@ Poster maybe he has joined secret cult and in the night he will disappear without anyone knowing it and comes back in the morning and pretend to be a normal person. Watch him closely and go inside the living room without his consent, shake him to see his reaction.

mama-gee:

@poster

Are you sure you don't snore at night?

same way kanu snores right?

,amebo no1:

same way kanu snores right?

This is the worst attempt to pull my legs seriously you need to come up with something better

mama-gee:

This is the worst attempt to pull my legs seriously you need to come up with something better

pull your legs whatever happened to them young boys dat had their fingers right into ur wide hole

,amebo no1:

pull your legs whatever happened to them young boys dat had their fingers right into ur wide hole

Wait a minute!, You mean your mom actually Zap.s. young boys? , I always knew your mom was a big slut

it may jst b me,but ain't u guys digressing frm wat dis thread is supposed to b abt.IMO,dat man is getting some outside.if she wasn't gettin any at all or getting pregnant,den i'd say he had sexual issues. but if he can do it twice a year,he can do every day with som girl somwer. she's left it for too long,if i were d one,i'd get to d root of it even if it means getting somone to tail him
come oooon,even if she snores;dt enuf reason to get IT only twice a year? if she was sure wat it was dats causing it,i'm certan she wont b here asking for help. these days women in relationships,b it dating or marriage r made to feel like evrythin wrong is their fault.i'm not going to stay in a marriage with a husband dat doesnt giv me happiness YET won't even talk about wat d issues r. i'll talk to his mum,his best pals, if i hav visiyors n he's getting ready to sleepy with them in d sittin room(haba!) i'll jokingly say it out loud dat dey should help me ask my husband y he's running away frm our bed.
PUSH him to d wall,he'll crack and let u kno wats going on.after havin 4 kids,she should treat u better dan dis.men have mistresses evry day n dont move out of der bedrooms.if wat he's running away frm is so bad,he wont haV maried u in d first place except somthing changed dramatically jst b4 he strted leaving ur bed.
IS UR MARRIAGE ON CORDIAL TERMS ODA THAN THIS? cos som ppl tend to like been by demselves wen dey sleep.for me,no matter who i'm in bed with,i sleep with my back to d person and as far away as i can even if we fall asleep all cuddled up,i tend to move away at night(or wenever).
depends on d kind of person he is,i wuld also try either leavin this forum open for him to c or do somthing seriously manipulative, somone said if u're not workin or able to b independent of him shuld b worse happen,beta start been.if d marriage ends up oik,its still all good.u could even tell him dat u're going bk to work cos u sadly feel he's going to leave u and u dont want to b unable to care for HIS kids.see how he reacts to that.watever u think would get him to know how bad u feel,try TRY IT. GOODLUCK DEAR

What have you done to him to make him sleep in the living room.

If this story is true i feel for you how do u cope sex once or twice in a year . My advice to you is for you to take it to GOD in PRAYER. Secondly werever he chooses to sleep, sleep there also with him. Thirdly make sure you have a job dress well not seductively but beautiful, make your hair, keep your home clean and tidy, get sexy nyte wears and underwears, nice bum shorts to wear in the house ( i hope his clothes are not in the living room he stills dresses up in the bedroom). Its obvious he is happy in the arms of another woman. Plz make sure you don't nag or insult him just be subtle about it as someone has mentioned earlier, talk to him about it and God will see you through.

Then, change the room into the living room and the living room into the room, and you sleep there together . ,

It's not you darling, some men like to sleep in the living room.

coolier:

It's not you darling, some men like to sleep in the living room.

Why would a man wanna sleep in the living room, when a nice hot woman is in the bedroom?
That man dont miss road oh.
Except a woman that wear jean to bed

hun.i know how you feel.please and please ma.i wi advice you as other posters early said that you should move in with him in the room.i beleive this have been done.looking at the day you post this topic.i wish we could get the reply of how things are working now.

1. Get family planning re-assure him making love wont bring another baby , bill bills bills. Men could be scare of another one coming. I swear I always ask are we safe before doing the magic.
2. Spend more time together in that living room. Even sleep there nights. Pretend to wanna watch late night movies and sleep off with him
3. 4 kids is hell of trouble , i have two in the house as a man i like them a lot we play all day but dont like it when the last one tries to share the bed. You know when baby cries in the middle of the night and finds he's way to our room blah he doesn't even care if its 3am . Then bed wets!!! He's my pal during the day but damn night I'm nobody's pal when i need sleep. Even my phones are off not to talk of my boy crying.

