This piece is an excerpt from my personal Research work.

Child abuse is more than bruises and broken bones. While physical abuse might be the most visible, other types of abuse, such as emotional abuse and neglect, also leave deep, lasting scars. Child abuse can be described as any action or inaction that hampers the normal physical, emotional or cognitive development of a child.

However, in our African society, child abuse is prevalent, difficult to identify and prevent. The big reason being that our 'normal' method of instilling discipline is abusive, and our definition and view of child abuse is heavily flawed and skewed in favour of our culture.

Child abuse is not limited to any particular class of families. It cuts across all strata. While it's easy to say that only "bad people" abuse their children, it's not always so black and white. Not all abusers are intentionally harming their children. Many have been victims of abuse themselves, and don’t know any other way to parent. Others may be struggling with a collection issues including substance abuse, illiteracy poverty etc. Again, Child abuse doesn't only happen in poor families or bad neighborhoods. It crosses all racial, economic, and cultural lines. Sometimes, families who seem to have it all from the outside are hiding a different story behind closed doors. Education too does not make a parent less likely to be abusive.

Depending on the form or nature of child abuse and neglect, it results in some harmful effect on the child, which some may carry into adulthood, making them dysfunctional adults. These effects include

Lack of trust and relationship difficulties.
If you can’t trust your parents, who can you trust? Abuse by a primary caregiver damages the most fundamental relationship as a child—that you will safely, reliably get your physical and emotional needs met by the person who is responsible for your care. Without this base, it is very difficult to learn to trust people or know who is trustworthy. This can lead to difficulty maintaining relationships due to fear of being controlled or abused. It can also lead to unhealthy relationships because the adult doesn’t know what a good relationship is.

Core feelings of being “worthless” or “damaged.”
If you’ve been told over and over again as a child that you are stupid or no good, it is very difficult to overcome these core feelings. You may experience them as reality. Adults may not strive for more education, or settle for a job that may not pay enough, because they don’t believe they can do it or are worth more. Sexual abuse survivors, with the stigma and shame surrounding the abuse,
often especially struggle with a feeling of being damaged. If you are constantly reminding your child of how unintelligent he is, chances are he would accept it and give up on himself.

Trouble regulating emotions.
Abused children cannot express emotions
safely. As a result, the emotions get stuffed down, coming out in
unexpected ways. Adult survivors of child abuse can struggle with
unexplained anxiety, depression, or anger. They may turn to alcohol or drugs to numb out the painful feelings.



There are several types of child abuse, but the core element that ties them together is the emotional effect on the child. Children need predictability, structure, clear boundaries, and the knowledge that their parents are looking out for their safety. Abused children cannot predict how their parents will act. Their world is an unpredictable, frightening place with no rules. Whether the abuse is a slap, a harsh comment, stony silence, or not knowing if there will be dinner on the table tonight, the end result is a child that feels unsafe, uncared for, and alone.

There is no intention to push any parent to guilt, but a careful self examination using the following questions would help a parent decide if he or she needs to improve as a parent.

Have ever told your child he/she is senseless, dull, ugly or use any other defamatory words?

Many parents would not see this as abuse, but the more you repeat these lines to your child, the more entrenched it becomes in his subconscious mind. He would grow into an adult that is limited by his own mind.


Have you openly compared your child's performance to that of another child? Even his own siblings?

"Emeka that took first does he have two heads? " 'why cant you be like your mates'?...... Does that sound like you? Granted, it is normal to be disappointed by a child's poor performance, especially when those of his age group seem to do better. But pushing Junior to compete with Emeka will harm Junior ultimately. Both kids are not exposed to the same environment, even if they were their emotional make up differ greatly. If you push one to be like the other, you may push him to the point of becoming discouraged, and losing his confidence. Such child could become withdrawn, or mask their insecurities with anger and violence. If your child's academic performance disappoints you, then take the blame. Find out from the child if he encounters any challenges in school. Is he scared of his teacher? Does he have difficulty understanding certain subjects? Does he need extra lessons from you at home? . No normal child is born a dullard. So find out why your child is failing in school, and tackle it.


Do you frequently yell, threaten or scream at your kids?

Maybe you do not actually make good on those threats, but you may leave a feeling of insecurity and fear. These feelings may become permanent once you repeat them over and over again.
NOTE giving a child stern warning is different from threatening a child.

