elantraceey:
If only everyone could read and follow these, marriages will definitely be till death do us path .


The point i love most is forgiveness , when you can't forgive a person , you never truly loved that person .

bukatyne:


Interesting.

@bold: I believe he will have a blissful marriage if he does these and meets the right woman.

Timbuktou:


The right woman is relative, BK. Anybody can act whichever way they want if they find the right person. The point is the items on this list are total bull. This prescription requires the man to lose himself in the process of pleasing his woman. The internet is replete with women testimonies of men who have done better than this list and have been left in the lurch and vice versa.

babyosisi:


16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don't know i she will like what she finds... Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151735776813486&set=a.81166678485.79418.696628485&type=1

bukatyne:
Beautiful thread

1. I also do not agree with no 5. But again, saying yes/asking for yes should mean you like what you see

2. If he has learnt his lessons, why can't he start again with his wife after careful consideration (How would the wife know he has changed?)

3. Maybe this is the romantic in me talking afterall

bukatyne:



Ideally both parties should 'lose' themselves in the process of pleasing their mates. It becomes a problem if it becomes one sided. It would be very sweet if the wife also adopts the points. They are not gender specific and would go both ways. If you practically analyze loving marriages around (if you ever get to know the exact workings ), you will see a lot of these there.

I also agree with the bolded and it goes both ways... if a wife serves her head on a plate and the husband is bored, nothing can solve it. If a man places his entire life on the palms of his wifey and her heart is out of the marriage, the man is wasting his time.

That's where the right spouse comes in.

It is well.

Justfollowit:


My father is a woman wrapper!!!

No be him fault, na the witches and wizards wey dey him village.

Timbuktou:


1. Haven't we read on nairaland time and again about how you should accept people for who they are? Which, in a sense, is true. In fact, now that I think of it, this man in the OP may have attempted, in good conscience, to change/improve this woman and may have well been met with obstinence and resentment from his wife; a factor which could have contributed to the divorce. Never mind that he tried to improve himself in the process, as well, improvements that may have been necessitated by his beloved ex.

2. Because the woman has seen him finish and is bored and will not accept to have him back despite his best attempts at holding the fabric of the marriage together. She wants a shiny new, read mysterious, husband, new wedding etc. This marriage became boring, end of. This man can beat himself upside the head till the laws of physics no longer hold, truth is he's barking up the wrong tree.

3. Oh, definitely, we tend to find out that the reality of relationships differ greatly with our fantasies

Justfollowit:


LOL

I and my father are cursed. He doesn't know it yet that is why I am here. I am always there for him, darling

Timbuktou:


True, I agree. It would only work if both partners were committed to losing themselves to each other, not one of them feeling entitled to the perfect spouse, as this guy seems unlucky to have been saddled with.

The right spouse, in my opinion, is one who understands that their married to a human being and isn't too arrogant to own up to their own shortcomings.

Timbuktou:


I'm glad you haven't allowed family issues weigh you down.

Justfollowit, it's a tough world. You'll overcome eventually.

How's your day going by the way?

bukatyne:


1. There should be a degree of acceptance before marriage; only God changes a man/woman (if the person is even willing sef). Most times, the change is not positive. It is more of 'I married a deeper life woman and I want her to turn to beyonce'; 'I married a stingy/traditional man and I want him to start doing chores' bla bla. If a spouse sets to help the other improve in love, they will surely meet with positive feedbacks (exceptions acknowledged).

2. Hmmm! it is the husband that talked about re-marriage bros. Look at it, would you take back a wife you divorced due to infidelity? Can you prove she wouldn't do it again? Can a wife prove her abusive husband would not be anymore if they come back? Only God can say a person has truly changed.

3. Our relationships in truth go the way we both want them to go.

You have stylishly shifted the blame to the wifey. I am sure the man wrote this to acknowledge his faults after a critical look at himself. Not saying the wife was a saint either; sure she will have her own story to tell when she is ready.

bukatyne:

Sure you don't know the couple?
Agree with your post.

Justfollowit:


You clearly have. You should borrow a leaf from my book.

Yeah, the world out there is really tough. I am going to get there someday and when I do. I will not forget to eliminate small minded guys like yourself

Great! Yours?

Timbuktou:


Actually, I haven't. You seem to have poor perception skills.

By the time you get there, wherever there is, you'd have realised that my simpleness isn't small-mindedness. Meanwhile, it takes an acute level of small-mindedness to want to eliminate people with a different opinion from yours.

Kids, smh.

My day is splendid, actually.

Justfollowit:


Well, My perceptive skills has never been faulted. I can't say the same of yours.

Says a man who has been cursed with woman wahala. A man who would rather dispose all his resources on woman wahala than on other issues . Thanks, I will pass


Boy-man, SMH

Timbuktou:


Your second paragraph contradicts your first. Nuff said.

Man-boy sounds better.

Timbuktou:


Hehehe. Na my neighbours na.

Timbuktou:


1. Lol, yes, indeed.

2. Lol. We only have his own take na. He's done the mature thing by accepting his role in the failure of the relationship.

3. Yeah, I agree

Hehehe. Don't mind me, I tend to be unsympathetic to women who subscribe to frivorce.

Justfollowit:


Hmmm....Nice try, though it was a failed attempt

You know what your are. You know if not for us, you life would be as empty as a dead's man eyes and as purposeless as a wanderer.

Boy-man is a perfect descriptive tag for you.

elantraceey:
If only everyone could read and follow these, marriages will definitely be till death do us path .


The point i love most is forgiveness , [size=18pt]when you can't forgive a person , you never truly loved that person[/size] .

Timbuktou:


Nice poetry. I'm out, though. Have fun.

bukatyne:
Beautiful thread

I also do not agree with no 5. But again, saying yes/asking for yes should mean you like what you see

If he has learnt his lessons, why can't he start again with his wife after careful consideration (How would the wife know he has changed?)

Maybe this is the romantic in me talking afterall

babyosisi:


What if she has moved into the hands of another?
That's what I gleaned from the write up
He was doing Anya ura and and the wife moved on then he realized what he had