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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Poems For Review / The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. (7521 Views)
Poem And Rhyme Lovers Over Here / Welcome O Ramadhan! - A Poem And A Breif Commentary By Laykorn / The World Has Gone - A Poem And A Brief Commentary (2) (3) (4)
The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 6:19pm On May 15, 2015 |
Commentary: This poem paints, with the help of numerous poetic devices, the stages which the inner mind goes through before finally giving in to rebellion. In the 1st and 2nd stanzas, the poet presents a highlight on the movements of the inner mind, in relation to itself. In the 3rd stanza, the poet examines the relationship of the inner mind with the mind's keeper. In the 4th, 5th and 6th stanzas, the poet further goes on to probe the relationship of the inner mind with the physical world. Finally, in the 7th and 8th stanzas, the poets narrates the end of the ambitious, industrious inner mind. Enjoy....... The inner mind Twirls and twerks, Twitches, cuts the air, Whirls and swirls, Births sparks; vicious fears Renders it's dancing flair Bare, in a fiery fierce affair. The inner mind Sprints and spurts, Stops, feigns a flop. Scuttles and trots Lunacy; a display of sort, Of a woman scorned. Gait, as a lion's scoffed. The inner mind Sinfully rips through us, Labours anxious chaos, Courses, changes course, Conquers a heart's voice By a slam of toxic force, Builds a throne forth In a chest's fort The inner mind Dozes by daylight; Lives by the night. Slowly, slowly sights Our wrongs rights And our flaws might. Our blacks whites And rockets kites. The inner mind Learns to loudly speak Grows to wholly seek Answers to things Mortals learnt to leave In fits of their own sprees Living by their own sins, And digs through their skins So, the inner mind Seeks the one, Who made the laws. To South, to North Seeks by gory gore He, who made norms norms But, the inner mind, In the end Will not bend To the bends. The inner mind Will rebel. The inner mind Has rebelled. Rebellion, rebellion, rebellion. The inner mind's rebellion, Then will become His loyal, loyal stallion. Copyrights reserved ©2015 Email: soburadedokun@yahoo.com Cc: timpaker OMA4U standd joseph1832 diddydiva 22 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by timpaker(m): 6:37pm On May 15, 2015 |
Nice one bro. I love the 5th stanza........but can I ask a question? |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 6:52pm On May 15, 2015 |
timpaker: Yes, sir. |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 7:31pm On May 15, 2015 |
hmmmmmm. this is so true. nice one. but. what can stop the inner mind from rebellion. |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 8:57pm On May 15, 2015 |
diddydiva: Just imagine that we're made of sparks, or something like sparks. The inner mind does not only do those things I listed, but it also ignites this spark; this spark we're made of. Trying to stop the inner made from rebellion is akin to killing it; killing our own sparks - which could mean killing us. The inner mind is made to rebel; it can never be stopped. Twaci All The Way! 1 Like |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 9:28pm On May 15, 2015 |
laykorn:you are right. what baffles me tho is the struggle between obedience and rebellion. rebellion is from the inner mind ,that's taken. obedience is from where? if its also from the inner mind , is the inner mind two or its fighting itself. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by msmon(m): 11:32pm On May 15, 2015 |
Inner mind rebellion. Love the last stanza! **************************** Why Do Ladies Often Do This To Guys? ~ It's Really Appalling! www.nairaland.com/2315638/why-ladies-often-guys-really |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by drawdrawsoup: 11:32pm On May 15, 2015 |
Ok |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by exemen: 11:35pm On May 15, 2015 |
........ 1 Like 1 Share
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Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by misterchris(m): 11:35pm On May 15, 2015 |
Op don mad for him inner mind |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by seedorfg(m): 11:35pm On May 15, 2015 |
well written, as a poem fan, i gbadun am gan ni |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by misterchris(m): 11:35pm On May 15, 2015 |
Shoro niyen 1 Like |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by misterchris(m): 11:36pm On May 15, 2015 |
Twaci for miss nairaland |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by misterchris(m): 11:37pm On May 15, 2015 |
Plots for sale |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by misterchris(m): 11:38pm On May 15, 2015 |
Sharp sharp |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by misterchris(m): 11:39pm On May 15, 2015 |
Make una begin price nah |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by misterchris(m): 11:41pm On May 15, 2015 |
Nairaland server is overwhelmed |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by OKNkanu(m): 12:03am On May 16, 2015 |
Wonderful piece bro!.... Wonderful rhythm and good use of literal devices!!..... |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by PeeTeeJay(m): 12:19am On May 16, 2015 |
Nice one!! Very cool |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by REMMEI(m): 1:06am On May 16, 2015 |
Na poem.. all of them no go ever come book space for here.. awon alaraka! Nicely penned Egbon!.. I still dey learn from you sha. 1 Like |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 1:34am On May 16, 2015 |
Wow! This is beautiful! Masterpiece! Wish I can write like this. Thumbs up op. The inner mind is indeed rebellious,always at war with its keeper......... |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by missionmex(m): 2:24am On May 16, 2015 |
Love this piece. |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by uncjay(m): 3:17am On May 16, 2015 |
A wonderful piece there @Op thumb up.... |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Khaytunechi: 4:16am On May 16, 2015 |
Awww. Quite a piece. |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by joseph1832(m): 5:07am On May 16, 2015 |
A nice poem laykorn. But I believe you're yet to understand how the mind works. |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by MrKIZITO(m): 5:24am On May 16, 2015 |
Nice One |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by jejemanito: 5:29am On May 16, 2015 |
Nice |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 5:32am On May 16, 2015 |
Good one bro. My brother's poem makes the front page. Isn't it worth celebrating? Don't worry, Mummy and I will treat you to this when you're back. |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by letsbet(m): 5:59am On May 16, 2015 |
Nice poam about the wonder of the mind. voteTwaci! for president! |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 7:03am On May 16, 2015 |
OMG after this made FP,5 other topics had made FP after this topic,and I still see space for page(1) . Students are too lazy Nice one OP,I love stanza four Dozes in daylight... |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by Nobody: 7:11am On May 16, 2015 |
I believe the speaker of a poem is not always the writer, however, understanding the mind of a poet; the inner mind would require a lot of concentration and attentiveness. And nice piece BTW, it's enlightening. |
Re: The Inner Mind - A Short Poem And A Brief Commentary. by donifez(m): 7:32am On May 16, 2015 |
Nice piece laykorn,More ink to your pen. |
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