| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Drone007: 3:14am On Jan 05, 2015 |
miredia:
I strongly believe she doesn't want him dead, perhaps divorced. She wants him submissive to her will and most likely a penchant for subtle promiscuity which his presence stalls. Spot on![b][/b] |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by ezemacleo: 3:20am On Jan 05, 2015 |
My humble advice is, if you have a friend living far from you, go and be staying with him. Stay 2 days in your house and 5 days with your friend. Ask your mum to go. Choose Tuesday and Thursday and come back to your house but change it the upcoming week. Gradually rent a house say self contain. You can be talking with her but don't get lost. Always buy your baby's things like clothes, diapers, soap, etc. When you carry your baby, call her your bundle of joy in her face. stop eating at home. buy a bottle of dry gin so that when you are getting home you tap small so that your mouth will smell Kai Kai at home. pretend a call while at home that you are not coming back after which you will leave. Let her not predict you. Do this for 4 months before leaving properly. |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by tunde1200(m): 3:34am On Jan 05, 2015 |
I support this advise ifyalways:
You knew her kind of person yet you went ahead and married her. I'm sure alot of people advised you against marrying her then but you ignored them. Dear, you've made your bed, relax and enjoy or endure it.
I suggest you pray and fast, start with like 21 days fasting, report her to your pastor if the fasting thing does not work. Nothing impossible with God. Sorry dear  |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by tunde1200(m): 3:39am On Jan 05, 2015 |
Nice one... Jare. Glocal1:
A need to call on d elders' council of both families to intervene. Religious leaders can also be engaged to do some sort of reconciliation between u both. I'll like to ask if u ever cheated on her or did some other tinz that elicited such attitude from her. Divorce is not an option, God detests divorce. I av seen similar n even worse situations resolved. U av to lay aside ur ego, put on a forgiving n forgetting spirit. Women can be at times difficult, u r d head n its a trying time for u to exhibit d maturity n grace bestowed on u to run ur home. I wish u d very best. |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Nobody: 3:48am On Jan 05, 2015 |
You are still living with someone who threatened to kill you?  biko stay away from that woman if you still value your life 1 Like |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by mystiqueDZ(f): 4:11am On Jan 05, 2015 |
Dragonking:
Is that all you have to say You ladies, especially on NL are very wicked and evil...if the story was about how the husband beats or abuses the wife you all come out and spew trash, now the story is the other way round and you are here making silly statements.... mtchhhheeeewwww. A LADY does not turn trashy overnight!A LADY knows the difference between venting her anger and cursing you.... From op's story, his wife couldn't have changed all of a sudden unless his own wickedness triggered... Bye! |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Nobody: 4:25am On Jan 05, 2015 |
H Rep042:
My marriage is just 1 year and few days old,but within the last 365 days,I have seen torment and hell on daily basis. We dated for 2 years before tying the knot,she's a nice person,but her mouth is destructive,she has this overbearing attitude,always trying to control me or dictate the pace,and can keep malice,anger and record of evil done to her for a long time. She's the type of person that talks very well,I mean convincely well,but unfortunately,she speaks more negative words. She can talk for hours non-stop,especially when provoked,saying all sorts of bad words.
She has threatened to kill me & send assassins after me on different occasions in the past,though I just ignored such threats.
My wife has been abusing me verbally and always say nasty things at every slightest provocation and at the same ready to engage me in fisticuffs.
She can really say unprintable words such as "it will not be well with you","as you go out,people will deal with you", "you will work like an elephant and eat like an ant", "this your certificate will never yield you any good thing", etc, name callings,abuses,curses etc.
Please Nairalanders, I will like to know if it is wrong or out of place for a working class married lady to assist her husband in paying some bills or buying some foodstuffs at home. Because,anytime she assists in doing anything,she will record it and consequently use that to abuse and insult me whenever we have misunderstanding and or exchange of words.
After our traditional marriage on December 2013,I had some financial challenges,and then my rent was due for renewable,she offered to assist,at first I was skeptical about it ,because I know her kind of person,knowing full well that she will use that to ridicule and abuse me in no distant time. But,then,I didn't have any alternative,so I allowed her pay d rent. Now,she's claiming ownership,saying ..."which house,the one that I have been paying the rent or another one"...
She has done a lot of character assassination & damages to my personality before some of her relatives & family members(Her father and two sisters),thus they all support her & no longer regard me as anybody.
Few months into our marriage,she started wearing butt pads, I told her to stop ,because I don't like the stuff,but she flared up and we had exchange of words. She told me that she has to look good to outsiders.
