Nigerian parents find it pretty hard to say sorry..
The closest sorry you would hear is
Have you eaten
Is it pride or your opinion.

It’s not part of our culture for adults to admit wrong doing to children, even when it’s obvious they are at fault. In reality, when a parent apologizes to a child, it further cements the parent-child relationship and provides the child with a sense of safety and well-being.

winetapper:
Nigerian parents find it pretty hard to say sorry..
The closest sorry you would hear is
Have you eaten
Is it pride or your opinion.

Its pride. If u offend an 8year old u wudnt apologize either

CountDracula:

Its pride. If u offend an 8year old u wudnt apologize either

hmm but they should lead by example tho..

tcalc:
It’s not part of our culture for adults to admit wrong doing to children, even when it’s obvious they are at fault. In reality, when a parent apologizes to a child, it further cements the parent-child relationship and provides the child with a sense of safety and well-being.

Well said but it's not really a cultural thing, rather it's just our mentality.

tcalc:
It’s not part of our culture for adults to admit wrong doing to children, even when it’s obvious they are at fault. In reality, when a parent apologizes to a child, it further cements the parent-child relationship and provides the child with a sense of safety and well-being.

I dnt agree wit dat, if u apologize to a child d child wud feel ur imperfection and knw u can't always b ryt, d child won't see u as a moral compass anymore... Its like havin a computer dt u found out is liable to mistake, wil u stil hav complete trust in it?

ammyluv2002:
Well said but it's not really a cultural thing, rather it's just our mentality.

why do people always say dis? "Its our mentality" wats d mentality here?

tcalc:
It’s not part of our culture for adults to admit wrong doing to children, even when it’s obvious they are at fault. In reality, when a parent apologizes to a child, it further cements the parent-child relationship and provides the child with a sense of safety and well-being.

yeah thanks for this..
So how do we intend to correct this the young generation?

Cos d child will start growing wings when u do that.

CountDracula:
why do people always say dis? "Its our mentality" wats d mentality here?

bro the mentality is that pride that makes you think you always perfect

winetapper:
hmm but they should lead by example tho..

If dey ar ur example and dey apologise dt means dey ar admittin dey ar wrong... If ur example can b wrong, won't u find a reason to find anoda "more superior" example?

CountDracula:
why do people always say dis? "Its our mentality" wats d mentality here?

That Parents are always right and owe no explanation to their kids on any action they decide to take that's the mentality I'm talking about here

qbd2:
Cos d child will start growing wings when u do that.

then you bring the rod into manifestation

winetapper:
bro the mentality is that pride that makes you think you always perfect

Wen it comes to parenting u can't allow ur child to knw ure nt always right...

CountDracula:

I dnt agree wit dat, if u apologize to a child d child wud feel ur imperfection and knw u can't always b ryt, d child won't see u as a moral compass anymore... Its like havin a computer dt u found out is liable to mistake, wil u stil hav complete trust in it?

So you think the child doesn't know u re wrong?? You re only preparing the child to be an adult who never admits his mistakes!

Take for example you purnish a child for what he didn't do and it later becomes clear to everybody that he didn't do it, will u still be claiming your right? You re increasing the amount of disdain the child will have for you.

CountDracula:

If dey ar ur example and dey apologise dt means dey ar admittin dey ar wrong... If ur example can b wrong, won't u find a reason to find anoda "more superior" example?

at least its better they admit they are wrong and try tell them their mistakes and take correction

ammyluv2002:
That Parents are always right and owe no explanation to their kids on any action they decide to take that's the mentality I'm talking about here

Why wud u owe ur child an explanation for ur action? If d child isn't matured enof to understand why u did watever u did den d child isn't matured enof to knw wat u did is wrong either

CountDracula:

Wen it comes to parenting u can't allow ur child to knw ure nt always right...

its more fact to show no one is perfect...and one needs to know the cause of the failure and amend it..
But if you didnt apologise the children would think the parents mistake is right

winetapper:
at least its better they admit they are wrong and try tell them their mistakes and take correction

Dey wil look at u and tell u "hw do i knw ur correction isn't anoda mistake?"

winetapper:
its more fact to show no one is perfect...and one needs to know the cause of the failure and amend it..
But if you didnt apologise the children would think the parents mistake is right

If u apologise, all ur actions from dat day hence forth wil b subject to doubt in d eyes of d child... If u make one mistake dnt think d solution is apology, apology is meant to make d oda party feel good, it doesn't right a wrong... Dnt confuse it

vfactor:


So you think the child doesn't know u re wrong?? You re only preparing the child to be an adult who never admits his mistakes!

