HelenBee:
ayam here!!!

You'r wlcm dearie, i'l go get sm snackx

harjibolar10:

Oga no vex abeg, all the attendant plus the waiters are on indefinite strike maa ni, and we dey pay them.

Anyways, I go come do it my self ni yen oo,
Now place your order, I'll be glad to be at your sevice.

And for the story, It will soon continue, very soon (I think)

No wahala brother, haw far na?

thronekid:

No wahala brother, haw far na?

I just dey ooo, keeping my cool

harjibolar10:

I just dey ooo, keeping my cool

Owk o,wetn b ya twitter username?

thronekid:
Seems we'r not welcome here o.
Maybe the waiter isn't willing to perform his duties or coz we aint yet star writers, ryt dear prettydiva89 ?
'
. Nw, harjibolar10 , what do you have to say bout dz,u knw u invited me, right? Since morning, no food, nt even pure water, i had t buy snacks for sm cuties- prettydiva89,teebashy and helenbee buh t my utter dismay, they couldn't make it. Now, d snacks hv been rendered useless, nw, u'l agree wif me dat dat aint fair enuf,abi i lie?
'
...Beta start talking oh before me and my cuties go face you oh, shey u get?

Abeg no vex jawe.......

thronekid:
Seems we'r not welcome here o.
Maybe the waiter isn't willing to perform his duties or coz we aint yet star writers, ryt dear prettydiva89 ?
'
. Nw, harjibolar10 , what do you have to say bout dz,u knw u invited me, right? Since morning, no food, nt even pure water, i had t buy snacks for sm cuties- prettydiva89,teebashy and helenbee buh t my utter dismay, they couldn't make it. Now, d snacks hv been rendered useless, nw, u'l agree wif me dat dat aint fair enuf,abi i lie?
'
...Beta start talking oh before me and my cuties go face you oh, shey u get?

Abeg no vex jawe.......I don take my sit

thronekid:

Owk o,wetn b ya twitter username?

Check my profile sir

Harjibola10, Thronekid and others, please endeavour to check rule number 'one' of Nairaland.
It says and I quote;
1. Please post on topics always. Do not derail or tribalize threads.

Daughterzion:
Críticms and encouragements are allowed. I think i will drop this story since am nt getting the kind of response i need. Make una encourage person na. Na wa o

Don't worry dear..... You'll get there...... Its just a matter of time and hardwork.

Nice story btw.
Thumbs up

D9ty7:
Harjibola10, Thronekid and others, please endeavour to check rule number 'one' of Nairaland.
It says and I quote;
1. Please post on topics always. Do not derail or tribalize threads.

Are we derailing? Or even tribalizing?
Its okay, if that's your own definition of those words, I have to abide by it(and nothing more)

My hand is now on the desk

D9ty7:
Harjibola10, Thronekid and others, please endeavour to check rule number 'one' of Nairaland.
It says and I quote;
1. Please post on topics always. Do not derail or tribalize threads.

We'r sowie boss buh i was just trying to kip d thread lively in d absence of 'daughterzion'. Buh 1ce again, we'r sorry!

harjibolar10:

Check my profile sir

Owk bro

Teebashy:

Abeg no vex jawe.......I don take my sit

Owk cutie buh u're sittin wit me ba?

