Hello house,

please i have a very good friend who loves me so much but she just likes to complain most times. Currently i do not have a job but very sure i'll get one very soon. She's just abt. 28yrs but i'm older than her by about 5months. She doesn't really hide the fact from me that there r fully employed guys after her for instant marriage if she just says yes to them.

I'm really scared of losing her because she's been a source of strength to me. Although i've not met any of her family members but she told her mother about me sometimes ago. The mother thinks I'll make an ideal husband for her and encouraged her to go on with me.

We don't see each other frequently anymore compared to when we started although we can talk on phone for an average of about 5 times a day.
THE PROBLEM NOW IS THAT SHE THINKS SHE'S PUTTING ME UNDER PRESSURE BUT I'VE ALWAYS TOLD HER THAT SHE ISN'T. SHE LOVES ME, SHE BELIEVES IN ME SO MUCH BUT SHE'S SCARED OF HERSELF STILL BEING SINGLE BY 30.

ANOTHER PROBLEM IS THAT SHE PLAYS PRANKS WITH ME THAT SHE CAN'T CONTINUE BUT ONLY TO SAY SHE'S SORRY.I'M REALLY NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THE JOKES.

PLEASE,I LOVE HER SO MUCH TO WANT TO GET MARRIED TO HER.
WHAT DO I DO?

THANKS IN ANTICIPATION FOR YOUR ADVICE.

Hmm tough one

Hey Poster,

You reminded me of me and my bf back in those days when we first started dating.

Ok, Ive been frustrated as well before because my bf is broke and I have  been supporting him financially for quite some time so heres the thing.

What you can do:-
* Give her your main objective and tell her what do you plan to do which will make her feel a slight relief:-
E.g.: 1) U seeking a job (what job, which job, where is the job and so on)
        2) Your future goals and plans (it can be an estimated one to ensure her that you are a dependable man)
        3) Tell her how serious you are in this relationship
        4) Give her an estimated time frame on how long shall she wait. Make sure its not that long and also not too short
            in order for you to keep to your promise and to fulfill both your needs. Make sure you keep to your words oooo. .
* Tell her that all you are seeking for in her is trust, faith, support and a little prayer for blessings

As for her. . . well. . . Hmmm. . . She has to figure it out for herself because to be honest, it takes two hands to clap. Its not just you or its not just her doing all the hard work. It does not work out that way.

Hope it helps.  

uhn>?

Hey brotha. whats wrong now? Did I say something wrong?

gabrywyl:

Hey Poster,

You reminded me of me and my bf back in those days when we first started dating.

Ok, Ive been frustrated as well before because my bf is broke and I have been supporting him financially for quite some time so heres the thing.

What you can do:-
* Give her your main objective and tell her what do you plan to do which will make her feel a slight relief:-
E.g.: 1) U seeking a job (what job, which job, where is the job and so on)
2) Your future goals and plans (it can be an estimated one to ensure her that you are a dependable man)
3) Tell her how serious you are in this relationship
4) Give her an estimated time frame on how long shall she wait. Make sure its not that long and also not too short
in order for you to keep to your promise and to fulfill both your needs. Make sure you keep to your words oooo. .
* Tell her that all you are seeking for in her is trust, faith, support and a little prayer for blessings

As for her. . . well. . . Hmmm. . . She has to figure it out for herself because to be honest, it takes two hands to clap. Its not just you or its not just her doing all the hard work. It does not work out that way.

Hope it helps.

Thanks.
Wow, This is actually what have been sustaining our relationship.I tell her virtually everything thing about my plans and how I'm progressing. It puts her into a comfortable zone which runs out after sometimes.

I really appreciate your advice.

More piece of advice are welcome.

Please free her to go.
The reason is simple the person you will become when you are made is very faint right now.
You do not know what your choices will be like, taste etc
Besides time is not on her side
I know it can be very hurting
But let her go
You guys can still be friends

@limuel

I really wish you knew who I am. Infact, that's one of the reasons why she likes me.She knows me very well and even getting to know some family members and friends of mine.

The day I wanted to call it off because of the pressures, I couldn't just do that coz it was like I should commit suicide.

kelly_hand,

Dont give up hope. Like I said, my bf and I have been in your condition. And there were many times I wanted to break it off because I could not bare supporting him all the time and many of my friends and family thinks that Im the most stupid gil theyve ever met. But the thing is that I was thinking that its not fair for him. Is like what? Just because he is a guy, he have to bare all expenses?

