I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! - Romance - Nairaland
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| I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by AdamBrody1(m): 4:35am On Dec 06, 2008 |
I was dumped by a chick i loved so dearly years back. Then i was strictly devoted to a one man one wife personality. Prior to that time, i had never cheated on any girl and i had only 2 girlfriends then ever. They were always long term relationships because i had the notion of getting married tothem. The first one had to relocate to venezuela with her family after 3 years of dating because her family were heavily involved in the oil business then and we lost touch. The second one i met was in the Uni and i fell absolutely madly in love with her. Like all other relationships, we had our ups and downs but i still had it at the back of my mind that at the end of the day, she was the one i wanted to get married to. While i knew she was very stubborn and flamboyant, i believed that it was just uni behaviour and when she was ready to shed the big babe status, things would work out well. She was a year behind me in school and i saw it as a perfect match. I was deeply religious and did everything to make her happy. We discussed plans for marriage after her own graduation for months and we always talked about it with delight. She always wondered why i never tried to cheat with any woman or her ever catching me with a woman but i told her over and over that it wasnt something my sytem was'nt built for besides god wouldnt endorse such behaviours . The major shocker came 2 weeks to my graduation specifically on the before vals day, she invited me to a resturant and broke up with me there and then stating that she was tired of the relationship. I tried to beg her in the full glare of other valentine lovers and was almost on my knees and i didnt know what to do. It was heart wrenching and destabilizing. I tried to follow her out of the joint to make her change her mind but a car was waiting for her outside with another guy waiting patiently for her. For hours i just sat there in the joint trying to reconfigure my mind about what just happened. I tried calling her but she refused to pick it. Different things were running through my mind about the reasons she broke up with me. 2 days later, i recieved a text from her saying that she couldnt marry a guy that was too cool and didnt have any action. For months i was stuck in limbo because i invested my life then in her and it almost led to me almost running amok and hoping to die! For 3 years, i refused to have any dealings with women except on an official level, i stayed away from parties, places of social interest and general places i could meet women. I began to loathe life and love and most especially i began to question my spirituality and religion. I began to spend more time researching the failures of god and religion because it failed me when i believed it mattered the most. I began to pick up the cool habits such as drinking heavily, smoking and clubbing. I changed my persona and i began to love the new me. I was'nt the geek from uni anymore with good grades and humble background seeking for my one true love but now a religious skeptic, a chain smoker, all round social butterfly. My interest in women began to grow again and i felt attracted to a chick after a while and i noticed she had the kind of persona i had in uni. She was homely, kind, deeply religious and very cool headed. We began to date and i found out that she fell in love with me. I hid my new me and she didnt know i smoked, drink or was'nt spiritual. After 5 months of dating, i new she was madly into me and one evening i invited her to a popular fast food joint on the island and after our meal, i looked deeply into her eyes and told her there and then, that i smoke and drink. She looked at me curiously and didnt say a word. I was expecting a backlash but she said she would pray for me and with prayers we could both over come it. I took the bold step to tell her that i don't believe in God. She looked at me and said, my confession today to her meant that God wanted to take control of me and she would pray more so that her future husband would be a testimony to god. I was shocked that she didnt rake, complain or act astonished but kept faith in the relationship and after ward, i stood up and told her that i was tired of the relationship and wanted a break up. She changed her counternance and began to ask why i was doing this to her and humilating her. I just walked out and felt like Superman. She ran after me and i just told her to never call me or see me again. Her tears almost affected me emotionally but i just zoomed off without looking back. All of a sudden, i felt as powerful as my ex who broke up with me back then. The sense of joy and accomplishment that followed that act made me a rejuvenated human being. I realised that being cruel scores you brownie points and being heartless means your emotionally free. You have nothing to worry about and you don't care for other people's feelings. Its all in the mind. That singular act made me go after cool headed girls to woo them dump them after 5 months of passionate romance . I have done it to at least to 4 girls since then and impregnated 1 along the line but didnt care whether she delivered it or not and i have that uncontrollable urge to continue to breakup with them. I no longer see a relationship as a lifetime thing and i see it more like a Player affair. Every time i see a girl i like, i long for the day i would break up with her callously. I don't have any form of remorse or need to change but more of the urge to continue to break up with women. Call it retaliation or cowardice. It is an uncontrollable urge i have now and i know its a bad thing and i don't feel proud of it atimes but i can't help myself anymore. I am tired of hurting people that really care for me but my system is now built to hurt and not love or have feelings for the female gender. I keep on playing the script of my ex's break up with me and everytime i dump someone, i try to make it look like the same way and manner she did it to me. I wish there is a way i can stop and go back to my Uni days lifestyle and beliefs but i know its a hopeless case because i can't tell the difference between falling in love and an emotional melt down !  |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by DavidDylan(m): 4:40am On Dec 06, 2008 |
