lezz:
I read his whole posts. What I did was sift the weed from the grain. and there's so much positive emotion to take from his experience.

If nairaland females will find for themselves husbands half the man the poster is, maybe we would have less traffic with females who have taken up permanent residence at the romance section.

Good thing you seperated the wheat from the chaff but, I can tell you if you conducted a nairaland poll right now, 97% will never want to be associated with him while the other 3% who wouldn't mind having him might do so because he is rich or she is very desperate.

My advice to you, do not let any lady torture you in the name of testing you, if she doesn't trust your genuity and sincerity, then she doesn't have any business being with you.

Same goes for you, do not torture any lady in the name of testing them. If you don't trust her enough to be sincere with her emotions for you, then its stupidity to be dating her.

Ihuomadinihu:

Are you a man or a demon?

can u quote what he said wrong for u to call him a demon...

masties2:
There are two things involved.
1. The hubby doesnot help out at home. Hence he treats her like a glorified slave.
2. The hubby showered her with too much love during courtship.

no 2 is likely to happen

boykas:


can u quote what he said wrong for u to call him a demon...

I believe you have the gift of sight. He felt he lost control of his doll baby,so the only alternative is to maltreat,hit and batter her and the woman came begging. Is this how your father treated your mother? He will practically do the same thing,if his wife goes back to her old ways.
Besides,he also sees women as subhumans and mere objects that should respect him even when it's undeserving. Anu ohia!

netsurf:
How best to handle a stubborn wife...when I say stubborn, I mean very stubborn...she doesn't listen nor take any advice or order from her husband...doesn't respect the man's opinion about anything...

On the few occasions, when she accepts she was wrong, she also want to be the judge in her own case. If the husband airs his opinion about any subject, she would insist she consult google for her to believe. It's no exaggeration...this is how exactly she behaves.

Please note that she was the epitome of an humble woman before the wedding but as soon as the wedding bell rang, she became another thing entirely.

Please anyone with good idea on how to handle such women before divorce option?

I have learnt to judge any matter by first hearing the opinion of both sides. We will like to hear your wife's story.
Here is my advice:
I am sure there is a senior/elderly person in your family or hers or a Pastor which you both respect. Go and seek advice from such. NL cannot help you.

onelife97:
@op,permit me to tell u my personal experience.
I got married abt 5 years ago and have a 4yr old boy.But ever since my wife delivered the boy,my life has become unbearable and very difficult to move on.my opinion in any matter with my so called wife mother of my son never counts.But she LL have to confide ir seek advice from unknown people online or her racist family b4 she LL to what I say even though she LL never bring any I her own idea to the table.If u ask my wife a million questions,I bet u csn only get one answer everytime"I DON'T KNOW".those has been goin on for the past 4 years.for more than 3 years,she won't even sleep with me in the sane too let alone make love/have sex with me.I can count how many times we did it in the past years.
Anyway,to cut the long story short,I decided to look for another girl because I won't kill myself with depression.
So sometimes last week,I was talkin to a girl on phone and she was eavesdropping and I got caught.
However,I was thinkin there would be problem in the house and heaven might fall and the hell would break loose.But to my deepest surprise my wife has been treating m like a man of the house now.askin me for sex without rubber etc.
So I have learnt a new lesson now.WOMEN DON'T APPRECIATE GOOD GUYS WHICH I HAVE BEEN ALL THESE YEARS.
Unfortunately for her,I am gone and no looking back.just waiting for something and she LL be completely out of my life.

I won't tell u what to do with urs.u know her and u know the best for ya.think it thru and take ur best decision without anybody interference pls.

Women are not supposed to be pampered.

dude...your wife is doing the same as my wife..even if she found out that am cheating..she won't even do anything,the only thing she does is abuse and neglect. I want to take a decision and my advise is to go to her parent,for 6 month maybe she can change from there..
I was asking my wife, what's the problem and why is she always got angry everyday.and let me,know what am doing wrong. She won't answer you and the only she says is SHE DONT KNOW..this Sunday a little thing got me annoyed and we had a laps. So she said she wants to go to her parent and I need to let go and don't want het to come back until six months..and my baby is 11 months old.. Pls advise if that's the proper thing to do..

