I am one of those men that will be marrying late, at least, by societal standards. That, of course, means I am in my mid-thirties. But I do not have any regrets. I have become well cooked. Would I have been happy if I had gotten married when most of my friends did between the ages of 26 and 30? Yes I would have been happy. I always said this joke of how I don’t want to be taking my kids to school and their friends will be asking them if I was their grandpa. Hehehe! Well, that’s life.

However, waiting this long has been more than worth it. I could have been married at 30. But then I realized I had not truly discovered myself. Why find a wife when I was yet to find myself? So I decided to find myself, first.

I wanted to find myself, first, so my wife will know what she will be getting into when we get married. I want her to meet me doing what I will be doing for the rest of my life. It was what my mom met my dad doing that he did till he retired. I think I like that. I once heard of a lady who married a musician and everything was very good until the musician woke up one morning and said he wanted to be a pastor. She screamed, "Chisus!" That was the beginning of their problems. I hear they have been long divorced. Please don't quote me. I don't know how true the story is.

Anyway, now that I have found myself I think I can tell you what you will be getting into when we get married if we get married.

1. I am a very selfish person. I am not interested in saving the world. I am not one of those people with a grand vision to save the world. Like if they die the world will stop rotating. I am only interested in saving myself. Well, since we will become one after marriage, I guess that includes you. Then we can talk about the rest of the world.

2. Three things drive me: Freedom, Meaning, and Money. These three elements must be present in everything I do - It must not rob me of my freedom; it must be adding value to someone else; and I must make profit out of it. But if I have to prioritize then it must also be in that order. I will sacrifice money for meaning, and sacrifice meaning for freedom. Did I remember to tell you that I am a selfish person?

3. Don't ever expect that I will become one famous person that will make the ladies gasp for breath and say, "Dear God" when they see me, and start asking for my autograph. Yes, my name will be famous because of what I do. But physically, I will not. I will be that guy that will walk into a room, filled with people talking about me and they will not know that I am right there in their midst. With me, fame is fickle and awards mean nothing. But, of course, I would love to see you, my darling, become a Doro Mega Super Star.

4. Okay, you may or may not like this but I think you deserve to know up front. Don't worry; nothing is wrong with that department, so calm down. Hehehe! Having been driving for quite a while, something happened and I had to resort to public transport for a few weeks. Aside from those one or two days when the car will be with the mechanic, that was the longest time I had to go without a car. So, once again, I started jumping buses.

Initially, the experience was not pleasant until I found a way to make something good out of it. Throughout the few weeks I did this I paid the fares of students and senior citizens that happened to be in the bus with me (working class can take care of themselves). Believe me, it felt heavenly to see people who don't know me and may never see me again for the rest of their lives become happy over a N100 fare that I paid for them.

So I have decided that I will continue with this. Even after we get married, two months out of every year, I will do that. I will leave my car at home (of course, you can keep using yours) and go with public transport for 30 days at a stretch so I can pay the fares of students and senior citizens. I also want to feel the pulse of the people. I hope you can cope with the smell that implies I will be coming back home with at the end of the day.

5. Finally, you do know that even roses have thorns; I want you to see this as the thorn. Even though I don't like it and I really, really, pray it never comes to this, I want to let you know that for me divorce is an option. Yes! I said it. But in case you missed it the first time let me say it in caps, DIVORCE IS AN OPTION. There are many things we don't like yet we do them if it becomes necessary. So is divorce to me. I don't like it but I'm ready to go through it if it becomes necessary.

If you push me to the point where I become certain that staying married to you will drive me insane and make me end up in hell, sorry love, I’ll rather I divorced you and made heaven with a sane mind. But like I said, I don't like it and I pray it never gets to that. But I believe it is only fair that I be open with you from the start so you know what you are getting into and make an informed decision.

So, now that you know what you will be getting into I hope you can still find it in your heart to love me and that we will make a wonderful couple, God helping us. Amen! But please before I take my leave can you answer the following questions for me?

1. Have you found yourself?
2. That guy or lady you are currently dating or married to. Can you really say he/she has found him-/herself?

Please let me know when you place your comment. Believe me, these are questions you don't want to leave unanswered.

Thank you.

As always,
The one whom Jesus loves,
Mute Efe.

Talk2Mute:
BB PIN: 2BC01D81
Twitter: @Mute_Efe
Mobile: 08038749796
Email: mute.efe@gmail.com
Facebook: facebook.com/mutehimself

Please Read This:
If you want to become deliberate in your personal development then you should subscribe to Mute’s Notes. It is exclusively for people that are seriously interested in their personal development. We will be together in a closed group and two articles will be published monthly. There will be group discussions on the articles and group live chat sessions with me. Subscription is for 6 months.

To subscribe:
1. Pay N3,000 (before December 31) to:
Personal Leadership Resources
Guaranty Trust Bank Plc.
0160822431
(From January it will be N5,000)

2. Send an SMS in the format below to 08038749796
MN * Surname * First Name * Facebook Name * Email * GSM No.
After your payment is confirmed you will be invited into the group via the Facebook name you stated in the SMS.

Thank you.