Emm!. i think a month back or so, on a hot Saturday evening, i sat down with friends amidst my very many online chatting and stuff. All of a sudden i got a text from my little sister, informing me she just had sex with a boy, for the first time. My world shared beyond measures, i tried calling her, she obviously switched off her phone, the very next day, i boarded a ride home.
Long story you short i did the whole safe sex, sex education thingy, frankly it was gross and disgusting. I kinda, sort off educated myself first in the whole teenage sex education,and how to advise. I took her out privately and reminded her she had a responsibility to herself, the whole nine yards.
For weeks now have been calm, mature like so as not to scare her, stalking who she's hanging out with, who she has a crush on and the rest, me and her talk like friends a lot. So i left home feeling the sex situation was handled, only to have returned today, found her giggling amidst texting, i acted non-chalant till she dropped her phone, i picked it up and went through her messages.
What i saw gave me the 'whatdafuck' Bleep face.
Amidst telling one contact she loves him, setting up a date with another, thanking the other one for the credit sent and etc.

What pinned me most, was the first text proclaiming love, "do girls do that?".
Right now she turned the house upside down looking for her phone, which is currently in my possession. just been informed by my other bros, that she hardly reads for her exams waec and the rest, they've not seen her reading of recent, am concerned as hell.
She smart, intelligent and highly competitive especially with the opposite counterparts in school, she use to be sort of robot like, school, indoors, read read read, back then i feared for her social life and skills. But right now its complicated, she's not the same and i don't know what to do from here.

IF YOU WERE IN MY SHOES WHAT WOULD YOU DO?, the 21st century big brother thingy not working for me.

flog love out of her head
see small pikin fa

Them nah dey sell cain or koboko 4 una area Chai .. Better do d needful sharply

Just bring her to me i know how to handle her very well

Just bring her to me i know how to handle her very well, u will thank me later

Even if you like carry her go put inside a Tank of TB Joshua's anointing oil and holy water, Nothing is gonna change until she advises herself and that will be later, much later when she's had her second and third heart-break from guys.

Women automatically become very arrogant, stubborn and impossible to handle when they taste their first d1ck.

Fear the power of that boneless thing.

The best you can do now is to make her your best friend, Miracles happen y'know.

What I don't understand is why she sent you that message. Did you call her a small girl?

.lol if u try stopping her then dat will b nice bt d day u won't b around! She go collect d ones she missed while u were around and she go evn collect extra 2weeks advances! Just let her do her! Omo lope lomo yen

cozy7:
I don't hv sisters that age, but in d nature of my job, I handle juveniles that age. I assure u that u can't u can't correct her by seizing her phone, especially wen she doesn't no ur with it, (those guys who buy her cards will replace d phone). I suggest u t.v. it bck, gain her trust again, gradually get her talking, then u educate her, make sure she really understands all abt STDs, HIV/AIDS, teenage pregnancies n so on....make sure u digress deeply into those, making her see herself in such situations...u can ask her hw she'll handle such times. Then demand to meet d guy in question, I'm sure u no what to tell him.
With all these properly done, she'll improve, but not 100%, LER HER BE. Your worst mistake will be to cage her.

men did all that in the past month, actually played the whole condom is not a 100% guaranteed protection from stds, the idea wad too prey on her fears abit. But right now with the current turn out, that 21st century moves is no longer valid for me.

This is a big challenge for you. U did not mention anything about your parents or her age. R u her guardian?

If she stays with your folks, I suggest you inform your mother. I know she can handle it better. If however your folks are not with you, then il suggest any of the following, taking into consideration the fact that u are her big brother and thankfully, this is Africa were BS is not tolerated:

- Try to be her friend...so much that she will hurt when she knows she has disappointed u. If she is indeed close to u, she may sober up.
- Be as blunt as possible with her when advising her on the ills of multiple-dating. Remember to spice it up with the possible "ritualistic" nature of some men as well as STDs and HIV.
- If U are her sole guardian and u still find it a herculean task to set her str8, just think of a strict uncle/aunt u know who can set her str8. She culd stay with them for some time.
- Dunno ur religious affiliation but u culd try help her spiritual growth by advising her to join a group in church ..mayb choir/cell/anyone she connects with.

