Hello my wonderful aunties and uncles,

I have been a silent disciple of this section for quiet some time, all posts here are full of wisdom and ground breaking from the OPs, may the good Lord bless your homes.

I have a Lady that am dating, she is wonderful, beautiful and mature even though we are 5 years apart, but I had a problem with her, she is too secretive, I am of the open type. It takes me 6months to know that her mom was late, she hardly open up even when she knew all about me and my family, I didn't know any about her, even her sister number that she gave recently was because I made it an issue.

What can I do? I know she loves me and I do love her too, but this attitude is killing me, I want a lady that will be free and open up to me.

I have discussed it with her several times and she said she will change and it hurting me and killing me softly, I don't want to leave her yet.

Try to accept her as is.

andromida:
Try to accept her as is.

Thanks for your post, but her secretiveness is killing me as I open up to her even before she asks me.

Many women are careful and secretive because they don`t want to get hurt.

Besides a woman is meant to be secretive, like a book you can only read a few pages at a time.Most women are secretive. You might think that some women are vey open but they are just telling you things they tell every one.

A major incompatibility factor.
Even where opposites may attract, INTROVERTS and EXTROVERTS seldom get along.

As you get older, the less you would have in common.

She is gonna make one HELL of a borrrrring soul-mate, bed-mate or ROOM-MATE!!!

Any how SHA-SHA. . . .


I see LIMPOPOLYGAMY in your future o.

Pele ma dia!

She obviously has some issues in her past that has made her withdrawn.Maybe something to even do with her late mother.
You can only draw her out more with love and build that trust with her.You might not be able to push her.

mutter:
Many women are careful and secretive because they don`t want to get hurt.

Besides a woman is meant to be secretive, like a book you can only read a few pages at a time.Most women are secretive. You might think that some women are vey open but they are just telling you things they tell every one.

Hello Ma'am

Thanks for your post.

I quite understand that some female folks may be secretive but not to a guy that you profess to love. I don't want to go into details, but my worry is that her secretiveness is really tearing us apart slowly as I hardly know her plans and when to come in, she really don't have time for us again that we only talk for 30mins in a day, why? I don't know her plans or mood. Its really annoying

KanwuliaJara:
A major incompatibility factor.
Even where opposites may attract, INTROVERTS and EXTROVERTS seldom get along.

As you get older, the less you would have in common.

She is gonna make one HELL of a borrrrring soul-mate, bed-mate or ROOM-MATE!!!

Any how SHA-SHA. . . .


I see LIMPOPOLYGAMY in your future o.

Pele ma dia!

Ose padi mi...

It's not as if she is not the cheerful type or kinda boring, she is smart and lively, but too tight even her sister hardly knows her plans.

Thanks for your input

thorpido:
She obviously has some issues in her past that has made her withdrawn.Maybe something to even do with her late mother.
You can only draw her out more with love and build that trust with her.You might not be able to push her.

You just got the point... Her excuse was her mum died when she was a teen and its kinda difficult for her to trust people cos mom is not there and so that she won't be taken for ride. Yes she had trust issues which I have tried in my own way of assuring her of true love, but it gets worse daily.

If it's killing you this may be the end of the relationship. Somethings you can't fix if you can't accept as is.

On the other hand maybe it's you that wants to know more and she is not ready for that level of sharing. If this be the case you have to be patient with her. Some women like to take their time.

thorpido:
She obviously has some issues in her past that has made her withdrawn.Maybe something to even do with her late mother.
You can only draw her out more with love and build that trust with her.You might not be able to push her.

this @OP

Alright... I will give her more of love and time.

Thanks folks

saints2:


Hello Ma'am

Thanks for your post.

I quite understand that some female folks may be secretive but not to a guy that you profess to love. I don't want to go into details, but my worry is that her secretiveness is really tearing us apart slowly as I hardly know her plans and when to come in, she really don't have time for us again that we only talk for 30mins in a day, why? I don't know her plans or mood. Its really annoying

Then it might be that she is hiding something from you. That is also a possibility. Sorry you need to follow your instinct. Things hardly every get better, they very often get worse.

Trust would be the watch word here, get her 2 have more trust and confidence in u, am sure she would be more open wit time

Maybe that's just the person she is

how old is the relationship? how old are you guys? Sorry for getting personal here

Immaturity might be a problem here, you can't really blame her,

Build the relationship first, build the trust, and she will become a chatty bird in no time,

charismaticdave:
Maybe that's just the person she is

how old is the relationship? how old are you guys? Sorry for getting personal here

Immaturity might be a problem here, you can't really blame her,

Build the relationship first, build the trust, and she will become a chatty bird in no time,

We are both mature... I am 29 and she is 25
The relationship is 12months old.

Thanks for your input.

Pretend as if that's nothing to you. Act responsible with love. When she is assured of your love and respect, you might be begging her to stop telling you things. Some people are very careful sha

Ain't life a biatch? We that offload everything on our minds you call us chatter boxes. Now this madam that is very economical with her tots and experiences has gotten a name too

Just messing with you...

You will have to keep telling her you want all cards on the table until she hears. The success of your relationship depends on it. I wish you luck.

saints2:


Ose padi mi...

It's not as if she is not the cheerful type or kinda boring, she is smart and lively, but too tight even her sister hardly knows her plans.

Thanks for your input

Like I STATED earlier. . . .wait till you get older.
Life is complicated with just one individual involved, not to mention 2!

Thanks folks, you guys are amazing, Moreeni, thanks I appreciate every of your input.


God bless your homes.