aisha2:


Wow God save us from crazy people oh

My dear, many are mad but few are roaming (especially in Nigeria), I have become a lot better than I used to be with human relationship ever since I realized this.

freecocoa:
. They dated for over 8 years before getting married and in the course of dating, she used to smash things, hit him, tear his shirt and all, still he married her, she always promised to change till this last incident.

A handsome uppercut (sorry Dinachi), would have sufficed. Why was he crying to his mother on the phone? He should have kicked her trifling arze out the door. Here's what I learned from a friend when some omo oniles came to cause trouble, record their rants and stoke their anger with a word or two. Invite them for peace talks and invite a lawyer and police, record the entire shebang and make them sign an undertaking, meanwhile, the will leaves nothing to her. Et voila, problem solved.

Timbuktou:
A handsome uppercut (sorry Dinachi), would have sufficed. Why was he crying to his mother on the phone? He should have kicked her trifling arze out the door. Here's what I learned from a friend when some omo oniles came to cause trouble, record their rants and stoke their anger with a word or two. Invite them for peace talks and invite a lawyer and police, record the entire shebang and make them sign an undertaking, meanwhile, the will leaves nothing to her. Et voila, problem solved.

You give her and uppercut and she falls, hits her head somewhere and dies, what next?

This your friend na badt guy o, you can't compare omo oniles with a marriage na, this is his wife we are talking about, that approach is a long thing if you asked me. I'd have suggested not marrying her at all, but since this is where they are now, divorcing won't be such a bad idea because I highly doubt she can change.

He had to call his mother because he was running out of patience and didn't know what else to do, quarrel wey start since around 8 linger till past 12, is that woman normal? My dear, things dey happen o.

freecocoa:
You give her and uppercut and she falls, hits her head somewhere and dies, what next?

This your friend na badt guy o, you can't compare omo oniles with a marriage na, this is his wife we are talking about, that approach is a long thing if you asked me. I'd have suggested not marrying her at all, but since this is where they are now, divorcing won't be such a bad idea because I highly doubt she can change.

He had to call his mother because he was running out of patience and didn't know what else to do, quarrel wey start since around 8 linger till past 12, is that woman normal? My dear, things dey happen o.

Uppercut part was just comic relief

Well, these people are married now, aren't they? The omo onile method might work because she now has to be careful nothing happens to the guy. You said she broke down a door, what if it had fallen on the husband's head, what then? I wouldn't say divorce is the best option, seriously. It all still boils down to manning up and showing her superiority in every ramification possible, and I'd stop eating in that house. If she loves him but can't help her outbursts, emotional ploys might yet straighten her out.

He should have left the house got two oloshos and let them drain him of evry fluid in his body. His main problem is oneitis. Once that is cured, he'll better know how to handle that wife of his.

Timbuktou:

Uppercut part was just comic relief

Well, these people are married now, aren't they? The omo onile method might work because she now has to be careful nothing happens to the guy. You said she broke down a door, what if it had fallen on the husband's head, what then? I wouldn't say divorce is the best option, seriously. It all still boils down to manning up and showing her superiority in every ramification possible, and I'd stop eating in that house. If she loves him but can't help her outbursts, emotional ploys might yet straighten her out.

He should have left the house got two oloshos and let them drain him of evry fluid in his body. His main problem is oneitis. Once that is cured, he'll better know how to handle that wife of his.

You no well.

Timbuktou:

Uppercut part was just comic relief

Well, these people are married now, aren't they? The omo onile method might work because she now has to be careful nothing happens to the guy. You said she broke down a door, what if it had fallen on the husband's head, what then? I wouldn't say divorce is the best option, seriously. It all still boils down to manning up and showing her superiority in every ramification possible, and I'd stop eating in that house. If she loves him but can't help her outbursts, emotional ploys might yet straighten her out.

He should have left the house got two oloshos and let them drain him of evry fluid in his body. His main problem is oneitis. Once that is cured, he'll better know how to handle that wife of his.

