The story I'm about to share here is first hand and real.. Happened to one of my closest pals of 7 years. I'll try as much as possible to make this brief by taking off all the unnecessary details. Please read on..

We all became good friends during our service year back in 2007. Ours was an imaginary clique of big boys and babes (of course in our minds ). The subject of my story met a girl back in camp whom he loved a lot. We all had mad fun back in camp but the story changed when he met this particular one. He chased vigorously after her and when both of them were posted to the same place of primary assignment, they both fell in love and became inseparable. They would do everything and go to everywhere together. In fact they practically became live-in lovers throughout the service year . I had my reservations on the first day I met this babe though, for some reason my spirit just did not approve of her and I discussed this with some of my friends. Well since I wasn't the one involved with her then it's none of my business really. I decided to give my friend the needed 100% support .

Four years down the line after NYSC both of them were still live in lovers here in Lagos. Both of them worked in big companies and were doing fine. As fate would have it some of the old NYSC clique still lived close to each other even here in Lagos. Sometimes this intending couple would visit me and the babe would proceed to the kitchen to fix us some good home made lunch while I discuss work and business with my friend.

One beautiful afternoon we were all together 'gisting' when they broke the good news that they were getting married and I would be their best man. I had to accept theirs even though I had decided not to do the best man thingy anymore. I was very happy for them as I've been expecting the good news. Less than 6 months later they had completed all the traditional marriage rites, together with church and court wedding. This was the beginning of a new chapter in their lives, but a bad one so to say. The wife had always wanted to do her masters degree programme in the UK and both of them had agreed that she would travel a few months after the wedding for her masters. He would visit her as often as he can while they would start a family proper after she returns fully from Jand.

That was the last time he would ever set his eyes on her..

Just 8 Months after she left they started having problems.. The wife was telling the husband to resign his work in Lagos and join her in the UK. The guy thought it that was a joke but she was dead serious. Guy was devastated after she refused to change her mind. This guy then decided to resign and apply for Visa if that would win his wife over. Unfortunately his visa application was denied and there was nothing he could do. We all felt for him. The bigger blow came weeks after when the so called wife instructed the husband to move on with his life as she has decided to go for another Masters upon completing the current one. And that's not all, after the 2 masters degree program she would then go for her doctorate degree. This guy nearly died upon knowing that his wife and best friend of 5 years+ might have played him big time!! She changed her phone number, deleted her FB profile and completely stopped receiving calls from anyone who is not in support of her selfish plans .

Just last month the guy received a divorce letter from his Wife, sent through her mother and below were her reasons for divorcing him:

Reason 1: Irreparable breakdown of communication. According to her they have not communicated since 2012.
This is a blatant lie . The guy had made photocopies of their email correspondence during the first 8 months when the going was good.

Reason 2: There were allegations of Extortion. The Wife had complained in the divorce letter that the guy coerced her into working in the UK so she can be sending him money.
To counter this claim the guy was able to retrieve all the tellers that would serve as proof of all the cash this guy has been sending to this babe. I saw the tellers myself and was shocked to say the least !

Reason 3: Change of matrimonial Home Address. According to the wife, she returned to Nigeria to find that the husband had relocated without letting her know about his new whereabouts. She had to return to the UK after this shocking discovery.
Another lie as the guy has not relocated for the past 4 years he's been working in Lagos .

The guy has been discussing with his Lawyer on whether to let her go without a fight or to counter her claims in court and prolong the whole proceedings. Whatever happens, he has decided to let her go and she's not worth having as a wife (he just realized this). Take note of the following extras:

A. The girl's mum had been a huge cause for concern to this guy from the very beginning. According to him, the girl's mum is both selfish and very demanding. He had to overlook this after the so called wife cajoled him to ignore her mother since he wasn't getting married to her.

B. Talking about physical appearance, the guy is five times finer than the wife. Frankly speaking .

C. The girl's special clique of friends (from her primary school days) is composed of about 6 beautiful Ladies, all over 30 years of age and none of them is married. The last time I spoke to one of the girls who happens to be an old friend, she told me she supported her friend's decision to divorce if that's what she wants .