you are a sad, broken man. You need help. |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by chika98: 4:41am On Dec 06, 2008 |
So how can we help you?? You need help seriously. |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by AdamBrody1(m): 4:55am On Dec 06, 2008 |
I don't see it as sad or broken, its just an urge that i have to fulfill unless i get cranky. I don't maltreat them or beat them or nag at them but act as the perfect boyfriend with gifts and phone calls, a listening ear and romantic walks but when the time comes, the urge will just take over me to dump them especially when i know they are extremely into me and i don't look back ever and lose immediate touch with them, keep a low profile for like 2 months and go scouting again! Obviously i am not spiritually inclined anymore so the whole prayer nonsense is mos def out of it. Counselling is just another way of linening the pockets of shrinks and nagging does'nt conform well with me. Maybe i need to understand why people break up with people they claim they love and leave them in a sordid emotional state without any foot stool to get up! I see it more like a thesis or project that i have to get to the bottom off and i don't care how long it takes or which chick i stomp on to get answers but i will continue to seek all avenues till i am satisfied! |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by chika98: 5:01am On Dec 06, 2008 |
You will never get the answers you seek. People get heartbroken all the time but they MOVE ON! You need to do that same. You are digging a bigger hole for yourself than you realize. It will only come back to bite you even more. She hurt you and U need to forgive her and MOVE ON! |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by AdamBrody1(m): 5:15am On Dec 06, 2008 |
Forgive her  haaaaaaaaaaa! Abeg i can,t laugh! let me tell you about forgiveness! you can forgive slight issues but you can never forget. You even loathe such a person the more that almost drove you amok to commit suicide because of love. You forgive people who stole your money but not people who wrecked your soul. I tried to forgive but the scenes kept coming back to me like a movie. It simply means i was stupid for falling in love with her and she was wise for kicking me out on the kerb and moving on. What i learnt was a big valuable lesson. I dont expect the chicks i dumped to forgive because, i have built my psyche not to care or feel emotionally attached. What really hurts is when you truely really love someone and your ready to die for that person and that person gives u a big F**K YOU sign at the end and screws you over a million times. you dont forgive such a person! Either you loathe the person for life or you learn how to screw people over 2 million times! |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by LoveAlways(f): 5:23am On Dec 06, 2008 |
My interest in women began to grow again and i felt attracted to a chick after a while and i noticed she had the kind of persona i had in uni. She was homely, kind, deeply religious and very cool headed. We began to date and i found out that she fell in love with me. I hid my new me and she didnt know i smoked, drink or was'nt spiritual. After 5 months of dating, i new she was madly into me and one evening i invited her to a popular fast food joint on the island and after our meal, i looked deeply into her eyes and told her there and then, that i smoke and drink. She looked at me curiously and didnt say a word. I was expecting a backlash but she said she would pray for me and with prayers we could both over come it. I took the bold step to tell her that i don't believe in God. She looked at me and said, my confession today to her meant that God wanted to take control of me and she would pray more so that her future husband would be a testimony to god. I was shocked that she didnt rake, complain or act astonished but kept faith in the relationship and after ward, i stood up and told her that i was tired of the relationship and wanted a break up. She changed her counternance and began to ask why i was doing this to her and humilating her. I just walked out and felt like Superman. She ran after me and i just told her to never call me or see me again. Her tears almost affected me emotionally but i just zoomed off without looking back. After the girl broke up with you, you began to dislike yourself. That's why you changed who you are. You went from being a religious respectful guy, to being a jerk. What caught my attention, is the fact that you know full well that you are destroying the women you date, because one pathetic woman, loved you and left. You are very aware of your actions. I do not think that you need help, you just need to decide when you will stop taking your pain out on others and on yourself. You probably care for the woman you spoke of in bold. Unfortunately, she would have to treat you like the crap that you now believe yourself to be in order to hold your interest. You really need to know that you are a wonderful guy, underneath all the drinking and cigarette smoke. Maybe God sent you a beautiful angel, one to help you restore your faith in women, but you just goofed it up. |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by chika98: 5:25am On Dec 06, 2008 |
