willexyaho:
Can somebody plz summarize dis.

he talk say make papa and mama no dey spoil there pinkin

He come add say at age 18, make papa dey drive pinkin commot for house, say make them go dey work,

After some time he come say imagine papa go dey give pinkin 250,000.00k as chop money ohh!
Say them go go look for work come dey say make them owner of the work increase their salary pass there papa own.

Na there I stop shall

So true but a lot of us young men are already on our own, our parents are the ones that now visit us occasionally. Thanks for the letter in any case.

As much as this is a very good write up and I can relate with what the OP has said, yet, this is not representative of the average Nigerian family/parents.

Most Nigerian parent are hustling to put 3 square meals on their kids' table. They take loans from their business/workplace to pay their children through school.

OP's submission is more about the 1% who are in the corridors of power, the super rich who made their money from stealing from govt coffers.

Can somebody please summarise this story

I hate reading copied unedited text. This is first class plagiarism. Please quote the source of your story next time.

so true. d first job i did as a student in uk. was in Aston villa stadium. saw lots of students white, european blks. nd i was surprised. cos i tot dey no need money

Nice one!
Food for thought dear parents..
Think and act!!!

This is a very good article.

The poster is very accurate and spot on. This is a serious problem.

I can authoritatively say that the problem of over-parenting has eaten deep into our university system.

I regularly meet with parents whose children have bad grades as a result of unseriousness. You can not but feel sorry for Nigeria if you see how these parents try to use money to change their children's poor grades.

God help us.

Ezedon:
I'm very scared of this, now we have a president without certificate

lol, has a Masters.

Dey there dey deceive una sef....in a country where economy seems to grind to a halt...companies running to ghana....no stable employment for those who are ready to work, na one pikin wey just one do holiday job go now get...I don't support overparenting but the writer of that article should wake up and stop dreaming...this isn't UK......

raayah:


If you also have a car in Nigeria, you pay insurance. That one is everywhere.
Yes, Nigeria has strong family unit. What does it do for us?.
We have so much but do so little.

Take for instance, we probably have the best soil in the world. We expand on this, do mechanized farming and our kids( 16 and above) start working and produce export for the country.

America and china depend so much on exportation. Imagine if we capitalize on our minerals and oil. Send kids to trade school, teach them how to mine, navigate oil fields, drive tractors$ special vehicles. Pay them during training to encourage them. University isnt for everybody.

We will become a world player. How can life begin at 30?. If having a family is your main priority in life, go for it.

I did not say it was perfect. There are some things we take for granted. You need to live on both perspectives to understand my point. Africans live longer, have better health long term, appreciate family, are more matured over all. In the west you'll see a 30 year old acting like a 12 year old, just because he never mature properly nor had the proper guidance.

Viciyus:


The op no ask why many people dey join Boko nowadays,

Or dey arm robber people,

No job for naija.

no mind d mumu...all what he wrote was possible because those guys have advanced economy in europe...but here wey be say africa's economy wan commit suicide for atlantic ocean, about to jump in.....what can only be learnt is handwork skills(vocational)

A word is enough for the wise!

http://leadership.ng/opinions/420723/letter-to-nigerian-parents for those of u that love source abi sauce

Viciyus:

I know your type.

Yahoo yahoo boys.

You don go get one old white woman were dey feed you

I don't blame you for your swift judgment...I suppose it's as a result of what you hear and see...I save money, I do gigs around (play bass guitar for bands, busker on the streets, play at pubs), I make beats and sell, I sell second hand electronics and help people sell theirs too thereby getting commission, I cook and sell (cos I study culinary as a minor), I do homework for people and get paid, I make lotsa friends around so I get free food half the time...so don't come judging people around when you apparently know nothing about who they are in actuality...so ferme ta bouche my nigga

Nicr... I love this

True talk!

Ezedon:
I'm very scared of this, now we have a president without certificate

Wake up and smell the roses joor. Havent you heard that the certificate has been located and viewed on social media? Leave that dead issue alone! It bears no relevance to the topic anyway!

Wonderful write up. I only hope parents will straighten up and take bold steps in the right direction. Matter of fact, unless you teach your kids that you expect them to contribute to your upkeep even if you can afford it, they will not learn responsibility! Yes, let them know they are obliged to give back after been raised and kept by you. The kids that are being raised with a wrong sense of entitlement is completely wrong. My graduate son stopped expecting money from us since he started earning during his NYSC.Any money he received was a 'loan' and is expected to be paid back. As his mum, he pays me back. His dad waives his off most of the time but it is never any money beyond what he is earning!

I hear you.

Lekki Housewives

Thanks a lot for your letter
but the ppl that needs to read it may never see it.