Throughout her pregnancy period,she wore the butt pads on daily basis even at home,I allowed her because of her condition,even though it looked disgusting on her. After she put to bed,and few days later, I told her to quit wearing that stuff, but she refused,then I seized it,she started ranting to the hearing of everyone at home & neighbors that I have taken her padded pants(aka butt pad) to native doctor. I just ignored her. Few days later, she bought another set.
On Xmas day(2014),she dressed up & wore the butt pads again,I told her to remove it ,but she refused,then i tried forcing her to do so,and that resulted to a serious fight. She tore my already ironed clothes to pieces(an expensive Indian attire I bought when I travelled to India),I tore hers too and forced the butt pads out from her body.
Hell was let loose that day,because she called her sisters,they came to my house and created a very nasty scene in my neighborhood,they insulted,ridiculed me and made a mockery of me,her elder sister who is a police officer threatened to deal with me,she was talking and hitting her hands on the ground saying that,they are going to teach me some bitter lessons in this town. I tried to respond but my Mum,who's on child's visit(Omugwo) asked me to hold my peace. It wasn't easy though,they also insulted her too.
Since that day till date,my wife doesn't talk to me. The only thing that connects us now is the new born baby.
Her words have actually killed me psychologically, emotionally etc, to the extent that sometimes, I loose consciousness of my surrounding while driving to and fro from work , I will be lost in thought, and on a particular occasion nearly rammed another moving vehicle,if not for the speed bumps on the road that awaken my consciousness.
Her words:"if you are still regarding me as your wife,then you wasting your time". Its obvious she wants a divorce because to her,she's still very young(28 years),and can easily move on. She doesn't give a damn.
She has also repeated that same threat of killing me,these days ,the number of calls entering her phone is amazing,most times,she goes far from the house to answer those calls.
Please,kindly advice me.
Thank you. R.I.P my friend, nairaland will surely miss you  1 Like |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by ChynoBEATS: 4:28am On Jan 05, 2015 |
coogar:
your wife wore bütt-pads while she was pregnant? to impress who?
who are the parents raising these brainless bimbos? before separation, you need to have a word with her parents. I totally agree with u on'a basis of immediate alacrity ..... Without 2nd thoughts of it |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by onasa28(m): 5:13am On Jan 05, 2015 |
Bros... Look for a place to stay for now.. I like u and I don't want u to kill ur wife or ur wife to kill u. Two of you need counseling either from your pastor or a psychologist.. Bro u need give ur life to Chrst and that of ur wife. Life without Christ is equal to crisis.. Invite Jesus to ur home and everything gonna b calm. Shalom. 1 Like |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Galaxydon1(m): 5:15am On Jan 05, 2015 |
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| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by ChynoBEATS: 5:33am On Jan 05, 2015 |
Rep042:
My marriage is just 1 year and few days old,but within the last 365 days,I have seen torment and hell on daily basis.
Just a year in N she's acting like this ......... Hmm ...... I smell some spirits in this issue .............
[quote author=Rep042 post=29484806]
We dated for 2 years before tying the knot,she's a nice person,but her mouth is destructive,she has this overbearing attitude,always trying to control me or dictate the pace,and can keep malice,anger and record of evil done to her for a long time. She's the type of person that talks very well,I mean convincely well,but unfortunately,she speaks more negative words. She can talk for hours non-stop,especially when provoked,saying all sorts of bad words. Hmm ........ N u just look @her while she's spitting out words sporadically without doing nothing? ........ Rep042:
She has threatened to kill me & send assassins after me on different occasions in the past,though I just ignored such threats. Hmm mxcheew na wash ....she's jst talking outta anger ........ It's normal its just an act of filling up the gap with words due 2 anger...... Rep042:
My wife has been abusing me verbally and always say nasty things at every slightest provocation and at the same ready to engage me in fisticuffs. Hmm guy's dis your matter needs thorough Counseling O.... Just a year in2 d marriage ... She's trying to dominate n suppress you ... Hmm .... Guy wch church you dey go self??.......... Cos I won't be happy if your pastor haven't been told about this Rep042:
She can really say unprintable words such as "it will not be well with you","as you go out,people will deal with you", "you will work like an elephant and eat like an ant", "this your certificate will never yield you any good thing", etc, name callings,abuses,curses etc. Imagine A wife laying curses On her Husband .... Marital taboo ........ JESUS Eh! .... Guy ur own done finish O..... Are you sure she's nt being controlled by a spirit ... Rep042:
Please Nairalanders, I will like to know if it is wrong or out of place for a working class married lady to assist her husband in paying some bills or buying some foodstuffs at home. Because,anytime she assists in doing anything,she will record it and consequently use that to abuse and insult me whenever we have misunderstanding and or exchange of words. Well currently ...... I heard that my neighbors wifey has been doing Sometin remarkable ... Cus 4d past 1 year she hz been catering 4her family ... n she Even paid their tenement fee self nobi say her husband no dey o..buh work don spoil some how 4am...n he's job is seasonal ... ..... I knw it's fully wrnq to do so Completely...buh in your case ... She ought 2 help out "sheybi Una 2 say 4better 4worse " abi Una no do white wedding??...... Rep042:
After our traditional marriage on December 2013,I had some financial challenges, Hmm Financial challenges ..... Hmm ... N I can sence that it's still going On ...... Chai! Chai! bros ... Y'u dey dull urself lyk this ......... Can't you see ni??..... Must they tell u that something is behind this Downgrade ..b4 u'll knw.......  n y did u do such stuff in'a big way ..shey u forget say people must envy u 4 igboland??..... Pls go n seek 4intervention o....... Infact go2 l!berat!on M!n!stries ..... 4 deliverance Choi! Dem don strt work 4ur head o.... Rep042:
she offered to assist,at first I was skeptical about it ,because I know her kind of person,knowing full well that she will use that to ridicule and abuse me in no distant time. But,then,I didn't have any alternative,so I allowed her pay d rent. Now,she's claiming ownership,saying ..."which house,the one that I have been paying the rent or another one"... Hey JESUS ..... Nawa O ..... The one I've been paying the rent .. I hope say she no pay pass one's Something is pushing this ur wife O....... Guy be smart O..... Doom is Looming around.... Act fast N avoid it O.... They're trying to make life Unbearable 4u ..... Rep042:
She has done a lot of character assassination & damages to my personality before some of her relatives & family members(Her father and two sisters),thus they all support her & no longer regard me as anybody. ..... (In mummy p's voice ) Chai chai chaai! Hmm ok ... Continue N u've been looking n enduring this spiritual attack on U... Na Onle u waka Come Rep042:
Few months into our marriage,she started wearing butt pads, Wearing butt pads Lwkm o... A persons wife wearing butt support  .. W-S-N-E Rep042:
I told her to stop ,because I don't like the stuff,but she flared up and we had exchange of words. She told me that she has to look good to outsiders. So she's trying to impress outsiders ...... Something is really wrong here ....... How can a wife try2 impress outsiders with but pads .... ... Hmm ... SoOooo she's advertising an already sold market abi ..... Ok continue Rep042:
Throughout her pregnancy period,she wore the butt pads on daily basis even at home,I allowed her because of her condition,even though it looked disgusting on her. After she put to bed,and few days later, I told her to quit wearing that stuff, but she refused,then I seized it,she started ranting to the hearing of everyone at home & neighbors that I have taken her padded pants(aka butt pad) to native doctor. I just ignored her. Few days later, she bought another set. Wearing it through out her pregnancy period n she Even bought anoda set wen u seized it......... Choi! ...... I smell something fishy ..... She doesn't even respect U'sef ...... this Love has gone wrong ...... Rep042:
On Xmas day(2014),she dressed up & wore the butt pads again,I told her to remove it ,but she refused,then i tried forcing her to do so,and that resulted to a serious fight. She tore my already ironed clothes to pieces(an expensive Indian attire I bought when I travelled to India),I tore hers too and forced the butt pads out from her body. Lol.... Dude so u've been going through this since n u've been trying to solve this issue on ur own by acting like her....... Mxcheew stop being a sissy jor :-/ Rep042:
Hell was let loose that day,because she called her sisters,they came to my house and created a very nasty scene in my neighborhood,they insulted,ridiculed me and made a mockery of me, Shame on U 2 for trying to sort out such issue in such manner...... :-/ ure a man for crying out loud.... She tore ur cloth n u tore hers too .. That's childish u knw .... U should hv kindly sat @home .. N decide 2go nowhere Rep042:
her elder sister who is a police officer threatened to deal with me,she was talking and hitting her hands on the ground saying that,they are going to teach me some bitter lessons in this town. Hmm Female police officer....... I'm 99% sure that she's just an ordinary school cert grad Cos her character show's it all ....... Rubbish .... See the family wey u sef go marry urself put  ........... They'all Lack manners ..... 4rm number1 to the last one @home Rep042:
I tried to respond but my Mum,who's on child's visit(Omugwo) asked me to hold my peace. It wasn't easy though,they also insulted her too. yeah just hold ur peace ........mum is right ... Cos ure now a disgrace .... Jeee'z accept ur defeat lyk a man ..... N plan 4the next day of battle .... Rep042:
Since that day till date,my wife doesn't talk to me. The only thing that connects us now is the new born baby. Hmm.. B4 nko .... She'll definitely keep malice .... Women'll go4 dat one nw ...its their natural instinct of silent punishment ....... Nna file 4a divorce n fight 4d custody of your child....since you'on know GOD ...... You're just Going through this Marital derailment without calling On GOD ..... Weldone it shall be well ok .... mumu ....annu'Mpama kii bu lekwa this man o ... So Kengbe ifaa neMe ichefuri CHineke ino la'nga Ne Be'akwan Ma'la Onye fure'Fu Mxcheew .... Rep042:
Her words have actually killed me psychologically, emotionally etc, to the extent that sometimes, I loose consciousness of my surrounding while driving to and fro from work , I will be lost in thought, and on a particular occasion nearly rammed another moving vehicle,if not for the speed bumps on the road that awaken my consciousness. Stop being weak my friend ........ N act like a man ........ Na'so u go just die troway dis jan 2015 werey oshi Rep042:
Her words:"if you are still regarding me as your wife,then you wasting your time". Its obvious she wants a divorce because to her,she's still very young(28 years),and can easily move on. She doesn't give a damn.
...... Mxcheew ... Story 4d gods ................ Y won't she say such when u've sold urself out Rep042:
She has also repeated that same threat of killing me,these days ,the number of calls entering her phone is amazing,most times,she goes far from the house to answer those calls. O.o ..... Smh ..... Na today ....... Rep042:
Please,kindly advice me.
Thank you. . Go n seek for GOD's intervention Niqqqar n stop wynin here lyk a new born baby ................... ........ N ye should stop crying unto we nairalanders as-if we'R his GOD .... N where's ur wife sef .... I'll lyk to hear her part of this whole issue cos every coin has 2 sides Partly modified |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Lordscrown(m): 5:37am On Jan 05, 2015 |
One word!!!divorce..else she take your life.marriage is ment to be enjoyed not suffered. Rep042:
My marriage is just 1 year and few days old,but within the last 365 days,I have seen torment and hell on daily basis. We dated for 2 years before tying the knot,she's a nice person,but her mouth is destructive,she has this overbearing attitude,always trying to control me or dictate the pace,and can keep malice,anger and record of evil done to her for a long time. She's the type of person that talks very well,I mean convincely well,but unfortunately,she speaks more negative words. She can talk for hours non-stop,especially when provoked,saying all sorts of bad words.
She has threatened to kill me & send assassins after me on different occasions in the past,though I just ignored such threats.
My wife has been abusing me verbally and always say nasty things at every slightest provocation and at the same ready to engage me in fisticuffs.
She can really say unprintable words such as "it will not be well with you","as you go out,people will deal with you", "you will work like an elephant and eat like an ant", "this your certificate will never yield you any good thing", etc, name callings,abuses,curses etc.
Please Nairalanders, I will like to know if it is wrong or out of place for a working class married lady to assist her husband in paying some bills or buying some foodstuffs at home. Because,anytime she assists in doing anything,she will record it and consequently use that to abuse and insult me whenever we have misunderstanding and or exchange of words.
After our traditional marriage on December 2013,I had some financial challenges,and then my rent was due for renewable,she offered to assist,at first I was skeptical about it ,because I know her kind of person,knowing full well that she will use that to ridicule and abuse me in no distant time. But,then,I didn't have any alternative,so I allowed her pay d rent. Now,she's claiming ownership,saying ..."which house,the one that I have been paying the rent or another one"...
She has done a lot of character assassination & damages to my personality before some of her relatives & family members(Her father and two sisters),thus they all support her & no longer regard me as anybody.
Few months into our marriage,she started wearing butt pads, I told her to stop ,because I don't like the stuff,but she flared up and we had exchange of words. She told me that she has to look good to outsiders.
Throughout her pregnancy period,she wore the butt pads on daily basis even at home,I allowed her because of her condition,even though it looked disgusting on her. After she put to bed,and few days later, I told her to quit wearing that stuff, but she refused,then I seized it,she started ranting to the hearing of everyone at home & neighbors that I have taken her padded pants(aka butt pad) to native doctor. I just ignored her. Few days later, she bought another set.