LoveAlways: Tell him ooh. The guy is just messed up. That is if his story is true anyways. |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by tmoney11(m): 7:58am On Dec 06, 2008 |
If you really understand yourself, people living around you and life it self. you will not have any problem. things will happen that really save you from bad things in future, but we are seeing it as bad. Difficulties Create good opportunity. Use your head bro, think of solution and have it at the back of your mind that you can do it all alone. |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by Nobody: 8:29am On Dec 06, 2008 |
It hurts me when I see and hear of things like this. 1 girl bleeped up, so u make others pay. Is that justice? U need to get over it, call the gal, you have ghosts that need to be taken care of. Everyone has a right to be loved and to love. Dont deny yourself of this and make others miserable. Its a vicious circle, a girl u mess with gets bitter and does that to another guy and it begins all over again. I do hope u can get help. Only you can help urself. 1ce u decide u r fed up, of your lifestyle and the way u treat girls and you are ready to move on. Be easy, |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by Nobody: 10:07am On Dec 06, 2008 |
Adams adams.if my ego was here with me. I would have said you're the man.first before i say what important let tell you something that happened to me. I've had several relationships and breakups, but there was this particular girl i could burn the world for.just like yours she dumped me,cuz her friends felt i wasn't boxed up that much and was a dulling guy.later she went out with some/several paid guys fast forward to today,unfortunately she pregnant for one of them,well she didn't abort it for whatever reason.i saw her with the baby,she couldn't look into my eyes.why so much shame.an normal guy would been glad and happy[revenge].i just told her everything will be alright and left.she choose her path herself. Now back to you,am sorry to say but you're the weakest element.why first you allowed a girl to make you choose a path that's unfavourable.then you question your religion and the worst of all.you took revenge on a girl whose emotions were true.let me tell these.when my ex dumped me.i discovered that the world didn't even stop not even for a second.she broke your heart so what you fucking heal it or get over it.the truth is you're going to live a sad and hollow life.the more power you think you have is the less you have.i think the bitch that dumped you has the whole power.she made you change your orientation,doubt your faith,disregard your standards.damn she got more balls than you. Conclusion you'll grow old alone, unloved and when you die. The world won't stop for a second. One day you'll wake up and not know who you are. @posters this guy is just a f@*king loser simple as that. |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by AdamBrody1(m): 1:29pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
pc guru: You asked me why a girl would choose a path for me and let me question my religion after dumping me. Well despite all your insults guy, i just have one thing to tell you. Ask your self when last you really fell in love with someone and built your world around that person and hoped life wold be so generous to you because you have found your soul mate and you do everything remotely possible to please that person and be the right partner for her, only for her at the dying minute to humilate and kick you out like a dog who has been nothing but loyal to its master. When such a thing happens, you just don't, dust yourself and move on. The whole world becomes another planet to you. All you ever knew would then become abig lie, a sham and something hypocritical. You leave this fake environment and open yor eyes to know that your living in a jungle and either you kill or get killed. It has nothing to do with having more balls than the other, but just being wiser since my eyes where closed before. How do you define and know someone is in love with you and your right for that person. Its all about being faster, smarter and sharper. You are calling me a loser for breaking up with women sporadically but you would be the first to keep quiet if it happens to me again and mock me for being too emotionally attached and i choose to be a good guy again and trust in love again. When your heart broken you begin to question and wonder about things that went wrong and why it went wrong. Unfortunately, Religion was closest to me then and i poured my vexations into it and i realised that was also a sham too. Nothing seemed real and trustworthy anymore! I am just being sharper and faster than them now. Before they pull the plug, i would destroy the house. Its a first come first serve situation. I don't know who is really in love with me and who would end up dumping me for being a mister nice guy. I am way too experienced now to wait for the end result last. Also yor beliefs that i might end up being lonely and sad, is your own opinion. Lonliness is relative and as long as i can still date continiously and change gears every given moment, i would be very happy. The day i become lonley is the date i put my trust and love in the hands of a girl again. Then i know i am doomed for life! Until then, Life can't be sweeter than this for me! 1 Like |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by Nobody: 1:40pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
