moca:
Nonsense!

Assuming u r the one who couldnt give ur wife belle nko?

Can she go outside?

Can she tell d world her boo is impotent?

Warped and myopic nigerian mentality.

What happened to adoption?

Jeez!

What is wrong with these folks.
SMH

i dont kno o... true family is more dan bld & genes. d tin vexn me is d hypocritic dude contemplatn leavn his wyf despite his 'xtianity'. oga cnt rmbr his weddn vows again.

ifeoluwasegun:
Bluntly said NOT RIGHT!

********modified********

But now that you're into it already, I'll just advise that you always see your dear wife, your matrimonial first wife the mother if the house.

See her as owning everything you have, so the thoughts of sending her out won't come into fruition.

As for your lucky secretary, she's just a bearer. See her as a contractual bearer of your property. And after the contract successfully completed, terminate her appointment in and out of your office, but don't forget to compensate her heavily for that favour she's doing. E no easy to nurture sperm to foetus now.

Perhaps if you need the second child later nd U can't still not get it from home, you can still contact her IF AVAILABLE to renew your durable contract. Now this time, don't forget to put duration, possibly you can have a paperwork too, to help your family...all these with the direct consent of your Matrimonial woman!

My Candid Advise!

well spoken... u smart.

Chuksgeo:
Yes it is very wrong, wait on God, for there shall be none barren in zion"

who said is wrong? pls can someone tell me where God said it's wrong.

stinggy:


But some are created for polygamy, why accuse them?

I jes dey luk yhu

omooba2019:
Have you confirmed if the problem lies with you or your wife? How are you sure you are the owner of the pregancy? Allow your wife to also try her luck let her also see a man to get her pregnant while still under your roof, to confirm her own side of the story. Then you both keep those bastards. Since you aren't wise enough to go seek medical help nd get solution to your problem. Having 2wives will give u lack of peace sending away your wife? Sure your conscience will judge you till you die. And now you remember you are a deeper life member, sure you forget that while sleeping with your secretary, you will still have to forget the church cos it will add to your heavy heart nd burden

Bless you my sister

confirm carefully if the baby is even yours

Mr man my advice for you is that no one here can give you advice that is sufficient for this trouble, you are a man you wear the shoes,so think for yourself like a man. But make sure you show love to your wife.

Truckpusher:
Why is everyone blaming the op with even one VickyRotex asking him to allow his wife to test run another man .
This sensitive issue has destroyed a lot of homes and most of you that are barely 19 and could face such dilemma in the nearest future are just blabbing , making noises - Wait until you find yourselves in his shoes.

I've seen this issue destroy once a happy marriage and of course guess who lost it all at the end of the day - The same woman that kicked up dust here and there even as I do not respect the man's initial decision but he told me to my face when I confronted him about his domestic issue because we were pretty close though he's my boss and older and he was somebody I was looking up to but the man simply told me that he has made his decisions based on what he wants and not what the society wants.But the same society pressured the woman to do this and do that but when the shiit hit fan she was left all alone to fight her fight , even her elder brothers fought on her side but as time goes on they all started minding their business after all it was her fight .

Op , what you did was selfish and will only make your wife seek for advice from the people around her and that is the beginning of your problems and hers too - At the end of the day both of you only succeeded in destroying yourselves.

the Op is an IDIOT!!! How is he sure he isn't the one with problems when most men Nigerian men won't go with their wives to the hospital to get checked for infertility.

It may be that even the secretarys pregnancy isn't his, she might have decided to bring another man's baby.

Some idiot guys will come to blame nigerian woman for giving another man's kids to their husbands, how won't they with this kind of fucccked up mentality Nigerian men have.

What happened to adoption Giving an orphaned child an opportunity to experience the love a parent can offer?

Selfish Nigerians, only thinking of their selfish self and interests.

jadelyn007:
the Op is an IDIOT!!! How is he sure he isn't the one with problems when most men Nigerian men won't go with their wives to the hospital to get checked for infertility.

It may be that even the secretarys pregnancy isn't his, she might have decided to bring another man's baby.

Some idiot guys will come to blame nigerian woman for giving another man's kids to their husbands, how won't they with this kind of fucccked up mentality Nigerian men have.

What happened to adoption Giving an orphaned child an opportunity to experience the love a parent can offer?

Selfish Nigerians, only thinking of their selfish self and interests.

I'm not the op o.

But, don't you think that you're generalizing ?

