I am a new generation banker,I really need to get settled but I have issues with choosing the right lady.Recently a corp member was posted to my unit for a place of primary assignment;I was meant to interviewed her as she will be working directly in my unit. On sitting her the chemistry was overwhelming.I LIKED her and she LIKED me too.

She is so hardworking ,brilliant and dedicated to her duty that I felt I should have her for a wife.I ASKED her out on one of our several outings on weekends.I knew she wanted me,but she is deeply rooted in a relationship back home.SHE DID NOT SAY AN EMPHATIC YES OR A NO she only explained to me how long and deeply she have committed to her guy.

We started dating there after with the full knowledge that her guy existed,,,,the guy even call her in my presence.Now she will be passing out this February.I have appraised her and other corp members believing the bank ill retain their services,she have told me that her guy want her back in her state.I am already in love with her and wish to marry her.what do i do? One bad guy said I should make her Pregnant though I know it not a solution at all.

No good will come to people like you that's why you will have a hard time finding the right woman for you.

Why is it so hard for some people to respect the fact that the person youre interested in is in a relationship
just imagine you being marriied and some guy somewhere is coming on to you wife or even girlfriend, How exactly would you want her to behave think about that one and get back at me.

I dont even know why you are dating sum1 that is already in a relationship. what you have for her is lust PERIOD and the better u recognize that she gat a man, the better for u. The gurl is even stupid enough, sumtimes, i really wonder how people reason

Omega25red I appreciate ur post .I quite understand you point of view,but the truth is that the world we live have become very dynamic and competitive.I have not be able to find love for three years now because i lost interest in the love game; I was in a relationship for 6 years, It started during my JAMB class days, years ago.we dated throughout my University days,I was in UNIBEN she went through Auchi Polytecthnic.This was on affair i thought was made in heaven,anyway I GRADUATED 2years before her.and went for service year, somewhere far off.

Only to come back and meant her in another man's bossom, ,i cryied fowl,SHE EVENTUALLY GAVE ME HER WEDDING CARD.but life must move on , hence,I have moved on.It exactly 4 years after I am 30yrs this year.

Are advising me to go back to JAMB classes for teenagers without a boyfriend, or rather take the bull by the horn by competing favorably with other guys AND  probably settle for one.I felt i need to compete irrespective of existing relationship cos it is a natural course of life.

But what i don like is your first sentence (No good will come to people like you that's why you will have a hard time [b]finding the right woman for you.) i felt it insultive, any way thanks for your contribution, i realy want contributions.

Just take your time and pray if you are considering marriage
I believe in possibilities
Just sweep her off her feet
Show her love unspeakable
spoil her
You have the advantage of distance and hopefully if she is retained then a big plus
But i dont know how family friendly your bank is?

I think you put her in an awkward situation which is probably why she didn't answer definitively to you when you first asked her out. You're her boss, how do you want her to just be like "NO! I won't go out with you." Of course she's going out with you now because she doesn't want to be out of a job. I don't think it was right of you to put her in that situation. She would feel some pressure no matter what to go out with you because you're her supervisor and pretty much have her future in your hands. If she really wanted to be with you in a serious/permanent way, she'd have ended things with her boyfriend.

I don't want it to be like I'm saying everything is your fault and you're a bad person or anything, love/lust/sentiment/whatever is complicated. But at the same time, you have to recognize that this may not be the right girl or the right time for the two of you. Of course, I'm just saying this is how it looks from the outside. Only you and her know the truth of what's there (or not there) between you two. But just be careful you're not getting into the harrassment/cohersion realm.

music0286:

We started dating there after with the full knowledge that her guy existed,,,,the guy even call her in my presence. Now she will be passing out this February. One bad guy said I should make her Pregnant though I know it not a solution at all.

Things to think about:
1.) Why would you happily go out with a girl that is obviously with another guy and think YOUR relationship with her was permanent?
2.) What kind of friends do you have What kind of rotten advice is that?

Tatase hit the nail on the head. I know it's Nigeria and we have silly work place issues, but seriously, she's under your supervision (you did her appraisal), but you still dated her? Please! She's probably not really dating you, just wanted to be done with her service in the bank. Find your own woman, there are plenty out there. How long have you known her? You're in love with her? Many Nigerians just seem to "fall" in love randomly sha. My fall is in quotes because I don't really think anyone truly falls in love, it's a decision we make to love someone. Love is not magic, it's a decision.