@ poster try to cook up the story a little better before posting , you know maggi , curry and a dash of salt to taste. let me go back to your story she was a year behind you in school you both talked about marriage after her graduation and even months after then she broke up with you 2 weeks before your graduation now explain to me this Even if you studied a course which was a year more than hers you would have both finished together , since you claim to have discussed with her about marriage months after her graduation you ought to have graduated , ma bad , I forget , you might have had an extra in which case you probably didn't have the good grades and is not the geeky nerd you also claim to be. always remember , details details details when posting on nairaland , some of us don't have better jobs than looking for loop holes in stories 1 Like |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by semidaraeb(m): 2:21pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
@poster dis issue of hurtn girls because of ur x is totally wrong and condemable,there are lots of guys out there who ave had similar experiences but dat didnt make them hurt other innocent girls 4 that, wat u re saym happend 2 me too,but mind u she didnt dump me on val day or anythn of dat sort,she said she wasnt intrestd agan and dat was it all my friends begged ha,but she didnt listen,i stil saw her once in a while and we chat but then i had movd on, i wasnt kepn1 girl again but several, 2years lata we met again and she came back but by then i wasnt intrestd but i kept her and enjoyd myself wel, and when she noticd i dnt cal or go out with ha or pay her attentn she left on ha own,i just found out dis year dat she is marid and already as a baby and leavs 2 strt 4rm my place wth ha husbnd& i dnt feel bad about it wen i se ha i jst smile,we stil talk to&it al looks funy to me cos she says am a playboy who wont settle dwn&i reply by sayn u tut me!if u wnt rveng luk4 ha,wo ha,get ha&Bleep ha sily&dump ha,simple |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by Nobody: 2:36pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
I went out of line by insulting.sorry but,you can't see the world that way.others can't suffer the crime of one person.it's hard letting go,but trust me things get better.ask yourself what if she left you during your wedding day or marriage.even till now i always tell people hatred makes you strong.you can even see it on my signature.but i just say that out of anger or if ego is with me.it's naturally to hurt.but it's unfair to hurt others after for the sake of retaliating. There are bitches and nice girls in this world.not all girls are the same.can't say more my ego is back. Ego:"you lack it". |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by AdamBrody1(m): 6:52pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
@apocalyse Yes i saw the mistake in my write up and i apologise for the mix up despite your feeble attempt of being funny We discussed plans for marriage after her own graduation for months and we always talked about it with delight It should have been (Before) not after, so the errror is regretted and sorry to break your bubble, i graduated with a very very good grade!  @p.c guru Well what you guys are saying is true and i wont deny it but i wish there is a way i can just let go and start all over again. I really dont like myself being a cool guy to this kind of serial dater. Its as if i have something to prove to my conscience but i dont know what it is. Instead of it making me sad whenever i dump a chick, i get estatic and filled with unbridled joy and move on to the next one. I know am addicted to it but every addict surely has a rehab centre or program but i dont know what that is! |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by AuntyMary(f): 7:04pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
@Topic I can relate to you brother cos I am very much like that, i'm too scared of being lulled into a false sense of security then being kicked off the edge, i think my past has left an indelible mark in my subconscious (i've been hurt badly twice) and that's what prompts me to behave like i do once things start getting serious, its almost like reflex action - unplanned, i can be with someone for 2/3 yrs as long as it seems like we are just friends (friends with benefits type arrangement) and they're not telling me they love me or behaving like they cant live without me, once i sense a form of attachment, from me or them, however remotely, i scram, i know i have issues and i have to sort myself out at some point, at the same time, i think it cos the right person hasn't come along yet, so my dear, dont worry jare, keep having fun, when the right girl comes u will be surprised at how easily u commit, no questions asked!  1 Like |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by bluespice(f): 7:17pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
as much as i agree with aunt mary i wouldnt say u should keep on having fun the only person that can stop u is urself its a good thing u know wat ur doing the sad thing however is that it will be too late b4 u decide to stop this habit either way all i can say is i can relate with wat ur saying not going into details but it took me time b4 i decided to stop goodluck man |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by forbidden5(m): 7:22pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