So you'd rather he clocks her than divorce her. I don't think you understand the nature of violent people. She will fight back and then what? They have physical fights every blessed day? What of the children? What a life. I can guarantee that when her husband is not there to beat up she finds one of the kids as replacement. She's already been to a neighbors with this nonsense. Maybe the man was not around that day so she had to settle for a neighbor. She's gotten away with this for too long. Let her go to jail with other criminals then she will realize that as far as society is concerned she is rated amongst the worst. She will not be able to raise her head in public.

soulglo:


So you'd rather he clocks her than divorce her. I don't think you understand the nature of violent people. She will fight back and then what? They have physical fights every blessed day? What of the children? What a life. I can guarantee that when her husband is not there to beat up she finds one of the kids as replacement. She's already been to a neighbors with this nonsense. Maybe the man was not around that day so she had to settle for a neighbor. She's gotten away with this for too long. Let her go to jail with other criminals then she will realize that as far as society is concerned she is rated amongst the worst. She will not be able to raise her head in public.

here's what I said "uppercut part was just comic relief". I'm of the opinion that she be made to pay for her deviance but, I'm not sure I'd want the mother of my kids in jail.

freecocoa:
You no well.

I assure you, that has worked for generations past. Our ancestors knew better.

Btw, where are the umuada(hope I got that right) to sanction this vampire? I think we they should have a branch in every local government in Nigeria and if you're not igbo you can get a form and join. You, women, should play your own part in saving our homes.

Timbuktou:
I assure you, that has worked for generations past. Our ancestors knew better.

Btw, where are the umuada(hope I got that right) to sanction this vampire? I think we they should have a branch in every local government in Nigeria and if you're not igbo you can get a form and join. You, women, should play your own part in saving our homes.

His people got involved and the woman was sent home, after which she came with her own people to beg, that's how she's still in that house today. My own be say, she will do it again, something she's being doing over 8 years before marriage, if ah hear say this is the last.

But come to think of it o, it's possible she's suffering from one of those plenty oyibo disorders o, it's just that over here in Naija, people don't know or even care about such ailments.

I don't support that umuada thing abeg, they tend to overdo things and most times, them sef no be better women, na them dey fight husbands pass sef.

freecocoa:
His people got involved and the woman was sent home, after which she came with her own people to beg, that's how she's still in that house today. My own be say, she will do it again, something she's being doing over 8 years before marriage, if ah hear say this is the last.

But come to think of it o, it's possible she's suffering from one of those plenty oyibo disorders o, it's just that over here in Naija, people don't know or even care about such ailments.

I don't support that umuada thing abeg, they tend to overdo things and most times, them sef no be better women, na them dey fight husbands pass sef.

Then he shoulda sent her back. No lie.

She most likely is suffering from BPD/MPD. Psycho tendencies.

Too many mad people roaming around.
That family needs help and very fast too before someone ends up in the morgue.
Aisha, within reason, please reach out to that man again & let him know that he has options and he owes it to his kids to explore those options.

Timbuktou:
here's what I said "uppercut part was just comic relief". I'm of the opinion that she be made to pay for her deviance but, I'm not sure I'd want the mother of my kids in jail.

And this is the problem with victims of abuse. Unfortunately that's where she needs to be because she can kill him. Sentiments aside. Some people belong in jail, some in a mental institution, some in half way houses. Your concern for the criminal is misplaced. It sends a strong message to the kids that this behavior cannot be tolerated. Trust me, if this mans daughter turns into a husband beater, he will curse himself everyday for not taking action when he had the chance

aisha2:


He said they have done that severally and both families are tired. She gets sober apologies and a few months later something sets her off. He is adviced to be patient with her and stop setting her off. Apparently she is extremely jealous and so he has to reduce his interaction to the barest minimum with the opposite sex and if she doesn't suspect him of anything or doesn't " catch " him talking with a lady she is a very sweet loving woman but once any suspicious thing in her mind happens she jumps and attacks him

She may be schizophrenic or suffer from other serious forms of mental illness. It may mean she secrets some excessive hormones which heightens her viciousness when she's feeling jealous or feels bad and depressed.

They need to seek specialist care who would combine the use of conventional drugs and psychological training to help her manage such situations but I am afraid many Nigerian hospitals don't really have that good Specialists in those fields and if they meet any run of the mill Dr, they may just be given some prescription and after months she's back to square one.

Some people will be busy blaming the man as they think he is not 'man enough'.

May God not let us see evil cos I tell you, if this situation meets you will be powerless. It takes grace to overcome the denial and shame that accompanies domestic violence.

