Thanks for this great thread. I've learnt some very useful life lessons here.

eleojo23:
Which of these lies/excuses have you fallen for often times? Feel free to share.

Thank u for the post above.... I just read number one.......... So true...... Since 4am today my doubts has enveloped me........ But u said it all here...

' Realize that your doubts and your faith have somethingin common – they both ask you to believe in something you can’t see. You simply have to decide which one you want to believe.'

all this is before I take my weed after taking it I only hear what angels. say and nothing. else

I've made many of these mistakes--if not all. I shouldn't start counting. I should start amending them. Procrastination, one-time-won't-hurt excuse, I-can't-do-it feeling and excuse, I'm not good enough; the list is a representation of my random habits. But I choose to change.

One thing you should know is change in habits is not abrupt. Forget the 21-days-to-build-a-habit myth. The idea there is, if you can discipline yourself for straight 21 days, sustaining and increasing the motivation each day, whether you've succeeded or not, you'll have sowed the seed for sustainable change--motivation. A regular supply of it. But if you push yourself too hard to change in the twinkling of an eye, you won't make a change (well, at least you can learn the hard way that you can't do it that way). Even God did not create the earth in a day. So take it easy, but not easier than it should be.

If you have the financial ability to employ the service of a psychiatrist or a psychotherapist, do so. Most behavioral disorders can be addressed through therapy.

[quote author=eleojo23 post=31645271]Someone once said, 'it is ultimately only our own thoughts that hurt us'.

We often find ourselves at war with our minds. Our minds lie to us and make irrational excuses because it wants comfort. It is afraid of discomfort, pressure and change. The mind is absorbed in its comfort zone, and anytime we try to stretch that zone too far, for too long, the mind tries desperately to get back to ground zero at any cost… including sacrificing our long-term health, happiness and success.

In this post, we will expose some of these lies and the need to guard against falling for them.
Before I continue, I have to give credit to Marc Chernoff of marcandangel.com whose article inspired this post. I have made some alterations to the original post by using my own words but there are still places where I used his words verbatim.

Now let's get started.

Here are some of those lies and excuses that keep us from making desired changes and progress in our lives.

1. I can’t do it.
Because it seems too difficult at first, you think you can’t stick to the positive change you’re making. You begin to doubt your ability to take another step. This is a common lie/excuse that can be countered by looking at the fact that other people no more capable than you have done it. You need to tell yourself, “If he/she can do it, so can I!” And with time you will see that you were right- you could do it after all. Truth be told, the only person who can tell you “I can’t” is you. If you hear those words echoing in the back of your mind, tune them out. Realize that your doubts and your faith have something in common – they both ask you to believe in something you can’t see. You simply have to decide which one you want to believe.

2. They can do it, but that doesn’t apply to me because they have it better than me.
You think just because someone else can, doesn’t mean you can, right? You look for reasons they can do it but you can’t – maybe he’s a good writer because he has no kids. She’s way smarter than I am, that's why she always gets the best deals. She doesn’t have all the work and family obligations I have, or has a supportive spouse, that's why she can do what she does.
OK, fine, it’s easy to find excuses: but look at all the other people who also have considerable obstacles and have done it anyway. Stories abound of people with disabilities or illnesses who overcame their obstacles to achieve great things. You too can join the league of such 'champions'.
Let me share one of my own experiences before we go on to the next point.
As I was growing up, my friend was better than in school. I never thought I could be as good as he because I told myself 'He is from a family of intellectuals, his dad is a PhD holder in a very analytical field and he will soon become a professor, his brothers are also good and always take the first position or second when they want to relax a bit.' So I felt disadvantaged. Unfortunately, I believed this lie for a long time until I saw my own potential and realised that I had caged myself with a lie.

3. No one will support this decision/ choice/action.
Have you ever had a novel idea and felt that nobody will share your vision? Hear what Ghandi has to say: "Hesitating to act because the whole vision might not be achieved, or because others do not yet share it, is an attitude that only hinders progress." Don't conclude that your dream cannot come true until you have tried all possible means available to achieve it. Most times we place the death verdict on our dreams/goals even before they are born.
You never know what’s possible until you risk finding out. In the long run, there is only one thing that makes your dreams and goals completely impossible to achieve: Your lack of action today.

4. I’m stuck because I don’t have
enough time to make changes.
It is more important to know where you are going and why, than to get there quickly. In fact, the most important thing in life is knowing what the most important things in life are, and prioritizing them accordingly. The truth is, you write your own destiny through the choices you make every day. You become what you repeatedly do. Most of us spend too much time on urgent things and not enough time on important things. So do yourself a favor and implement these three action steps every time you’re building or sorting your to-do list: 1) Think about the difference between what is urgent and what is important. 2) Review all the obligations on your list. 3)Do what’s important first.

5. It’ll be too hard because I can’t do without _______.
Fill in the blank: I need my wine, my TV shows, my ten hours of sleep, my big house, my fancy wardrobe, or whatever it is that you consider very important. These are luxuries we convince ourselves we can’t live without, so we can justify not making positive changes like eating healthier or saving money or simplifying our lives or building a profitable side hustle. I’m not immune either – in the past I’ve made these excuses myself, but they all turned out to be lies. I could do without most of those things, and and so can you. Believing that you can't do without those things you hold so dear only gets in the way of the positive changes you are capable of creating for yourself. Your TV shows may be preventing you from finishing that book, studying well or attending to your job properly. Cutting down on the amount of time you spend doing the things you so cherish (which are not productive in any way) can greatly increase your productivity in things that really matter.