I beg to defer with the writers opinion I schooled in UK and I did see a lot of young people work and earn a living which was as a result of the way their system is runned and trust Nigerians they adapted to the system most working like their UK counterparts and even paying their fees. Why was this possible because they have a well structured payment system, there is little difference between the high ended earner working in KFC in UK is OK to pay ones bills and have a little savings, how much is being paid to people working in mr Biggs in lagos? What is the cost of living in Lagos? The total population in UK is the population of the amount of youths in Nigeria, the fact is that our employment industry is messed up and the youths have been groomed to be layed back because of the insufficiency of the employment industry. I for one do not support people without jobs living a flamboyant lifestyle, the reason being that this is possible is that our workforce system is broken. Then there is this thin about unemployable graduates, I have seen a lot of graduates who sat at home for years hustled to go abroad for further study or work and get good jobs in fact the western countries have passed laws to eject our people from overseas because they are taking all the jobs there. The question is why isn't this happening here at home? I am not saying all our graduates are top notch but what of the good ones?

Also its not bad for a parent to give his child a launching pad in life some of the most successful people in the world have benefited from I.e bill gates, dangote, JP Morgan etc. Striking a balance is the key to success we should go beyond or behind board.

see the number of view and compare it to Toto decay own. OP no one want the truth.

Ezedon:
I'm very scared of this, now we have a president without certificate

And you believed that crap?
So if you can't find your secondary school results that means you didn't go to secondary school?
What else did PDP tell you that you believed?

I am of no political inclination (all parties are the same) but I didn't believe that one bit.

I really love the part that says:

jazzy4naija:
We have a
society of young people who
have been brought up to expect something for
nothing, as if it were a
birth right.

Nigerian youths of today think money can be picked on the streets FOC. SMH.

As a lecturer I see such students everytime who think you should award them scores without attending a test or practical class. In their words "just help me sir".
Over pampered generation. Shame unto their parents.

Ezedon:
I'm very scared of this, now we have a president without certificate

Nigwrians are synonymous with mediocrity.

@topic, Only very few wealthy parents put their children through normal life to test the hard knocks. I for one will horn the skills of my kids at tender ages. By 20, my son should be a full blown architect, builder, musician, financial expert, business guru and more.

In as much i love your writeup i want to include something , i have heard this same message by bishop Oyedepo and i hate it. Im a parent now but my up bringing was bad, my spirit was killed by my parents especially my father. He want us to be close now but its too late. Im trying my best but d past hunts. My point is this u as a parent should bring your child up in d way of d Lord and pls listen to them too dont just assume Mr & Mrs know all. My first son prefers to b with me always, y? i listened, i got closer i play with them. I dont just shut them down in d name of discipline. What im saying is that not when you lost your children during formative age now you come to say blabla. It does not work.

blank:
Seriously?

This again?

How many times will this letter be recycled on this forum.

Breaking Rule !4.

At least once a month. Truth is bitter.

Narcissistic parents. I, sometimes, declines from parents if I see they're breathing hard to make it. I don't expect anything from anyone. If they come, I accept them. If not, forget it. I hope to take a job soon. Lemme try something new.

jazzy4naija:
LETTER TO NIGERIAN PARENTS (Please read to the end)

Friends,

Let me add the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in
the UK - and I live in Lagos now. The first thing that I discovered
about UK-born, white, English undergraduates was that all of them did
holiday or weekend job to support themselves - including the children
of millionaires amongst them. It is the norm over there - regardless
how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually
all other foreign students did the same - the exception being those of
us status-conscious Nigerians.

I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline) speaking on
the Biography Channel and, to my amazement; he said that his young
children travel in the economy class -even when the parents (he and
his wife) are in upper class. Richard Branson is a billionaire in
Pound Sterling. A quick survey would show you that only children from
Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the
UK . No other foreign students do this. There is no aircraft attached
to the office of the prime minister in the UK - he travels on BA. And
the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for
her exclusive use.

These practices simply become the culture which the next generation
carries forward. Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton the lass
married to Prince William drives? VW Golf or something close to it.
But there's one core difference in them and us (generally speaking).
They - the billionaires among them work for their money, we steal
ours!

If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been
praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let's
begin now and teach them to work hard so that they can stand alone and
most importantly be content, and not have to "steal". This seems to be
the norm these days.

"30 is the new 18", which seems to be the new age for testing out the
world in Nigeria now. That seems to be an unspoken but widely accepted
mindset among the last 2 generations of parents in Nigeria .

At age 18 years, a typical young adult in the UK leaves the clutches
of his/her parents for the University, chances are, that's the last
time those parents will ever play "landlord" to their son or daughter
except of course the occasional home visits during the academic year.

At 21 years and above or below, the now fully grown and independent
minded adult graduates from University, searches for employment, gets
a job and shares a flat with other young people on a journey into
becoming fully fledged adults.

I can hear the echo of parents saying, well, that is because the UK
economy is thriving, safe, well structured and jobs are everywhere? I
beg to differ and I ask that you kindly hear me out. I am UK trained
Recruitment Consultant and I have been practicing for the past 10
years in Nigeria . I have a broad range of experience from recruiting
graduates to executive director level of large corporations. In
addition, I talk from the point of view of someone with relatively
privileged upbringing.