No one is above domestic violence as it can happen to the most careful of persons. However, we all need to have zero tolerance to all forms of DV and lend a helping hand to victims instead of blaming them.

satope1:


She may be schizophrenic or suffer from other serious forms of mental illness. It may mean she secrets some excessive hormones which heightens her viciousness when she's feeling jealous or feels bad and depressed.

This seem like a chemical imbalance. They need to seek specialist care who would combine the use of conventional drugs and psychological training to help her manage such situations but I am afraid Nigerian hospital doesn't really have that good Specialists in those fields and if they meet any run od the mill Dr, they may just be given some prescription and after months she's back to square one.

Professor!

How come no one has mentioned mental illness when a man is the one doing it

Male abuser..brute
Female abuser.... Bonkers


OK ooooooo

soulglo:


And this is the problem with victims of abuse. Unfortunately that's where she needs to be because she can kill him. Sentiments aside. Some people belong in jail, some in a mental institution, some in half way houses. Your concern for the criminal is misplaced. It sends a strong message to the kids that this behavior cannot be tolerated. Trust me, if this mans daughter turns into a husband beater, he will curse himself everyday for not taking action when he had the chance

Yeah, you have a good point but, I say, she should be sent to an institution. Apparently, she's not mentally stable. She needs a psychiatrist first to try salvage whatever's left of her humanity.

chaircover:
Too many mad people roaming around.
That family needs help and very fast too before someone ends up in the morgue.
Aisha, within reason, please reach out to that man again & let him know that he has options and he owes it to his kids to explore those options.

Aisha2, please, seriously, consider the parts in bold, biko.

pickabeau1:



Professor!

How come no one has mentioned mental illness when a man is the one doing it

Male abuser..brute
Female abuser.... Bonkers


OK ooooooo

No one condones such acts. If you must know i equate verbal and physical abuse as the same. They are both abuse so please don't play the gender game here. If a man would repeatedly physically assault his wife for no just reason(no reason even justifies such) then he is suffering from acute mental illness.

You could well see the various steps this husband has taken to help her solve this issue but she's not yielding. You proposed separation; but aisha just told us he has done that and both families are even tired of intervening but yet she has not been able to overcome such. Turning to a beast any moment something goes wrong. Shows she certainly needs mental help and urgently.

Calling her all the names in the world won't help here. We are here to help proffer solutions not cry over spilt milk.

Any of the gender can physically be abused and may abuse. This is a mental issue as you can see that it is recurrent and other forms of deterrent tried aren't working. So please quit it.

satope1:


No condones that such acts. If you must know i equate verbal and physical abuse as same. They are both abuse so please don't play the gender game here.

You could well see the various steps the guy has taken to help her solve this issue but she's not yielding. You proposed separation; but aisha just told us he has done that and she has not been able to overcome such urge. Turning to a beast any moment something goes wrong. She needs psychological help. This is not a one off thing.

Calling her all the names in the world won't help here. We are here to help proffer solutions not cry over spilt milk.

Anyone of the gender can physically be abused and may abuse. This is a mental issue as you can see that it's recurrent and other forms of deterrent tried aren't working. So please quit it.

I see your key words

Not a once off thing
Psychological problem
Recurrent

I will like to see you use and expatiate on this line of thinking when there is a male on the other side of the divide as he may be mentally challenged also..

At least you recognize the damage verbal abuse can do..

pickabeau1:



I see your key words

Not a once off thing
Psychological problem
Recurrent

I will like to see you use and expatiate on this line of thinking when there is a male on the other side of the divide as he may be mentally challenged also..

At least you recognize the damage verbal abuse can do..

I edited the post up there. It answers your concerns now.

Anybody whether male, female, hermaphrodite or transgender who does what the woman in this scenario does is mentally challenged and urgently needs the help of a psychologist.

satope1:
I edited the post up there. It answers your concerns now.

Anybody whether male, female, hermaphrodite or transgender who does what the woman in this scenario does is mentally challenged and urgently needs the help of a psychologist.

Ok... be consistent with this line izall....

Aisha2 please lend that man money to get a divorce lawyer, I guess he's too broke to afford one. Seriously!!! He had better park his stuff and get out of that house immediately

freecocoa:
If I don't personally know a couple going through this, I for doubt this story.

