#OLD_BUT_Funny

1 . The only reason i will spend 30k on a date is if the babe come with 29k.

2.HowToSpotAWifeMaterial She will buy you an iPhone 6 and spend all her life savings on you.

3.Its only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve a problem without using violence.

4.Set candle light dinner for a nigerian girl on a dinner date and she thinks you are a ritualist.

5.In a Naija Home, your parents will call u from your room to pick up something that is sitting literally 2inches away from them.

6.She no want designer,she no want Ferrari and she fine pass Darego. Davido must be high on something,That type of girl last
existed in 1578BC

7.You tattooed his name permanently on your hand, he later broke your heart. you are now looking for his namesake up and down, #You_Are_Finished

8.Soon there will be scarcity of dark girls in 9ja... with the current trend in bleaching

9.Nowadays The evil that men do, surprises even the devil.

10.Nowadays, the Only way a chic can be 22 and a Virgin is if she fell into a Coma wen she was 10.. and she Just woke up now

11.Never say think "POSITIVE" to someone waiting for their HIV test results.

12.Segun arinze's or tinubu's face should replace the surprised smiley on bbm.

13.U re wondering why your mom's prayer ain't working? how will it work when She's praying for Oluchi Ugwu & u've changed ur
name 2 Paige Cole.

14.Secondary school students be like.... ASUU Thank You ooo, I'll soon meet Bro. John in 100 level.

15.Ibadan people, its not Sun Tisu its called SeanTizzle

16.Twitter is the only place where single people give relationship advice, virgins give sex advice, and lame people think they're celebrities.

17.Wanna know if ya man Cheating? Take his phone & run into the bathroom. If he tries to
kick down the door.. U're not d only one.

18.Sex in the kitchen is fun until boiling hot water splashes on your erect joystick.

19.The Problem with most Ugly People is that they expect Too much from the Camera.

19.You are 18 yrs old dating a man of 62 and you're like "I can't wait to see my baby" is he ur baby or your ancestor??

20.When u scream God's name during “premarital” sex, I wonder if ur tryin to remind him to punish you later..

21.Prostitute: Oga how far? U wan do?
Man: If only u go do am like my wife
Prostitute: Yes na! How she dey do am?
Man: She dey do am for free.

22.U carry Prostitute for just 1nyt & give Her 20k. Yor GF come spend 1week with u & u gave her 5k. A Bungalow is waiting 4 u in Hell

23.That 'Mogbe o' was the moment your Mother-in-Law from the village uses your iPad as candle stand.

24.Niggas stay faithful with their barber, but be cheating on their girl. Diaris God o.

25.Double dating isn't when u r dating two girls at a time, its when you're dating a girl whose weight is more than 100 kg

26.Devil: Welcome to Hell...you're trapped here for eternity, burning in the flames fueled by your sins.
Naija dude: "What's your WiFi password?"Or your free browsing code

27.Does anyone else wake up in the middle of the night thirsty as hell, and water tastes like it came from God's personal pond?

28.U love having sex with under-18 girls. Now, ur daughter's 16 yrs & u're ordering her 2 always stay indoors. U're deceiving urself ( ˘̯˘ )

29.You are a man who pilfers items from ur workplace & ur child has started stealing too. If u flog him God will flog u too

30.Some girls are financial assassins. U're using 2 fones worth 200K, & u say u need a man that would cater 4 ur needs. Craze dey
ur head!

31. Facebook, the only place you can be a genius and a graduate with a certificate of copy and pasting.

32.MTN 1500 card picked up by a good samaritan. 9985 8752 7650. Pls keep broadcasting till it gets to the rightful owner... Don't Load It pls

32.Girls are very funny creatures. They hate it when u ask them their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.

33.How 2 cross 9ja road, check sideways 4 motor, & up 4 plane-crash, & down 4 bomb, & back 4 kidnappers, Now run zig-zag 2 dodge bullets. *smh*

34.BF: I cheated!
GF: Oh Thank God! Ojoro Cancelled!
BF: What?
GF: I cheated too, with like 3 other guys.
BF: But I was talking abt my English test... LOBATAN!

35. What is a Car-Charger doing in this girl's handbag without owing or driving a car? Ah! Ah!! What a complicated world!!

36.LECTURER: It is better to FAIL than to CHEAT.
STUDENT: No sir, It is better to CHEAT than to REPEAT.

37.NIGERIA is a place where ambitious university girls engage in prostitution and brand themselves as 'RUNS GIRLS'. This
generation ehn!

38.He dumped u after 13 years? But why would you date somebody for that long na? Una be twins?

39. A man was so jealous of his new born baby that he put poison on his wife's tip... His driver dies the next day!.

#Compiled

#Like_Share_Comment

wow, hilarious... No 3 makes me Lolling on the floor

mperoakeem:
wow, hilarious... No 3 makes me Lolling on the floor

I grit-hold my teeth!... odeshi!! I no laff anytin...but then I got to numba 39!!!