Your husband is the most selfish person alive,He only loves you for your physical attributes.God forbids,that you surfer a domestic accident that leaves you decapacitated what do you think your husband will do.

He will throw you out of your so called martrimonial home.my advice to you is to build your future.

A word is enough for the wise,remembeer you cant change anyone,you can only change yourself.

err diddnt u know the kind of figure ure husband liekd before u married him? some men are very adamant abt these things and if its gotten to this stage u must have known how strongly he felt abt this. eniway can u guys meet somewer in the middle? say a size 12? as hard and unfair as it may seem thats wat marriage is all about. sacrifices.

ps: well done! pls how did u loose all that weight eni tips?

But Why no let him know first that you want to lose weigt,
Since he is your husband.

Some like it hot, some like it cold,
some like it both, depending on choice!

I would love my husband to change and be the person he was when I married him but I can't change him. It's up to him to change.

madam! u would like ure husband to cahnge abi?

he couldnt have just drastically changed during ure four yr marriage! these sdort of feelings and preferenceas dont just come out of nowhenre except people are introduced to them which would have meant he was cheating and even if that was the case he wouldnt feel so strongly abt all of it.

your huband has alwyas been like this. the only reason u never knew is either u dint take enough time to study him b4u married him, or hes very good at hiding hes feelings. and if that was the case im sure there would have been signs he was interested in these thigns but u chose to ignorer tham or werent wise enough to look into it. whichever way ure husband cannot just change. u would need divine intervention 4 dat.

these are the reasons people should take time to get to know people properly b4 marriage. its not just all abt the wedding!

well, if he wants it that way, go ahead and get fat for him

Give to your husband the size he cherished before his advancement toward you or else you will lose him in a swift

Look at the mindset of someone that was made a moderator of the family section Shocked Shocked Shocked
Ms tgirl4real, are you for real?
You're asking a woman who has decreased her chances of having any and every ailment known to man to gain back pounds so as to keep a hiusband whose brain cells are in his testicles.
You and that husband belong in he same bed IMHO.

Osisi, this is so uncalled for. I thought u had more sense than this

_{and to imagine that u are one of the few I respect on here}

Tgirl4real:

Osisi, this is so uncalled for. I thought u had more sense than this

_{and to imagine that u are one of the few I respect on here}

You're asking a woman who has decreased her chances of having any and every ailment known to man to gain back pounds so as to keep a hiusband whose brain cells are in his testicles

osisi is kind.a right here,even me sef was surprised when i read ur reply

Madam danke,

If she has a different view from mine, she would have just voiced it without going on the mod thing. That was uncalled for.

If she had read my post well, she will know my standpoint. The lady says she doesn't want to leave her hubby. So, what advice to give her than that she should please him. It is very clear from my post that I don't agree with the guy cheating simply cos of the wife's figure.

osisi simply went overboard.

Let me add this,

Not all size 14 ladies are unhealthy. Because u are a size 10 doesn't make you healthy and certainly doesn't guaranty long life hubby or not. . I'm a size 12 and I gym and eat healthy. Look better as a 12 than 8 or 10. So, I'm loving it

Have u wondered why she slimmed down in the first place? Certainly not for health reasons. i think poster is enjoying attention she gets outside.

ok what is the problem here?

you changed your size and you expect the man to accept that
the man also changed his ways but you dont want him to change.

if you can change, the man can also change

oko e o le fe igi itayin (your husband can't marry toothpick) so you better move on or start praying he changes his mind

Tgirl4real:

Madam danke,

If she has a different view from mine, she would have just voiced it without going on the mod thing. That was uncalled for.

If she had read my post well, she will know my standpoint. The lady says she doesn't want to leave her hubby. So, what advice to give her than that she should please him. It is very clear from my post that I don't agree with the guy cheating simply cos of the wife's figure.

osisi simply went overboard.