Lilian accepted his request but to her dismay, he was not online so she chatted with her online friends. Jude was online.
Lilian: helo
jude: hey girl how far.
Lilian: am kul nd u
jude: xame. How is Lagos you knw i travld.
Lilian: hm. Am nt in lag o. Am in port and am n comin bck
jude: What! Why na.
Lilian: my dad wants me to live without them so i cn taste real life. Please help me tel Mara nd odas. Got to go nw, my aunt is clin me. Bye.
With that, lilian logged out and went to the kitchen to answer her aunty.
" bon appetite" aunty becky said as she gave Lilian a plate of hot porridge yam. Lilian went to the dining to eat.
After eating, lilian went to the kitchen and watched the plates then she hurried to her bedroom to rest.
Lilian took her phone to check if Leo was online. This guy was driving her crazy!
Luckily, he was online.
Lilian: hello
Leo: how are you?
Lilian: great and you?
Leo: not bad. How is lagos?.
Lilian: are u nt in lag?
Leo: no. Am on holiday with Jude
Lilian: i see. Any way am in port nd am nt coming back.
Leo: ok.
He didn't even ask why lilian thought.
Lilian: dis 1 u added me. Hpe am sfe.
Leo. Am not as you think.
With that, Leo went offline.
Lilian was sad. She shouldn't have asked that question.
******************
Leo went straight to the parlour where he met jude watching a movie. Leo and Jude's parents decided to send their sons together to australia for the christmas holidays. They stayed with jude's aunty who was an importer and exporter of goods in and out of australia.
"is it true that Lilian is in port" leo asked relaxing on an expensive sofa.
Jude looked at Leo suprised. How did he know and why did he ask. Leo avoided conversations about Lilian whenever jude tried to bring it up.
"how did you know?" jude asked still suprised.
"she told me on facebook" leo replied carelessly
" you have her on your list?" jude's eyes popped out. That was really weird.
"is it a crime?" leo snapped. " now answer me" he added authourotatively.
"uhm yeah.......her dad said shes gonna finish her secondary school there" jude replied carefully looking at his friend.
"ok. Thanks anyway but dont tell her i asked" leo said walking back to his room.
Jude could not concerntrate on the movie. Something was going on!

haba update nah lets enjoy the almost gone weekend

I wil try to update soon. Am doing projects.

*** A YEAR LATER***
"Lily have you got any plans for sunday?" aunty becky asked her niece.
"uhm i dont think so. Why ask?" lilian replied
"well i want you to follow me to my friends wedding. Can you?"
" yeah of course. I love weddings" lilian said excitedly.
She was currently in the last term of ss2 and would graduate to ss3 that year. She had really grown. Though she missed her parents, they still talked through phone.
The next day been sunday, they got ready for the party. Lilian wore a short blue gown with golden coloured flat shoe and her white purse to match. She really looked beautiful.
When they got to the reception hall, aunty becky went over to where the just wedded couples were to greet her friend leaving Lilian to look around.
The party was at its peak as guests danced around. Lilian looked at the decorations. Pepper red and golden was the colour of the day and it did look nice.
Just then, her aunty came over.
"lets look for a seat" she said pulling lilian to a nearby vacant seat.
"the party really looks great" lilian commented. But her aunty was not listening she was looking at the people dancing with the couple.
"lets go dance" aunty becky said getting up. Lilian saw that coming and already had an excuse for it.
"i will join you later. Am pressed". Her aunty did not hear her. She was already on the dance floor.
Lilian went out. She saw that as an opportunity to look around.
The reception took place in an exceptionally expensive and big hotel. The couple must be rich. She looked at the swimming pool that was just nearby and decided to go there and feel the breeze.
She was still halfway to the pool when she felt something in her bladder, she was pressed.
She looked around to see if she could see a rest room. Then she saw someone who looked like a waitress passing by.
" please excuse me. Where is the rest room?" lilian asked
the lady whn gave her directions which she followed till she got there and relieved her bladder of the load. She washed her hands and came out. She had to rush back to the reception hall. Her aunt might be looking for her.
She half ran to the hall and was almost there when Boooom. She had bumped into someone and she fell down.
" always bumping into people right" a cool familiar voice said.
Wait a second. Lilian had heard that voice before. She looked up quickly and to say she was shocked would be an understatement.
"it was Leo!"

hi daughterzion, cool moniker u ve gat and u re really doing a great job here. Try and make ur updates lenghty. Is ur story fiction or non fiction? Btw, dnt forget 2 talk abt faith, lillian's sista and d issue her parent had to make dem send her away. Weldone.

You gat a nice work doing here oo, keep it up ma'am

My dear, that's not a suspense oo(if someone should ask me)

You shouldn't have include the last sentence, I mean 'it was leo'. If that's not included, (my dear) you surely kill it, we'll just be here, guessing who the person might be...