Nairalanders, apologies for the lengthy epistle and thanks for reading. What is your take on this matter?


##UPDATE AS AT FEBRUARY 2015##

My friend lost his mother earlier this year and as I write, the burial arrangements have been concluded.. The ever caring mother had been thinking a lot about his son, praying and reassuring him that everything will be fine again.. Little did we know that she was preparing to meet with her maker .

My friend met with me last weekend to give me some interesting updates. The pastor of the church where my friend was joined in holy matrimony with his wife suddenly called him that he needed to speak urgently with my friend and pleaded with him to find time and come see him. Upon meeting with the pastor he was given the shock of his life! His wife had been pregnant for someone else all along and had given birth to a baby sometime in November last year in the UK (meaning she got pregnant around February last year). How did the Pastor get to know? My friend's mother in-law came to the church moments back to see the pastor, crying and absolving herself of every guilt. According to her, her daughter in the UK was already depressed, crying that she had messed up her life .

Consequently, the Pastor apologized to my friend for believing his wife and her mother all along without considering his own side of the story. He begged him to return to his church and also pleaded with him not to drag the divorce case with the wife in court as it's not worth the stress at all. Finally, the pastor opened up to my friend on all the allegations laid in the past against him. My friend told me he was so dumbfounded that he immediately went on his kneels, placed a curse on himself if the allegations are true, and then proceeded to place a curse on his wife that she would never find true love again if the allegations are false.

I had to stop my passionate friend and persuaded him to concentrate on giving his late mother a befitting burial and forget about the woman as she's not worth his time and energy.. We had put one plus one together to finally see the reasons why his wife suddenly started misbehaving (late 2013), refused to return to the country, lied against her husband and started the divorce proceedings against him .

Things are indeed happening! I wouldn't have believed this if I hadn't witnessed most of it live..

Let him move on with his life as soon as possible.
With due respect, marriage is not worth dying for.......

hmmmmm!!!!
from what i understand, that lady didn't want the guy from the first day, she just needed him to assist financially so she could travel.
i think the guy should allow her the divorce so he could start his life afresh, if the proceedings are delayed, the guy too cant move ahead. so fashie the babe. she isnt worth your stress.

Bt after all dis there isn't much the guy can do. He has to move on. D babe no worth to die untop mehn. Tho it cld b very disheartening...bt life goes on.
Shit apuns bt God dey

This lady(wife) wasn't ready to be married. Period!!

Thing is - even if she meets another guy, she'll do same. Until, she's psychologically ready to settle-down and be a married woman.

But till then - she's still" man-shopping" and enjoying her life so to say.

I wish your friend great luck.

There is something about UK that I can't seem to understand. This kind of story seems to be the end result of MOST that venture into that geographical location as bf/gf or hubby/wife.

The poor guy shld let go and pursue his career diligently. His happiness is paramount. OP, since you are single, go and stay with him during this trying time. It will boost his Morale

PS- I almost dated a girl with marriage in mind until my close friend told me " his mind doesn't agree with the babe" and I restrained myself for further observation. Alas I saw her true xter soon after. My point? Op shld have told his friend directly his concerns.

The brother man shuld put himself together and move on with his life!
He also shuld b thankful cos God helped him take a scam and impending problem off his head!
She will come begging, but then it will be too late!
He shuld open his eyes and be prayerful next time!

The brother man shuld put himself together and move on with his life!
He also shuld b thankful cos God helped him take a scam and impending problem off his head!
She will come begging, but then it will be too late!
He shuld open his eyes and be prayerful next time he chooses a wife!

Poor dude.

I hope this story has taught everyone one or two lessons. Greedy in-laws would always remain greedy. Never be blinded by love and always make sure you and your spouse are on the same page. In the long run, what is destined to be but wait o, Does the lady thinks settling in London or any part of uk is the main thing? I laugh in Swahili. Some women can be very deceitful and I think the man in question shouldn't bother to drag the matter, let her go.

There are a lot of reasons i do not, i repeat respect any female living in the UK , be them married or not and stories like this tends to make me be a firm believer on my stance.