I TINK YOU ARE THE NAGGING TYPE OR YOU DONT SHOW INTEREST IN LOVE MAKING.
TAKE THE INITIATIVE DURING LOVE MAKING WHEN NEXT HE SLEEPS WITH YOU.
TAKE YOUR BATH REGULARLY & APPLY MILD PERFUME ON THE BED, DONT FORGET YOUR BODY.
ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOU HAVE A HAND IN ANY BAD CHARACTER YOUR HUBBY EXHIBITS!
GOODLUCK!!

if u r really sure u didnt u hurt him, then i think u shud find out wat makes prefer d siting room to d bedroom

Join him in the sitting room!

Absolutely, join him in the sitting room and lets see where he would run to.This way, he may be forced to say what the problem is or you can now have an edge confronting him if he decided ro relocate again. Don't relent on prayers too,it's the only and sure way to go. All the best

People, its not a question of joining him in the sitting room. Its not a easy as that. I sleep in the sitting room MOST times. It all started when I started watching TV late into the night. You'd think a solution would be to watch the TV in our living room together but the same woman will complain that the TV disturbs her. So? what to do? I bet you the woman will only complicate matters when she joins him in the sitting room because he might wan to listen to the news and he wants nollywood and another chapter is introduced into the feud. In my own case I shuttle between the living room and the sitting room and thus far my wife is no longer complaining. Come to think of it we sleep at different times and I know no one wants to disturb the other. Its all about understanding. Its only FULL TIME housewives that bother about where their husband sleeps in the house. A career woman who has had a hectic and challenging day will be too tired at night to know where her husband is sleeping as long as she knows they are under the same roof.

Men are funny. If their wives suddenly took to sleeping in the living room a family meeting will be called. Here all kinds of excuses are tendered for why they do it.

I basically have the same problem; however, my husband prefers to 'live' in his 'room/office', and even says 'sleeping on his sofa is more comfortable than sleeping in a bed.' I find this hard to believe, since we've been married for over 14 years, and this behavior is only about 3-4 years old?? I am feeling like a single or widowed woman, raising 3 children, all by myself. Whenever I ask him to participate in any normal family activity, he immediately gets defensive, says he has "worked hard", and that's always his excuse for leaving me completely alone. He will occasionally eat dinner with us, and if he finds us eating w/o him, will ask, "why wasn't I 'invited'"?? I have asked him if he truly wants another 'address' that he needs to leave this house altogether, and find somewhere else to live. To the outside world, he puts on a front as if he is a normal part of the family---but I feel like I have a big teenager living upstairs in his own 'room'--while I'd even like to have the company of another adult--even for conversation.

I really have no idea what to do-- my children love their father--but I am VERY lonely, and feel like I am the mother of 4 children--instead of the 3 I actually have. My husband is 11 years older than I am. I try very hard to keep in shape, always take care of myself, and feel like any other man would be proud to be with me. My real worry is that the whole situation is very much setting a horrible example of what a family structure should be--and especially how a man and father should connect with his wife and children.

...

No, my husband is a successful physician. NO ONE who knows him in his everyday 'real life' would ever imagine this is the way he lives his life 'after hours.' He has no real physical health issues. He has never been able to 'adderess' problems--but this is ridiculous. My children & myself have just come to live with that he is not really physically or emotionally available to us--and to ASK for a heart-to-heart throws him into a rage. He will to some degree participate in watching the kids' sports--but that's about it. In fact---I hear that excuse from him that he IS involved in the children's lives.

I guess I'm just reaching out to anyone to even remotely has this sort of situation to get answers. I've tried very hard everything I know to do, to no avail.

...

Thanks, I do understand the stresses of the medical world. I, too, am an RN--who actually single-handedly runs our medical office. I would LOVE to be the technician who gets to walk out the door, and leave all the details to someone else---that being ME. Unfortunately, this really is a deep-rooted emotional problem, and even though it's his business to HELP and offer HELP to other people every day (is an ortho doc who primarily treats pain), he is completely unable and unwilling to seek any real help for himself. Numbing himself to his problems is his way of coping. With the way he has completely isolated himself with the family and myself, I have to wonder if I am being completely niave and he just lacks any care because he is involved with someone else. Even begging and asking him to LEAVE doesn't work?? It would be less frustrating to live as a single mother, because the knowing that there is actually another adult in the house, holed up in some 'room', watching multiple TV's, w/ headphones on, and anytime he's not @ work, is living on sleeping pills--is VERY, VERY frustrating. I'd rather be completely alone.

