Hiroshize:
well... I am a bookworm, I've read many many novels and literature in general, and I have always wondered where are the indigenous writers, but here you are.


I have to say your story is well plotted(a good story line, although not so sublime), started well, you were able to keep us glued and waiting in anticipation.

The story progressed , got to the mid-point, and gradually(although quick oo ) moved to the end-point. Overly nice.

You kept in touch with time (where you mentioned Charles made the application to prevent unsolicited spam sms ).

Am looking forward to more stories(especially a series category ) , don't fade out. Maybe you could make it an electronic series.

HIROSHIZE

thanks a lot bro, I love your criticism and motivation. I will never fade, the next project I want to pick up is kinda research intensive, and well... The curent situation is not helping matters, but with these kind words of yours and other readers I will strive.


P.s I am borrowing ur signature...

Alas!!!!! the story has end

I cant believe I wasn't watching a film, because this (second to the last and last) update comes in form of a movie, and I so much love it, now to what I have to offer... .

Like I said, I'm not a (die hard) far of a crime story, but believe me, this one caught me totally. Starting from where it start to the last scene of this show, believe I see not (too much of) a flaws.

The settings, characters, plot, suspense, story line, and even the back ground of that settings is up to its standard I will say. But, towards the ending, you make it look unrealistic and look foreign. ..

Or is it not set in Nigeria ni?

Look at it from this perspective;

You said Tiffany disarm a policeman, pointing a gun to everybody and was told that the gun is empty, and she(immediately) surender , Without her even atempt to shoot.. .

Mehn, that doesn't look Nigeria
(or may be I'm missing something here)

Just saying thou

And the Final face off, I will say its un-realistic, from where you (charles) have been admited or let me say remanded... Lol till the last end.. ..













You seriously have an nice work done here sir, and Dont forget, a mention will be okay whenever you wanna start your next story....

Best of luck as per the voting stuff sir

To those of you who would like to join in the
Nairaland Writers Pre-Collaboration, kindly show
you interest by sending your messages to any (or
both) of the two e-mail addresses below:
1. Larrysun4real@yahoo.com
2. midyoungstar@gmail.com
Or send a Whatsapp message to
+2347066611666
Thank you, God bless you.




Iosprince i tink dis is a gud avenue for u tovtest ur onions beta

I was 100% entertained.
I love watching these kinds of movies.
I didn't know how interesting reading it could be until I read this.
You did quite a great job Iosprince. I dey trip 4 ur imagination. I'll definitely follow the next one.
Thumbs Up!!!!

What a wonderful piece. You are truely a creative writer even though your story is short but yet filled with much actions and suspence. Although your finish lines were not so clear.

Kudos brother!

I don cast my vote too o... lol.

@last end of story, but the end is not as captivating as the begining, no suspense, jus plain, u should work on that

Wonderful climax

Its really short o, i'm not sure it will take more than 10pages to put this in a book.
You brotzer are a good writer.
do not forget to let me know if you start another story, me like your style of writing, makes me remember Sir Royver

Wow....this right here is one awesome piece. P.S. I only say 'awesome' thrice a year, and now you've made me say awesome twi...Shi't, three times already. Now I won't get to say *...* again for the rest of the year. Anyways, the story deserves them all.

Captivating from beginning to end, although the last episodes had you mixing up characters but hey, that one I can overlook. Keep up the good work bro, and I look forward to reading more of your *...* works soon.

Cheers.

Iosprince....
I no get adjective for you today...
But I want you to know that you are GOOD...
I don vote o...
Please vote iosprince and buhari....

I see wonderful comments everywhere, thank you all very much. To those of you who pointed out my flaws, I can't thank you guys enough. We all did a wonderful job and thank god you noticed my mistskes, that way I will be able to improve and I will owe it all to you guys.

I support harjibolar, mention ur fans oh! I gotta read more!

And yeah, long time....

Intresting to know that Ken was the culprit,and who would have thought Tiffany was involved. Once again prince,you made the best outa this. Nothing to criticise bout, I believe previous critics said it all.
Well,am always watching. Keep being the best bro.

it will be unfair if i pass without commenting.my guy you pen is still fresh utilize it more and never let it get dry.thanks for finishing this story.

kudos bro,really enjoyed ur story

I was not really surprised at how d story turned out. Like I said before, it was scripted out of one of Hadley chase popular novels. But I still think iosprince did a wonderful job with d twists he added to d storyline. Nice job all in all.

Saying dis is interesting wud be an understatement...really captivating nd amazing...keep it flowing bro!

Good job