I Am Confused On Who To Be With! - Family - Nairaland
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| I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by bhissie: 3:41am On Feb 18, 2015 |
I hav been dating guy A for som months now,we were aand still friends and it turrneed into a relationship. he has 90...% of what I want in a husband ,I asked him on Sunday how serious he is about me, he replied that he takes me serious but I shouldn't taakee him serious. that if itss God's will for him to marry me hee will, but if not he won't and he has also been praying and making plans to marry this year,and if we dont end up together he prays for both of us to have the a successful home.he discusses everything with me including his marriage plans and told me he doesn't know yet who he will marry.,but it must be this year. guy B is my church member and has been asking me for a relationship that will lead to marriage. he said from the first day he saw me he had inner peace but found it difficult to approach me until he did last week,I am his senior with 2 years and is still in his 300level,but he has a business he runs and other things he does . Although he doesn't mind the age difference. he wants to get married this year and told me of his plans also,and if I make up my mind we can start a relationship and start planning towards it. I am confused and dont know what to do. ,I have prayed but still confused, I need advice from matured people. Thanks. |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by Nobody: 4:55am On Feb 18, 2015 |
I feel like giving guy A an e-slap  Dafuq does that even mean?  *in my mfm voice* Op, repeat after me....every element of time wasters in my life, die by fire!!!  If you know you wanna marry, biko, go with the guy who knows what he wants and get it over with, guy A is the type that we call long thing  18 Likes |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by mikkyjagga1(m): 5:01am On Feb 18, 2015 |
I just think you shuldnt rush into anything, u may not b hearing anything from God cos ure nt patient and silent enough for him to speak...one mistake we often make is trying to rush God or bend his hands, uve to b calm cos the most important decision u make in life is choosing your life partner. About the 1st guy, I think ure not his only option, and he's trying to be careful so he dosnt overcommit and end up hurting you. And don't get decieved by the inner peace abi Joy the 2nd guy said he felt. A Lot of people have plunged into marriage with religious sentiments when it wasn't God speaking! Mayb neither of them is ure husband so relax and wait for the helper to speak to ure heart! Be calm and still, he's said that he will neither leave u nor forsake you! Cheers 9 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by obiak4(m): 5:11am On Feb 18, 2015 |
you want a husband and you are asking nl, na me go live with you for house ko? a very important decision like this should involved you to fast,pray and ask baba to show you your bb(back bone) any other person advice is a sinking sand ask God and biko please ejor don't be in a hurry it never a race Shalom |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by Nobody: 5:43am On Feb 18, 2015 |
babe...no one can make thia decisions for u....its ur life...if u think rushing into a guy u dont knw is all u want from life...or staying with 1 dat puts u as an option..its going to.be u to reap the consequences.. |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by Tallesty1(m): 6:02am On Feb 18, 2015 |
alutacontinua:*in Sam Loco's Voice* Kataway  .(nah joke I dey) But seriously did you expect guy A to say Yes I Will Marry You  Well, I didn't and I wouldn't want you to answer the same thing if you ever find yourself in his shoes. Those are the kinda questions women use to get us to agree to do what we are not ready for. I like the way GUY A replied, the future is unpredictable bro, poo can happen any time. A lady asking me that kain question get as e be............ YES is never the right answer to such question unless she has a ring to give me........ Then we might talk. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by Joel3(m): 6:40am On Feb 18, 2015 |
| so marraige is the only thing that is in your head. You are not interested in any other thing than marraige? now i see why you are confuse. |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by nerodenero: 6:43am On Feb 18, 2015 |
For Guy A,I think you guys have compatibility issues.Something is wrong somewhere.Infact,he has other options.For the 2nd dude,you might have to do a thorough check on him if you must accept.Above all,I'll suggest you look before you leap. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by MizMyColi(f): 7:55am On Feb 18, 2015 |
 Tallesty1: 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by Tallesty1(m): 8:49am On Feb 18, 2015 |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by MizMyColi(f): 8:56am On Feb 18, 2015 |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by Dahjhi: 9:15am On Feb 18, 2015 |
