aisha2:


Abeg leave Dinachi alone oh, you want him to trace my IP location and come and fight the mans wife abi lmao

iykedare:
This is hilarious. A woman beating a man? Chai
The man is a weakling. He should learn martial arts,bulk up in the gym and defend himself against an internal boko haram.

soulglo:
This is one of the reasons I would have a hard time living in Nigeria. The stress is too much. I don't know how I could see something like that and let it go. I would report it to the police and will make hell for the police if nothing is done about it. So tell me how I could be happy in Nigeria when I have no choice but to get on the nerves of police officers. That woman should face charges and the man needs to seek help. Abused people sometimes do not even recognize that they are being abused. Someone should have put her under citizens arrest. Tie her ankles together with her wrist like a freaking hog until the cops get there

Timbuktou:
The guy na butty jor. Him wife bloody am he still dey smile like person wey him trouser tear for inside molue. I can understand if this is a one-off incident, you know but, this is disgusting. This man will turn his boys to pansies or abusers, and that's my pain in this story. he needs to man up. He doesn't have to divorce her, he needs to be the man. Right now, he's her bittch.

pickabeau1:
I'm still waiting for the divorce wolves

This thread is too mellow for one that deals with spousal abuse

aisha2:


Sadly if he hits her which is what she wants the whole world will hear that he is an abuser. Violence doesn't pay either way, and how long should the home be turned into a boxing ring?

aisha2:


The man actually said she went to attack a neighbours househelp in their former house severely injuring her which ended in police and court and because of all the wahala they had to relocate. The woman suspected the househelp of sleeping with her husband because the man gave her a ride from the gate of the estate to the house which was a distance and he saw the girl with some luggage.

Timbuktou:
It's not about him punching her. What ever happened to the good old-fashioned method of sending her home? Inviting her parents to talk sense into their daughter. People on the other side may call it barbaric but, in my opinion, it's more effective, in keeping a home/marriage, than divorce which they would favour.

The man needs to be decisive in dealing with this woman or she'll be the death of him

Timbuktou:
It's not about him punching her. What ever happened to the good old-fashioned method of sending her home?

aisha2:


He said they have done that severally and both families are tired. She gets sober apologies and a few months later something sets her off. He is adviced to be patient with her and stop setting her off. Apparently she is extremely jealous and so he has to reduce his interaction to the barest minimum with the opposite sex and if she doesn't suspect him of anything or doesn't " catch " him talking with a lady she is a very sweet loving woman but once any suspicious thing in her mind happens she jumps and attacks him

Timbuktou:
Which is why I said the guy should handle the matter decisively. They should begin with a trial separation of say 3 months while they get a maid to take care of the kids and the woman should be diagnosed and treated what ever illness has possessed her. And the guy should be firm too, the children's lives are at stake here.

What does the future hold for this man when he becomes aged and still married to this same woman. Nna, biko, this man is tres weak.

pickabeau1:


This technique worked wonders in the old days
The old men knew best

Timbuktou:
Isn't it strange that in the age of enlightenment in which we find ourselves, society is degenerating before our very eyes. Yet, these virgins will come on here and denigrate wisdom that made our ancestors survive evolution. Too much knowledge, too little wisdom.

aisha2:


Thats if he doesn't die from high blood pressure and flower bases before his time.

I think the seperation is the best, she needs help from a professional and not from him

Timbuktou:
This is what he signed up for. Marriage is not for the faint of heart. And I guarantee you that it's a new generation church they attend. my peops over at the African Church would have brought him a more temperate sister.

I'd also like to say that this thing grew from somewhere. Let's find out; has she always been like this? Are her parents shocked? More than likely, the man is of the school of thought that you never hit a woman no matter what she does. While that line is politically correct, I assure you that at a point in this marriage, a slap would have been imperative.

I would not be surprised that there's one small boy tidying this woman's congo and that that man has not even had her handle his balls not to talk of head not to talk of...that man disgusts me. Does he not have friends or brothers, or even a mother? His mother should move in immediately. Please, tell him to bring one badass female relative of his.

aisha2:


Unfortunately they were with me for less than two hours. I must admit I was shaken by the event. I have had cases of abuse but never directly dealt with one till today. Abuse is just the same oh, same manner of operation oh abuser will make you feel guilty tell you its your fault, if you don't do this you won't force me to react. The abused will blame themselves. Just sad

Timbuktou:
I know what you mean. You might need to help out by reaching out to him again and forcing him to seek help from those who genuinely love him. I cannot imagine myself beaten by my wife so disgracefully. What ever stopped him from carrying her and locking up in a room till he was set to leave or whatever. This man is supposed to be the law in that home, he's abusing his power and authority.

aisha2:


Sadly till the man decides he needs help and reaches out there is little I can do. The woman already hates him interacting with other women, even when I dragged him out she had unprintable words for me. Till he decides he needs help even though I had given him options when we spoke and he decides to use them my hands are tied. Sadly thats what we face with abuse victims trefuseno matter what you do until the victim decides he or she has had enough its you they will regard as homebreaker

Timbuktou:
Lol. It's unlikely he'll seek more help outside the usual "havens" of church and extended family. I'm just particular about the kids, this environment is harmful to them. They very likely end up career abusers themselves or enjoying abuse when it presents itself.

aisha2:


The man actually said she went to attack a neighbours househelp in their former house severely injuring her which ended in police and court and because of all the wahala they had to relocate. The woman suspected the househelp of sleeping with her husband because the man gave her a ride from the gate of the estate to the house which was a distance and he saw the girl with some luggage.