Years ago, as a student in London. My next door neighbor left her husband in Nigeria to come school in the UK and she moved in with another man who happens to be a barber in the South East part, why? i could never tell. Somebody asked a question that why do females act this way when they are in the UK? and the answer my friend is simple, ACCOMMODATION and MONEY but mostly ACCOMMODATION.

At least 4 Squatted with me at different times, but mostly school mates.( did not take advantage of any)

Until you live in or visit the UK then you will not know what this guys go through just to sleep, and that is why when i see their comments here on NL saying they live in the UK i just laugh, i mean this UK people dey sleep like SARDINE(packed like refugees)in one place.

So, if a lady who usually when they come at first, stay with friends or family(PEOPLE IN THE UK ARE NOTORIOUS FOR NOT LIKING VISITORS WHO STAY FOR LONG) then after sometime, and this usually happens, the host or hostess usually look for reasons to kick them out and the next thing they have no option than to move in with that man that has been toasting them or not, and the husbands in Nigeria are always the last to know.

For the married women in London? don't know if its the cold or because the husbands work 4 jobs, or just even the fact the men cant satisfy the women. But this women love their husbands on one hand and their toyboys on the other hand. There are some party halls on OLD KENT ROAD, not far from the Millwall Stadium where every weekend Nigerians patronize for party, on any given weekend, i promise you that you can go home with two or 3 different Nigerian married women.

And this the OP is sadly the life of Nigerian women living in the UK.

Your friend sadly, should not have allowed his wife to go outside the country for further studies considering the fact she is young, even the older ones still have twitchy private parts, let alone young girls.

3 weeks ago, i visited Nigeria for a business trip and flew locally from Lagos to Port Harcourt. The lady seated close to me looked like she was in her 50's and out of politeness i said hi. She asked me why i did not pray before the flight took off? i told her it does not matter if i pray or not, and that we all will die if the plane crashes anyway, prayers or not.

We started talking as good neighbors and at the end of the flight i got to know she is 62, married, has grown kids and we exchanged contacts, i exchanged contacts with her because she is somehow affiliated with what brought me to Nigeria and i could do with some contacts. But her calls and other conversations for some strange reasons usually gets back to my girlfriends, wives, my bedroom and stuff like that. I get the message, and she is 62 for God sake. She just told me today she is visiting the US next month and so its time for me to CHANGE my number.

That is a 62 year old woman, so imagine what these young married women will do when they are not with their husbands.

moderator front page material abeg.

lafflaff123:
There are a lot of reasons i do not, i repeat respect any female living in the UK , be them married or not and stories like this tends to make me be a firm believer on my stance.

Years ago, as a student in London. My next door neighbor left her husband in Nigeria to come school in the UK and she moved in with another who happens to be a barber in the South East part, why? i could never tell. Somebody asked a question that why do females act this way when they are in the UK? and the answer my friend is simple, ACCOMMODATION and MONEY but mostly ACCOMMODATION.

At least 4 Squatted with me at different times, but mostly school mates.( did not take advantage of any)

Until you live or visit the UK then you will know what this guys go through just to sleep, and that is why when i see their comments here on NL saying they live in the UK i just laugh, i mean this UK people dey sleep like SARDINE(packed like refugees)in one place.

So, if a lady who usually when they come at first, stay with friends or family(PEOPLE IN THE UK ARE NOTORIOUS FOR NOT LIKING VISITORS WHO STAY FOR LONG) then after sometime, and this usually happens, the host or hostess usually look for reasons to kick them out and the next thing they have no option than to move in with that man that has been toasting them, and the husbands in Nigeria are always the last to know.

For the married women in London? don't know if its the cold or because the husbands work 4 jobs, or just even the fact the men cant satisfy the women. But this women love their husbands on one hand and their toyboys on the other hand. There are some party halls on OLD KENT ROAD, not far from the Millwall Stadium where every weekend Nigerians patronize for party, on any given weekend, i promise you that you can go home with two or 3 different Nigerian married women.

And this the OP is sadly the life of Nigerian women living in the UK.

Your friend sadly, should not have allowed his wife to go outside the country for further studies considering the fact she is young, even the older ones still have twitchy private parts, let alone young girls.