GUY A HAS IT.. Maybe he just needed to put some things togeda... Keep calm n zip zobo.. Guy B a 300 level guy...? Education along with marriage can be hectic am telling you.. The choice is yours 2 Likes |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by Melahou(m): 9:18am On Feb 18, 2015 |
don't be in a hurry to get married...don't be deceived by what they say who ever is ready should go and see your people and formalize things but still pray harder and stop been confused |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by Tallesty1(m): 9:44am On Feb 18, 2015 |
MizMyColi:Why are you angry? |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by MizMyColi(f): 9:49am On Feb 18, 2015 |
Tallesty1: Sad That was a tad insensitive nah. Babes don't enjoy having to be the one who asks "are you going to marry me or not" They only do so when their intuition tells them you're not ready to commit to them for one reason or another. Sometimes all a babe needs is openness, even if it'll hurt her. If you've found anything that sucks about her or reasons why you can't be with her, just let her know. Keeping her around when you really don't have plans to be the one who fulfils one of her greatest wish is a tad insensitive/selfish. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by freecocoa(f): 10:24am On Feb 18, 2015 |
Guy A is not sure he wants to marry you but doesn't want to come out straight to say what his reservations are, there's no point hoping he changes his mind, still, I think his answer should tell you all you need to know, anything can happen tomorrow, so if you decide to stay, whatever happens you won't have to blame him. Guy B sounds reasonable but how about you?what do you bring to the table? Don't you need to be attracted to someone or atleast like them before going into a relationship? I think it sounds selfish to date/marry a guy based on what you think he has to offer you. 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by Cammo: 10:58am On Feb 18, 2015 |
bhissie: Ur confused because ur in a haste to marry. I don't know if ur getting to old already but I can read, from ur post, anxiety and haste with a pinch of fear and desperation. The first one u love, that's true. But ur not certain what ur relationship with him might turn out to be. You even had to ask him what he thinks of u, and, unsatisfied, ur thinking of considering the second church guy, whom ur two years older than. I'm not saying either of them will not marry u, but u need to take a chill pill, dear. Don't ever make a guy feel ur in desperate need for marriage, it scares the crap out of them. Secondly, it's not too wise for a lady to marry a guy of same age with her. If it's ok now, it might not be ok tomorrow. The parents too are involved in marriage. Do u want their blessing or disapproval? But to cut it short, let these guys look for u, don't look for them. And be prayerful too 2 Likes |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by Creamish(f): 11:22am On Feb 18, 2015 |
alutacontinua: very funny. Nice response too.@OP.... Dont let "MARRIAGE" be the theme/subject/focus of ur relationship or ul be out of it quicker than it took u to get into it. Get to know whoever u date as best as u can to ascertain if he is someone u can spend all ur life with. Confusion is a cue to have a rethink. |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by jaybee3(m): 11:27am On Feb 18, 2015 |
Dude A 1) There is nothing wrong with him being unsure about taking that big step with you but there is everything wrong in him continuing the relationship when there is an element of doubt on his own part 2) There is a very high possibility that he already has an alternative hence the reason why some sort of doubt has suddenly manifested in him 3) The fact that he is certain about wanting to marry this year but yet unsure on commitment suggests he may never commit to you. When exactly does he now plan to engage you and probably court you? Dude B 1) He is just an admirer who fancies you but doesn't really know you 2) He is almost certainly clouded by his infatuation cos how else does one think about marrying someone they barely know The key question here is why are you in a haste to get married? 2 Likes |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by Nobody: 11:46am On Feb 18, 2015 |
bhissie: Me thinks the brother has said it all. You are in front of him and he does not know who he will marry but he sure knows he will marry this year- most likely seeing someone else.You might like to make yourself available to other guys who want you. Discussing his marriage plans with you when he is praying you both have successful homes looks like friend zoning to me. I see only one guy in the picture guy B a 300L student i guess the plan is to marry when he is through with school so give him a chance if you like him and keep your options open a lot can happen between 300L to getting balanced meanwhile i think you should keep on enjoying your life there is really nothing to be confused about. |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by hanubarbie(f): 12:01pm On Feb 18, 2015 |