Anyways, my own piece of advice; To leave your readers in the state of craving for more updates, you need suspense(a big one per se)

Keep'em coming

"let me help you up" Leo said extending his hand.
Lilian was confused. Was this still the Leo she knew?.
"do...nt worr...y am fi....ne" lilian said dusting her gown as she got up her mind still on Leo.
Leo shook his head.
"come i want to show you something" he said walking away. Lilian followed him quietly like a sheep to the slaughter.
The walked quietly till they reached the hotel's garden or should i say a natural enviroment best for artists and creative thinkers. They just stood there.
"what do you feel" leo said after three minutes of silence. Lilian was silent. She could feel something but did not know what it was.
"i asked a question Lilian" Leo said.
"uhm. I do not really know..." lilian replied scratching her head. She was really nervous.
Leo looked at her as if she was insane. Then he looked back.
"Peace! And that was what i never had" he said as he walked back to a nearby long bench and sat down his face facing the ground.
Lilian was confused. She went over and sat beside him.
" i know people think am an arrogant and proud person but am not" Leo continued. " am just trying to cover up for what i knew i would never have Peace! My parents are never around. It is either they are in italy or europe if not paris and its like. They never had time for me so i lived with my grand mum who at the age of 65 was still agile. We lived peacefully and happily till tha faithful sunday evening.
My grandmum was very ill. I wanted to take her to the hospital but she declined and instead, gave me money to buy drugs. I ran to a nearby chemist, and bought the required drugs then just as i looked back, i saw a girl i had had a crush on all through my life. When i saw her, my mind flew away it was as if i was enchanted. I tried to pass without her seeing me because i was the shy type. But unfortunately she saw me and called me. I was blushing because i was very shy. She tried to engage me in a conversation and i foolishly joined her forgeting my mission. After about ten minutes, she said she had to go and that was when i remembered.
I ran home with the speed of a lightening but before i could get to the gate, my grandma was de.......ad" a sad smile crossed leo's face as he remebered the past. "my parents came back when they heard the sad news and that was the first time i met my parents. Since i was born i had never seen my parents. They gave grandma a befitting burial and my mum decided to stay with me since i was still 13. She tried her best to be the best mother to me and i appreciate her for that. But nothing can remove the guilt that i killed my grandma away and i always blame myself for it. You might think am arrogant and bad but you do not know what living with a guilt that you killed your grandma is" he concluded.
Lilian was speechless. What could she do?. She looked at Leo's face and felt really sorry for him. But just as she was about to say something, someone interrupted.
" Leo dear, come lets go dance" a voice said.
Lilian looked to see who it was and that was when she got the greatest shock of her life.

Thanks for the encouragements

Daughterzion:
Thanks for the encouragements

You're welcome dearie

The suspense is there now. Can't wait to see wha and what the person look like oo

Keep'em coming dearie

Zion update or we will fight

Come and update o

Harjibolar01, thanks for inviting me. Daughterzion, I'm so amaze that a secondary student is writing this, and I must say that you are doing a great job, keep it up my dear. Now my observations,
1. You didn't chapter your work. Please endeavor to do that. Its important you do it.
2. Mrs Dan and Lilian are proper noun. Every first letter of a proper known should be written in capital letter. You sometimes forget this rule. Take note of this.
3. Now, I have a question for you, how old is Lilian? Be specific.
4. Your second to the last update, the phone conversation between Lilian, Jude and Leo, why not write them using quotation marks. Thats how to write a prose. Always insert your characters' conversation in quotation mark, never forget this'.
5. You are rushing the story, why is it so. A writer must follow the storyline in sequential order.
6. You need to build suspense. It makes your readers ask for more.
7. The last update, Lilian's aunty invited her to a wedding, later, you said they were going to a party. Modify that.
Lastly, are you an art student or a science student?

Science. Chemical engineering.

Daughterzion:
Science. Chemical engineering.

What of the other questions?