Note: I need experience person who's married to comment.. Not cuddle,play or talk to her cuz Av done a lot of things.. Thanks

Ihuomadinihu:

You married a desperate woman. No girl in her right senses will tolerate you,just so you know that all women are not as silly as your wife. I've not mentioned my marital status,i don't see why you assume am single. You are just a misorgynist who believes he must subdue a woman to earn respect from her. If all men are like you,then no marriage will take place on earth. Every word you have written completely shows you come from a poor and bitter background which has left scars on your memory and personality. Your posts in general is cocky,grandiose,controlling and self centered. If your Father was not able to control your mother,how do you think you can do same without proper guidance. The only thing you can do is to manipulate and trap a woman through violence and mind control. You need to re evaluate your childhood experiences with women cos you have an unconscious problem that formed early in life as a result of trauma involving a female figure you trusted. An abusive mother or aunty can plant seed deep down your brain,if your puppet decides to show you her real personality,then you would go back to your abusive tactics. Clueless man!
By the way,a woman is not your daughter but your equal,only honourable men can refer to their wives as a daughter.
Only stupors will celebrate your extraordinary vitriolic views about women.

from your comments, u are the one grounded by bitter childhood phenomena. Your misplaced anger and invective tongue has painted a real picture of u. Did I say u are not married. U are married na! But not every seed is a peascot. u rain courses on my wife cause she chosed to be mild and prideless. See yur life? My wife is a leader. I got what i needed. Why ee come dey pain u like this na! If it hurts u dat much Go and take a nap. Itz our life not yours.

jadelyn007:
he just inspired you to be what? A psychopath? How about some lady u love treating you like trash all in the name of testing you?

Do unto others as you would like them to do to you!

I think you should take sometime and really read what da dude wrote. Read everything -from top to bottom. If u still don't understand,then I'm sorry. or wait... If u were referring to his earlier comment of 'battering and pushing his wife out in da rain" cos he 'feigned' anger. Then yeah,I consciously didn't quote dat part cos I won't do it. I can't feign anger,I give it as it is. Here's one thing,sometimes u won't find a whole book interesting, but jst a quote,an excerpt or a page out of it is what u need to kick on.

I'm in a relationship, I love this lady to bits and pieces. I'm 21 nearing my final year in university and my future plans has her in it.

Do unto others as you would like them to do to you!

u know what I'm doing?? I'm letting go of myself,my ego to love this lady. Why? Cos I want to love and want her to do da same to me

nairalife2013:
from your comments, u are the one grounded by bitter childhood phenomena. Your misplaced anger and invective tongue has painted a real picture of u. Did I say u are not married. U are married na! But not every seed is a peascot. u rain courses on my wife cause she chosed to be mild and prideless. See yur life? My wife is a leader. I got what i needed. Why ee come dey pain u like this na! If it hurts u dat much Go and take a nap. Itz our life not yours.

Sorry about your puppet,her suppossed gentleness is just going to last for a while. Your bitter experience about your parents led you to believe you can only control a woman through torture. Ask every responsible and enlightened men how they manage their women. Women are not animals,they are not created to be controled but guided and cared for. You are just a psychopath on the loose.
Your wife is a leader,when she is supposed to be seen not heard?
Your wife is a leader,when she has no right to express her emotions in your presense? Tufia kwa!
Am not bothered about you and your pussy cat. Am bothered about the naive guys that will read your trash and believe that women are supposed to be dominated before they learn to respect a man.

Ihuomadinihu:
If Nigerian men are celebrating the kind of nonesense i just read on this thread,then many African men still have a long way to go. How can a guy believe that the best way to manage a woman is to subject her to a dehumanizing test. He didn't just stop there,he called all women a ''tabular raza.
It's a pity!

Honestly, that dude is SICK

Thank goodness he's "married". It's reassuring to know that my female friends are safe from psychos like him.

His so called "wife" must have low self esteem or she came from a very poor home and she depended 100% on him financially to see her through school, etc.

jadelyn007:
hahaha, as old as you claim to be you lack discernment enough to know that age has nothing to do with wisdom.

You should be thanking your stars that you got a good woman not preening like a peacock on nairaland because trust me, a desperate devilish woman will pass those childish tests of your's and then give you a full dose of your own medicine when she becomes your wife.

Old man, let me tell you what gives in this 2015, you do not test people by torturing them unless you are CIA or FBI.

