Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour - Family - Nairaland
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| Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by nicequeen: 2:51am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Anytime they have a little disagreement, no matter how little, he'll refuse to sleep on the same bed with her and rather sleep in the sitting room. He just kips doing this, even when she tries to call him to bed he shouts at her and they wouldnt even pray that night, even the next morning. He'll go to work without talking to her, only for him to call during work hours to ask how she's doing. He's just done it again cos they had a little disagreement which she didnt disclose. She's very hurt and wants to know wat to do to about it (she has a 3 month old baby so she cant leave her on the bed alone). I've told her i'll call her back in the daytime. Pls your mature advice. |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by OracleMxNelson(m): 2:53am On Mar 19, 2015 |
and why do I feel strongly that it's not her... it's you... Anyways... 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by nicequeen: 2:56am On Mar 19, 2015 |
OracleMxNelson: |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by nicequeen: 2:56am On Mar 19, 2015 |
OracleMxNelson: lol. U do not have to comment bro. 2 Likes |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by GboyegaD(m): 3:41am On Mar 19, 2015 |
She should talk to him and let him know how she feels about his actions whenever they have a disagreement. If that is how best he can manage himself for now,she should let him be and instead, join him in the sitting room m |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by centmichael101(m): 3:44am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Am coming |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by Nobody: 4:44am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Two wrongs do not make a right otherwise I would have said the woman should switch off her phone the moment the hubby leaves for work to prove a point to him too. The best way is for the wife to call him and pour her hearts to him on this issue. Guess that will solve this problem. Thanks. ........................................buy 1GB MTN Data plan for N1,200 only. 30 days duration. 24/7 services available. Call: 08107873795. Thanks & God bless. 1 Like |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by Nobody: 6:58am On Mar 19, 2015 |
very immature behavior. she should talk to him, tell him his behavior hurts..... though as a married man he should know better. poor woman, she has 2 babies to look after  4 Likes |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by Nobody: 7:17am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Maybe that's the man's way of finding peace after a heated argument. ... Though immature, I will say she leaves him to that.. the way he shouts at her whenever she tries to persuade him to go bk to the bedroom shows he may even do worse if disturbed further, so leave the man alone... People have different ways of easing off after an argument, some give their spouse silent treatment    , some don't eat their wife's food, .. some leave the house  .. etcshe can talk to him about his actions when they're in a good mood... But the best way to stop his action is to stop the argument and strt resolving issues amicably just the way adults should. ... 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by xynerise: 7:34am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Even a choleric fellow doesn't act this way. I think he is having the fun somewhere else. Not necessarily with a woman. You need to spice things up. Avoid irrelevant arguments and create a fun activity during boring hours together. |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by Nobody: 8:55am On Mar 19, 2015 |
MarvellousGod: I agree. But the thing about constantly telling him of how hurt she feels about it gives him more power to continue the act. She ccould tell him now but if he repeats it then she has to accept thats his flaw. Remember that people who act this way, do so to either manipulate the other person or make the person feel bad. Like some sort of punishment emotionally. The husband must be a hardcore melancholic. I hope he isnt amongst men who would keep malice for a year. Wouldnt like a melancholic for a husband because i am too non chalant for such drama. The woman should always let him be whenever he starts it and use that space of time as ME TIME. Thats what i would do. afterall everyone needs their space. when he sees his manipulation aint working, he would adjust. 1 Like |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by pickabeau1: 9:12am On Mar 19, 2015 |
nicequeen: what are the issues causing this little little disagreements Why is she not listening and modifying the bad behaviour |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by goodheart4God: 9:57am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Little disagreement could be big to some spouse. I don't really like spouses that evade communication. Cos to me with communication most of the problem will be solved. If after talking to him severally he still behaves that way. I will advise the lady to start ignoring him. It will be painful for her at the beginning but it will pay her off. She should try and reduce the things that causes friction and if she is wrong she should apologize n move on. If he decides to sulk like a baby it is his headache. Marriage needs a lot of emotional intelligence to be with a spouse that doesn't care for you. I wonder why some men will want to lead people tomorrow at various places when they lack the simplest intelligence to handle marital conflict. 7 Likes |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by mystiqueDZ(f): 9:59am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Leave him to the discomfort of the couch then!! |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by freecocoa(f): 10:14am On Mar 19, 2015 |
What you term "little disagreement" may not be so little after all, but then he won't just go back to normal after sulking, if it was a serious issue. I suggest she tell him to stop that rubbish with immediate effect. Seriously though, constantly telling him how it makes her feel will empower him to do it more, seeing that he is already acting like a child, if it were me, I'd ignore him and act like nothing happened, this is after I've called his attention to it and he still won't stop, I can't even be with someone that acts this way to start with, except he learnt that one after marriage. The key to winning people like this, is behaving like you didn't even notice their childish prank. I will never be able to understand why an adult would need to sulk for hours on end over everything that annoys him/her(especially if the matter is trivial), learn to communicate, that is why you are supposed to be an adult in the first place. 3 Likes |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by Nobody: 11:43am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Sophyrocks:Lols@ keeping malice for a year... From her write up, this isn't the first time... So it's invariably same thing I advised her, to let the man be whenever he strts, maybe that's his own way of easing off... The woman too can ease off... But then it's too immature. ... |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by bennyrazz: 11:55am On Mar 19, 2015 |