...

But CC I don't think working in the medical sector has anything to do with especially if he's practiced medicine for a long time.

I work in the health field as well and these are things we all see everyday. At the initial stage it was a bit tough you know seeing dead bodies in the morgues, young patients dying of cancer,having to tell a family they've lost their loved ones, drunk driving accident cases, I remember crying once when I saw the husband of a woman who was supposed to have an emergency C section crying, witnessing a D&C in the theatre or like actually having to inject or cannulate people especially kids. Infact if you can work in the "emergency department" then you can survive anywhere(atleast thats what i think, I stand to be corrected though) But as one proceeds further you don't really get "used" to it like people will want you to but you can overcome the extreme stress that comes with it. So if this guy has practiced for a long time in general medicine or some sort of speciality then there really shouldn't be any case @ work that should affect his home and family.

I feel the candle in that home needs to be rekindled, It has lost it's flame. I don't know what and how she did get her man in the beginning but she has to try out those tactics. Every woman loves attention and when we don't get it ,its like traumatizing and depressing.

Communication is the key word here but he sin't co-operating. There is someting her hubby isn't sharing with her., he isnt sharing the reason for this sudden gap/bridge inbtw them, he isnt telling her why he does not look forward to coming home everyday and having a wonderful time with his family, IF only he could let it all out. . . . . . .

...

Very true CC very very true. Some parents force their kids into some sort of profession they are not really into.

That is why I said if he has practiced medicine for some time now then it might not be work hitting him hard. She said her hubbys behaviour started about 3-4years ago. If that man has been a physician before then and was doing a good job in fatherhood and being a husband at the same time then I think its something else bothering him.But if he just became a Doctor the same time this issue started then I will definitely blame it on work.

I believe it has to do with the chemistry,he might have fallen out of love for his family, it could be someone putting pressure on him, it could be that he finds his wife unattractive anymore,maybe he feels he's lost his place in the household as the head, that man is living in some sort of guilt even though he isnt showing it. There is sthg definitely wrong and me thinks they can resolve this issue IF ONLY her hubby will open up and tell her what exactly the problem is.

That man definitely needs help

Could he be feeling swamped as you both work together too?

Could this be midlife crisis?

Could he be overworked hence feel the need to take on more staff?

Could it have something to do with his childhood?

Rather than you and your children resign to fate and just live with the pain that he is not really physically or emotionally available to you, at least the fact that he still notices sometimes that you eat without inviting him shows all is not lost. So why not ask your children to make it a habit of inviting him to the table daily, as well as personally invite him to hang out with them, and watch if his demeanour changes. (i suppose your children are in their teens?). Surely, he will be more considerate when he responds to their queries.

Also try not to take his words at face value, and try have a nose round to see if the books are balanced. Wish you all the best.

Maybe u dnt kip d room clean, but just try joining him in d living room

@Jodi -

Well, here is what to do. Quite clearly the relationship between yourself and your husband has broken down, as evidenced by some of your comments. This is certainly no work related matter, nor is the sofa more "comfortable". You need to retrace back to find out what went wrong and the exact time it happened. Defensive behaviour, unwillingness to participate in family life, sleeping away from the wife, are all symptoms men display when there is a deep underlying issue in the relationship that has not been addressed. Though i understand your frustration, being snide, and asking him to leave and find another home is not going to help this situation.

My advice to you is to throw off all pride, airs and graces; Go on your knees, wearing your heart on your sleeve, beg him earnestly to tell what the problem is. Is is something you have done? If it is, be contrite and beg for his forgiveness. Is it something that he has done? Let him know you will forgive him. Tell him it is better he physically kills you, than allow you to live in this situation. 

Tell him with tears in your eyes how much you miss him, how much you need him, how much his children need him, and how much his family need him. Let him know you love him deeply, and you need his help to make the marriage work well. Do this, it may take some time, but i assure you that he will slowly start to come around - whatever the issue is. Be genuinely vulnerable and appeal to his manly instincts; Men cannot but help surrender to a vulnerable woman - much less a wife and mother of their children.

And oh, don't forget to pray about it - constantly, even if you are not a Christian. All the best.