Same advice I give to you is what I give to every other male or female out there. You should not test anyone with stupid stuff, there are other ways to know the genuity of your partner without having to put them through stupid, nasty tests. Its plain stupid

no matter how desperate the woman could be, she couldnt hav passd my observation without breaking down to her realself. Some women are what the are. U are what u are, thatz why u are bitter and red-eyed. U are a lady, calm down yur eyes are not supposed to be as red as yur cun-t innards.

nairalife2013:
no matter how desperate the woman could be, she couldnt hav passd my observation without breaking down to her realself. Some women are what the are. U are what u are, thatz why u are bitter and red-eyed. U are a lady, calm down yur eyes are not supposed to be as red as yur cun-t innards.

Your wife is the cun-t here.

Battering doesnt always mean bludgeoning, hitting, wounding and mutilating. It could mean more or less than that. Those dat hav discerning minds and comprehensive spirit know what I mean. But I will take pains to respond to every rejoinder, be it malicious or lenient. We are learning, especially those kids quoting me with peurile glee. Keep it coming...

Ihuomadinihu:

Your wife is the cun-t here.

hahaha. In yur narrow mind, am calling u a cunt. Hmmm.So much u dont know.

nairalife2013:
Battering doesnt always mean bludgeoning, hitting, wounding and mutilating. It could mean. Those dat hav discerning minds and comprehensive spirit know what I mean. But I will take pains to respond to every rejoinder, be it malicious or lenient. We are learning, especially those kids quoting me with peurile glee. Keep it coming...

There is only one definition of pushing and battering. Any other defintion is medicine after death. Am glad most men don't believe your nonesense.
You didn't just stop at that,you are practically controlling her and her existence. You told you that your gifts and cars make her happy? Coward!

netsurf:


There are just too many instances...pls read the first post again.

It may be strange to you but imagine a situation in which the man has no say in any descision on any subject...she always have her way...anything less, she complains endlessly.

is she the bread winner?

nairalife2013:
hahaha. In yur narrow mind, am calling u a cunt. Hmmm.So much u dont know.

You referred to jadelyn007 as a cun-t. The full implication is that she has no right to be angry cos it will make her as red as a **. Your words alone are just trashy and repulsive,that shows how messed up you are.

nairalife2013:
The kind of woman I married are few. She hung at d door and cried and told me she was so sorry abt what she did. I was crying inside as she spoke amidst sobs. My heart bled. But I had to do it. I was abt to hand my life to some1. I needed the best. I did dat to two other ladies who coursed me and left my life for good. But this one wept and told me she so much loved me her life could crash or end by heartache if she left, and she confirmed she couldn't live a day without me. I would hav deciphered if she was feigning remorse. It wouldn't take me long. I am who I am.
I opened the door and brought her in. Till today she is not aware I faked that angst. I loved her more. I was loaded widout her knowledge. I got her her first car, a saloon as I proposed to her. She was just entering sch. We got married. She took in. At delivery of our first child, I got her a suv. We were young and full of life. I was living my life just to give her joy and all necessities of life. I loved her beyond words. When she took in for our second child, the conception was at a time a terrible moodswing hit my wife. I thot she had changed. She would pick up argument s with me and make faces a whole week just for no just cause. She quarreled wid my younger sisters at any slight provocation and sat all day in an unkempt home watching her regular, favourite fbi action movies. I was mesmerized. Little thins piss me up. But I endured this one. I was afraid somthing was wrong. After delivery of our second child, abt a year later, Like some1 that woke up from a nightmare, My wife came to me and complained she involuntarily wakes every morning with bouts of indescribable anger flourishing in her heart. Since that day I knew it was my turn by providence to show love and tolerance and understanding. I did. My wife went thro those tormentous days without knowing the reason why she was so angrily depressed. One day, She went consciously to my sisters and apologized. Spent more time with them and amended all errors. It's some years now and all those trying times are over, leaving behind funny reminisces only a good heart could understand. When a lady is good, she is good. Your own goodness tho might be regarded as weakness or greed by an incompatible third party. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I do not regret my actions. Those ladies whose level of tolerance where below my recomended average had departed in good fate. I wished them luck and enduring love. My wife is now working and her welfare package, large as it is, is in my control on her insistence, with total abandon! She is selfless to a fault and prefares a one-lady lifestyle, upon the trappings of life chance and time have bestowed on her at her young age.
... My wife told me once: I see u not only as my husband but also as my father; reprimanding me in any way, as a father would her daughter, is lovingly accepted by me cause I trust yur sense of judgment and our kids would obey u for good if I myself obey u and succumb with respect; I love u to that point."
... There are many eager males and plenty of willing females in the world. If u stumble on yur right choice, love can let u into limitless tolerance. Many ladies are possesd by the destructive spirit of subconscious pride and seemingly suppressed self ego. The last creatures to know they need help allround. The few that are free hardly preach to their kind, The Message. Instead they vent the opposit of the message.
Dont do like me. I personally do not tally well long enoff with ladies who do not have the habit of accepting defeat wether they are right or wrong. Those type are good for one nite stand levels not for running a home. Pls find a way to be patient. If she is inherently a-self-worth-type of lady, u need to work harder on tolerance and never let yur praying knees get lazy. Goodluck.