IMHO, It was the way you delivered the message, that made it come across as "iffy." I kinda said the same thing as you too, but sugarcoated it in honey

No vex Tbaby, Osisi did not mean it like that, you guys were just having a discussion, and as for you being a referred to as a moderator, well that's your job description innit

You are still going to get a lot of flak for being a Moderator, it comes with the job, so you have to grow a thick skin To tell the truth sef, you people [size=5pt]^{not you oh, before you come and bite my head off}[/size] are biased sometimes . . . But I will not talk for now, I am already a busybody, but would not like to be called an amebo no 1 or a snitch too

If you reply me ehn, I would report you to the family section moderator for derailing the thread

Your figure is for your hubby's delight only

Busy_body:


IMHO, It was the way you delivered the message, that made it come across as "iffy." I kinda said the same thing as you too, but sugarcoated it in honey

No vex Tbaby, Osisi did not mean it like that, you guys were just having a discussion, and as for you being a referred to as a moderator, well that's your job description innit

You are still going to get a lot of flak for being a Moderator, it comes with the job, so you have to grow a thick skin To tell the truth sef, you people [size=5pt]^{not you oh, before you come and bite my head off}[/size] are biased sometimes . . . But I will not talk for now, I am already a busybody, but would not like to be called an amebo no 1 or a snitch too
If you reply me ehn, I would report you to the family section moderator for derailing the thread

lol

U aint serious one bit. Moderator no be my job u hia.

Well you dont expect your husband to accept your overnight changes just like that . You should have consulted him before you do that. I beleive you should tell him your reasons for your actions and also pray about it .

i beg sara .j tell me how u take lose all that weight , . if ur husband is complaing me am not at all after three kids , i need to get back to shape .

listen guys, this lady came into this forum for direction and opinion, why do you give comments just to upsert , my advise , your hubby is insecure, if he's your husband he should see beyond physical, though they say beauty is in the eys of the beholder but I say beauty is in the inner mind/person not on your size, bottom line - he does not love you period.

Which kind of Man are you married to? 98% of men like their woman slim!

_{* just wondering out aloud*}

since it takes 2 to tango, and he's justification 4 pressuring u to add weight is 2 sleep wit another fat woman, mayb he needs to c u too with somebody dats is deputising 4 him among ur admirers to make him realize our vain and lame his xcuse 4 cheating is.

u just took 2 much bullshit girl he is pressing home his advantage. just dont stand 4 it.

*_{Na think i just dey think o, i no tulk anything*}

Na true you talk, Na think you dey think, me sef i know see anything!

ur husband doesn't love u, dat is just it
it is obvious he married u because of ur size

but since u said u don't want a divorce
then u will av to pray hard for God's intervention

then u av an heart to heart talk with him.
who knows,,  he might change and love u for whom u'r and 4get about his own selfish act

but get this right, never ever  do anything dat wil make u unhappy
if u feel happy and more healthier with ur present size, pls keep-on to it.
cos there is no point in u making urself miserably just because u want to pls someone.

i pray God wil see u through.

OfficeGirl:

Na true you talk, Na think you dey think, me sef i know see anything!

thank u officegirl for officially acknowledging dat i no send anybodi msg oo

i guess d poster came for advice.why are some sisters fuming?men r the most rational being.all you need do is let him understand the advantage of weight lost outweigh gaining.never try to deflate his ego-hope you've not bad mouth d man.just pet him,with time he will come to accept your new size

Thats just a flimsy excuse.But you know what, try put on the weight so that you give him no chance for excuse.

Dont fight or argue with him.Pick up a little more patience.

i agree with waterworks.u have to been alittle to ur husband need.

What i want to know is how did you do it.Great work girl

hmmm nawao 1 man's meat is anoda man's poison

I think both of you should come to a middle position. I think a size 12 will do.

Sit your husband down and talk to him. Explain things to him and why you need to slim down a little and that you will be willing to please him by adding a few flesh. Also let him know how you feel that he cheated on you on that account and how will he feel if you're the person that cheated on him.

A lot of family disputes like this are solved when there's enough communication. Try to communicate more with him. Know what interests him and see if there's a way that you better refine those interests. My dear, ending the marriage to me, is not an option. Every marriage has its own challenges.
Don't give up.

@sara-j

Your husband is insecure because you are now in the "lime light" where he believes he belongs in your relationship.
Your health/well being should come first over any man. Your husband just has to get used to your new you.

If your losing weight made him cheat on you, then what kind of husband was he in the first place ?

Exactly.