U can also seek advice from an aunt on the best way to handle a teen whoz experiencing life to d fullest. If u dont want to expose ur sis, then u can change the identity of ur source of concern. Im glad she is a smart girl. With time hopefully, she'll change.

It might take a while so u need to be patient with her. She shuld have a curfew too.

Good luck!

Hmm do something fast before she destroys her life. Teenagers are highly irresponsible when it comes to sex. She Weill surely get pregnant or catch a disease soon.

Please tell her mother sharply. This softly softly approach is not working. Let her know if she gets pregnant you will have nothing more to do with her because you have warned her.

I quite sympathise with you on this but you have to take it upon yourself to save her from this inferno she's about getting herself into.

Firstly, remind her she's in a stage of her life were her sexual urge is high and expected to be pro-active in sex related stuffs. But of course be quick to remind her the looming dangers attached to pre-marital sex. Tell her gory tales of teenagers like her who ended up spoiling their bright future on the alter of pre-marital sex and having multiple sex partners.
Take your time to analyse one after the other; Sexually transmitted diseases (STD's) focusing on the Mother of them all which is HIV, unwanted pregnancies, the ugly thought of becoming a school drop out and then sticking to menial jobs to eke a living for the rest of her enemy life (not hers) and the rest.

You can remind her of where she'll be in a couple of years to come and probably paint a scenario of what the future will look like if she makes the right/wrong decision.

Finally, make out time to go on a walk with her. Take her to places like Mushin, Slumps in Ajegunle and then to places like VI which is dominated by the educated elite.

Then probably at night, take her to front of a brothel where she'll get to see girls whom have since lost touch with there destinies.

Then you let her make her choice.

The bottom line is, expose her to the dangers ahead of her and I am sure she'll make a wise decision.

Above all, put her fervently in prayers.

Fresh bitterleaf stick no dey una area?

Why the thing dey pepper you for body? You no dey yash another person sister?

abi you never f * teenager before. Lie and quench.


Another fellow pedo dey do the same thing wey you dey do for another person sister so I will advise you to face your front as she don jasi. If you no wan get high bp before your time you better leave her to her decision abi for how long you wan dey stalk her. You're not even happy she trusted you enough to tell you. What if she didn't tell you nko?



Instead of wasting your time stalking her you better take her for hiv test and other std test.

If na your pikin nko? You Go leave your office dey stalk am about. Na hypertension go kill you

Story story. Alo Alo.


Like the lover boyfriend no go koshe silori sotey she go forget v.i and ajegunle. Op talk to her once and leave her to her destiny


where are these girls when you need them sef




Chillisauce

EfemenaXY

KanwuliaJara


coco candy


great god

Ewuro4

Oya o come and put mouth



ewa dasi o

oya

SimpleJetty:
I quite sympathise with you on this but you have to take it upon yourself to save her from this inferno she's about getting herself into.

Firstly, remind her she's in a stage of her life were her sexual urge is high and expected to be pro-active in sex related stuffs. But of course be quick to remind her the looming dangers attached to pre-marital sex. Tell her gory tales of teenagers like her who ended up spoiling their bright future on the alter of pre-marital sex and having multiple sex partners.
Take your time to analyse one after the other; Sexually transmitted diseases (STD's) focusing on the Mother of them all which is HIV, unwanted pregnancies, the ugly thought of becoming a school drop out and then sticking to menial jobs to eke a living for the rest of her enemy life (not hers) and the rest.

You can remind her of where she'll be in a couple of years to come and probably paint a scenario of what the future will look like if she makes the right/wrong decision.

Finally, make out time to go on a walk with her. Take her to places like Mushin, Slumps in Ajegunle and then to places like VI which is dominated by the educated elite.

Then probably at night, take her to front of a brothel where she'll get to see girls whom have since lost touch with there destinies.

Then you let her make her choice.

The bottom line is, expose her to the dangers ahead of her and I am sure she'll make a wise decision.

Above all, put her fervently in prayers.

Creamish:
This is a big challenge for you. U did not mention anything about your parents or her age. R u her guardian?

