I woke up this Saturday morning at about 3am. I just couldn’t sleep any more. I tried to force myself to sleep but I couldn’t. It seems heading towards daylight was slow. The time was crawling. I just want to see sunlight. I couldn’t sleep. ‘What should I do now!’ I thought to myself. Well I picked up my phone and began to browse. I checked my facebook messages, I replied the once I could and I moved to twitter to check what was trending. I saw a post by this lady or girl if I should call her that. That was not the first time of seeing her post, and in fact I didn’t know when I started following her till I checked and found out I was following her some few weeks back. Maybe she is one of those girls that buy followers, because sometimes I do notice it. I would be following some strange people but really know when and how I clicked on, “follow” menu.

So when I saw her post I loved it and decided to retweet it. I later sent her a private message complimenting her tweets. I told her it was so inspiring. And guess what! she replied my message. I never knew she would reply because, from her profile and photo, with her large over 15,000 followers, she looked like a twitter celebrity and a big girl. With so many fans retweeting her post.

She thanked me for the compliments and I began to blush. She said she has been following my tweets. I was happy that I had met a new friend on twitter. I was happy that a twitter Celeb replied my message and complimented me.

Two days later I tweeted at her again and she replied. And it began. That was where we started exchanging regular messages. We started chatting and sending each other private messages. At first I was scared to push it further to the next level but later, I summoned the courage to ask for her BB pin. She gladly gave it to me. We chatted for some couple of days and we exchanged mobile numbers. I invited her to come over to my place this particular weekend.

When she arrived she called me to come pick her up from the car park. I was happy that I was going to meet this sweet girl I was chatting with for over 1 month. I arrived the car park and behold this fine chick I was fantasizing about. This girl was so gorgeous, her looks like that of halle berry, she has this drop dead gorgeous smile that can make any fall for her with a nice dimples, I hugged her so hard that I nearly kissed her in public. I took her straight as we headed home. Right from when we were in the park I don even dey imagine wetin I go do to that her fine body for my bed. I never knew that I was thinking of how to bring problem upon myself.

We got home, I brought out some wine and beverages I bought and we drank. She only with just a moderate sized pulse or bag if I will call it because she only brought along with her a towel and just 3 clothes, a pair of female trouser and 2 tops. We enjoyed our weekend, it was fun and lovely. On Monday morning I was so happy that I have won, she was to leave to her base that morning so I waited for her to prepare and leave before I leave for work. After getting ready, I gave her some cash while I drove her to the park. Immediately I dropped her I off I left. After preparing myself to go to work I heard a knock on my door, I opened it and behold it this girl. She just entered; I thought I dropped her off at the park! I was trying to ask her why she came back but she ignored me as she badged into my sitting room and straight to my bedroom. I followed her immediately to know what she was doing. As I was trying to enter my bedroom to know what she was looking for, she just came out holding a female pant on her left hand. She said she forgot that her pant. Was that what she came to back to collect and I was asking her but she ignored me. I was just looking at her as she was leaving, I called her and ask if she didn’t forget any other thing, she was like “was I chasing her out of my house”. See me see wahala oooooo, na me get my house nah, mission is completed why is she coming back again. I told her I wasn’t chasing her but I was running late to work and want to make sure she wasn’t forgetting any other stuff. You need to see how her face changed after I made that statement. Her faced looked like that of mama iyabo in my village. That mama iyabo has so many wrinkles and when she laughs, she looks like tamed demon. That was how this chick’s face looked when I told her I was going to work and I want to shut my door. She finally left “thank baba Jehovah”. Immediately she left I went to my bedroom to check if she didn’t put any voodoo or juju in my house. I searched my bedroom and almost the whole house to make sure my house is free from any juju if she brought one. I regretted it because I went to work late.
http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/959-the-strange-girl-i-met-on-twitter

Two weeks later on this Thursday evening, I just returned back from work, I was watching channel enjoying my music, a bottle of canned malt and popcorn. I heard a knock on my door, I opened the door and behold it was this strange girl. In my mind I was like “ I thought our business is finished.’ Na wetin she come dey find for my house again chineke zopu ta kwa nnwai oooo, Baba God deliver your pikin ooo. She was carrying a big travelling bag as if she was going to visit her sugar daddy. I asked her what the problem was, and she said I should just allow her to come in first. She came in with her bags and sat down. In my mind I was thinking, ‘hope she is not using scope for me. To come and start staying with me. She sat down and started telling me cock and bull story. How she came for a seminar and she was short of cash and her hotel fees got expired and she had no place to go to in this city. See me see wahala oooo. You are going for a seminar and you didn’t prepare yourself, she just came empty handed believing that God has already provided angel like me that she will stay in my house. She said she will like to stay with me till Saturday when the seminar would finish. I agreed and I took her to the guest room. She said why can’t I allow her to stay in the same room with me. I told her she was just a guest. She screamed, “a guest”. But what is she, landlord or caretaker! She be guest,’ I said on my mind. I didn’t bother to reply to any other things she was saying, I took her bags and baggage to the guest room and went to the parlor to continue my movie. She took her bath and later joined me. Before she joined me, I had a rethink about my attitude because I shouldn’t even treat her that way. Come to think of it, I didn’t even have any company who will keep me warm for the two days she would be staying; she will definitely make a great company considering that she’s beautiful and has the right shape. Even though I told myself I was going to eat the apple once those few weeks ago. ‘I could still taste it again,’ I thought to myself. I decided to make it right for her to allow me taste the apple.