On Xmas day(2014),she dressed up & wore the butt pads again,I told her to remove it ,but she refused,then i tried forcing her to do so,and that resulted to a serious fight. She tore my already ironed clothes to pieces(an expensive Indian attire I bought when I travelled to India),I tore hers too and forced the butt pads out from her body.
Hell was let loose that day,because she called her sisters,they came to my house and created a very nasty scene in my neighborhood,they insulted,ridiculed me and made a mockery of me,her elder sister who is a police officer threatened to deal with me,she was talking and hitting her hands on the ground saying that,they are going to teach me some bitter lessons in this town. I tried to respond but my Mum,who's on child's visit(Omugwo) asked me to hold my peace. It wasn't easy though,they also insulted her too.
Since that day till date,my wife doesn't talk to me. The only thing that connects us now is the new born baby.
Her words have actually killed me psychologically, emotionally etc, to the extent that sometimes, I loose consciousness of my surrounding while driving to and fro from work , I will be lost in thought, and on a particular occasion nearly rammed another moving vehicle,if not for the speed bumps on the road that awaken my consciousness.
Her words:"if you are still regarding me as your wife,then you wasting your time". Its obvious she wants a divorce because to her,she's still very young(28 years),and can easily move on. She doesn't give a damn.
She has also repeated that same threat of killing me,these days ,the number of calls entering her phone is amazing,most times,she goes far from the house to answer those calls.
Please,kindly advice me.
Thank you. |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by FOREXMARTS: 5:39am On Jan 05, 2015 |
Rep042:
My marriage is just 1 year and few days old,but within the last 365 days,I have seen torment and hell on daily basis. We dated for 2 years before tying the knot,she's a nice person,but her mouth is destructive,she has this overbearing attitude,always trying to control me or dictate the pace,and can keep malice,anger and record of evil done to her for a long time. She's the type of person that talks very well,I mean convincely well,but unfortunately,she speaks more negative words. She can talk for hours non-stop,especially when provoked,saying all sorts of bad words.
She has threatened to kill me & send assassins after me on different occasions in the past,though I just ignored such threats.
My wife has been abusing me verbally and always say nasty things at every slightest provocation and at the same ready to engage me in fisticuffs.
She can really say unprintable words such as "it will not be well with you","as you go out,people will deal with you", "you will work like an elephant and eat like an ant", "this your certificate will never yield you any good thing", etc, name callings,abuses,curses etc.
Please Nairalanders, I will like to know if it is wrong or out of place for a working class married lady to assist her husband in paying some bills or buying some foodstuffs at home. Because,anytime she assists in doing anything,she will record it and consequently use that to abuse and insult me whenever we have misunderstanding and or exchange of words.
After our traditional marriage on December 2013,I had some financial challenges,and then my rent was due for renewable,she offered to assist,at first I was skeptical about it ,because I know her kind of person,knowing full well that she will use that to ridicule and abuse me in no distant time. But,then,I didn't have any alternative,so I allowed her pay d rent. Now,she's claiming ownership,saying ..."which house,the one that I have been paying the rent or another one"...
She has done a lot of character assassination & damages to my personality before some of her relatives & family members(Her father and two sisters),thus they all support her & no longer regard me as anybody.
Few months into our marriage,she started wearing butt pads, I told her to stop ,because I don't like the stuff,but she flared up and we had exchange of words. She told me that she has to look good to outsiders.
Throughout her pregnancy period,she wore the butt pads on daily basis even at home,I allowed her because of her condition,even though it looked disgusting on her. After she put to bed,and few days later, I told her to quit wearing that stuff, but she refused,then I seized it,she started ranting to the hearing of everyone at home & neighbors that I have taken her padded pants(aka butt pad) to native doctor. I just ignored her. Few days later, she bought another set.
On Xmas day(2014),she dressed up & wore the butt pads again,I told her to remove it ,but she refused,then i tried forcing her to do so,and that resulted to a serious fight. She tore my already ironed clothes to pieces(an expensive Indian attire I bought when I travelled to India),I tore hers too and forced the butt pads out from her body.
Hell was let loose that day,because she called her sisters,they came to my house and created a very nasty scene in my neighborhood,they insulted,ridiculed me and made a mockery of me,her elder sister who is a police officer threatened to deal with me,she was talking and hitting her hands on the ground saying that,they are going to teach me some bitter lessons in this town. I tried to respond but my Mum,who's on child's visit(Omugwo) asked me to hold my peace. It wasn't easy though,they also insulted her too.