your wife lack self worth and suffers chronic low self esteem. While you are a beast and a monster

netsurf:

If the husband airs his opinion about any subject, she would insist she consult google for her to believe.

I don't agree she's stubborn. She just likes to have empirical evidence and does not believe in acting based on opinion.

buske:
My view... There's no smoke without fire... She most have exhibited signs of stubbornness before the marriage.

seriously, there was none...she appologise even before you found out she has done something wrong.

Ihuomadinihu:

I believe you have the gift of sight. He felt he lost control of his doll baby,so the only alternative is to maltreat,hit and batter her and the woman came begging. Is this how your father treated your mother? He will practically do the same thing,if his wife goes back to her old ways.
Besides,he also sees women as subhumans and mere objects that should respect him even when it's undeserving. Anu ohia!

is this how you talk to your husband whenever both of had an argument..believe me i dont argue with woman and i wont exchange comment with you.. what have i said to have this insult..why will you called my father and mother.. you can never have a good husband with your ways of stupid self esteem. thank you

Paentera:
Love heals & conquers ALL.

If you can love without batting an eyelid, she will come back to her sense. This means you must be willing to let go of your selfish self and endeavour to do everything for her and your young family without expecting anything in return.

If you are unable to LOVE without expecting anything in return e.g. obedience, trust, honesty e.t.c, then you are not ready to be in a marriage. LOVE also covers all shortcomings. Let go of your SELF and EGO - it will do you NO good.

I don't know if you are married or not but I'll NEVER let go of my self respect all in the name of love that is not reciprocal. It is self evident that you either have seen too much of those love stories home videos or you have read too much of the romance novels...either way, pls keep your advise to yourself. How could you ask a man to continue to live like a robot...blood flows in his veins too. Pls be realistic in your further comments.

Ihuomadinihu:

You referred to jadelyn007 as a cun-t. The full implication is that she has no right to be angry cos it will make her as red as a **. Your words alone are just trashy and repulsive,that shows how messed up you are.

becos u lack syntax appreciation and adage understanding doesnt mean elders would stop speaking in parables. Go and take a rest then come back when u are more matured in the head and in the mind.

nairalife2013:
becos u lack syntax appreciation and adage understanding doesnt mean elders would stop speaking in parables. Go and take a rest then come back when u are more matured in the head and in the mind.

Lol,using flambouyant words and sentence does not mean you are matured or reasonable.

At last count, 160 posters liked nairalife's post?

Single ladies have got to pray real hard.

boykas:


is this how you talk to your husband whenever both of had an argument..believe me i dont argue with woman and i wont exchange comment with you.. what have i said to have this insult..why will you called my father and mother.. you can never have a good husband with your ways of stupid self esteem. thank you

u hav to be patient with ihuomadinihu. To the subject matter, if u are already in marriage, close yur eyes to many things yur wife does. Women hav kids' mind. And u know kids think they know too much. They argue over unreasonable issues to yur chagrin and size u up subcoinciously with a midset that careless abt the natural beliefs of a Typical man. If u didnt appraise and accept yur wife's antics when u were courting, u should have peacefully sought for a resolution to save u both from future agony. See, the worst plague to hit a man is to spend the rest of his life with a wife whose feathers, like that of a peacock, stands on edge!

boykas:


is this how you talk to your husband whenever both of had an argument..believe me i dont argue with woman and i wont exchange comment with you.. what have i said to have this insult..why will you called my father and mother.. you can never have a good husband with your ways of stupid self esteem. thank you

I was referring to the saddist that wrote the initial comment. You are just one of the few men that will commend the rubbish he wrote and copy his manner of approaching women. You wouldn't argue with a women? Becos she is not worthy enough or what? At least,Nairaland has exposed the kind of men that we have in Nigeria. Pls don't quote me asking silly questions before you will claim that i insulted you.

