Dearest ones,

I believe that If you are in a relationship with someone, you should feel loved, safe, respected and free to be yourself.

However that is not the situation described by this blog reader who sent in her story from the UK. Please leave your thoughts and advice.

“Bang, bang, smash smash is all I remember. How did i get here, how did i get back to where we had been before. But I was promised change, I was promised it would never happen again. Maybe I’m the stupid one for believing.

I happened to be missing him so much that day and thought I would get home and have a nice evening. That changed the instant I found myself arguing with him over what I am ashamed to even say – FOOD.

He promised to season some fish for me before I got home. However when I got home it had not been done, although he had brought it out of the freezer. I find out he’s in a mood and I really don’t know why. This is not how I planned my evening, I tell myself.

We get into a debate and we hurl words back and forth and the next thing I see is him throwing things but they are missing me. He throws his phone, I duck!!! He gets up and he’s now this crazy person that I haven’t seen in a year ( yes it’s happened before but like I said I believed the “I’ve changed story”).

He gets up and uses his hand to bring down my top shelf. Smash!!! My candles and vases broken on the floor, my pictures all over the floor. As if that isn’t enough, he races forward to me and gives me 3 slaps across the face, he’s shouting around the house , pacing up and down, he gets an iron and at that moment I truly thought my life was over. Luckily for me he puts it down but it isn’t over.

He tells me talk, talk again and you will see.

He walks out of the room still talking, I mutter under my breath and at that very moment he comes back and starts punching my legs, not stopping even though I am crying out and screaming stop stop!!!

I flashback in the middle of the pain and remember my dad harassing my mum, this is something I told myself I would never go through. He walks out and leaves the house. Bruises all over my body, it’s never been this bad before.

I tell myself he has to go but now it’s even more complicated as we are planning our marriage that is supposed to happen next year. Put aside the marriage, I still love this man.

I tell myself if he gets the help he needs, all will be okay. If he stops his addiction to weed this can all be fixed because he wasn’t like this before the weed. He never had such a bad temper. I know deep down he is not like this, this is not the man I fell in love with. I’ve invested 7 years in this relationship, I ask myself do I walk away or see if things can change if he gets the necessary help he needs. I’m drained and tired!!

He comes back begging and crying but I tell him I’ve had enough so I take off my ring, packed his things and told him to leave.

I don’t get it, I’m confused, I seem to be missing him and needing him more than ever before. I tell myself I don’t need him but I want him.

Maybe I need help myself!!!

I cannot share with my siblings (not even my sister ) what am passing through but wish I could speak to my mum rather than confide in just my bestie.

Please I need advice, what do I do? Do I continue praying to God to perfect us?Do I call off the wedding ( this is a wedding we have hired a planner and committed £30,00 to, booked our hall for a whooping £10,000, engaged most of our vendors financially) or Do I make things work?” ******

I do not want to pre-empt your comments, so will pitch in later.

Take care of yourself and others.

xoxoxoxo…MFA

www.lifetitudes.com Inspiring Positive Change

bloggers be forming story to gain popularity like biblical Elijah

kallmemrB:
bloggers be forming story to gain popularity like biblical Elijah

Yeah I am with you on this.. Next please

A hungry man is an angry man

So your husband 'to be' is beating the hell out of you while you are yet to marry, believe me he will even do worse when you guys get married. A wife beater is also an addiction you know..seek counsel and call off the engagement and move on with your life.

Sad that you think i be forming stories to gain popularity. Sadder still that you had to bring in a Biblical character to buttress your point. Now walking away from you and your negativity.

kallmemrB:
bloggers be forming story to gain popularity like biblical Elijah

“Think before you speak. Read before you think.”
― Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader

Onota:


Yeah I am with you on this.. Next please

So hunger is now a justification for physical violence? So if he has to fast for 7 days nko? He will murder her during his fast abi?

bundur:
A hungry man is an angry man

My thoughts exactly, if he's beating her now he will continue afterwards. But again we know women can we be foolishly hopeful.

Maamin:
So your husband 'to be' is beating the hell out of you while you are yet to marry, believe me he will even do worse when you guys get married. A wife beater is also an addiction you know..seek counsel and call off the engagement and move on with your life.

If he is wealthy the lady will take it as part of life's "tribulations and trials", convincing herself that patience is a virtue. Rubbish. I have no pity for ladies who remain in abusive relationships.

Let her be asking question for the gods.

True talk. Most women stay on because of financial comfort. But is money worth being beaten? Bashing that your parents never gave you.

Tymax:
If he is wealthy the lady will take it as part of life's "tribulations and trials", convincing herself that patience is a virtue. Rubbish. I have no pity for ladies who remain in abusive relationships.

Let her be asking question for the gods.

Does she really need an answer?





Some women ehn, when would we learn? A guy that can hit you severally before you get married to him will gladly buy your coffin when you tie the knot with him. If you don't pity yourself, pity your family and your future children biko..

Lifetitudes:
Dearest ones,

I believe that If you are in a relationship with someone, you should feel loved, safe, respected and free to be yourself.

However that is not the situation described by this blog reader who sent in her story from the UK. Please leave your thoughts and advice.

“Bang, bang, smash smash is all I remember. How did i get here, how did i get back to where we had been before. But I was promised change, I was promised it would never happen again. Maybe I’m the stupid one for believing.

I happened to be missing him so much that day and thought I would get home and have a nice evening. That changed the instant I found myself arguing with him over what I am ashamed to even say – FOOD.

He promised to season some fish for me before I got home. However when I got home it had not been done, although he had brought it out of the freezer. I find out he’s in a mood and I really don’t know why. This is not how I planned my evening, I tell myself.