If she stays with your folks, I suggest you inform your mother. I know she can handle it better. If however your folks are not with you, then il suggest any of the following, taking into consideration the fact that u are her big brother and thankfully, this is Africa were BS is not tolerated:

- Try to be her friend...so much that she will hurt when she knows she has disappointed u. If she is indeed close to u, she may sober up.
- Be as blunt as possible with her when advising her on the ills of multiple-dating. Remember to spice it up with the possible "ritualistic" nature of some men as well as STDs and HIV.
- If U are her sole guardian and u still find it a herculean task to set her str8, just think of a strict uncle/aunt u know who can set her str8. She culd stay with them for some time.
- Dunno ur religious affiliation but u culd try help her spiritual growth by advising her to join a group in church ..mayb choir/cell/anyone she connects with.

U can also seek advice from an aunt on the best way to handle a teen whoz experiencing life to d fullest. If u dont want to expose ur sis, then u can change the identity of ur source of concern. Im glad she is a smart girl. With time hopefully, she'll change.

It might take a while so u need to be patient with her. She shuld have a curfew too.

Good luck!

not her sole guardian, living with parent, our mom passed years back of recent she and my step mom don't see eye to eye, they use to have this peace treaty in the past, i pretend to like you, you pretend to care kinda life but right now on the slightest provocation they on each others next. Thinking of forwarding her to my aunt, problem is i dont want to ruin that trust we have, that connection. But seriously am a guy this so not my forte, expect for the impending flogging part, strong discipline. Thing is it will all prob her to be deceitful the more and more careful with her lifestyle and whatever, i know that first hand from experience.
I need a way too maintain the relationship and still keep her ironed out.
She's 16.

Agrika:
Fresh bitterleaf stick no dey una area?

this would only ruin my relationship with her and prob her to be secretive, which is dangerous, have told her i expect her to have male friends all of that crap, but to firmly and respectfully draw the line as she clearly underaged and stuff, the "i love you" part of her text just threw me off balance, i guess, am finding it difficult trusting that she would make the right decision, am still if it allowed for a woman/girl to say i love you. #still wondering #.

SAMBARRY:
Why the thing dey pepper you for body? You no dey yash another person sister?

abi you never f * teenager before. Lie and quench.


Another fellow pedo dey do the same thing wey you dey do for another person sister so I will advise you to face your front as she don jasi. If you no wan get high bp before your time you better leave her to her decision abi for how long you wan dey stalk her. You're not even happy she trusted you enough to tell you. What if she didn't tell you nko?



Instead of wasting your time stalking her you better take her for hiv test and other std test.

If na your pikin nko? You Go leave your office dey stalk am about. Na hypertension go kill you

xactly because i have solid info on what could go wrong and how the game is played at that age, that why i feel the need to checkmate her before for something goes wrong.
I value the fact that she told me anyway but but dey inside.

chalantmike:
xactly because i have solid info on what could go wrong and how the game is played at that age, that why i feel the need to checkmate her before for something goes wrong.
I value the fact that she told me anyway but but dey inside.

I like you for your confession so you know HOW THE GAME IS PLAYED

why are you now worried about what you do outside coming back intooyour own house
if the brothers of those you played those games on were not worried why then should you be worried. So instead of worrying about what you have little or no control over why can't you channel that same fear by buying condoms for her because at her age you have no control over who she opens her thighs to
so like i said earlier face your front

SAMBARRY:
Story story. Alo Alo.


Like the lover boyfriend no go koshe silori sotey she go forget v.i and ajegunle. Op talk to her once and leave her to her destiny


where are these girls when you need them sef




Chillisauce

EfemenaXY

KanwuliaJara


coco candy


great god

Ewuro4

Oya o come and put mouth



ewa dasi o

oya

Abeg, tell the OP to go and manage his own life o.
Teenage girls like his 'sis' are grand-parants in this day and age.
Diarris andu are womb and toto transplans these days. . . .BLOKOSU transplant dey kpa-kpa!
Shiorrrrr!!!!

flog that nigga well...I can supply you some really thin canes that you don't put much effort on...ya know those bouncy bouncy spring-ish types...when you whip one three will follow...

Fear dey catch me 4 sm kind comments wey I dey read here, coming frm ladies 4 dat mata. I wonder wat their female children wil turn out 2 b in d future. May God deliver dis generation

KanwuliaJara:


Abeg, tell the OP to go and manage his own life o.
Teenage girls like his 'sis' are grand-parants in this day and age.
Diarris andu are womb and toto transplans these days. . . .BLOKOSU transplant dey kpa-kpa!
Shiorrrrr!!!!