The woman I know, broke down the door to the room her hubby locked himself in, to get away from her with a hammer, poured water on the bed he was lying on just to get to him, wetin cause fight? He didn't come home in time to turn on the gen for her.

This grown man called his mother around past 12 midnight, crying like a baby just so he won't commit murder, his ma kept begging him to restrain himself since he's done so thus far. They dated for over 8 years before getting married and in the course of dating, she used to smash things, hit him, tear his shirt and all, still he married her, she always promised to change till this last incident. This is why I find it difficult to believe that someone who hits once, won't do it again.

Freecocoa, the man in this story of yours is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. No one should mistake his cries to his mother for "unmanliness". He is very much a full-blooded man trying to do the decent thing by being the bigger and more mature person. But, there is only so much he can take. Right now he is being pushed dangerously close to the edge and the day he snaps (which he will do), may be the end of that woman's life.

The silly cow belongs in a mental institute. Same as the crazed one in Aisha2's story.

No one has the right or monopoly of abuse (verbal, physical, or emotional) on another. These are serious issues being discussed her and shouldn't be triffled down to gender wars. If any of those abused men in these stories were my sons, I wouldn't waste anytime in marching in there with cops to get the fishy wives arrested.

Yes, I understand that the men in question don't want to come across as being unable to maintain their homes but to have a vase thrown at one's head? Or chased with a hammer? I'd rather have a divorced son than a dead one!

Shikena!

"he thanked me and kept
apologising and attempting to explain that his
wife was not a bad woman that she just looses
her temper from time to time but he is sure by
the time he gets back he wi meet her sober and
calm."

so men of this virtue exist He is a good man and he truly loves his wife despite all odds,that's a father to emulate. I pray that God change his wife for good @ least for the man's sake.

This is getting more hilarious

Now the abused man is a man of virtue

Juzzybabe:

so men of this virtue exist He is a good man and he truly loves his wife despite all odds,that's a father to emulate. I pray that God change his wife for good @ least for the man's sake.

Definitely not as virtuous as upper-cut sharing husbands, I assure you. Virtue ko, virgin ni.

Timbuktou:
Definitely not as virtuous as upper-cut sharing husbands, I assure you. Virtue ko, virgin ni.

Juzzybabe:
"he thanked me and kept
apologising and attempting to explain that his
wife was not a bad woman that she just looses
her temper from time to time but he is sure by
the time he gets back he wi meet her sober and
calm."

so men of this virtue exist He is a good man and he truly loves his wife despite all odds,that's a father to emulate. I pray that God change his wife for good @ least for the man's sake.

Dahell is this?
God knows if my father were to be that 'virtuous', I for don renounce him since
Good father my foot

alutacontinua:


Dahell is this?
God knows if my father were to be that 'virtuous', I for don renounce him since
Good father my foot

Am judging based on what he told our op,even if he commuted the act that warranted the fight,that very stament means a lot. Mind u,some men would commit and yet boast of it to their wives but the op said he was sober and also tried to defend his wive's action despite all that has happened !!! I trust some men would use that opportunity to say all the nasty words to their wife and even paint the woman black just to claim they are innocent. Personally,that statement touched me.

Juzzybabe:

[s]Am judging based on what he told our op,even if he commuted the act that warranted the fight,that very stament means a lot. Mind u,some men would commit and yet boast of it to their wives but the op said he was sober and also tried to defend his wive's action despite all that has happened !!! I trust some men would use that opportunity to say all the nasty words to their wife and even paint the woman black just to claim they are innocent. Personally,that statement touched me.[/s]

the only thing you see na where the man dey defend the woman abi? Is that all? Smh

I don't encourage anyone to do anything, I am only speaking for myself. I will NOT endure any degree of violence. Zero tolerance!

Thinkr:
the only thing you see na where the man dey defend the woman abi? Is that all? Smh

I don't know what you would expect me to say,but I want u to know that the way singles view marriage is quite different from the way married folks view it. 'He who wears the shoes,knows where it pinches' Divorce as some are saying isn't always the solution. Retaliating as well isn't always the solution.some times one have to be calm for the other. Do u think that man cannot beat the hell out of that woman if he wants to? or will you say the woman's approach is right? Even if she's certain of her accusation,Violence is never the way out. The man only tolerated her out of love not even because of the church.