Driven to school every day, had my clothes washed for me, was barred
from taking any part-time job during my A-levels so that I could
concentrate on studying for my exams?! BUT, I got the opportunity to
live apart from my parents from age 18 and the only time I came back
home to stay was for 3 months before I got married!

Am I saying that every parent should wash their hands off their
children at age 18? No, not at all, of course, I enjoyed the savings
that I made from living on and off at my parent's house in London -
indeed that is the primary reason for my being able to buy myself a 3
bedroom flat in London at age 25 with absolutely no direct financial
help from my parents!

For me, pocket money stopped at age 22, not that it was ever enough
for my lifestyle to compete with Paris Hilton's or Victoria Beckham's.
Meanwhile today, we have Nigerian children who have never worked for 5
minutes in their lives insisting on flying "only" first or business
class, carrying the latest Louis Vuitton ensemble, Victoria 's Secret
underwear and wearing Jimmy Choo's, fully paid for by their "loving"
parents.

I often get calls from anxious parents, my son graduated 2 years ago
and is still looking for a job, can you please assist! Oh really! So
where exactly this "child" is my usual question. Why are you the one
making this call dad/mum?

I am yet to get a satisfactory answer, but between you and me, chances
are that big boy is cruising around Lagos with a babe dressed to the
nines, in his dad's spanking new SUV with enough "pocket money" to put
your salary to shame. It is not at all strange to have a 28 year old
who has NEVER worked for a day in his or her life in Nigeria but
"earns" a six figure "salary" from parents for doing absolutely
nothing.
I see them in my office once in a while, 26 years old with absolutely
no skills to sell, apart from a shiny CV, written by his dad's
secretary in the office. Of course, he has a driver at his beck and
call and he is driven to the job interview. We have a fairly decent
conversation and we get to the inevitable question - so, what salary
are you looking to earn? Answer comes straight out - N250,000.00. I
ask if that is per month or per annum.

Of course it is per month. Oh, why do you think you should be earning
that much on your first job? Well, because my current pocket money is
N200,000.00 and I feel that an employer should be able to pay me more
than my parents. I try very hard to compose myself, over parenting is
in my opinion the greatest evil handicapping the Nigerian youth. It is
at the root of our national malaise.

We have a youth population of tens of millions of who are being
"breastfed and diapered" well into their 30s. Even though the examples
I have given above are from parents of considerable affluence, similar
patterns can be observed from Abeokuta to Adamawa! Wake up mum! Wake
up dad! You practically love your children to death! No wonder
corruption continues to thrive. We have a society of young people who
have been brought up to expect something for nothing, as if it were a
birth right.

I want to encourage you to send your young men and women (anyone over
20 can hardly be called a child!) out into the world, maybe even
consider reducing or stopping the pocket money to encourage them to
think, explore and strive. Let them know that it is possible for them
to succeed without your "help".

Take a moment to think back to your own time as a young man/woman,
what if someone had kept spoon feeding you, would you be where you are
today? No tree grows well under another tree, children that are not
exposed to challenges, don't cook well. That is why you see adults
complaining, "my parents didn't buy clothes for me this Christmas",
ask him/her how old are you? 30 years +. Because of the challenges we
faced in our youth, we are where and what we are today. This
syndrome-my children will not suffer what I suffered is destroying our
tomorrow.

Deliberately, reduce their allowance or mum-don't cook on Saturday
till late afternoon or evening-do as occasion deserve.

I learnt the children of a former Nigerian head of state with all the
stolen (billions) monies in their custody, still go about with
security escort as wrecks. They are on drugs, several times because of
the drug, they collapse in public places. The escort will quickly pack
them and off they go, what a life! No one wants to marry them. Anyone
who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who
keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your
mind young.- Henry Ford. Hard work does not kill; everything in
Nigeria is going down, including family settings. It is time to cook
our children, preparing them for tomorrow. We are approaching the
season in Nigeria where only the RUGGED, will survive. How will your
ward fare?

If the present generation of Nigerian pilots retires, will you fly ae
plane flown by a young Nigerian pilot, If trained in Nigeria ? People
now have first class, who cannot spell GRADUATE or read an article
without bomb blast! Which way Nigerians?

great write-up. I definitely can relate to this. I am an aerospace engineering graduate currently job hunting. Any tips or advice you give would be highly appreciated

Godson201333:
I can never forget the day I travelled to Ghana .I was on flight with one guy with his mom,after arrival,The mom said"my son please face your studies and be a good boy"she turned back and was about boarding another flight to naija..the dude should be around 28 and I was like what d Bleep?you can't fly alone or what

This is why when you meet guys abroad who are suppose to be matured still acting like a baby.

A lot of them in Europe.

This is another level bros

What is wrong with a mother seeing her son off?

Random checks sef once a year is still OK.