When she joined me, I apologized for being rude to her when she first came in. I gave her some excuses that my boss annoyed me that was why my mood was like that. I talked and begged, for a moment her face changed and she smiled. She actually bought the lies and the excuses I gave. I also asked her to pack her bags and move into my room.

The next day she had already woken up before me, she had already washed some of my dirty clothes, even when I didn’t ask her. When I woke up I went to the toilet to urinate. I found out that the bathroom and the toilet were looking cleaner. All the dirty dishes I used for days that I dumped in the kitchen, she washed them all. I went to the sitting room, you need to see the way she crossed her legs on my chair as if she was the owner. She was watching African Magic channel. I went to her and thanked her for the work she did. At least she saved me some little energy even though she was sitting like chiefoo of my house. We talked some few minutes. She told me she was once married when she was in 200level, though her parents pushed her into the marriage due to financial problems of the family and the man she was married to was a jerk and an unfaithful bigot. She never told me all these the first time she visited me oooooo. I asked her what happened to the marriage. She said that she couldn’t take it anymore because she was being physically and emotionally abused. And she finally had a divorce. After all the stories, I felt pity for and encouraged her. But still, I wasn’t comfortable with her coming back. Though I enjoyed her company the previous night.

Rescheduled day she said was the seminar came. We prepared, I told her I would drop her off at the hotel she said the seminar would hold. We prepared and I made sure I locked my house door very well before we left the house and I dropped her at the hotel before leaving for my office.

At 09:12 am, just about 45minutes I got to my office. My guest called to tell me that the organizers of the seminar has postponed it again. Na so me sef come dey wonder the kind waka wey this girl waka come. She said she’s at my office gate and I should come give her my house key. Na so fear come catch me. How would I just give a total stranger my house key. Infact I no even know her plans. E fit be say dem don even finish the seminar and she wan go back, she wan use style steal something for my house. so many thoughts began to wonder on my mind within 30 seconds. Shey make I give her or not.’ I told her I won’t give her. Before I knew what was happening, she came straight into my office building. He told people I was her fiancé and she was there to see me. na so we start to dey argue untop my own thing ooo. Untop my own house key. She was about to start a scene. I didn’t want to get a query. The last two I had gotten was less than a week and it was women matter. I had no choice but to give her the key and she left. I took permission by an hour later and rushed home to check if my property was still intact. When I got home, I met the shock of my life. This girl, messed up my parlor and bedroom. When I came into the parlor, everywhere was scattered. My TV was not where it was when I left it. The chairs were turned upside down. It just looked as if arm robbers ransacked the house. This girl cook 3 packs of hungry man size of indomie noddles. After chopping the thing, he left the pot on my bed in the bedroom. The whole kitchen was messed up with 4 bottles of juice littered on the floor. Even though say na glutton, shey e go chop wetin this girl they chop. Me come dey para for the girl. She dey inside my room just balance on top bed dey chop indomie. The way this thing is going, she may finish the whole drinks in my fridge. I told her to pack her things and leave. She started crying and pleading. But I no gree ooo. When she found out I wasn’t moved by her tears. She became stubborn that she was not leaving. Na so I grab her to push her outside. Na so she no gree. She ran through the kitchen door with the house keys. My Oga in the office had already started calling me. he had already told me we were going somewhere by 1pm, and it was 12:35pm. I began chasing this girl inside the compound ooo. I found out I can’t do it. I had to leave back to the office till I came back.
http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/959-the-strange-girl-i-met-on-twitter

I was at the function with my boss when I brought out my phone and checked twitter. This girl don already update her status for twitter. “Oh dear, am purging, God save me,” was what she wrote. Trust guys na, many people don dey tweet back dey offer advice. I tweeted at her, “leave my house before I get home.” She retweeted the tweet. One girl come ask her who I be. “never mind him, he’s the son of the fish seller that poisoned my fish, making me purge.” Chaii, see insult. Na wetin she tell them say I be. Come see as people they abuse me for twitter. I ignored her.

After the day’s work, I went home. I met another shock. Everywhere in the house were well swept and clean as if nothing happened some hours ago. I saw her in my bedroom. No matter what, I still want her out of my house. I asked her to leave. She begged me. she went on her knees begging but I didn’t care. Well, she agreed to leave but asked to leave the next day. I be no gree but the beg come too much and I agreed.