We get into a debate and we hurl words back and forth and the next thing I see is him throwing things but they are missing me. He throws his phone, I duck!!! He gets up and he’s now this crazy person that I haven’t seen in a year ( yes it’s happened before but like I said I believed the “I’ve changed story”).

He gets up and uses his hand to bring down my top shelf. Smash!!! My candles and vases broken on the floor, my pictures all over the floor. As if that isn’t enough, he races forward to me and gives me 3 slaps across the face, he’s shouting around the house , pacing up and down, he gets an iron and at that moment I truly thought my life was over. Luckily for me he puts it down but it isn’t over.

He tells me talk, talk again and you will see.

He walks out of the room still talking, I mutter under my breath and at that very moment he comes back and starts punching my legs, not stopping even though I am crying out and screaming stop stop!!!

I flashback in the middle of the pain and remember my dad harassing my mum, this is something I told myself I would never go through. He walks out and leaves the house. Bruises all over my body, it’s never been this bad before.

I tell myself he has to go but now it’s even more complicated as we are planning our marriage that is supposed to happen next year. Put aside the marriage, I still love this man.

I tell myself if he gets the help he needs, all will be okay. If he stops his addiction to weed this can all be fixed because he wasn’t like this before the weed. He never had such a bad temper. I know deep down he is not like this, this is not the man I fell in love with. I’ve invested 7 years in this relationship, I ask myself do I walk away or see if things can change if he gets the necessary help he needs. I’m drained and tired!!

He comes back begging and crying but I tell him I’ve had enough so I take off my ring, packed his things and told him to leave.

I don’t get it, I’m confused, I seem to be missing him and needing him more than ever before. I tell myself I don’t need him but I want him.

Maybe I need help myself!!!

I cannot share with my siblings (not even my sister ) what am passing through but wish I could speak to my mum rather than confide in just my bestie.

Please I need advice, what do I do? Do I continue praying to God to perfect us?Do I call off the wedding ( this is a wedding we have hired a planner and committed £30,00 to, booked our hall for a whooping £10,000, engaged most of our vendors financially) or Do I make things work?” ******

I do not want to pre-empt your comments, so will pitch in later.

Take care of yourself and others.

xoxoxoxo…MFA

www.lifetitudes.com Inspiring Positive Change

Check yourself it can be partly ur fault if d conditions r not suitable 4 staying better move on and learn frm it.

I used to be a weed smoker and I know how paranoid this can make 1 feel.. My dear that guy needs spiritual help.... He is currently dabbling in d deeper end of life where an addiction has made him act insane..

My advice is to break that relationship up and encourage him to seek help from a good church like VPA.

If u marry him thinking it will all be well, one day the demon in him will always show up...be careful

Lifetitudes:
My thoughts exactly, if he's beating her now he will continue afterwards. But again we know women can we be foolishly hopeful.

Now being foolishly hopeful is what got her into this mess in the first place..am very sure that this started somewhere, now its getting worse..hoping to see her fiance change is going to be like fetching water with a basket. Breaking free from such bondage is the best way out..but wish her all the best !

I HATE BLOG STORIES

i always used to think weed does not necessarily incite violence. However i understand better now because of the feelings you say it invokes. Thanks

Tearg1:
I used to be a weed smoker and I know how paranoid this can make 1 feel.. My dear that guy needs spiritual help.... He is currently dabbling in d deeper end of life where an addiction has made him act insane..

My advice is to break that relationship up and encourage him to seek help from a good church like VPA.

If u marry him thinking it will all be well, one day the demon in him will always show up...be careful

We dont hate people who hate blog stories

Sunkyphil:
I HATE BLOG STORIES

Lifetitudes:
We dont hate people who hate blog stories

ao am i sure the story is not cooked up

Lifetitudes:
So hunger is now a justification for physical violence? So if he has to fast for 7 days nko? He will murder her during his fast abi?

i am jst saying

How do we know if you are who you say you are and your very existence is not a lie?
check my blog www.lifetitudes.com its all about inspirational real life stories. I dont have to cook up stories just to get people to read, if its fiction i will state so!

Sunkyphil:
ao am i sure the story is not cooked up

I know you are, just cant wrap my head around it. If its true then lesson number one in relationships should be "always have food ready for your man if you dont want some violence"

bundur:

i am jst saying

The "weed" part is quite disturbing tho..

but I still dont think weed is the cause of his been violent, I think hes got temper issues.. I dont know how to advice people to leave their relationships tho, but a woman beater is a no-go area if you cherish your life..he would never change. Its either you manage him or you quit it.

run!!!!!








4 ya dear life!

Lifetitudes:
I know you are, just cant wrap my head around it. If its true then lesson number one in relationships should be "always have food ready for your man if you dont want some violence"

gbam

Lifetitudes:
Sad that you think i be forming stories to gain popularity. Sadder still that you had to bring in a Biblical character to buttress your point. Now walking away from you and your negativity.

wow...seems my comment pissed u off. ..sorry op i was just telling the truth.. there are lots of fake bloggers on NL

Onota:


Yeah I am with you on this.. Next please

am with u on this too

Its alright jare . I realise that one should expect punches when venturing into the social sphere.

kallmemrB:
wow...seems my comment pissed u off. ..sorry op i was just telling the truth.. there are lots of fake bloggers on NL

Pele. Keep being with him on it. You are in a one-chance bus.

harrysterol:
am with u on this too

Lifetitudes:
Pele. Keep being with him on it. You are in a one-chance bus.

we will reach the destination

While you are on this journey, please visit my blog www.lifetitudes.com and tell me what you really think.

harrysterol:
we will reach the destination

Lifetitudes:
While you are on this journey, please visit my blog www.lifetitudes.com and tell me what you really think.

good