6. Life is meant to be easier and enjoyed more.
Sure, I agree that life should be enjoyed (as most people would) but the problem is that the idea that life should ALWAYS be easy and enjoyable is used to justify all kinds of lazy behavior. You might as well sit on the couch with some juice in hand and watch TV all day, because hey, life is meant to be enjoyed, right? (Friend, if you continue that way, your landlord will soon throw you off that couch and out of his house for not paying your rent and your juice can will be replaced with 'pure'/ sachet water!)

So you see that constantly being in the 'enjoyment mode' will land you in a mess. Fact is, you can give up a lot of comfort in your life and not lose a thing. In fact, the path of least resistance is often the path of least reward.
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. You must run to be a runner. You must write to be a writer. You must actively work on a business venture to learn how to run a successful business. There is no substitute for doing the work. So meditate on this every day: “I will do the work. It won’t be easy. It will be worth it!”

7. I deserve a reward (or a break).
We all deserve a tasty treat, or a day off. I’m not saying you shouldn’t give yourself a reward or break when one is deserved. But if you make this rationalization a primary rule for living, you’ll always be on a break. You’ll always be giving yourself rewards, and never adhering to the original plan. Here’s what you should do instead: See sticking to your plan as the reward itself. See reaching your goals as a gift you give myself. Going on a run isn’t the thing you have to get through to get a reward – the run is the reward.

8. I can do it later.
Sure, you can always do it later… but your later self will feel the same exact way. Think about it: Why should your later self be more disciplined than your present self? There’s no reason. In fact, because you’re allowing yourself to slack off now, you’re building a habit of procrastination and actually making it less likely that your later self will be more disciplined.
This excuse is one which 99% of us are guilty of. I have put off writing this post to a later time several times since the thought came to me. I kept telling myself, I will write it this evening...no, tomorrow...oh men I'm so tired already, I'll make sure I write it unfailingly on Wednesday. And so I kept postponing it. The fact that you are reading this post means that I refused to give myself that excuse any further. I have overcome this one but there are yet many more instances in the future where I will have to fight against this excuse. So it is for everyone of us. Everyday we are tempted to push things to the next day.
But today, stop making excuses for why you can’t get it done and start focusing on all the reasons why you must make it happen.
Stop talking about what you have done or what you are going to do. Just do it and let your actions speak for themselves. Most great things in life don’t happen by chance, they happen by choice.

9. One time won’t hurt.
This lie is so tempting, because it’s somewhat true – one time won’t hurt. Assuming, of course, that it really is only one time. One scoop of ice cream, one extra hour of sleep, one time procrastinating instead of working, etc.
Unfortunately, it’s never just one time. One time means your brain now knows it can get away with this excuse next time too, and the next “one time” leads to another, until you’ve completely fallen off the wagon. Make a pact with yourself: never believe the “one time” lie. If you’re going to allow yourself six hours of sleep, decide this beforehand and build it into your plan – “I will allow myself six hours of sleep every weekday” and stick to your plan, rather than deciding on the spot when your conscience is weak. It makes you more disciplined and helps you make definite progress.

10. It’s better to quit now and cut my losses.
As Winston Churchill once said, “Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It is courage to continue that counts.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. Persistence is the mother of all productive effort. Failures, small and large, happen every day to the best of us. The strongest, most productive
people aren’t the people who always succeed, but the ones who don’t give up when they lose. In the heat of the moment when you feel like quitting, think about how far you have come and why you started in the first place. Oftentimes you’re a lot closer to making a breakthrough than you think. Some people give up their efforts when they have almost reached their goal, while others conquer their goals by exerting, up until the very last possible second, more vigorous efforts than ever before. Bottom line: Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit – so KEEP GOING!

11. It’s already too late.
Nothing is too late until your tired heart stops beating. If you’re reading this right now, it means you are still alive, which means it’s not too late for you.
Things can change if you want them to at any time.
However, while accepting the fact that you can change things at any time, don't give the excuse that you've got all the time in the world. That would be going to the extreme because tomorrow is not in your hands. The point being made here is that no matter the stage you are now, change is still possible. Irrespective of what you think you've lost, focus on the present and make the best out out of it.
Right now you can choose differently and make something new happen. Your future is immediate. Grab on to it with both hands and keep moving on. When you come up on a roadblock and are faced with the choice of sitting down and doing nothing or doing something to make further progress, choose the latter.
Think, work, and climb if you have to. Move your life forward.
Today!

OK. We have seen some of the lies and excuses that our minds always come up with. Can you remember any other lie/excuse that often hinder our progress? Feel free to contribute.[/quote


True talk

good

We know lie is tempting, most of the times, but it doesn't live longer

seriously i think like this most often and it beginning to affect me, i can barely sleep. practically lost interest in doing anything anymore.

i find it hard saying something good about myself, when i think of something good i can do. A thought will just be like, "you ain't good, there are people who are much better". even when people make compliments about me like how i look and all i think they are lying or deceiving me.

Though i ve tried reading some articles about such but it aint working, and i don't feel the urge to talk to people when i feel down cause am scared that i might be bothering them with my problems.

what do u think i can do? @op