Hi friends so this is my first topic here ever and i really do need some sane advise so thanks in advance. I was in my final year and she was a diploma student in her 1st year..we started dating and to cut the long story short she got pregnant Lord knows i was scared out of my mind(she was my first ever gf) she took postinor which a friend recomended back then and it seemed to work until she got home after she left my place and called saying she was in the hospital with her parents(seems the drug didn't work afterall) her dad had found her bleeding in her room..anyways it was confirmed she was still pregnant and she had to tell her parents who was responsible you can imagine how i was feeling at this point but she refused to give me up despite the fact they threatened to disown her she never disclosed my identity..I went on to finish school and she was withdrawn to carry her child in the house..I visited PH regularly to see her although it had to be done in secret and her sisters were really helpful then..I ended up emptying my savings cus her parents well you could imagine how they treated her calling her a slut who didn't even know who got her pregnant..I would send money down almost every 3weeks for her to get her soap and toiletries..at some point we both accepted it and even talked about baby names..I took up a teaching job after writing my project to be able to have something to send to her regularly..six months in she had a miscarriage and she shut me out blaming me saying i had ruined her life and now the one thing(the baby)that kept her going was gone..she didn't talk to me for abt 2months and her sisters said to just give her time...anyways we picked up where we left off after she got herself and I tried as much as possible to be there and call always and provide the little I had for her and promised to help her re-gain admission and after paying for 2 jamb forms and a pre-science form she just got admitted and I'm glad...the thing though is we don't work well as a couple we fight more than we love and for abt a year I've stuck to the relationship cus i still feel guilty(I'm soft like that)we hardly see each other at all cus we quite far at the moment and she's in school but even at that she hardly calls and when i don't call for a a day or two she says I've abandoned her..each time i try to talk about breaking up she breaks down and talks about all she did for me and stuff like that.. I honestly do care for her a lot but emotionally I'm not just there but then each time i want to break up I start to feel guilty.....I'm really confused and need some advice...sorry for the long read

Pity pity pity is all I see
Like u are indebted to her
But then time is ticking, for how long do u wanna do this.
It's never easy for anyone but we all need reality checks

I smell blackmail......pls move on. As mean as it sounds, thats what u both need. Why stay in a relationship that isn't fulfilling? Don't waste each other's time!

Blackett:
Touching story. . . To be honest, it isn't really complicated. She doesn't want to be with you. But she has to have a sure footing out there before she finally leaves you. Leaving you is a decision she has to make alone. If the relationship is meant to work, she has the major part to play at this stage, cos you've always been there for her from what you've written.

Therefore, give her time. Continue to be your normal supportive self. The worst she can do is walk out on you, so be ready for that eventually.

yea i plan to do that if she let's me that is..be dere for her as much as i can in a less emotional capacity that is

I would have said something but this is just ur own side of d story.....something tells me she will also have something different to say about this...have you tried talking to her n tell her her attitude is making ur rship boring.....then tak it from there...

texybaby:
I would have said something but this is just ur own side of d story.....something tells me she will also have something different to say about this...have you tried talking to her n tell her her attitude is making ur rship boring.....then tak it from there...

I've tried on numerous occassions..its been 3yrs now and it feels like ages cus we always end up back where we were before the pregnancy...me being the only one emotionally available

stan241:
I've tried on numerous occassions..its been 3yrs now and it feels like ages cus we always end up back where we were before the pregnancy...me being the only one emotionally available

R u also sure u wanna end it?? D biggest mistake u will eva make or d biggest trauma u can eva make a woman go tru is marrying her or being with her out of self pity....it will only cause more pain...so I suggest u both sit,discuss m reach a better resolution....like go ur separate ways...

texybaby:

R u also sure u wanna end it?? D biggest mistake u will eva make or d biggest trauma u can eva make a woman go tru is marrying her or being with her out of self pity....it will only cause more pain...so I suggest u both sit,discuss m reach a better resolution....like go ur separate ways...

Honestly think its what's best for us though ending it and yea I'm preety sure that's what i want

This is sort of complicated... But I advise you take her out to a cool place and try talk things over. Ask her to write out all things she doesn't like about you and you should do the same... Maybe from there, you guys can re-synchronize your feelings mutually.