Lmao

chalantmike:
not her sole guardian, living with parent, our mom passed years back of recent she and my step mom don't see eye to eye, they use to have this peace treaty in the past, i pretend to like you, you pretend to care kinda life but right now on the slightest provocation they on each others next. Thinking of forwarding her to my aunt, problem is i dont want to ruin that trust we have, that connection. But seriously am a guy this so not my forte, expect for the impending flogging part, strong discipline. Thing is it will all prob her to be deceitful the more and more careful with her lifestyle and whatever, i know that first hand from experience.
I need a way too maintain the relationship and still keep her ironed out.
She's 16.

Well...I guess some things are better learnt from experience. U cant live her life for her. Do ur bit and advice her. Not sure u shuld be floggin her at that age. Hopefully, she'll change with time. Therez little u can do for her now xcpt ensure the experience she is learning from isn't HIV/pregnancy.

Children grow up on the foundation they got. I didn't have such experience with my younger sister because of so many factors - foundation and others - that came into play.
My maternal cousin, who came to live with us though nearly gave me high blood pressure. She came when she was around 10 and blossomed into a beautiful girl at 15/16. She had hips, figure, beauty etc and attracted all sorts.
Now, I had laid down a law amongst my siblings, her inclusive. “No relationships till I see admission letter to a tertiary institution.”
Because of the way the hierarchy in our house is/was structured, I can/could afford to give such ultimatums. Now, my little cousin who was in SS 1 by then started having admirers. I, in my small wisdom, didn't want my parents knowing because I felt I could handle the situation but she started becoming saucy and came back late from errands. I punished her after one of such incidences and in return she reported me to the 'chief' boyfriend, a young man in his 30s. That one came to me and I told him off in the most scalding way.
"Is that how you would like your sister to be treated? If you want to marry her, wait till she finishes school. Come and meet my parents and they will direct you to her parents but leave her alone. If I see you come by the shop again, I will raise an alarm, ensure my parents hear and have her returned to the village."
Why did she become saucy? I wouldn't go as far as saying she had started having sex but I would say I stumbled on gift items and she usually had money. We weren't sleeping in the same room.

So, money + gifts + love proclamations from men + sex will ensure your sister turns a deaf ears to your pleas or punishments. Girls at that age are easily swayed.

In my cousin's case, I started talking to her about how her parents would feel if she disappointed them especially her father whom she loved dearly - I used sentiments.
I called a siblings meeting and told them we had to value ourselves against outsiders and that money wasn't all that. I told them, I could give out of my allowance if I had but whenever I couldn't meet any of their demands, after they had met our parents, then they were to be content with not having whatever they needed - I preached contentment.
I encouraged her to join a church group. Why? She could still be guided aright and it worked.

All these were done without my parents (father) knowing. My father is a staunch disciplinarian, go against his rules and if you were a relative, you would be sent home.

Punishments or flogging won't change her, it would just lead her to the eager arms of men and in anger she would feel that going against your wishes is the retaliation needed to hurt you.
Talking about condoms or STDs would be like gibberish, cause she is still high on her new found pleasures. She is already getting things from different men.

I feel that the root cause is lack of love especially fuelled by the strained relationship with the step-mother.
Are you guys close? If yes, take more interests in her studies, drill her about school and what she learnt.

Talk to her about life generally. Tell her your plans. Ask about hers.

Listen carefully when she talks.

Talk flippantly about relationships. Ones you had and while you broke off some. Put fiction if you have to. In your stories, emphasize on how the ladies thought their bodies were a bargaining chip. What guys value in ladies. Do all this in a relaxed setting, if she is tensed; she would close her mind to any advices.

Live an exemplary life.