Hello everyone, I am a bit uncomfortable with how everyone is lashing this guy? We quarrel with the Pharisees that wanted to stone a woman caught in adultery. People asked the question, where was the guy? Here a girl+more have dealt with a guy and we blame him. Women make the world a bad place to live. If anyone of you blaming this guy truly loved and was dished, then you can contribute to this topic. I truly agree that when a man meets a woman, approach her as a player until you se she is good. I am a victim of a bad woman and truly at edge with women. I dont believe that women love. My guy, hit as many as you meet especially the bad ones. Play them to their game and dont forget to aim at sleeping with them in the shortest possible time because that is all in this world they have. Women dont love until slept with. Remain in the game but dont throw away your God. I advise you to go back to God. Women are an after thought of creation- they came after God saw something was omitted. Please let us remember they will always act as they did in Eden-eating with the devil. |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by AuntyMary(f): 7:39pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
forbidden5: Forbidden, how old are u  like really 5, 6 yrs old its never okay to 'play' anyone, to make a concerted effort to deceive and take advantage of ppl in any situation, be it romantic, business, academia etc, how u can encourage one to do so and in the same breath urge them to draw nearer God, beats me, did u just finish smoking some weed or what? if u are a believer in the mythical creation story then u will know that God made man and then thought of something better - WOMAN! silly Arrow! |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by lucabrasi(m): 8:01pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
while i wont go into a long litany,my perception of your speech or rantings for want of a better word is that,in spite of the short lived high you feel each time you dump these girls,you still remain unfulfilled and saddened by the actions of the very first girl that dumped you,after the whole revent thing you remain empty and unfullfilled and your niggling conscience looking for an avenue to vent and somehow justify your actions led you to this anonymous virtual portal, you have not asked for advice so ill keep my counsel to myself other than telling you that you are on a self destructive mission |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by smurf1(f): 8:04pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
@OP U seem like a very angry person, well i'll be sure to say a prayer for u tommorow in church, in the mean time, keep ur head up, bruv |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by jgirl3: 8:32pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
If it was the regular j-girl, she would have cursed you by now but I see you're under illusion. How can you get a girl pregnant and not care about your child? Karma is a b***h. What if you now start looking for children when you get married? What you're doing now may seem right but your actions catch up with you eventually. If the first girl you dumped for no reason curses you, it will catch you because God fights for the meek ones.In your own way, you're avenging what the others have done and that's a stupid behavior. I'm going to give you the best advice ever. . . Grow up. When you get tired, you will know what's up. Breaking up with them in public makes you look like a superman . . . yes. But you're a loser who loves to let people down on the inside. If you're not a coward, I dare you to act like the man you're supposed to be. forbidden5:You on the other hand, you are on a very wonderful quality of crack. 1. If women make the world a bad place to live, how did you come into the earth? Or were you born of a man? I guess armed robbers (mostly men) do not make the world a bad place to live. 2. If women don't love, what do you call the things mothers have for their children? hate? 3. Take my advice, grow up! Life is not that hard. 1 Like |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by chamotex(m): 8:45pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
I can't read all this essay |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by jgirl3: 8:47pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
*ehn! Uncle is back? Takes out olofofo journal* |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by chamotex(m): 8:48pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
j-girl: who's ur uncle? wa uncle e lo siwaju mehn! |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by jgirl3: 8:51pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
chamotex:Uncle wa leje. Won ti gba iyawo mo yin lowo |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by chamotex(m): 8:56pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
j-girl: nah mate, if u can read my siggy, im a changed man now |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by ima1(f): 8:57pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
i feel sorry for u because u r still dwelling in the past instead of moving on, its obvious u r still hurting from ur last relationship, getting hurt sucks. i just hope u don't get a sexually trasmitted disease or spread it to those innocent women, who know u might have missed your wife in the process of getting revenge. but as we all know what goes around comes around, hope the kidz don't pay for the sins of the father. but u need to be a man n take care of ur kid asshole. |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by jgirl3: 8:58pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
chamotex:God is good! No more b***es no more hoes. That's good. *puts journal back in purse* |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by Nobody: 8:59pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
j-girl:dnt put it in yet. . . . If a wolf tells you to come down from the tree, will you? Na another style he dey use @post eyah pkele eh  |
| Re: I Have A Very Bad Relationship Habit Am Not Proud Of It But I Can't Help It! by chamotex(m): 9:00pm On Dec 06, 2008 |
j-girl: thank u, hopefully u'll stay away fronm me now |
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