Since that day till date,my wife doesn't talk to me. The only thing that connects us now is the new born baby.
Her words have actually killed me psychologically, emotionally etc, to the extent that sometimes, I loose consciousness of my surrounding while driving to and fro from work , I will be lost in thought, and on a particular occasion nearly rammed another moving vehicle,if not for the speed bumps on the road that awaken my consciousness.
Her words:"if you are still regarding me as your wife,then you wasting your time". Its obvious she wants a divorce because to her,she's still very young(28 years),and can easily move on. She doesn't give a damn.
She has also repeated that same threat of killing me,these days ,the number of calls entering her phone is amazing,most times,she goes far from the house to answer those calls.
Please,kindly advice me.
Thank you. You are dumb, you are an embarrassment to manhood, you can't tell me that you didn't see the signs. Show her the door, get a fvcking divorce and move on. Visit ur child on intervals. Jeez, it's a new year. Damn give me ur wife's number. Last bullet, if ur still in that marriage by December you gonna be a vegetable. MAN UP DAMN IT, marriage is fvcking overrated. #I ain't falling for this shaitza. |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by pragmatistm(m): 5:42am On Jan 05, 2015 |
Im sorry for what is taking place in your marriage. But please do no give up. First year of marriage tend to be turbulent but there is hope. You people can rescue the situation for good. please check this page online to read some articles that can help you in this situation. www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/couples-parents/You need to pray and follow the suggestions there.You can tactfully give to your wife too to read. Also, when you see Jehovah's Witnesses in your area call on them they can help you to follow the Bible's advice and rescue the situation. Don't divorce as God hates it. If you are on whatsapp we can talk. Send your phone contact to formailsalone(at) gmail. com You need heart-to heart communication with your wife. I like to talk to you on certain areas you too got it wrong but not online. Send your phone number. |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by ChynoBEATS: 5:43am On Jan 05, 2015 |
I still cant believe I'm qradually boiling becos of wat I've jst read ...... |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by ayocool(m): 6:07am On Jan 05, 2015 |
Divorce is the only way out in your situation. No matter who you take your wife to for counseling or whatever is done to calm the storm, It will only be for a while. People always say that nothing is impossible and people do change, not in all circumstances. She has jumped that fence many times, she knows the in and out already, if a situation comes up, She will jump it again!! You can never compare with someone who hasnt got the heart and confidence to go that far (Take your time and find a better woman). She can only pretend to be changed for a while, but she will go back to that, and that time, it might be too late for you to start a new life, thats even if you are still alive. Going ahead with your wife is a big Risk.
Of course you saw the signs earlier and know the kind of woman she is, but in this kind of situations and with many other people out there, you overlooked character and got carried away with beauty or good sex.
Run my brother and find a way to take care of your child and spend time together. Dont stay bcs of the child. Its more harm for a child to witness abusive parenting. One day the child will be mature enough to know everything about the past and chose who he/she wants to be with and get closer to. Be a good father as much as you can and let any woman you will be moving on with know and be able to accept your package.
Goodluck! |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by DieeDiee: 6:11am On Jan 05, 2015 |
Rep042:
My marriage is just 1 year and few days old,but within the last 365 days,I have seen torment and hell on daily basis. We dated for 2 years before tying the knot,she's a nice person,but her mouth is destructive,she has this overbearing attitude,always trying to control me or dictate the pace,and can keep malice,anger and record of evil done to her for a long time. She's the type of person that talks very well,I mean convincely well,but unfortunately,she speaks more negative words. She can talk for hours non-stop,especially when provoked,saying all sorts of bad words.
She has threatened to kill me & send assassins after me on different occasions in the past,though I just ignored such threats.
My wife has been abusing me verbally and always say nasty things at every slightest provocation and at the same ready to engage me in fisticuffs.
She can really say unprintable words such as "it will not be well with you","as you go out,people will deal with you", "you will work like an elephant and eat like an ant", "this your certificate will never yield you any good thing", etc, name callings,abuses,curses etc.
Please Nairalanders, I will like to know if it is wrong or out of place for a working class married lady to assist her husband in paying some bills or buying some foodstuffs at home. Because,anytime she assists in doing anything,she will record it and consequently use that to abuse and insult me whenever we have misunderstanding and or exchange of words.
After our traditional marriage on December 2013,I had some financial challenges,and then my rent was due for renewable,she offered to assist,at first I was skeptical about it ,because I know her kind of person,knowing full well that she will use that to ridicule and abuse me in no distant time. But,then,I didn't have any alternative,so I allowed her pay d rent. Now,she's claiming ownership,saying ..."which house,the one that I have been paying the rent or another one"...
