Hi Guys, i need your councel on an issue, please your suggestions are welcomed.

My name z mcfynest and have been dating my fiance for a little over a year now, but now we are having issues relating to what church to attend and which friends to keep i dont blame her on this,cos i told her i was with another girl when she was away(she works in abuja while i work in lagos. My church is a yoruba speaking church, they interprete the yoruba to english, but you know how the yoruba can be dominant! She says they dont allow trousers in church and also to open the hair. More like she isnt welcomed.


The question is this, should i just abandon my church and friends and just follow her Wont it seem has though she is the driver while i am her stooge?

Anyone had such experience before How did you overcome it

If u truly love her. U will weigh both options and go for one. Its not as though u r d loser if u attend hers.

Just make sure you leave your church for the right reasons

ameryzzy:
If u truly love her. U will weigh both options and go for one. Its not as though u r d loser if u attend hers.

If i dont love her ehn, the moment that church tin start, i wud v freed ha, am not a mama's boi o,buh m also certain my mum wud think am a stooge to a lady

elantraceey:
Just make sure you leave your church for the right reasons

In terms of doctrine, the churches are more like same, just that hers is an expatriate church and it allows them to open the hair in church and dress freely(but modestly) i wont mind going with her, but wont this lead to numerous things later?

mcfynest:


In terms of doctrine, the churches are more like same, just that hers is an expatriate church and it allows them to open the hair in church and dress freely(but modestly) i wont mind going with her, but wont this lead to numerous things later?

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You fear she'll want to impose her rules on you later on right?

I don't think you should fear for that because i understand her reasons here , are you a leader or worker in your church?

elantraceey:
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You fear she'll want to impose her rules on you later on right?

I don't think you should fear for that because i understand her reasons here , are you a leader or worker in your church?

Wow, good that you replied, you filled with wisdom.

Yes she can be imposing, and i fear if i i take this little step, it may be the beginning of many things to come.

Yes i am a aunday school teacher saddled with responsibility, now you see why it is tough for me?

Pls is she igbo? such dat she doesnt understand yoruba bt at least dey interprete. is she only comfortable in trousers? dere r several oda questions runnin thru my mind bt i wont b able to ask all. ds is no issue at all to me...u both shld sit down and decide what u want as to wat ur church shld look like...den look for one arnd and start attending, meaning it shldnt b her church neither shld it be urs. case closed

mcfynest:


Wow, good that you replied, you filled with wisdom.

Yes she can be imposing, and i fear if i i take this little step, it may be the beginning of many things to come.

Yes i am a aunday school teacher saddled with responsibility, now you see why it is tough for me?

I don't you should be scared of that because even me won't be comfortable attending a church where i can't wear my smart looking trouser suit and always have to tie my hair all the time .


Hmmmm , that's really though , then you'll have to talk to her and make you understand your position but don't because you're scared of other things coming up , it won't be easy for her though but i feel she'll understand.

yinkus4u2c:
Pls is she igbo? such dat she doesnt understand yoruba bt at least dey interprete. is she only comfortable in trousers? dere r several oda questions runnin thru my mind bt i wont b able to ask all. ds is no issue at all to me...u both shld sit down and decide what u want as to wat ur church shld look like...den look for one arnd and start attending, meaning it shldnt b her church neither shld it be urs. case closed

all she wants is a church that will welcome her, yes she is ibo, we discussed on finding another church, but she says we we would be attending her church for now! Am on probation now sef, so i gat to start coming to ha church n ha bible study crew so she can know am serious. I understand we are both ib the relationship together, but i feel am the one who should be doing what she is doing. Am i too gentle or wat I Just tire, i am not even listening to my friends advice sef, cos they said i am a definition of LOVE MUGU.

elantraceey:



I don't you should be scared of that because even me won't be comfortable attending a church where i can't wear my smart looking trouser suit and always have to tie my hair all the time .


Hmmmm , that's really though , then you'll have to talk to her and make you understand your position but don't because you're scared of other things coming up , it won't be easy for her though but i feel she'll understand.

Oh thanks, realy greatful

mcfynest:


Oh thanks, realy greatful

You're welcome . May God help make the right decisions.

This is a hard one. But you two need to Discuss..
Do you think you can attend her church? Do you really know her church? I mean really?
Plus I feel she should be attending your church.
Please,if you are planning to marry her, don't attend her church if she can't attend yours. The proper thing is for her to attend your church, she can be wearing whatever she wanna wear outside your church.

mcfynest:


all she wants is a church that will welcome her, yes she is ibo, we discussed on finding another church, but she says we we would be attending her church for now! Am on probation now sef, so i gat to start coming to ha church n ha bible study crew so she can know am serious. I understand we are both ib the relationship together, but i feel am the one who should be doing what she is doing. Am i too gentle or wat I Just tire, i am not even listening to my friends advice sef, cos they said i am a definition of LOVE MUGU.

ds z turning to sth else...y must it b her church? even she shld learn n start attendin ur church since u r d man. or r u truly a definition of love mugu?

Mintayo:
This is a hard one. But you two need to Discuss..
Do you think you can attend her church? Do you really know her church? I mean really?
Plus I feel she should be attending your church.
Please,if you are planning to marry her, don't attend her church if she can't attend yours. The proper thing is for her to attend your church, she can be wearing whatever she wanna wear outside your church.

hmmmmmmm

mcfynest:




hmmmmmmm

I can attend any church. But my spouse can't tell me that when we marry, I will be attending her church, it's not done.
She has to attend my church. These are things that causes tension in homes.

Mintayo:

I can attend any church. But my spouse can't tell me that when we marry, I will be attending her church, it's not done.
She has to attend my church. These are things that causes tension in homes.

Guess i would need to see her on sunday and talk to her, my plan was that i go for bible study in her church but we will attend my church. Thanks all for the advice. Realy appreaciate a man contributing also, the female were not biazed also. Am considering marrying her, but she just gotta bend i guess.

She does not have to bend, you need to find a common ground.