Just wait,God time is d best.

Why is everyone blaming the op with even one VickyRotex asking him to allow his wife to test run another man .
This sensitive issue has destroyed a lot of homes and most of you that are barely 19 and could face such dilemma in the nearest future are just blabbing , making noises - Wait until you find yourselves in his shoes.

I've seen this issue destroy once a happy marriage and of course guess who lost it all at the end of the day - The same woman that kicked up dust here and there even as I do not respect the man's initial decision but he told me to my face when I confronted him about his domestic issue because we were pretty close though he's my boss and older and he was somebody I was looking up to but the man simply told me that he has made his decisions based on what he wants and not what the society wants.But the same society pressured the woman to do this and do that but when the shiit hit fan she was left all alone to fight her fight , even her elder brothers fought on her side but as time goes on they all started minding their business after all it was her fight .

Op , what you did was selfish and will only make your wife seek for advice from the people around her and that is the beginning of your problems and hers too - At the end of the day both of you only succeeded in destroying yourselves.

Some women can be deceitful.Sir, a lady who knew your marital status and still went ahead to have an affair with you, isn't trustworthy.It's possible she has other guys out there who got her pregnant and out of desperation to get married, she's putting the pregnancy on you.I believe you told her about your predicament and she used it to her advantage.

It would be better you see a Doc along with your wife so as to know what the problem is exactly, or have you been visiting the hospital before now? Have you thought of it that it might not actually be your wife who has the problem? What if it's your fault? Do you know her past to conclude it's her fault (has she ever done an abortion)?

Sir, before you end it with her, be sure of what you are doing.

If he is a christian, it is not right to marry second wife. You can only marry other wife if only if your wife is promiscuous, then you divorce her before marrying again. if not it is for better for worse.

I suggest they should adopt a day old baby.

Abeg if say na the woman want to marry other man on the premise that her husband could not give her a child, the all world for call her Names. Y must it be woman that end up at receiving end in Africa marriage. My follow men lets have change of heart and treat them(our wife) the way we want them to treat us.

Peace

Are you sure that you the father of the unborn child?
Doesnt she know that you are married? If she knows then she knows she will be the second wife unless she has ulterior motives. Dna test please

Yanga de sleep trouble wan go wake am up. You better wait until the other gives birth, confirms if the baby is yours before you take any step. That your wife isn't pregnant now does not mean all hope is gone. By the time you bring that woman in na that time you go know say aye o pe meji cause she go show you shege! Yanga de sleep trouble wan go wake am up. You better wait until the other gives birth, confirms if the baby is yours before you take any step. That your wife isn't pregnant now does not mean all hope is gone. By the time you bring that woman in na that time you go know say aye o pe meji cause she go show you shege!

Don't cast your first wife away in a hurry Mr, the lady knew you needed a child and now claim she's pregnant. Let her have the baby but don't take her as a second wife.

Marriage is not all about kids, why didn't you adopt a child all this years ?

@ op. U ve done wrong but u can rectify dis by confessing to ur wife. Then get an apartment for the scheming bit ch. Take good care of both, once the secretary delivers. Ensure u do a dna test, as I ve said bfor in dis forum, a third of men are not the true fathers of dia kids and I was right on a later thread not authored by me.
The office gal obviously knew wat u wanted and hs been targeting u from get go, trust me she has long gone diabolical. Better tell her ur will givs all to ur wife and u ll neva change it, incase she starts plannin more evil.
Besides, u nid deliverance. Go to scoan.

1)how are you even sure this childcarried by madam secretary is your? if she could have an affair with a married man she could do other things too.
2) did you do medical tests to determine whether it was you or your wife that had fertility issues.
3) you already know what Christianity says about what you wanna do and what you did.
4)the grass always appears greener in another person's yard

Yanga de sleep trouble wan go wake am up. You better wait until the other gives birth, confirms if the baby is yours before you take any step. That your wife isn't pregnant now does not mean all hope is gone. By the time you bring that woman in na that time you go know say aye o pe meji cause she go show you shege!