TiffanyJ:
Harjibolar01, thanks for inviting me.
Daughterzion, I'm so amaze that a secondary student is writing this, and I must say that you are doing a great job, keep it up my dear. Now my observations,
1. You didn't chapter your work. Please endeavor to do that. Its important you do it.
2. Mrs Dan and Lilian are proper noun. Every first letter of a proper known should be written in capital letter. You sometimes forget this rule. Take note of this.
3. Now, I have a question for you, how old is Lilian? Be specific.
4. Your second to the last update, the phone conversation between Lilian, Jude and Leo, why not write them using quotation marks. Thats how to write a prose. Always insert your characters' conversation in quotation mark, never forget this'.
5. You are rushing the story, why is it so. A writer must follow the storyline in sequential order.
6. You need to build suspense. It makes your readers ask for more.
7. The last update, Lilian's aunty invited her to a wedding, later, you said they were going to a party. Modify that.
Lastly, are you an art student or a science student?

It was Faith! Lilian could not believe her eyes.
Faith on her part was shocked beyond words. She looked at Leo then back to Lilian. Her throat was dry.
Leo, not knowing what was going on, got up, looked at Faith in disgust and then walked away.
"Faaithh wh what are you doing here? Lilian finally found her voice.
"i should be the one asking you that"Faith snapped as if nothing happened."Wait. is he your boyfriend?"
Lilian looked at her sister as if she was a doctor observing a patient. Her sister had not changed much. She was still the tall chocolate oval faced girl she knew. Her nose were pointed and her eyes and ears were still small except her chocolate lips which were full and which made her mouth bigger than normal.
"no he is not just an old classmate of mine. And you? Lilian asked.
"well dont know but i love him" Faith replied.
Lilian's eyes popped out. Was her sister crazy? She was older than Leo for Gods sake.
"wait wait wait. I want to understand something here. You are in your third year and he is stil in Ss2. So how is that possible?" Lilian asked still suprised.
Faith looked at her sister. She had seen that coming.
"well thats your mentality. As for me, age is just a compilation of numbers. When love is involved nothing else matters"
"ok so does he love you?" Lilian asked curiously.
Faith shook her head and a tear ran down her cheeks. " i dont think he does. He despises me. But i will keep on trying"
"i seeee"
"by the way who did you come with for the wedding party?" Faith changed the subject.
"Aunty Becky and you?" Lilian answered seriously thinking if her sister had no shame. Shes just after his money she concluded.
"i came alone when a friend told me Leo was coming here" Faith replied as she walked away.
Lilian was dazed. She had lots of questions for her sister. She knew from the onnset that Faith had no shame but this one was serious. How can a reasonable lady date a younger guy just for his money and the worst part been that the guy does not love her. Faith who was seven years older than Lilian was 22 while viewing Leo's profile on facebook, he was sixteen. So that meant Faith was six years older than him....... Just then her phone rang. She looked at the screen and saw it was aunty Becky. Oh no! She had wasted a lot of time. She ran back to the reception hall as she continued thinking about the incident.

wow Zion as the first person to take seat for this story,please update (half begging )

Leo had wanted to travel back to Lagos that night but he was just too tired. He lodged a room in a hotel with the descision to take a flight back the next day.
He took his bath, ate his food and lay down to sleep. Different thoughts crossed his mind as he ruminated about the events of the day. He thought about faith.
Leo could vividly remember how they met. He and his cousin had gone to the matriculation ceremony of a friend of his when his cousin had left him to go greet a friend.
Leo knew that all eyes were on him especially the ladies but he just ignored them. But there was this pair of eye who would not let go. Before he knew it, a good looking lady had come close to where he was sitting.
"hi handsome" the lady said.
Leo ignored her.
"am Faith and you?" she refused to be discouraged.
"Am Leo"Leo stood up and walked away. He had no time for rubbish.
When he got home that day, he was suprised to see that a certain Faith Daniels had sent him a request which he accepted.
As they chatted he began to know more about Faith. He knew what she was after and she seemed desprate to the extent that she slept with his cousin who she had got to know as she had met him on the matrculation day without Leo's knowledge just to know his whereabouts. She was a cheap slut Leo concluded as he drifted slowly to dreamland. He dreamt about Lilian.

Keep'em coming ma'am

BTW, make it a lenghty one next time ooo