When I was calling police the man asked me not to that I would just add to his problems

aisha2:
Domestic Violence in marriage is a sensitive issue. We are raised to believe marriage is for better for worse and no matter what happens a couple should work towards making the marriage last forever.

However, what happens when one spouse cant seem control their temper and minor disagreements escalate to physical, mental and emotional violence? Do we encourage the spouse to hold on till death takes one of them or do we encourage them to get help possibly be away from each other?

This morning, I was a little ill and so could not go out of the house. I attempted to rest a little when I woke up due to violent screams from the house 2 doors away. I was scared because the woman was screaming on top of her voice, I ran to ask my house maid what was going on and she said its from the new neighbours and its a regular occurance. I dressed up and headed down thinking it was the woman getting beating. I got there and met estate security officers pleading with the woman to let the man go.

The man sat quietly and obviously ashamed of what was going on while he bleed from his head and the woman holding his shirt very tightly. The kids were afraid and crying, I asked my maid to take them to my place and give them some snacks.

I joined the estate security in begging the woman to let him go, when that failed I threatened her and actually took my phone to call and report that was when she let him go.

I collected the mans car key and asked that he take a change of clothes and the kids lunch boxes so when he changes he can drop them in school and also proceed to work.

We took the items and left the house while madam kept screaming at the top of her voice.
The kids ran and hugged their dad immediately we walked in, and he kept petting them assuring them it will be okay.

I must confess this is one part of domestic violence i never witnessed, its normally the woman I get to drag out of the house with the kids not the man.

I showed him to the guesy room so he could reshower and change, he thanked me and kept apologising and attempting to explain that his wife was not a bad woman that she just looses her temper from time to time but he is sure by the time he gets back he wi meet her sober and calm.

I asked if they had tried counseling he said yes and that it was normally and small issue, and he had been advised by their church elders to be more patient with her as she always promises to change. He said they had to leave their former house due to related violence issues and she is actually getting better. These kind of responses are normally the response you get from a battered woman I was shocked to see a man giving same response, he had been adviced to see this madness as normal which required him being patient and not her getting help.

The fight of the day was started because she found a lunch reciept in his pocket and it was from a hotel. His explanation that it was a working lunch didn't appease madam as she started the quarrel in the night and when he prepared for work in the morning she denied him exit claiming he was going out again to mess around. His attempt to free himself earned him a vase on his head.

I am still in shock, he changed, dressed up and took the kids to school almost 3 hours late, I adviced that he go somewhere for a few days but he laughed it off and said its a minor issue which they will settle.

Violence and it's effects are the same on both genders, how do we keep telling this man that this madness is normal? Is it the day she will hit him with a pestle that family and church will wake up? What about the frightened children? Should they also believe that this is normal?

fem29:


Wow this is crazy, you should have gotten her arrested. She needs to feel the wrath of the law. Just like any man who beats his spouse should be arrested. There was s NEVER any excuse for violence and it should never be tolerated!

soulglo:


I still would have called the police. Right there in front of him. Then let her try to attempt what she did to her husband to me. It's this type of person you make your life mission to finish. She keeps getting away with it that's why she keeps doing it. Based on the little we know she should have already spent time in jail. If someone had kept with it and made sure the police and courts did their job there's no way she would not be an ex-convict by now

aisha2:


Exactly. I normally get very upset with abused women who stay and give excuses, today's experience was out of this world

Timbuktou:
I can only imagine the scene. False screams and unlikely victims. A true nollywood classic. The added information of the woman verbally attacking you only proves her illness. What a shame.

aisha2:


My maid said the screams were a normal occurance oh. I threatened her and bullies are afraid of being confronted so their victims too won't learn to confront them.
Imagine if I hadn't gone I would have stayed in my house and being abusing the poor man for being the abuser.

freecocoa:
If I don't personally know a couple going through this, I for doubt this story.

The woman I know, broke down the door to the room her hubby locked himself in, to get away from her with a hammer, poured water on the bed he was lying on just to get to him, wetin cause fight? He didn't come home in time to turn on the gen for her.

This grown man called his mother around past 12 midnight, crying like a baby just so he won't commit murder, his ma kept begging him to restrain himself since he's done so thus far. They dated for over 8 years before getting married and in the course of dating, she used to smash things, hit him, tear his shirt and all, still he married her, she always promised to change till this last incident. This is why I find it difficult to believe that someone who hits once, won't do it again.