean that you agree to steer away from
problematic conversations, leave the lunch after
two hours or refuse to be alone with family
members who abuse their position in your life.
Top tip? Resist the urge to moan or bad-mouth
family members that are frustrating you. If you
need to express your feelings, confide in your
partner and make him or her your ally.
3. Take it out the bedroom
Different routines and new holiday environments
make it easier to snap out of a rut and play more.
Take this opportunity to click the reset button on
how you and lover get your kicks.
Do you need to catch more quickies (keep the lube
on stand-by!) or do you need to use the lazy,
work-free mornings to linger over your love-
making?
If it's a choice between stress shopping and some
sex time, choose your relationship over the malls.
4. Gift each other a sex wish
'Tis the season to be jolly, so get your jolly on.
You know that thing your partner is crazy for, but
you've been too shy to try?
Give them the gift of being game to try something
out of your comfort zone – you never know you
could find you actually like it!
Remember, you also get to call on a sex pressie of
your choice.
5. Take some time out
Yes the holidays are about family, but at the core
is you and your partner, so take the time to
strengthen the core.
If you have kids, use all the resources available to
you to get time alone with your honey – use
babysitters, family, holiday play centres, friends,
play dates … there is no reason not to make some
time available for your primary relationship.
6. Don't overstretch yourself
Trying to be the best, bestest, bestester at
everything will stress you out. And stress kills –
not just you, but your love life. That's science.
Of course it's great to pull out all the stops for an
impressive, year-end blow-out, but if that means
losing sleep, getting into debt (which will stress
you out more) or becoming edgy and
argumentative is it really worth it?
Think: manageable expectations, team work, less
stress, less friction between you and your partner,
better vibes and sweeter loving.