I posted this like a month ago but didnt get enough help as expected, so the issue is still on ground. I have decided to post it again may be nairalanders might be of help.

My name is ola and this is all about my cousin.
My cousin (name withheld), age 27, who graduated from unilorin in 2010 was so much lucky to secure job in a nice company in lagos. Before he became a man of his own, he was leaving on his parents and his father has been supportive. He had worked partly in many small companies to make a living before gaining admission into unilorin. The problem he had then is that whenever he collected his salary, his father would collect it and give him what to spend. At first he tought it was normal not until his father turned it into a routine task. As soon as he collected his salary his father would collect and divide. This happened for a while before he quit and gained admission.
When he fortunately secured employment in lagos in 2013 after 3years of searching, he though he had become a man of himself but his father cleared his doubt. The first salary he collected, his father asked for it in cash and he complied. He shared it and kept the rest. The only song of his father is 'you are too young to spend money without guidance, i dont want you to perish because you are not married'. Whenever this my cousin wants to do anything big, he must inform my uncle, who is his father. This has been going on from then till this moment. He is confused, he wanted to quit the job but i said he shouldn't.
Pls wise people on nairaland, what should he do? He respects his father alot, but he needs his freedom.

So complicated! He shouldn't quit the job.. He should man up. 27 yrs isn't young again.. He needs to voice out.

But Ola, are u sure u are not the guy in qtn

At 27!!!!! His father treats him like a 4yo and he's confused?? Really?? He should stand up for himself cos his father is exploiting him big time. What sort of father is this sef? When he's supposed to advise his son to be a man of himself. smh!!!!

Hmmm

Age 27 is not a kid anymore. If he still lives under his father's roof, he should move out asap. There is no need quitting the job. All he has to do is be a MAN and stop letting the Father be the Okonjo Iweala of his economy.

His mates are already married with kids, he should get himself ready for that with his salary.

42n8dzydoo:
But Ola, are u sure u are not the guy in qtn

no, am not

Mods, i would be glad if this could make front page... Tanx

Renylee:
At 27!!!!! His father treats him like a 4yo and he's confused?? Really?? He should stand up for himself cos his father is exploiting him big time. What sort of father is this sef? When he's supposed to advise his son to be a man of himself. smh!!!!

Age does not measure maturity, it could be that he is a careless spender. The fact that he is confused over minor issue as this speaks a volume.


@OP, tell him to say NO to his father and mean it.

But wait, is the old man spending the money or saving it for him?

I dont get the advice u need!!!!
Look your father in the eye and tell him you are investing your money urself!
Mtchewww

what nonsense!!
let him get himself an apartment far from where his dad lives and start up his life, if not he will never have control over his own life,
his father will decide when he marries,
the girl he marries,
how many children he will have,
what to spend on his wife,
when to build a house,
how much to spend on his family,

if I continue the list will be endless.

he should grow some balls, what kind of man is he ?
at 27 still acting like a child even after he has acquired a degree certificate and a job.
mhen! your cousin must be spineless.

if his father doesn't agree to him moving out, he should just pack his load and move out without letting his dad know when he leaves and where he is going to.

Tallesty1:
Age does not measure maturity, it could be that he is a careless spender. The fact that he is confused over minor issue as this speaks a volume.


@OP, tell him to say NO to his father and mean it.

But wait, is the old man spending the money or saving it for him?

even me sef no knw

Dheartless:
what nonsense!!
let him get himself an apartment far from where his dad lives and start up his life, if not he will never have control over his own life,
his father will decide when he marries,
the girl he marries,
how many children he will have,
what to spend on his wife,
when to build a house,
how much to spend on his family,

if I continue the list will be endless.

he should grow some balls, what kind of man is he ?
at 27 still acting like a child even after he has acquired a degree certificate and a job.
mhen! your cousin must be spineless.

if his father doesn't agree to him moving out, he should just pack his load and move out without letting his dad know when he leaves and where he is going to.

helpful

42n8dzydoo:
But Ola, are u sure u are not the guy in qtn

This has become a cliché. Help if you want to. It doesn't matter if he's the one or not.

His first salary is understandable (depending on the culture of where he comes from). But after that he decides how he spends his money.

Advice: if his dad ask for his salary again, let your cousin tell his dad, that it is now time to apply all what he (dad) has been teaching him. It is now time to try out his maturity. If he needs any advice he would let him know. He should say this as politely as possible.

It's funny and not very common to see a father leeching on his son like that so I am going to make an excuse for the man.
The one maybe that comes to mind is..
Maybe the man does not trust his son's money making decisions and is just helping him do something useful with it. At least I have seen that happen from a certain elderly brother's angle who encouraged his careless adult but younger brother to save some money with him and he ended up buying a property in the brother's name .

But then ,he definitely isn't a man yet and it might just be that his father sees that and is taking advantage of the situation. A 27 year old should know when to stand his ground and firmly but respectfully say NO to his parents on any matter. The only tutorials he needs is learning to say NO. however he chooses to manage his finances should be his business alone!
The only duty a parent should to him now is just counsel.

I did not really wanna laugh but this is really something I cannot place my hands on why the man was doing that.
assuming the guy attended private university, I would have said ok that explains it. But federal university products are kinda trained to grow some balls when they faces reality.

Ok I will suggest this guy look for a house quietly without involving any one...

It will cause a major misunderstanding between the two but where there is no conflict, there will be no peace.

vfactor:


This has become a cliché. Help if you want to. It doesn't matter if he's the one or not.

Your biz! I already gave what I had to offer. So face ur fraction of the shii.

orisirisi strange occurrences! Ola, it's time to get ur own apartment far away from your father and manage your finances. You sound so localeeee

42n8dzydoo:

Your biz! I already gave what I had to offer. So face ur fraction of the shii.

You can rap oo. Give me verse 2 biko!

Does he collect the money at gunpoint?

I think i agree with his father, if at 27 he is still seeking advise on how to handle this issue, then his dad shld continue handlng his finances.

vfactor:


You can rap oo. Give me verse 2 biko!

Verse 2 is so short. Here u go!

42n8dzydoo:

Verse 2 is so short. Here u go!

Quite short, and vulgar too. Oya verse 3. Don't tell me u re a two-verse rap star

The man is very funny..

vfactor:


Quite short, and vulgar too. Oya verse 3. Don't tell me u re a two-verse rap star

Hahahahahah. Make i free you

You are quite a personality.

To be frank, your cousin is an idiat!

I could remember when I was still working, my mom did not even know how much I had in my account let alone my dad and I'm not even 27 yet.

BTW, he said he needs his freedom?

You don't need to pack out of your P man house to have freedom, all you need is a key to a room and beats by Dre.

Dazzal!

his Dad shouldn't be the one collecting the salary and dictating how much the son spends. he's only using style to take advantage of him and leeching off him. this has been happening since 2010, he's 27 now. he will never grow up and be his own man if this continues .

What's the relationship between his decision of "wanting" to quit his job and tackling his dad headlong? I do not understand