Did u marry your first wife for the sake of having children or u married for love. If u married for love my brother and u claim u still love her and then u send her away because she is barren -making her face shame and pains ,my brother that second union maybe a cause of regret for you sooner or later. Keep your wife and keep your child(only heavens know if its yours). Let the way u handle this matter be a good point of reference for pple around u. Beware of this secretary.....desperate women often make terrible wives. Dont do what wld make u ruin your life

You've already made the mistake but sending your wife away would be very wrong. The only option u have is to wait for the baby and have a DNA test and if it's truly yours take a second wife only if if u are capable of taking care of them but if u can't just legitimize ur child cos u would want a Bastard.

Have you confirmed if the problem lies with you or your wife? How are you sure you are the owner of the pregancy? Allow your wife to also try her luck let her also see a man to get her pregnant while still under your roof, to confirm her own side of the story. Then you both keep those bastards. Since you aren't wise enough to go seek medical help nd get solution to your problem. Having 2wives will give u lack of peace sending away your wife? Sure your conscience will judge you till you die. And now you remember you are a deeper life member, sure you forget that while sleeping with your secretary, you will still have to forget the church cos it will add to your heavy heart nd burden

1- A brief look at polygamy in the Old Testament:

Let us look at some of the verses from the Old Testament that allow polygamy:

In Exodus 21:10, a man can marry an infinite amount of women without any limits to how many he can marry.

In 2 Samuel 5:13; 1 Chronicles 3:1-9, 14:3, King David had six wives and numerous concubines.

In 1 Kings 11:3, King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines.

In 2 Chronicles 11:21, King Solomon's son Rehoboam had 18 wives and 60 concubines.

In Deuteronomy 21:15 "If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons...."

There are a lot more verses from the Old Testament that allow polygamy, but I think that the above are sufficient enough to prove my point.

Before I present the verses from the New Testament that allow polygamy, I first would like to prove to you that Jesus peace be upon him did honor the laws of the Old Testament, and did order his followers (the Christians as we call them) to follow the laws of the Old Testament:

Jesus said: "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law (the Old Testament) or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke or a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law (the Old Testament) until everything is accomplished. (Matthew 5:17-18)"

Christians always say as an excuse "Oh this law doesn't exist in the New Testament, it is only the Old Testament." Well, according to Matthew 5:17-18 above, we clearly see that Jesus honored the Old Testament, and forces Christians to follow the unmodified laws of it that have not been replaced by newer ones in the New Testament. The Old Testament as we clearly see above does indeed allow polygamy without a shadow of a doubt !!.

There is not a single verse from the New Testament that prohibits polygamy. Christians usually mistakenly present the following verses from the Bible to prove that polygamy in the New Testament is not allowed:

Matthew 19:1-12 "1. When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to
the other side of the Jordan.
2. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
4. "Haven't you read," he (Jesus) replied, "that at the beginning the Creator `made them male and female,'
5. and said, `For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ?
6. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
7. "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
8. Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
9. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
10. The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
11. Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given.
12. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

In the above verses, we see that Jesus was approached with a question about whether or not it is allowed for a man to divorce his wife in Matthew 19:3. Jesus immediately referred to the Old Testament for the answer in Matthew 19:4. He referred to Adam and Eve, one man and one woman. The Old Testament does talk about the story of Adam and Eve as one husband and one wife. However, the Old Testament which Jesus had referred to in Matthew 19:3 does allow polygamy.

Also, when a man becomes a one flesh with his wife in Matthew 19:5-6, this doesn't mean that the man can't be one flesh with another woman. He can be one flesh with his first wife, and one flesh with his second wife, and one flesh with his third wife and so on.... To further prove this point, let us look at the following from the New Testament:

Matthew 22:23-32 "23. That same day the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question.
24. "Teacher," they said, "Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and have children for him.
25. Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother.
26. The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh.
27. Finally, the woman died.
28. Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?"
29. Jesus replied, "You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God.
30. At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.
31. But about the resurrection of the dead--have you not read what God said to you,
32. `I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob' ? He is not the God of the dead but of the living."