She has done a lot of character assassination & damages to my personality before some of her relatives & family members(Her father and two sisters),thus they all support her & no longer regard me as anybody.
Few months into our marriage,she started wearing butt pads, I told her to stop ,because I don't like the stuff,but she flared up and we had exchange of words. She told me that she has to look good to outsiders.
Throughout her pregnancy period,she wore the butt pads on daily basis even at home,I allowed her because of her condition,even though it looked disgusting on her. After she put to bed,and few days later, I told her to quit wearing that stuff, but she refused,then I seized it,she started ranting to the hearing of everyone at home & neighbors that I have taken her padded pants(aka butt pad) to native doctor. I just ignored her. Few days later, she bought another set.
On Xmas day(2014),she dressed up & wore the butt pads again,I told her to remove it ,but she refused,then i tried forcing her to do so,and that resulted to a serious fight. She tore my already ironed clothes to pieces(an expensive Indian attire I bought when I travelled to India),I tore hers too and forced the butt pads out from her body.
Hell was let loose that day,because she called her sisters,they came to my house and created a very nasty scene in my neighborhood,they insulted,ridiculed me and made a mockery of me,her elder sister who is a police officer threatened to deal with me,she was talking and hitting her hands on the ground saying that,they are going to teach me some bitter lessons in this town. I tried to respond but my Mum,who's on child's visit(Omugwo) asked me to hold my peace. It wasn't easy though,they also insulted her too.
Since that day till date,my wife doesn't talk to me. The only thing that connects us now is the new born baby.
Her words have actually killed me psychologically, emotionally etc, to the extent that sometimes, I loose consciousness of my surrounding while driving to and fro from work , I will be lost in thought, and on a particular occasion nearly rammed another moving vehicle,if not for the speed bumps on the road that awaken my consciousness.
Her words:"if you are still regarding me as your wife,then you wasting your time". Its obvious she wants a divorce because to her,she's still very young(28 years),and can easily move on. She doesn't give a damn.
She has also repeated that same threat of killing me,these days ,the number of calls entering her phone is amazing,most times,she goes far from the house to answer those calls.
Please,kindly advice me.
Thank you. Your wife is psycho crazy and so is her family. Leave her now!!! No one should stand for abuse man or woman! Just don't let this experience make you bitter or change your view of women. Take it as a lesson learned on warning signs and what kind of woman you should be on the look out for. Your wife is broken but it's not your duty to fix her. We all have a responsibility to ourselves. You can't fix or change someone only they can do it. Your only duty is to protect and take care of you. Taking her for counseling won't help and will be a waste of time and money. It has to be something that comes from her for it to work therefore SHE needs to take herself for counseling. And tell her your are only willing to deal with her once she has dealt with her issues. |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by banky222: 6:12am On Jan 05, 2015 |
Most ladies are always eager to get married. Hence, they don't show their true colours when in courtship. The only way to enjoy this marriage my man is for u to be blind to all her actions and deaf to all her rantings, hoping that one day she will turn a new leaf. shower her with gift remind her of ur sweet moment together and dont forget prayers. |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by livinbygrace: 6:13am On Jan 05, 2015 |
EfemenaXY:
Your wife hasn't cheated on you, stolen your money, or committed any mortal crime.
Your marriage is barely one year old. You made those vows for-better-for-worse. What you're going through is a bumpy phase. You don't just throw in the trowel at the first hurdle.
Man up and face your responsibilities and quit trying so hard to force yourself on her. It's not your place to tear down her clothes, butt pads or not, simply because you don't like them. By doing so, you've lowered yourself in her eyes, hence her fighting you back in retaliation.
Rather than dwell on the negatives of your marriage, try to see the positives - afterall, you must have seen something in her for you to have married her in the first place. Dwell on the positives and you both should strive to improve upon how you relate to each other. Cut out the third parties and keep your business your business.
