My qualities: your best choice of a boyfriend!

In the past months, I've gone through some serious hustles in search of a befitting girlfriend and I have been let down brutally at all ends, seeing as none of them wants me. In lieu of this, I have decided, according to my recent personal development resolutions, to change my ways and imbibe qualities, good and desirable qualities suited for proper 'boyfriendship'. In all ramifications I have tried, to make sure every lady likes me at first sight, and immediately opt to be my one and only sweetheart. To save you the trouble of discovering my special qualities yourself, I have decided to have a few of them compiled in this special press release, to tell you and the world at large, how lucky you would be, dating a guy like me.

1. I rear goats, and not just ordinary goats, the very stubborn, I mean obstinate, long-goatee ones and none is dead (at least not yet). If you've witnessed a demonstration from a goat, you ll quickly realize how much of a gentle and agile man I am. If I can successfully rear 5 goats, feeding and chasing them, and all of them are still alive, then keeping and taking care of you as my girlfriend won't be a problem, as long as you understand there's always a stick in the corner to keep you in check. Have you tried a romantic love race before? Relax, I've practiced enough with my goats, and since I know how dependent girlfriends can be, my skills in animal husbandry would come in really handy.

2. I wear leather slippers, not timberland, timberlake, or timberriver shoes. Over my year of constant rejection, I discovered the importance of shoes in the life of a relationship. For a guy wearing too much of those shoes, the health of the relationship is always at risk because of their heaviness and bulkiness, which could cause cramps and misfits. Imagine, if we were taking a walk, the sound of those shoes could be detrimental to the love flow between us, cutting and blocking love currents and could cause unnecessary fight, especially if I couldn't hear your silent whisper of 'I love you'. To solve that, I've opted for leather slippers which will make absolutely no sound and allows me to walk freely with you on the sweet streets of love.

3. I don't keep sideburns. I know you must have checked my display picture now, (after seeing my prowess and commitment to personal development) and seen that I am clean-shaven. Now, I don't know what it is with sideburns, teddy or whatever slang you have for it, but it is not just a coincidence that the love actors of Hollywood, Bollywood, and even Nollywood all keep sideburns. To save you from the unnecessary jealousy and fights that come with sideburn guys, I have decided to be remain clean-shaven. Think of how romantic it would be to touch my cheeks and know no hair will disturb your hand's escapade.

4. I listen to love songs. If you haven't heard, a recent survey showed guys who listen to love songs are more romantic and have better love lives (even if I don't know where I saw it). I became a big fan of those romantic guys, from westlife, to other love artistes, quietly closing my eyes and drifting off into love wonderland as I listen on. Consider how sweet it would be, calling you and singing beautifully with my husky voice, 'I lay my love on you', and witness how magically it would greatly increase our amorous feelings for each other.

5. I'm still a guy. If you have seen the rate at which guys cross over the bridge, you will appreciate how much of a man I am to remain a man. Now unless you have natural aberrations, or you wanna risk a 10-14 year jail term, you will consider dating me, a man. How good would it be to rest on my well-toned muscular arms, stare longingly at my six packs and call me, 'my man'.

6. I shy away from a celebrity lifestyle. Yes, I know I'm a celeb (especially after conquering attacking soldiers who dared attack me in the form of ants), but I've decided to keep it low because of the nefarious fate awaiting a celebrity daring to venture into a relationship. Since I am prepared to adore you, I'm not willing to entertain chances of assault and breakup simply because I didn't keep my unprecedented conquest and fame in the dark.

I could go on and on, but I'd be much of a talkative and it could piss you off -- my potential girlfriend. Be smart! Be wise. Go for the best choice! Me!

#Altarboy

I dey com... make I read am 1st

modified:
chai!!!!
dis has to be a very dull joke...
cos u just wasted 5 minutes of my life 4 dis crap

"How to know why your shi t is nolonger reddish" thread loading
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2m topics indeed

Yungwizzzy:
"How to know why your shi t is nolonger reddish" thread loading
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2m topics indeed

Hian! It is a satire please. Lol

Omo make Una help me day look if Una see oni kerezin make Una let me no abeg

Ewa oo.... shey ara wa da?

jascon1:
Omo make Una help me day look if Una see oni kerezin make Una let me no abeg

Wet in u wan use am do?

penplayer:


Wet in u wan use am do?

I want cook banga soup

MANY ARE MAD BUT FEW ARE ROAMING

FLAWLES:
MANY ARE MAD BUT FEW ARE ROAMING

And to whom might that be? Flawles

penplayer:


And to whom might that be? Flawles

.oga i dinnor mention anybody

FLAWLES:
.oga i dinnor mention anybody

Alright then. Enjoy your night.

Nyc

Chicken! Lol. People dey nairaland o