Sorry for the epistle

Bro there is nothing you can do... She wanna explore .. She can only learn her lesson in a hard way

Enoquin:
Children grow up on the foundation they got. I didn't have such experience with my younger sister because of so many factors - foundation and others - that came into play.
My maternal cousin, who came to live with us though nearly gave me high blood pressure. She came when she was around 10 and blossomed into a beautiful girl at 15/16. She had hips, figure, beauty etc and attracted all sorts.
Now, I had laid down a law amongst my siblings, her inclusive. “No relationships till I see admission letter to a tertiary institution.”
Because of the way the hierarchy in our house is/was structured, I can/could afford to give such ultimatums. Now, my little cousin who was in SS 1 by then started having admirers. I, in my small wisdom, didn't want my parents knowing because I felt I could handle the situation but she started becoming saucy and came back late from errands. I punished her after one of such incidences and in return she reported me to the 'chief' boyfriend, a young man in his 30s. That one came to me and I told him off in the most scalding way.
"Is that how you would like your sister to be treated? If you want to marry her, wait till she finishes school. Come and meet my parents and they will direct you to her parents but leave her alone. If I see you come by the shop again, I will raise an alarm, ensure my parents hear and have her returned to the village."
Why did she become saucy? I wouldn't go as far as saying she had started having sex but I would say I stumbled on gift items and she usually had money. We weren't sleeping in the same room.

So, money + gifts + love proclamations from men + sex will ensure your sister turns a deaf ears to your pleas or punishments. Girls at that age are easily swayed.

In my cousin's case, I started talking to her about how her parents would feel if she disappointed them especially her father whom she loved dearly - I used sentiments.
I called a siblings meeting and told them we had to value ourselves against outsiders and that money wasn't all that. I told them, I could give out of my allowance if I had but whenever I couldn't meet any of their demands, after they had met our parents, then they were to be content with not having whatever they needed - I preached contentment.
I encouraged her to join a church group. Why? She could still be guided aright and it worked.

All these were done without my parents (father) knowing. My father is a staunch disciplinarian, go against his rules and if you were a relative, you would be sent home.

Punishments or flogging won't change her, it would just lead her to the eager arms of men and in anger she would feel that going against your wishes is the retaliation needed to hurt you.
Talking about condoms or STDs would be like gibberish, cause she is still high on her new found pleasures. She is already getting things from different men.

I feel that the root cause is lack of love especially fuelled by the strained relationship with the step-mother.
Are you guys close? If yes, take more interests in her studies, drill her about school and what she learnt.

Talk to her about life generally. Tell her your plans. Ask about hers.

Listen carefully when she talks.

Talk flippantly about relationships. Ones you had and while you broke off some. Put fiction if you have to. In your stories, emphasize on how the ladies thought their bodies were a bargaining chip. What guys value in ladies. Do all this in a relaxed setting, if she is tensed; she would close her mind to any advices.

Live an exemplary life.

Sorry for the epistle

thanks imma try ma dad disciplinarian too, a force man at that. Imma try ur when am home,for now her fone stays with me.

fergieboy:
Bro there is nothing you can do... She wanna explore .. She can only learn her lesson in a hard way

she has me, that has too count for something.

fergieboy:
Bro there is nothing you can do... She wanna explore .. She can only learn her lesson in a hard way

she has me, that has too count for something. I just have to try.

chalantmike:
not her sole guardian, living with parent, our mom passed years back of recent she and my step mom don't see eye to eye, they use to have this peace treaty in the past, i pretend to like you, you pretend to care kinda life but right now on the slightest provocation they on each others next. Thinking of forwarding her to my aunt, problem is i dont want to ruin that trust we have, that connection. But seriously am a guy this so not my forte, expect for the impending flogging part, strong discipline. Thing is it will all prob her to be deceitful the more and more careful with her lifestyle and whatever, i know that first hand from experience.
I need a way too maintain the relationship and still keep her ironed out.
She's 16.

How did it go when you flogged her? Or did you have to?

Some lessons in life needs to be learnt the hard way and the experiences may leave a scar that will not heal in our conscience.

First you've to stop being the big brother and try being her friend and confidant without letting your moral stand down in key issues but making her realize you're there too aid her navigate through the storms of adolescence. Let her know some mistakes now will forever haunt her and someday she'll be in a position to advise her own child.

I don't know her she but even teenage boys have a knack for their own troubles. I stopped being a big brother but a friend to my youngster bro at a time to make sure am in the know in most of his activities. It played out well as so many things were averted. It will take patience on your side and be free to share all antics that can be used against her by boys. Differentiate between biology and psychology. You have to win this battle with wits and muscle flexing will come in later.

All the best.