Goodluck. Nonsense !! 1 Like |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by KLand(m): 6:18am On Jan 05, 2015 |
krispycash:
Divorce her... There is nothing left for u in that marriage... Move on... U deserve ur peace of mind... You have been emotionally abused... Psychologically tormented and physically belittled... What other reason can u get?? U knew how she was and u still married her Bro love ain't that blind.... So man up, and get out of that union be for it kills u Divorce is usually not the best option. Even the worst marriages can be salvaged. |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by banky222: 6:23am On Jan 05, 2015 |
She wont kill u. she actual wants a break up. Most women btw 1-3yrs in marriage do feel like they are in a cage and somehow they yearn for freedom. lt is up to u to either meet her desire by breaking up or fight to keep your family together. All marriages have their peculiar problem. d easiest way out is divorce but it is not d best option. |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Muzikluva(m): 6:30am On Jan 05, 2015 |
If she is really this bad,then Mr I'm sorry but you don't have a wife! |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by DieeDiee: 6:31am On Jan 05, 2015 |
EfemenaXY:
Your wife hasn't cheated on you, stolen your money, or committed any mortal crime.
Your marriage is barely one year old. You made those vows for-better-for-worse. What you're going through is a bumpy phase. You don't just throw in the trowel at the first hurdle.
Man up and face your responsibilities and quit trying so hard to force yourself on her. It's not your place to tear down her clothes, butt pads or not, simply because you don't like them. By doing so, you've lowered yourself in her eyes, hence her fighting you back in retaliation.
Rather than dwell on the negatives of your marriage, try to see the positives - afterall, you must have seen something in her for you to have married her in the first place. Dwell on the positives and you both should strive to improve upon how you relate to each other. Cut out the third parties and keep your business your business.
Goodluck. Abuse IS a mortal crime! She has stolen and cheated on him. She has cheated him from a happy marriage and home and she has stolen his self-esteem. She is not only ruining his life and her life but there is an innocent child as well who will suffer from this toxic environment. If you knew and understood abuse you wouldn't be uttering this rubbish. People like you need to stop encouraging people to stay in toxic and abusive relationships. These relationship have no benefit for society except create an sicker and more broken society. God helps those who help themselves. Praying won't change the situation. The mere fact this man feels the way and has thoughts to leave means God is telling him to help himself and get out. You should be ashamed of yourself guilting him to stay in a clearly unhappy marriage. God gave us life and wants us to be happy. The only "man up" thing he needs to do is to leave that trifling $%&€*$%'s fake-a*s a*s! |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by banky222: 6:35am On Jan 05, 2015 |
Buy her more butt pad. she thinks she is getting old and out of shape. Try and build back her confidence tell her she is still beautiful. Admire her body write her romantic poems about her butt, b....st, waist and everything. Call when you are in d office and tell her sweet things. GUY be Romantic. don't be too African. 3 Likes |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by dmola(m): 6:54am On Jan 05, 2015 |
MissMeiya:
OP, you sound like a dumbass. What do you want us to tell you. Smh 1 Like |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by dmola(m): 6:59am On Jan 05, 2015 |
gifttracy:
Am sure pipu advice you against marrying her.but anyway u made the mistk alredi, I can tk side right now cos d could be more to this.so my advice is go to God in prayers and ask for direction. Well said .....nice display |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by pak: 7:00am On Jan 05, 2015 |
donnypool:
H
R.I.P my friend, nairaland will surely miss you Bro!!!!! You harsh O !!!!!! |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by dmola(m): 7:02am On Jan 05, 2015 |
cococandy:
if you marry a wife who keeps her money to herself and expects you to do everything with yours while hers remain in her account, then there is something missing. It is obvious she doesn't understand that both of you are in it together.
Marriage is partnership. So her money can't be hers alone and yours should not be yours alone. You're supposed to pool your resources together and undergo projects together. Hence in marriage there is no reason why one person should say "my house" . I hope my point is clear now. Xactly mi thou........ 1 Like |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by Nobody: 7:03am On Jan 05, 2015 |
Dragonking:
What about the woman threatening to kill the Op? Don't u see anything wring there? It's empty threats, even assassins are paid heavy. Killing isnt as simple as eating pizza. |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by sexynabila(f): 7:14am On Jan 05, 2015 |
phantonce:
You make it sound like your wife is the real satan.
Is she that bad that you can point out one good attribute of her.
What then did you see in her that made you marry her? beauty maybe |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by peedeeasobie(m): 7:17am On Jan 05, 2015 |
teemanbastos:
When JESUS d prince of peace is nt present, dis is what is faced.
Talk to ur pastor(s).
Marriage is 'til death do us part' My friend keep your judgemental and ignorant view to yourself. If you don't have any other contribution, kindly keep calm. 1 Like |
| Re: Separation Is Imminent In My Marriage. by teemanbastos(m): 7:21am On Jan 05, 2015 |
peedeeasobie:
My friend keep your judgemental and ignorant view to yourself.
If you don't have any other contribution, kindly keep calm. sorry |
