THE PRESCRIPTION

A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide right away. The pharmacist naturally was concerned by such a request and asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, “I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license. They’ll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not! You cannot have any cyanide!”
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well, now. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

http://www.naijafunnyvideos.com/post/the-prescription/
=================================================

HARRY AND HIS TEACHER


A primary school teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what’s your problem?”
Harry answered, “I’m too smart for primary 3 class . My sister is in the primary 5 and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the primary 5 too!”
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to primary 1 and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: “What is 3×3?”
Harry: “9”
Principal: “What is 6×6?”
Harry: “36”
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, “I think Harry can go to primary 5.”
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions.”
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”
Harry, after a moment: “Legs.”
Ms Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: “Pockets.”
Ms. Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”
Harry: “Pants.”
Ms. Brooks: “What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?”
Harry: “Coconut.”
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?”
The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, “Bubble gum.”
Ms. Brooks: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?”
Harry: “Shake hands.”
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: “What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?”
Harry: “Firetruck.”
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Harry in primary 5, I got the last seven questions wrong…”
One word for the principal?

http://www.naijafunnyvideos.com/post/harry-and-his-teacher/
===================================================


FUNNY BUT TRUE


Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police..
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a camp fire?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at boxing.
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
Why do Nigerians choose from just two people to run for president and 36 for Most Beautiful Girl In Nigerians?
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose

http://www.naijafunnyvideos.com/post/funny-but-true/
==============================================

GEOGRAPHY TEACHER

A secondary school geography teacher went to drink at a beer parlour after school on Friday. His wife was at home waiting for him to come back as usual. Past 4PM, he's not
yet back, so his wife thought he is staying for evening class.8 PM, he's not yet back so the wife became worried and alerted some friends.
They all went to the school to find where he was.They called the principal and he said the man left for home immediately after school. This made the wife to become more worried 11pm, they've not found him.
They reported to the police who joined in the search. At about 2:30am, they found the man sitting at a corner, awake and not sleeping. They reached to him and asked why he has refused to come home.
He replied, "You are all bunch of illiterates! You lack the knowledge of Geography... since the earth rotates with everything in it, I decided to sit here and wait for my house."

http://www.naijafunnyvideos.com/post/geography-teacher/
=====================================================
Laughter is the best medicine From Us At Nigerian/Naija Funny Videos