@op ask your friend to live with it. No marriage is 100% perfect. At least husband comes back to reality after two or three days and again hubby does not hit her? so why the unnecessary fuss? or is she having insecurity issues? |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by Nobody: 11:59am On Mar 19, 2015 |
MarvellousGod: It is immature. Which is why i cnt be married to a melancholic because it will bore me to death. What can one do but to manage it in the best possible way. |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by edwife(f): 1:33pm On Mar 19, 2015 |
Immature i will say,yes but we all can't act or be the same innit? If this is his way of avoiding confrontation or arguments,leave him to it.Why keep begging him if it is not working. I will not ask her to avoid those little disagreements because,In a marriage disagreements are bound to happen more often that we will want to,i suggest that she stop worrying much about him sleeping on the couch as long as the couch is comfortable and care more about the little one. After all,he always check on her when he is calm. 1 Like |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by Penssuwa(m): 2:30pm On Mar 19, 2015 |
A good way to avoid committing assault or murder |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by Nobody: 1:11am On Mar 20, 2015 |
nicequeen: I suppose this is a new marriage Hahahahaha Welcome to the institution The man is still In that stage where he is acting like a baby and expects to be babied Don't fall for that 419 scam They all do it Just ignore him and allow him sleep on that couch,no be am go get stiff neck Don't beg him to come to the bedroom Men who act this way are empowered by seeing the woman beg ,like she will die if he refuses to come to the bed That is called manipulation He will eventually come to his senses if you pay Him no attention Just like a crying baby,if you pick him up whenever he cries,he figures out that all he has to do is cry to get your attention If you ignore him,after a while he will find out it doesn't work 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by Ilekeh(f): 2:05am On Mar 20, 2015 |
nicequeen: Stop rushing into marriage. African marriages. |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by Richy4(m): 2:15am On Mar 20, 2015 |
i discovered it was the female folks that were commenting more on this thread What ever you do that makes your husband or friend to refuse meal or skip sleeping on the same bed with you, please stop it. do not be quick to say he is immature. he was running away from beating the devil out of you. so let him be at the moment. 1 Like |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by nicequeen: 9:45am On Mar 20, 2015 |
Richy4: Even wit little argument? |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by Femsyn(m): 5:13pm On Mar 20, 2015 |
Some people are better left alone in the heat of the moment, and that is evident in him calling when he's calm. I feel that's the way he's wired and should be managed as such. I don't think he's immature. |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by SAMBARRY: 5:27pm On Mar 20, 2015 |
Behaving like a 6 year old kid that the mother refused to buy him biscuit on their way back from church and so resorts to childish tantrums. Op you have married a child you just don't know. You think he's a man because he looks like one but that's what my 8year old niece will do when her mother didn't cook the food she doesn't like. I can bet what I will have been seeing here if it was thewoman acting llike that she's childish she needs to grow up she needs to go back to her fathers house and learn manners she's spoilt leave her |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by Nobody: 11:54pm On Mar 20, 2015 |
Dear, sometimes one needs to ignore else it saps your emotions.Its so clear the husband is playing on her emotions.i think you should advice her to ignore him as much as he ignores her. If he goes to the sitting room to sleep, go there drop a pillow and duve, come back to the room and sleep with your baby.Make his dinner, avoid him and retire to your room with your baby. Greet him as usual but continue to give him as much space as possible.If he talks to you, let it be issue based ,reply according to the discourse on ground.If he calls you, reply modestly. But remember to be on your own, like give him space.THAT THING WEY DEY WORRY AM NO GO LAST FOR HIM HEAD. 1 Like |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by Woged2005(f): 1:25am On Mar 21, 2015 |
It's not only your husband. Most men do that...mine does it too. I will advise you stop doing whatever you do that makes him do that if you do not want to come to NL to cry. Arguments create a negative energy in a relationship. Learn to keep your mouth shut sometimes and walk away if the mood is not right for a discussion. Master when and how to get what you want from your husband without fights and argument. Every man is different. Each man has a good time to bring up a possible heated discussion. Raising such discussions once he comes back from work stressed out and before bedtime are never good times for men to talk. For mine it's best after a good meal, or after a good s*x when nerves are calm, and I am resting on his chest. The bottom line is to gauge his pulse when he is happy and in a good mood, then test his mood with a silly joke like "baby, ur tommy is coming out, I am feeding u well" . If he reacts negatively, then he's not in a good mood to talk. However, if he laughs at the joke then try another silly joke till he gets into a discussion mode...then u can romantically drop the 'bomb'..eg "Baby, I need more money for house allowance"...or "This Omotola that's always texting you, is she the girl in ur office u talked about sometime?" ......  If u keep your voice as low and calm as possible, his response will also be low and calm. .....if his explanation is not satisfactory, end it sarcastically like "Some of this girls have no shame at all..doesn't she know u are married?". Your goal is to let him know that u know he's been communicating with another girl. He'll get the message. There's a reason why Communication is a course. If my hubby begins to flare up, I get into the bathroom and take a very loooooooooooong shower until he shuts up. Love and virtue conquers all. May your marriage be healed IJN! 4 Likes |
| Re: Advice On Her Husband's Behaviour by Richy4(m): 2:13am On Mar 21, 2015 |
nicequeen: my dear you are a woman. there are things that ladies call little that are indeed not little. I know you will not understand me. but the men would understand what i am talking about. the guy in question here, i believe he is the quite type of person but got married to some one that talks, so when that thing they tagged "little argument" rears it's ugly head, the guy withdraws and would not like to push it further. then she will start pleading. Have you ever seen a talk-active man the wife begs over a small argument. |
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