[quote author=ProphetUdeme post=29897097][/quote]If your wife should be the same that committed this abomination that you're shamelessly sharing with us here, I know you would have push her out of your home or at worst sue her for committing adultery. And yet u are proud to call yourself a deeper life member ! May God have mercy on you!!!.

Truckpusher:
I'm not the op o.

But, don't you think that you're generalizing ?

sorry, misfired arrow meant for the op, yes, I'm generalizing but I am very sure that the scenario I just painted fits the Op's situation.

jadelyn007:
sorry, misfired arrow meant for the op, yes, I'm generalizing but I am very sure that the scenario I just painted fits the Op's situation.

Calm down sis, there are handful of Nigerian men that wouldn't tread that lane - For their sake please address the he-goat and not an entire nation.

[quote author=ProphetUdeme post=29897097][/quote]

Luke 16:18 ESV / 307 helpful votes
“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 ESV / 291 helpful votes
To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

God hates divorce or person marrying a second wife.

you are thinking clearly and that is the same way the op ought to think. Before i forget yoruba adage says pasan ti a fi naa iyale o wa lori aja fun iyawo so bewarned

elnino3:
Two quick questions
1. Is it wrong for a woman to marry a second husband if the first one cannot impregnate her?
2. How are you sure the baby is truly yours?

i am happy for the first time nairaland men supporting the woman God is great

philfrey08:
U say you are a Christian. That means you swore an oat in church to be faithful, loyal and honest to your wife and to love her for better or worse.

You didn't keep the sacred vow, you cheated on her and God wouldn't b happy with you.

Talk to your wife about it, she can adopt the child as hers. Be a real man and show her how much you love her. It would b bad to leave her after 14yrs.

abeg go meet ur pastor, whatever you discussed is OK by me

sim37:
one reason u should confirm ur woman pregnant before married

the bible says what so ever is not of faith is sin. We hope on God thru faith to make the marriage fruitful and not testing her fertility before marriage. We walk by faith and not by sight bro

OP why can't you be faithful to your wife and trust God. Do you think God cannot give you more children than you can handle, why complicate things by having an affair and a child outside marriage. Remember Abraham and Sarah, we are still suffering from the impatience of Sarah when she asked him to sleep with her help. To each his own, good luck

Truckpusher:
Calm down sis, there are handful of Nigerian men that wouldn't tread that lane - For their sake please address the he-goat and not an entire nation.

dats true, its unfortunate that by the time he discovers the secretary's child isn't his he'll start yapping how all women are evil.

Just like some nairaland boys who go around spewing trash about how girls n all this and that when they have only been messing with the wrong kind of girls.
When u advice them, they think u hate dem till they get hurt and dumped.
You see a girl all made up with brazilian weaves n all that, u go asking her out ignoring the plain girl in natural hair, later u come complaining how all girls are materialistic.

Seriously I'm fed up with nairaland boys and they useless threads, more reason many of them are broke and will remain broke aSses blaming the government for their every misfortunes.

Truckpusher, you should talk to your brothers more often, should make better use of themselves.

macof:
I see there are many fools here using foreign concepts( ie. Christianity) to judge this


Ask yourself what does your tradition dictate? Surely being African, you can get a second wife. ... especially with the excuse of the first wife being barren.

Your first wife should remain your first, mother of the house. ..nothing should change that. ..if the pregnant one outside can't deal with it then take your child and leave her

Best you still try all available means to having a child with your first wife. ..never give up on that

ha ha. Macof you don come again. You sef. I wonder how you really admire and prefer your cultural heritage than our religion Christianity

skyfullofstars:


I was saying it cause they're all wasting their precious time writing long answers to help you, and you will do nothing with the answers...

the man is a nairalander but hiding his identity and concealed.

Most cases of infertility nowadays are from the men, but African mentality is that the woman is always at fault wen it comes to infertility, chances are ds new lady has brought pregnancy frm s/where knowing dats ur prob.
Don't add to ur issues by raising a bastard.
Dr ar alternative measures u and ur wife can try eg ivf.
Ultimately, waiting on the lord is the best option.

jadelyn007:
the Op is an IDIOT!!! How is he sure he isn't the one with problems when most men Nigerian men won't go with their wives to the hospital to get checked for infertility.

It may be that even the secretarys pregnancy isn't his, she might have decided to bring another man's baby.

