Warning: This post contains language not suitable for corrupt politicians, disinterested Nigerians and children under the age of 18.

Too Much Fuckery: A Formal Complaint About Nigeria

I’m not a swearing man. I wouldn’t swear on an ordinary day.
You could insult me, back-stab me, hurl me down a flight of stairs. You could cut me off in traffic or run away with my change.
The most you’d get out of me is a “C’mon, man!” hurled reluctantly after you.
I’m not into the whole swearing thing. Not personally, no.

But comes a time in a man’s life, when a man has to stop and ask: What the Bleep?

Comes a time, I say, when a man’s mouth will drop open in astonishment at the brazenness, the boldness, the sheer audacity of the fuckliness and out of this man’s mouth the very words will come forth: You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Comes one day, a day like any other, when a man will be overwhelmed by the un-believability of it all, and from his heart of hearts, from deep down inside, words will spew; words vitriolic, words acerbic, words precise and straight to the heart of the matter, viz: For Fuc...k’s sake!

To reiterate: I’m not a swearing man. But Fuc...k…

This country.

It’s almost like we’re out to impress ourselves with the sheer volume of stupidity and incompetence. It’s almost like every country in the world sat down and said: “We have to pool our resources and make a better life for our people.”

And Nigeria was nodding vigorously and saying: “Good idea guys, but before we go on to that, we’re gonna spend our time and energy Fuc...king things up, alright?”

It’s ridiculous.

It’s almost like we’re competing for gold at the Extreme Fuc...kery Olympics.
And we’re winning, Nigeria. We’re winning.

What then, exactly, is Fuc...kery? The thing about Fuc...kery is, no one needs to tell you what it is. No one needs to hold a sign up to your face telling you your’re being savagely rammed from behind. You’ll know. Oh, you’ll know.

20 Billion Dollars missing? Fuc...kery.
Kerosine subsidy scam? Fuc...kery.
Kids getting killed in Borno and Yobe? Bleep THAT, I say.
Youth dying at ridiculously poorly-organised recruitment exercise they had to pay for without anyone getting investigated or probed or held responsible? Fuc...k outta here!
Would have said something about the anti-gay law, butt Fuc...k it, I think you get the idea.

All sorts of Fuc...kery, man.
This is the land of fucktitude. We’ve mastered it. We’ve taken that shit, pardon my language, and fucking owned it.

We all need to chill man. We need to take some time off. I’m not talking about the occasional public holiday.
I’m talking a full month. Where everything stops and everyone can sit home and think about their lives. Just thinking, and reasoning things out and talking with each other.

We did not read the manual.whatever it is we’re doing right now, in whatever corner of the country, it is abundantly clear we are doing it wrong. We did not read the manual.

We need to stop going to offices and malls.
We need to switch of the TVs and radios. We need to put off the internet.
No blogging.
No Facebook. There’s all sort of Fuc...kery there.
And twitter? Quit that too.

4 weeks of doing nothing, except thinking and talking.
At the end of this time, we need to gather in various places, in groups in the town and villages. Sit down with the Senators and the Governors and the House of Rep members in an open summit.
And look each other in the eye and ask ourselves certain questions.

Questions like: the Fuc...k is wrong with this country?
Questions like: the Fuc...k am I doing being part of the problem?
Questions man, penetrating questions like: How totally Fuc...ked do we want our children to be?

And after intense soul searching, we need to face the truth of these answers, whatever they are, with brutal honesty. With soberness and sleeves rolled up. And zero tolerance for bullshit.

That’s what we need.

Because the truth is: things are too Fuc...ked up.
It’s our inheritance. From our forefathers who sold each other into slavery, from Lord Lugard who took national Fuc...kery and put a patent on that shi...t, to every corrupt leader we ever had, and everyone who ever Fuc...ked things up so we got to this place.
It’s too much. Fuc...kery overload.

We have to do something, people.
I told you the what.
I don’t know the how.

But we have to. Because if we don’t, our entire history, our whole operation, our legacy and eulogy, and the sum of all our experiences, will be rightly summed up in one sharp, short, succinct, and poignantly true epithet:

Fuc...k.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

redcliff:
http://miabaga.com/too-much-fuckery-a-formal-complaint-about-nigeria/#comment-17889

baba all this ur english too much nah i read small.......... Infact i didn't even read half

.

It’s almost like we’re competing for gold at the Extreme Fuc...kery Olympics.
And we’re winning, Nigeria. We’re winning.

……….[/quote]

Spot on...fucking fuckery! lmaooo