3 weeks ago, i visited Nigeria for a business trip and flew locally from Lagos to Port Harcourt. The lady seated close to me looked like she was in her 50's and out of politeness i said hi. She asked me why i did not pray before the flight took off? i told her it does not matter if i pray or not, and that we all will die if the plane crashes anyway, prayers or not.

We started talking as good neighbors and at the end of the flight i got to know she is 62, married, has grown kids and we exchanged contacts, i exchanged contacts with her because she is somehow affiliated with what brought me to Nigeria and i could do with some contacts. But her calls and other conversations for some strange reasons usually gets back to my girlfriends, wives, my bedroom and stuff like that. I get the message, and she is 62 for God sake. She just told me today she is visiting the US next month and so its time for me to CHANGE my number.

That is a 62 year old woman, so imagine what these young married women will do when they are not with their husbands.

The guy should thank his stars and move on. He may throw a liberation party while at it. Congratulations.

This na serious something

I don't see any problems here o.
ANY WOMAN WHO SMELLS THE 'ABROAD' will NEVER MISS ANYTHING ABOUT NIGERIAN LIFE. . . MARRIED OR SINGLE!!!
When MENTALLY-IMPRISONED African women see marriage as the only escape IN NIGERIA ESPECIALLY. . . .This is the END POINT!
It only takes a moment in ANY PART OF THE CIVILIZED WORLD to re-focus on the most important. . . . .YOUR SELF-ESTEEM!

MARRIAGE IS AN ESCAPE ROUTE IN AFRICA ONLY. . . NOT IN A WHITE MAN'S LAND!!!! AMEN!!!!

Who says conditions are permanent in life?
When people fall in love. . . .or so they think, it becomes a condition that never dies?
Ha!

After falling in love. . . YOU HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE THAN TO FALL OUT OF LOVE.

People who start off disliking each other. . . only have one choice. . .TO FALL IN LOVE!

Lessons learned? NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT.
Always have it at the back of your mind that EMOTIONS AND CIRCUMSTANCES will ALWAYS CHANGE FOR THE BETTER OR WORSE!


*THE ONLY REASON THE MAN FEELS BAD IS BECAUSE HE GOT DITCHED FIRST. . . BRUISED EGO*

Oh please! The ability to deal with rejection IS A GREAT HALL MARK OF MATURITY. . . .Tell your friend TO GROW UP AND MOVE ON!!!!

Really sad how it all panned out in the end. But tough as it may seem,the guy should just put it down to sh*t happens,take it on the chin and move on. Might just be the best decision he ever made.

.

Let her move on with her foolishness, he is better off divorced.

I got some issues with this post -

1. Why would the man resign when his visa application has not been granted? Who does that in this age? Even the embassy will tell you not to buy your ticket until your visa is approved.

2. Why would the girl, as smart as she is supposed to be, tell lies that carry no weight and can be easily verified? The one that baffles me most is saying you came to Nigeria to look for him but he had relocated. Isn't that easily verifiable from her passport??

Finding it hard to believe this story!

lafflaff123:
There are a lot of reasons i do not, i repeat respect any female living in the UK , be them married or not and stories like this tends to make me be a firm believer on my stance.

Years ago, as a student in London. My next door neighbor left her husband in Nigeria to come school in the UK and she moved in with another who happens to be a barber in the South East part, why? i could never tell. Somebody asked a question that why do females act this way when they are in the UK? and the answer my friend is simple, ACCOMMODATION and MONEY but mostly ACCOMMODATION.

At least 4 Squatted with me at different times, but mostly school mates.( did not take advantage of any)

Until you live or visit the UK then you will know what this guys go through just to sleep, and that is why when i see their comments here on NL saying they live in the UK i just laugh, i mean this UK people dey sleep like SARDINE(packed like refugees)in one place.

So, if a lady who usually when they come at first, stay with friends or family(PEOPLE IN THE UK ARE NOTORIOUS FOR NOT LIKING VISITORS WHO STAY FOR LONG) then after sometime, and this usually happens, the host or hostess usually look for reasons to kick them out and the next thing they have no option than to move in with that man that has been toasting them, and the husbands in Nigeria are always the last to know.