bhissie: |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by hanubarbie(f): 12:08pm On Feb 18, 2015 |
bhissie: bhissie: bhissie:guyA is just a time waster!! |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by Tallesty1(m): 12:22pm On Feb 18, 2015 |
MizMyColi:Madam gee m ntị biko. @Emboldened, relationship is like gambling. In gambling, you have two options when your intuition tells you that you will lose. It's either you take the risk or you withdraw and that's what the lady should do instead of asking this question. There are questions I consider unnecessary in a relationship and this on is one of them. I expect a lady who is matured enough to date to be discerning enough to know when a guy is playing her or not............ Do you expect a player to answer this question truthfully Coz not.Anybody asking "will you marry me" should have a ring. Simple There are questions that make one appear desperate when they are not. Will you marry me How important am I to you Where do you see this relationship in future How many kids do you want us to have And their likes do not make any sense to me 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by mutter(f): 2:21pm On Feb 18, 2015 |
Perhaps A does not want to disappoint you if it does not work out. Secondly if he told you that he would marry you , you would put on a show and stage so many things till when you get into his home. He probably is still watching you to b more convinced. You`ve only been a few months in the relationship it is too soon to be rushing it. so why don`t you watch the development and be on your best behavior. He said he will make his decision this year so you do not have long to wait. Why jump to guy B . Why the hurry. Do you love him? It takes allot to be in a relationship with a younger man. You might not realize it now but in a few years you will have the pressure on you. You might look like his mother or older sister and seeing him with younger girls might hurt you real bad. Also he just might not have the maturity needed for a marriage. Calm down and wait on the Lord. He will give you your husband at the appointed time, A, B ,C or D. |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by Cammo: 2:28pm On Feb 18, 2015 |
mutter:Inasmuch as I don't condone or support premarital sex, I wouldn't advise a nubile, unengaged, female to stick to just one man, especially when that particular man is not really showing he has future plans with her. That's sheer time wasting! In fact, she could keep as many male friends as she can until she finds the right one 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by mutter(f): 2:38pm On Feb 18, 2015 |
Cammo:Jacky of all |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by chillingbabe: 2:44pm On Feb 18, 2015 |
Guy A sounds soo Cruel and irritating..How can a guy u claim to be in a relationship with have the guts to tell u not to take him seriously, Who says that He's a true definition of wat we call TIME WASTERS .He's definately sure he'll get married this year and he told you not to take him seriously? Gal read inbetween the lines...Guy B is prolly Infatuated..But u can give him a tiny chance if u don't mind dating ur junior |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by chillingbabe: 2:47pm On Feb 18, 2015 |
Cammo:Exactly..Gbam..On Point!  |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by Wendy80(f): 4:35pm On Feb 18, 2015 |
Guy A isn't serious take it or leave it. Imagine not knowing who to marry yet he wants to settle down ds year. That's means he's dating other girls. I feel like slapping some senses into his head. Imagine 1 Like |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by amokeme(f): 4:59pm On Feb 18, 2015 |
alutacontinua:the guy A is a big time waster.. |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by Cammo: 8:52pm On Feb 20, 2015 |
mutter:What about not to put all ur eggs in one basket?  1 Like |
| Re: I Am Confused On Who To Be With! by focus7: 10:19pm On Feb 20, 2015 |
The first guy is indecisive probably because he's not yet persuaded you are the right woman for him, you can't blame him for that because who you are going to live with must be a matter personal conviction both for the man and the woman. I will advise that you should take a lesson from him even if the other suitor is convinced about it, you need to equally be. It is a life decision, if you get it wrong now it could be very costly, take your time to pray for God's guidance before you decide. When you are convinced about a man to marry, you don't have difficulties accepting him and submitting to him as a husband. |
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