In Matthew 22:24-28, the Jews referred to Deuteronomy 25:5 from the Old Testament where it states that if a woman's husband dies, and she didn't have any kids from him, then she must marry his brother regardless whether he had a wife or not. When the Jews brought this situation up to Jesus in Matthew 22:24-28, Jesus did not prohibit at all for the childless widow to marry her husband's brother (even if he were married). Instead, Jesus replied to them by saying that we do not marry in heaven, and we will be like angels in heaven (Matthew 22:30).

So in other words, if Jesus allowed for a widow to marry her former husband's brother even if he were married, then this negates the Christians' claim about the Bible prohibiting polygamy. A man can be one flesh with more than one woman. In the case of Matthew 22:24-28, the man can be one flesh with his wife, and one flesh with his deceased brother's wife. Also keep in mind that Exodus 21:10 allows a man to marry an infinite amount of women, and Deuteronomy 21:15 allows a man to marry more than one wife.

[quote author=ProphetUdeme post=29897097][/quote]

you derailed the very moment you lived a life of adultery with your secretary, and the lord has abandoned you and right now you are dinning with the devil , when the secretary was making advances at you that was when the devil was making his last attempt at you , if you had resisted this temptation the lord would have blessed you with a child but u failed the last and final test. do u remember what happened to king David when he committed adultery with Uriah wife, the child still later died. you have had patience for 14 years but it was all for nothing cos you failed when it matter most. Ichabod has departed from Israel

U are free to marry another wife but on a better side it should be in agreement withth your wife. It never a crime to marry more than one wife.

As a Christian and a deeper life for that matter, you have committed sin by not being faithful. What if you contact HIV from this outsider altomatically you will pass it to your wife. Again how are you sure that you are the one that impregnate her? There is the tendency that she is hanging out with other men. As a Christian you should know that what God has join together your family should not put asunder. If you send her packing and later discover that you are not the one that impregnate the stranger, what will you do?

Your religion doesn't allow polygamy, but it allows adultery right?

Its is better to adopt a child than for you to get a second wife so as to get a child.

Be wise.

moca:
Nonsense!

Assuming u r the one who couldnt give ur wife belle nko?

Can she go outside?

Can she tell d world her boo is impotent?

Warped and myopic nigerian mentality.

What happened to adoption?

Jeez!

What is wrong with these folks.
SMH

pls,pls,pls....adoption isn't an option here. I wouldn't do dat.i think adoption is best done wen u re lookin for a particular gender. For instance: u have three boys,u can adopt a girl and vice-versa.

[quote author=ProphetUdeme post=29897097][/quote]

Bros oP



Abeg...No ask us dis kain question dis early morning biko ...



ASK YA WIFE FIRST!!!

I should assume this is a fiction.
However, who told you you are the owner of the pregnancy from the jezebel?, who told you the sex of the child must certainly be a male? Finally, stop deceiving yourself, you are not a christian yet, you need serious deliverance to become a christian that you so cherished

[quote author=ProphetUdeme post=29897097][/quote]
I will like to ask the following questions to give advise on your matter.
1. Was she not aware you have a wife at home before or did you not tell her you are married. (She must have known that she will be second fiddle (wife) to her)?

2. Must she stay in the same house with her? Why not rent house for her outside.

That being said, I don't know in your culture but in Yoruba culture (I think most tribes in Nigeria do this too) it is the child bearer that is really first wife even if was married after a first wife.

As for your wife, it is better you amicably tell your wife of you impregnating another person. If she wishes, she might leave and might not also leave. Let her make that decision herself. To me, it will be cruel to send her out because you have impregnated a lady.