Take for example you purnish a child for what he didn't do and it later becomes clear to everybody that he didn't do it, will u still be claiming your right? You re increasing the amount of disdain the child will have for you.

If u punish a child for wat he didn't do u wud never do dat intentionally, and if d child knws u made a mistake den he understands, if he doesn't knw its a mistake den he doesn't need to

CountDracula:

Why wud u owe ur child an explanation for ur action? If d child isn't matured enof to understand why u did watever u did den d child isn't matured enof to knw wat u did is wrong either

U see? That's what I'm talking about! It's not okay to tell a child "don't lie to anyone" without letting the child know why lying is bad. We all have feelings no matter how old. A child needs to be heard also, you just don't treat them like sticks

CountDracula:

If u punish a child for wat he didn't do u wud never do dat intentionally, and if d child knws u made a mistake den he understands, if he doesn't knw its a mistake den he doesn't need to

Since he understands its a mistake, he now knows u re not perfect and your moral guidance cannot be trusted, according to you.

I think parents should let children know that adults make mistakes too. The amount of love and care you show them is enough for them to trust you

vfactor:


Since he understands its a mistake, he now knows u re not perfect and your moral guidance cannot be trusted, according to you.

I think parents should let children know that adults make mistakes too. The amount of love and care you show them is enough for them to trust you

Exactly!

CountDracula:

If u apologise, all ur actions from dat day hence forth wil b subject to doubt in d eyes of d child... If u make one mistake dnt think d solution is apology, apology is meant to make d oda party feel good, it doesn't right a wrong... Dnt confuse it

yeah i am learning some thing here.. But are you trying to say one shouldnt use the word sorry when refering to her children

ammyluv2002:
U see? That's what I'm talking about! It's not okay to tell a child "don't lie to anyone" without letting the child know why lying is bad. We all have feelings no matter how old. A child needs to be heard also, you just don't treat them like sticks

When u tell a child its bad to lie, its nt until u lie dt u do dt... I never said anythng abt treatin dem like sticks, bt u hav to condition their mind to d prospect dt ure a perfect role model until dey ar matured enof to understand wt life is all abt, children ar nt adults dnt treat dem like adults, if u hav a dispute wit an adult, u fight or engage in arguments, u can't do dat wit a child, so also u dnt do some other things meant for a matured mind

vfactor:


So you think the child doesn't know u re wrong?? You re only preparing the child to be an adult who never admits his mistakes!

Take for example you purnish a child for what he didn't do and it later becomes clear to everybody that he didn't do it, will u still be claiming your right? You re increasing the amount of disdain the child will have for you.

Thats it, showing that we have the strength to admit to and survive mistakes helps to encourage our children to have the same strength in their dealings with others. It’s important to demonstrate that a relationship can survive errors. children need to know that it’s possible to make amends and give another person the option to do the same in return. Apologizing lets a person both give and experience forgiveness. If children grow up with the experience of apology and forgiveness within the family, they will be far better equipped to deal with the relationships they will develop as they grow up.

winetapper:
yeah i am learning some thing here.. But are you trying to say one shouldnt use the word sorry when refering to her children

Just like u wudnt say "fvck u" to ur child if he/she offends u, u shudnt say sorry either

vfactor:


Since he understands its a mistake, he now knows u re not perfect and your moral guidance cannot be trusted, according to you.

I think parents should let children know that adults make mistakes too. The amount of love and care you show them is enough for them to trust you

Trust isn't based on love and care bro...

CountDracula:

When u tell a child its bad to lie, its nt until u lie dt u do dt... I never said anythng abt treatin dem like sticks, bt u hav to condition their mind to d prospect dt ure a perfect role model until dey ar matured enof to understand wt life is all abt, children ar nt adults dnt treat dem like adults, if u hav a dispute wit an adult, u fight or engage in arguments, u can't do dat wit a child, so also u dnt do some other things meant for a matured mind

Lol..lies! Look, those kids have brains too so they know if their parents aren't the perfect role models so they don't need to fake it.You think they don't see abi you think they don't dicuss family matters with their friends even at a very tender age. Pls, let's not deceive ourselves here cause respect is earned.

CountDracula:

I dnt agree wit dat, if u apologize to a child d child wud feel ur imperfection and knw u can't always b ryt, d child won't see u as a moral compass anymore... Its like havin a computer dt u found out is liable to mistake, wil u stil hav complete trust in it?

when someone was clearly wrong and did not apologize for their behavior. It caused a lot of resentment when we felt we were unfairly treated. children have an acute sense of fairness. Resentment grows and eats away at good feelings and a barrier grows between children and parents.

CountDracula:
why do people always say dis? "Its our mentality" wats d mentality here?

ar u saying is customary, custom or cultural? what is your argument.