I tried putting myself in his shoes and see how would I feel if I were in his shoes. I came to a conclusion that I needed to give him time and space to try to be a man and also because we are partners, my job is actually to give him the full support which he needed when in times of need.And thats when I continued paying.

The catch was that if he ends up cheating me, I know for a fact that I would be heart broken but another fact is that he would have a bad karma and a bad reincarnation state so I think its fair enough.

I have been working 3-4 jobs to pay evrything and after one year, we started sharing the bills and in 2 years, he took me off from paying and h started paying. . . To be honest, when he pays for eveyrthing, I felt ba and I just dont feel its right but he insisted.

And as for him, all he has to do is to plan well and gt his butt rolling. He told me his plans and how long and he always tells me that he would try and he updates me on his actions in order fo me to not misunderstood him. It made me felt as ease and also I know that he needs my support in desperate times. So I would just like to tell you to kep to your words, update your gf on your status and always emind her how much you love her.

Like they always say, patience is a virtue. If you are patient, you will eentually get to where you're heading. Good luck and all the best

Poster

Good you know. Then just p lay along untill she confuses convinces herself. Women mentality as usual .

Guys and ladies, thanks so much for your advice.

Things r still the same they are,  infact i think they're not getting better.
She's told me to give her sometime off.

I really don't what to do.
I'm trying to free up my emotions so that I don't get too hurt if at all she throws in the towel but I'm finding that difficult to do.

Please, experienced ideas will be helpful. Thanks.

Do something real quick! I mean real quick Man!

kelly_hand:

Guys and ladies, thanks so much for your advice.

Things r still the same they are, infact i think they're not getting better.
She's told me to give her sometime off.

I really don't what to do.
I'm trying to free up my emotions so that I don't get too hurt if at all she throws in the towel but I'm finding that difficult to do.

Please, experienced ideas will be helpful. Thanks.

This is very delicate matter, i suggest u give her time

kelly_hand:

Guys and ladies, thanks so much for your advice.

Things r still the same they are, infact i think they're not getting better.
She's told me to give her sometime off.

I really don't what to do.
I'm trying to free up my emotions so that I don't get too hurt if at all she throws in the towel but I'm finding that difficult to do.

Please, experienced ideas will be helpful. Thanks.

1 very very very key advice: Never codone an impatient woman.
Since she wants sometime off, let her be. Don't call nor text her, don't contact any of her friends. Just act like you both have already broken up.
You owe her nothign as it is, so you are still a 'freeman'. This doesn't mean you'd go about f%&$in every jane, janet and jennifer oo!
Just give her the space she asked for immediately and start hatching a plan-B(start preparing a standby girlfriend, man! there are many more beautiful(inside and outside) ladies out there that can even help you out of your joblesnes s if you'd allow them come into your life. Don't let one woman rub your nose on th floor bcuz of your TEMPORARY jobless state.
If she really cared and was the one for you, she'd be helping you with job applications and searching not nagging and joke-threatning to leave you.
WISEN-UP SON!!!

Kelly hand

Behind all those complaint, "pranks" and insinuation, is a girl that would leave you at the drop of hat, once she makes up her mind up, about which one her suitors to go with.

She wants to settle down, but due to the fact that age is no longer on her side, your unemployed state is giving her a cause for concern.

If you really love her as you claim, why don't you ask for her hand in marriage, and then have the family do the necessary introductory rites, and when you become financially solvent, you can start planning for the engagement/wedding.

But then again, before you end up getting saddled with this disaffected girlfriend of yours, what was she like when you had a job? Did she have any other complaint?

perhaps she's not good enough 4 marriage.don't rob d bank because of her.

[b][/b] [color=#000099][/color]Mind games are very dangerous, i think u should start taking ur mind off the whole thing right about now i am not saying you should give it up, but take ur mind off so so that when the worse happens u dont loose and if nothing gets to happen you still dont loose, but i cant condone an impatient woman its really not worth it, but the consolation there is that what is your will definitely be your irrespective of situations,

Seeing that you really truly love her -then marry her.
YES-go ahead and marry her now. Do a quiet little wedding with a handful of close friends. When you've got the big job,apartment and company car-you can then renew your vows or go for a proper honeymoon.
You don't need to break the bank to marry a girl whom you obviously love -and she'd stick by your side(highs and lows) if she sees how committed your goals and future prospects are.