Do you hug your child or show other signs of approval even when you are not in a good mood? Or do you shun him?

A bad day at the office, or long hours in traffic? Please don't take it out on Junior, he only wanted to show you his homework. Be his mom at that point, not the lady that was stuck in traffic.


Have you beaten your child because you were angry, or thrown objects at him?

Now this is a tricky question. When you pick up a cane to flog Junior, is it because you are angry that he did something, or you desire to correct a particular pattern of behaviour?. If anger and disappointment is your reason for using the rod, then you may likely be abusing your child. A safe thing to do would be to tell the child what he had done wrong, and your desire to correct him using a cane. Make sure you calm your nerves, (give yourself a few minutes if you have to) before you pick up the cane. When you are calm, you may discover that a calm loving advice and gentle appeal to his heart would achieve the discipline too.


do you discipline your child in front of his peers?

This is a bad move, especially for teenagers. You are not disciplining anymore, you are humiliating them. Rebellion would be their next option.


Do you withhold praise or commendation?

"if we start praising him, he would not read his books anymore". That was for Junior who finished 5th in his class. Perhaps you feel he could do better? Well maybe, but praise him today and remind him tomorrow that he could be better. If his confidence is built up today, he would feel up to it tomorrow.


Have you slapped your child in anger before?

Very very common, infact every parent that answered the questionnaire ticked 'yes'. I don't need to tell you that is pure physical abuse. Some parents go as far as pouncing on their children, and landing slap after slap, blow after blow. You are instilling fear and violence, not discipline. And you are surprised when you child gets into a fight in school?.


Do you respect the views of your teenagers when making decisions ?

Most parents think it is demeaning to talk with their children and seek their opinion. While you must make them realise that you are the ultimate decision maker, asking for their opinion would create a sense of belonging, and increase their desire to obey your rules. If you clamp down on them, you would be raising conformists who have no mind of their own. Society will exploit them tomorrow.


Do you children fear you or love you?

Examine the atmosphere in your home. If everyone deserts the sitting room because you are around, then you have a problem. Your kids should obey you because they love and respect you, not because they fear what you might do if they don't. If you bully your kids to submission you may think they are 'disciplined'. But they aren't, just wait until they leave your house, when you no longer have absolute control.


Are you the 'go and read your books' kind of parent?

'Junior get inside'.... So common, but very wrong. There are three domains of education; cognitive, affective and psychomotor. Cognitive has to do with his brain or in this case his academics. Affective is connected with his emotions, feelings, and relationship with others. Psychomotor deals with his hand and craft, putting the power of his mind into use, this is where he learns to be 'street smart' . He would only achieve cognitive education by 'reading his books'. The other two are learned or developed on the playground. So allow him mingle with his peers, run around and graze his knees. All you have to do is keep an eye on him and his peers. Just note that there are skills a child needs to have to enable him fit into society. Many of those skills are not thought in the classroom or written in those books. I personally want my 16 year old to discuss football or politics with me and make intelligent contributions, i want him to beat me in a game of chess.

Cc tgirl4real
Royalroy
lalasticlala
Mznelly
Ishilove

I am actually a bit different
Tolerance, loving and ofcus STRICT
I have a very sweet loving troublesome 2yr old son
Kids are scared of teachers and cane/shout
Not my own
The only person he fears is IYaYA *idaya*
I am proud of that
Mummy coming and he starts running and holding bum
Ofcus he knows what next
Sorry am not abusive, I don't just like spoilt kids

I'm not a parent but good post, will make me learn when I ave my own kids.

A little spanking is not bad.
Infact its good for every Nigerian child. O.p modify your topic its passing another message entirely.

Knowledge of Parents on the Causes and Consequences of Child Abuse and Neglects

The Federal Child Abuse and Prevention Treatment Act (CAPTA) (2003) and the Keeping Children and Families Safe Act KCFSA (2003) defined child abuse and neglect as any recent act or failure to act on the part of the parents or caretaker which presents an imminent risk of serious harm. English, Wisdom and Brandford (2004) summarized child abuse and neglect as causing or permitting harmful or offensive contacts on the child’s body and.....

http://www.scharticles.com/knowledge-of-parents-on-the-causes-and-consequences-of-child-abuse-and-neglects/