Some idiot guys will come to blame nigerian woman for giving another man's kids to their husbands, how won't they with this kind of fucccked up mentality Nigerian men have.

What happened to adoption Giving an orphaned child an opportunity to experience the love a parent can offer?

Selfish Nigerians, only thinking of their selfish self and interests.

pls quit blaming the man. He is on nairaland and the more you guys judged him the more he is giving up. For Christ sake its been 14 years of marriage without an issue, why cant you be lenient on him. Btw happy birthday dear

ProphetUdeme:
pls quit blaming the man. He is on nairaland and the more you guys judged him the more he is giving up. For Christ sake its been 14 years of marriage without an issue, why cant you be lenient on him. Btw happy birthday dear

thanks for the birthday wish.

If I don't blame/judge him who should I blame/judge, his innocent wife who has spent 14yrs of her life trusting God with him, or the secretary who siezed the opportunity the op gave her.

This man has successfully ruined 14yrs of his happiness. He foolishly thought that not having a biological child is the worst thing that can happen to him, No. Falling into the trap of a jezebel/delilah is just the beginning of his woes.

Let him divorce his wife, he deserves his secretary.
I repeat, any girl who can have an affair with you, knowing fully well that you are married can kill you without even baiting an eyelid.

sainty2k3:
I pray for everyone reading this that u will not experience barrenness.
if u are passing through what the man is passing through u will know that under such pressure anything can be justified

I disagree with you. I have been there before and my husband stood by me and today we have two kids to the glory of God.
When you trust in God, you will never be disappointed.

You guys should go and adopt a child instead of you going for a second wife. I bet you don't want to go with the challenges of having a second wife

ProphetUdeme:
they had love escapades many times. So its obviously certain that he is the father of the unborn child.

Several love escapades don't make him a man, what if he was shooting blanks just as he has been shooting blanks in d wife for those years. Afaterall he didn't mention anythin in d post about confirmation results that the wife is truly barren. Anyways, barren or not, I still feel this new lady has devil written all over her cos firstly, she made d move to date him when she definatley knew he was married and nw said she wants to move in and he should send the wife out.... Hmmmmm! I see doom for this man jare

macof:
I see there are many fools here using foreign concepts( ie. Christianity) to judge this


Ask yourself what does your tradition dictate? Surely being African, you can get a second wife. ... especially with the excuse of the first wife being barren.

Your first wife should remain your first, mother of the house. ..nothing should change that. ..if the pregnant one outside can't deal with it then take your child and leave her

Best you still try all available means to having a child with your first wife. ..never give up on that

excuse me
How dare you talk about what african culture dictates
African culture taught us to be true to our words and Op wasn't true to his words/vows. He swore to be faithful to her that was why she married him in the first place. So don't you dare bring african culture into this.
He swore for better,for worse in church!!! Not in a shrine. Kumuyi's church for that matter.

ProphetUdeme:
ha ha. Macof you don come again. You sef. I wonder how you really admire and prefer your cultural heritage than our religion Christianity

Its very simple really.

Lemme use this very basic analogy ...

You have a very nice wife that you married yourself, one who has always been doing whatever YOU NEEDED her to do..she can be hard headed at times but all you have achieved - including the peace and tolerance in your house is due to her . Now would you prefer a wife that some STRANGER comes to "sell" to you. .. A wife that orders you around, telling you to do things that a Man shouldn't be doing after forcing you to drive your former wife away on "unproven" grounds of witchcraft and cannibalism.. .a wife that takes portion of your food to the strangers that brought her...yet because of this wife no peace with you and your family, she is so foreign she doesn't understand a thing but condemns everything

Which would you prefer?

ProphetUdeme:
they had love escapades many times. So its obviously certain that he is the father of the unborn child.

is dat so?so that is how you know who owns a pregnancy?smh for you

jadelyn007:
excuse me
How dare you talk about what african culture dictates
African culture taught us to be true to our words and Op wasn't true to his words/vows. He swore to be faithful to her that was why she married him in the first place. So don't you dare bring african culture into this.
He swore for better,for worse in church!!! Not in a shrine. Kumuyi's church for that matter.

Why should any sane African man swear in a church? Marital vows should be between the couple making their own terms of the relationship...even family members don't have to bud in

Ur church vow thing is staged, nobody puts that in mind. ..we all just say "Yes. .I do" because we seen it no TV ... the real vow is between them...something probably made months before the wedding


Is it not all this church vows that lead to the long row of divorce cases each day in the western world?