As for your church, I am not a Christian but I know Abraham took another wife (though with the consent of his wife) after many years of barrenness of his first wife. And aside that, I will advice you have a serious talk with your church pastor/leader and discus this with him, how long you have been married, how your family is hell bent on your wife, your age and other serious matters.

Truckpusher:
Why is everyone blaming the op with even one VickyRotex asking him to allow his wife to test run another man .
This sensitive issue has destroyed a lot of homes and most of you that are barely 19 and could face such dilemma in the nearest future are just blabbing , making noises - Wait until you find yourselves in his shoes.

I've seen this issue destroy once a happy marriage and of course guess who lost it all at the end of the day - The same woman that kicked up dust here and there even as I do not respect the man's initial decision but he told me to my face when I confronted him about his domestic issue because we were pretty close though he's my boss and older and he was somebody I was looking up to but the man simply told me that he has made his decisions based on what he wants and not what the society wants.But the same society pressured the woman to do this and do that but when the shiit hit fan she was left all alone to fight her fight , even her elder brothers fought on her side but as time goes on they all started minding their business after all it was her fight .

Op , what you did was selfish and will only make your wife seek for advice from the people around her and that is the beginning of your problems and hers too - At the end of the day both of you only succeeded in destroying yourselves .

I asked him a question(A rhetorical question). Cos I can rightly predict what his answers would be. I dint tell him to allow her test run.

@bolded, exactly the reason I asked that question. He was Selfish!! Simple!!! And they might end up destroying their home.

He came here to seek for advice after impregnating her, why dint he seek advice before sleeping with her? Cos he knew lots of people will kick against it.

You might be the impotent one if you've been cheating for more than 3 weeks.

Secretary saw you had a need and might have gone out of her way to get it done.

If it's your child, good luck... I sincerely have no advice.

Truly christain? Impreganting someone outsidy ur marriage smh.....sharap u are not christain at first place....you cheated on ur innocent wife... Here you are think of sending her away

Man u are a fake Christian cos, a good Christian will not even think of any affairs outside his marital home, biblical is wrong to bring that woman into ur house.

Use your brain Mr. Man. For 14years you could not father a child and a lady says she is pregnant for you overnight . How sure are you that the baby in her womb is yours? My advice for you is to wait until the baby is born then do a DNA test to ascertain if the child
is yours before you take further action. You will make a big mistake in your life if you allow the new Lady to displace your Wife from
your house. She shouldn't be close to your house just yet.

If you will like ur sister or female loved one believing God for d fruits of the womb to be treated this way, go ahead!

VickyRotex:


I asked him a question(A rhetorical question). Cos I can rightly predict what his answers would be. I dint tell him to allow her test run.

@bolded, exactly the reason I asked that question. He was Selfish!! Simple!!! And they might end up destroying their home.

Well, that's his headache .

This is one reason there should be some form of test running before anything
How can you be dating someone for years and you've not misfired for once.

[quote author=ProphetUdeme post=29897097][/quote]

My brother I feel u pain and I knw waht u goint tru.
Its goin to tak d grace of God for any man @ ur age not to have a child of his own.
Most of d people on nairand making
mouth cannot even wait @ 35 not to tak of 44.
Firstly how do u knw u are not D cos of her not having a child cos in africa women take most of d blame while men are even responsible for being barren.
What steps have u taken to find a solution to d problem spiritual or medical?
Are you legally married?
What agreement do u have with d Lady? Did u promise her marriage or just to flirt.
Since u have taken a step bfor coming here, I guess u have to make sure u are truly responsible for d nw ladys pregncy.
I will not support an abortion, I will not surport polygamy,
I will not support u abandoning d nw lady if truly she is pregnant for u and nairalanders will not stay with u for d rest of ur life. I pity ur wife, i pray she get a solution ASP.
Remember dis africa @times prayers are not solutions to our problem but our INSTINCT