For the married women in London? don't know if its the cold or because the husbands work 4 jobs, or just even the fact the men cant satisfy the women. But this women love their husbands on one hand and their toyboys on the other hand. There are some party halls on OLD KENT ROAD, not far from the Millwall Stadium where every weekend Nigerians patronize for party, on any given weekend, i promise you that you can go home with two or 3 different Nigerian married women.

And this the OP is sadly the life of Nigerian women living in the UK.

Your friend sadly, should not have allowed his wife to go outside the country for further studies considering the fact she is young, even the older ones still have twitchy private parts, let alone young girls.

3 weeks ago, i visited Nigeria for a business trip and flew locally from Lagos to Port Harcourt. The lady seated close to me looked like she was in her 50's and out of politeness i said hi. She asked me why i did not pray before the flight took off? i told her it does not matter if i pray or not, and that we all will die if the plane crashes anyway, prayers or not.

We started talking as good neighbors and at the end of the flight i got to know she is 62, married, has grown kids and we exchanged contacts, i exchanged contacts with her because she is somehow affiliated with what brought me to Nigeria and i could do with some contacts. But her calls and other conversations for some strange reasons usually gets back to my girlfriends, wives, my bedroom and stuff like that. I get the message, and she is 62 for God sake. She just told me today she is visiting the US next month and so its time for me to CHANGE my number.

That is a 62 year old woman, so imagine what these young married women will do when they are not with their husbands.

you just spoke out my mind bro,bin to europe and SA,things just d same o!the struggle for accommodation no easy at all and d hostility of d residents over there,pretty alarming.me prefer to live like a dog in a jungle than like a lion in a bondaged cage.

lafflaff123:
There are a lot of reasons i do not, i repeat respect any female living in the UK , be them married or not and stories like this tends to make me be a firm believer on my stance.

Years ago, as a student in London. My next door neighbor left her husband in Nigeria to come school in the UK and she moved in with another who happens to be a barber in the South East part, why? i could never tell. Somebody asked a question that why do females act this way when they are in the UK? and the answer my friend is simple, ACCOMMODATION and MONEY but mostly ACCOMMODATION.

At least 4 Squatted with me at different times, but mostly school mates.( did not take advantage of any)

Until you live or visit the UK then you will know what this guys go through just to sleep, and that is why when i see their comments here on NL saying they live in the UK i just laugh, i mean this UK people dey sleep like SARDINE(packed like refugees)in one place.

So, if a lady who usually when they come at first, stay with friends or family(PEOPLE IN THE UK ARE NOTORIOUS FOR NOT LIKING VISITORS WHO STAY FOR LONG) then after sometime, and this usually happens, the host or hostess usually look for reasons to kick them out and the next thing they have no option than to move in with that man that has been toasting them, and the husbands in Nigeria are always the last to know.

For the married women in London? don't know if its the cold or because the husbands work 4 jobs, or just even the fact the men cant satisfy the women. But this women love their husbands on one hand and their toyboys on the other hand. There are some party halls on OLD KENT ROAD, not far from the Millwall Stadium where every weekend Nigerians patronize for party, on any given weekend, i promise you that you can go home with two or 3 different Nigerian married women.

And this the OP is sadly the life of Nigerian women living in the UK.

Your friend sadly, should not have allowed his wife to go outside the country for further studies considering the fact she is young, even the older ones still have twitchy private parts, let alone young girls.

3 weeks ago, i visited Nigeria for a business trip and flew locally from Lagos to Port Harcourt. The lady seated close to me looked like she was in her 50's and out of politeness i said hi. She asked me why i did not pray before the flight took off? i told her it does not matter if i pray or not, and that we all will die if the plane crashes anyway, prayers or not.

We started talking as good neighbors and at the end of the flight i got to know she is 62, married, has grown kids and we exchanged contacts, i exchanged contacts with her because she is somehow affiliated with what brought me to Nigeria and i could do with some contacts. But her calls and other conversations for some strange reasons usually gets back to my girlfriends, wives, my bedroom and stuff like that. I get the message, and she is 62 for God sake. She just told me today she is visiting the US next month and so its time for me to CHANGE my number.