Bollinger:


In the Army, you have a commander and a 1st SGT. They are partners, joined at the hip to ensure the successful running of a company. The Captain handles all the planning and the major administrative stuff, while the 1st SGT implements whatever plans the captain comes up with to ensure the success of the overall mission. As much as they are partners, there is no doubt who is in charge. The commander. You cannot have two captains and two leaders running a company at the same time. The lower enlisted and officers don't see this, but, if at anytime the 1st SGT gets out of line, he is counseled and corrective training is and must be implemented so as to 1) correct whatever wrong was committed by the 1st SGT, and 2), to let the 1st SGT know exactly who is in charge.

Your problem is you are not taking charge of your house and are not letting her know who is in charge. I am not saying go crazy, but there are subtle ways to enforce standards and discipline without being a draconian. All that nonsense about google is insane. she has no confidence in your leadership abilities, which must have been caused by you. Put your house in order and she will follow and walk by your side to wherever you want to go. Women can smell a weakling a mile away and it is up to you to show and prove you know what you are talking about and what you are doing. Again, this is not saying that you start acting all crazy, but you need to do something and do it fast, least you lose your marriage. Lastly, stop blaming her; the fault is yours.

Thanks for this but let me just give you an instance about the googling aspect to know it's not because I failed to show leadership trait. During our courtship...very early..about a month from when we met, we were having a discussion about how drugs are manufactured and I said scientist delibrately use either a dead human or live as 'guinea pigs' to test efficacy of drugs before it's realesed into the market for consumption...she shouted..it's a lie...then I tried explaining to her by giving examples of what I have seen and read...the next thing she said is untill she consult google, she cannot believe what i said. Another instance came when she developed some skin rashes which has failed to respond to so many prescribed drugs...then I said we should consider blood tonics and that she should start eating more of fruits and vegetables to strenghten her immune system...she said it has nothing to do with her blood and tha it's just a skin disease...then I tried explaining what I know about skin and the veins that supplies blood to the skin...she responded by carying her phone and before you can blink, she was already on google...that day, everything I said about the skin and her skin issue was exactly on google. Rather than become sober, she still insist that she only belives because google said so. Then it occured to me in a flash that she might not respect not only my opinion but everything I stand for. I remembered I discussed my fears with her about three days after but she said I misundertood her.

boykas:
O God...this Is what's happening to me right now.. But I still love my wife and the kid she had for me..i don't know what to do than send her mother for some time. Am really not happy at the moment and am loosing concentration at work..God should lead me thru

God'll see you through my brother but I'm going to show this one the door if she refused to back down.

Lol... please help ask him o. Even angel christabel will react to this nonsense he called text. He wants holy Mary for a wife na

babygirlfl:


You call all this testing her?

Ihuomadinihu:

Lol,using flambouyant words and sentence does not mean you are matured or reasonable.

u read a simple line upside down without knowing the crux and went straight to instigate a lady for a showdown by telling her I called her a cun-t.

nairalife2013:
u hav to be patient with ihuomadinihu. To the subject matter, if u are already in marriage, close yur eyes to many things yur wife does. Women hav kids' mind. And u know kids think they know too much. They argue over unreasonable issues to yur chagrin and size u up subcoinciously with a midset that careless abt the natural beliefs of a Typical man. If u didnt appraise and accept her antics, u should have peacefully seek for a resolution to save u both from future agony. See, the worst plague to hit a man is to spend the rest of his life with a wife whose feathers, like that of a peacock, stands on edge!

@NAIRALIFE

Believe me man. you are the best.. i understand all her kids mind.. she has never find a woman as difficult as we are.. who told her we dont listen to them, who told her we treat them like puppet. you can imagine how she called your wife puppet and still called her that without knowing her personality. what kind of woman are there in this 2015, and a lot pple giving the go ahead for her jerk...
like i said earlier i dont argue with women, believe me. i argue when i loose my tamper and they loose that ordinarily.
you are really a patient man ooo, ask her, if she is the man, and go out to work under this costless economic we are in and you still have a partner who called herself yur wife and doesnt give you a bit of rest, never mind your emotion how you feel, what troubles you and who still grumbles and troubles you all thru the day, but at the end the man still cuddle her and give a lot of chance that she will change. meanwhile till today as we speak, she can never change but go on with behaviour, ego/pride.
I always loose concentration at work because of this.. do you think all men are happy not finding solution on thier own... you have never seen anything.. i pray she had a person like my wife her brother's wife. and she will see what they called life...