In the night, we didn’t sleep in the same room. The next morning when I woke up, I went to the guest room to check her. The room was locked from inside. I knocked multiple times and there was no response. Make una come see me see wahala ooo. She no wan open door. I called her name and no response. I became scared. Many thoughts began to run through my mind. Maybe she’s dead, or maybe she has turn to a big snake and if I should enter, she may swallow me. As I was thinking about that, another thought came into my mind. Maybe she and her witchcraft group are performing rituals. Na so I call my friend, joe that morning. He arrived. He brought olive oil with him. We began breaking the door. We broke it open and found her lying on the bed like a sleeping angel. But she wasn’t breaking. “God don catch me,” I thought to myself. We began hitting her but she didn’t wake up. We poured her water but no response. How would I explain this situation! That a girl that visited me died in my house. who will believe my own side of the story. Joe asked if I gave her anything to eat, but I told her I didn’t. We tried reviving her but couldn’t. Joe suggested we report to the police first before taking her to the hospital. But I told her that would be deadly. “Maybe she be imere,” joe said. I don’t know if I should shout for my neighbors to come help. Which kind sleep be this one wey person sleep, she no dey breath. She was not responding. joe said I should wait that he has a doctor friend. He called her. As we were waiting for her to come, both us began to pray.

30minutes later still waiting for the Doctor. I was full of fear. As we were walking around the room praying, we heard her laughing. Na so we open eye see her they look us they laugh. “What are you people doing,” she said. I couldn’t talk. I was speechless. I no even fit go meet her sef. Na joe go meet her come touch her. He asked her what went wrong. “I was sleeping nah. And you people poured me water,” she said. wetin we for do! Make we for pour her hot fire abi! I asked if she was okay. She said she was alright. I come dey fear to tell her to pack her things leave. I fit tell her to pack her things and leave, she go come enter coma wey she no go wake again.

That morning, she took her bath, packed her things and left. I was so happy that I was free. I went to work late. I was at my place of work when my colleague called that someone was downstairs looking for me. I went down and it was the girl. She said she wasn’t going again and that she was back. “Back for what. Not in my house,” I said. ahe laughed and said she wasn’t going anywhere and I should give her my key. Chaii, na dis one I come enter! Before I knew what was happening, this girl began to make a scene there. I was scared and afraid but wasn’t ready to give my key nor allow her into my house because I don’t want any wahala. my colleagues came out to know what was happening. She told them that she was a prostitute and that I slept with her and refused paying. As we were arguing, my boss came down and called the security to throw us outside. People started telling me to pay her but I refused. Many didn’t believe my own side of the story. My boss came out and asked me to pay, but I refused. I no fit pay. She lied against me. she refused to leave and was still making a scene which was becoming embarrassing for our office. One of my colleagues brought out N17,000 and gave to her and she left. Na so my quarry come increase for office. I don’t know whether to laugh that I was free from this strange girl I met on twitter or to cry that I was at the verge of losing my job.

http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/959-the-strange-girl-i-met-on-twitter

Well here in syria where am learning Terrorism 101 we dont follow girls on twitter,we add them on 2go.

Junk

Hilarious

Hmmmm this is the first story I actually finished , twale bros but if this ur story is real I ve to tell u, u re living on A FAST LANE bcarful b4 u get crushed,stick to one gal pls or go and marry

**Reading**
I believe the moral lesson of this story is:
Never take advantage of a lady for your own home pleasure. You can't just sleep with someone and expect things to remain as if nothing happens. What ever you do, be prepared to face the consequences.






You can't have your cake and eat it.

Na tin wey u sabi shop won kill u na!

Whewww! Nice Story,Nice Concept!! But I took my time to finished your story with summary. Congratulations!! This what I have to tell You Bruh! You not free Yet bruh..She's still coming back for you with a full force. Locate her first and beg her before she........

What are the Lessons learnt

hahaha

Sankabson:
Whewww! Nice Story,Nice Concept!! But I took my time to finished your story with summary. Congratulations!! This what I have to tell You Bruh! You not free Yet bruh..She's still coming back for you with a full force. Locate her first and beg her before she........

come back! Thats what a friend said. I will prepare for her

Hahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahhah;guy you no b correct man(why dint you call all your Male friends,by the time una tell her say na RAPE or one tin or the oda)only she go waka go

Great story!! Love the concept. This shii just made my morning a lil bit less miserable

OP are you for real?!!!

Wow!

She is definitely coming back!! I swear...

@onismate big bro, don't you know if a girl moves in on you domestically, she wants you for keeps

So u really expected me to read this?where did u copy this story from?

FLAWLES:
Hahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahhah;guy you no b correct man(why dint you call all your Male friends,by the time una tell her say na RAPE or one tin or the oda)only she go waka go

Idea! but wicked...

Op.....can u gv me her twitter handle

Abeg who get Desmond Elliot number oh? Wan tell am say script don dey make he use am do nollywood blockbuster

Lol, konji na bastard!

Xsenga

This is definitely the most funiest story have ever read on nairaland
@op ama follow you ok so follow back


Have been in a similar situation b4 but my own no conk like this

sometimes this pipu dey do like say them possess,op na u do yourself

FLAWLES:
Hahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahhah;guy you no b correct man(why dint you call all your Male friends,by the time una tell her say na RAPE or one tin or the oda)only she go waka go

i enjoyed your story