That is a 62 year old woman, so imagine what these young married women will do when they are not with their husbands.

And someone will read this crap and believe this fellow,#sight!

That's is why it's better to travel when you have money,when you don't STAY in Nigeria!

Kimoni:
I got some issues with this post -

1. Why would the man resign when his visa application has not been granted? Who does that in this age? Even the embassy will tell you not to buy your ticket until your visa is approved.

2. Why would the girl, as smart as she is supposed to be, tell lies that carry no weight and can be easily verified? The one that baffles me most is saying you came to Nigeria to look for him but he had relocated. Isn't that easily verifiable from her passport??

Finding it hard to believe this story!

The guy man no get work. The Op no wan talk true. Yeye story.

In sambarry voice

Nextttttt

gidjah:
you just spoke out my mind bro,bin to europe and SA,things just d same o!the struggle for accommodation no easy at all and d hostility of d residents over there,pretty alarming.me prefer to live like a dog in a jungle than like a lion in a bondaged cage.

where in the SA did you live? so if you live in hilbrow,berea or yeoville,you expect a good accommodation ?

Money my friend answers all,when next you travel make sure you have enough money and don't go around expecting people to lodge you.Any where in the world is like that,everyone needs their privacy!

A decent 2 bedrooms flat in a townhouse in Randburg is 3500 Rands,so what is there?

edwife:


And someone will read this crap and believe this fellow,#sight!

That's is why it better to travel when you have money,when you don't STAY in Nigeria!

Yeepa

See as lie just dey flow for him mouth.

lol UK(Ajegunle) women fighting back.

Last post on this thread, make i find lunch go.

Will be in the Netherlands for a conference in some weeks and since i have like 4 days to burn, will jump into the UK for old time sake,and try to take some pictures too to capture the live's you people live there, especially you this ONE ROOM WIVES/BABY MAMA'S.

Peace.

Chillisauce:


Yeepa

See as lie just dey flow for him mouth.

My dear,many come in europe expecting people to accommodate them-living in crowded town,and expect to find a mansion waiting for them...

I repeat it is only when you have paper that life will be beautiful for you,people that pay mortgage are not aliens...

They all want to live in Peckham or kent then they come here to disturb us....
Try North London and you will never want to live elsewhere in London...


Mchewwwwwww

lafflaff123:
lol UK(Ajegunle) women fighting back.

Last post on this thread, make i find lunch go.

Will be in the Netherlands for a conference in some weeks and since i have like 4 days to burn, will jump into the UK for old time sake,and try to take some pictures too to capture the live's you people live there, especially you this ONE ROOM WIVES/BABY MAMA'S.

Peace.

Taaaa! in your dream right!

If you had money,you would have known where the big houses are,but as usual another squatter in the making....dream on!

The pictures your uncle or friends probably took during their struggling visit abroad...

edwife:




My dear,many come in europe expecting people to accommodate them-living in crowded town,and expect to find a mansion waiting for them...

I repeat it is only when you have paper that life will be beautiful for you,people that pay mortgage are not aliens...

They all want to live in Peckham or kent then they come here to disturb us....
Try North London and you will never want to live else where in London...


Mchewwwwwww

The guy hustle no be small. only hustlers will know there fellow hustlers. See his description na. To tell you he suffered well well and thinks all man must have been like him

Chillisauce:


The guy hustle no be small. only hustlers will know there fellow hustlers. See his description na. To tell you he suffered well well and thinks all man must have been like him

maybe he visited his hustler friends that live there for a week and suddenly he's an expert in UK life.

Chillisauce:


The guy hustle no be small. only hustlers will know there fellow hustlers. See his description na. To tell you he suffered well well and thinks all man must have been like him

My dear suffer no be small

See description,chai!walhai this guy na correct Peckam mbeke....

cococandy:
maybe he visited his hustler friends that live there for a week and suddenly he's an expert in UK life.

For where? His own UK story version sef might be from Facebook, nairaland and denied visa application