Ewuro4:
Societal Judgement ..... Until people change their judgemental ways toward Adoption. Many TTCing recipients will be stagnant and scared for life.

I perfectly remembered Mrs.Chima on TTCing thread advice them to look into adoption. You should read thousands of tonguelashing and accursed posts against this poster. I weak. This is exactly what is happening in real life.

See.....



Why do you hate them? Why do you want to know? What's your business with their family secrets?

Anyone can choose any style to bring a child into this world.. As long as they're legal. They can go to Cambodia & back with a mulato baby and tell it to Nigerians . Who cares?? The norm answer should be NOBODY but NO , we must poke nose into everyone's business.

This is a typical example of societal judgement these women are wary and scared of... Many women came on social media to seek validation & thank God for a 'miracle' and what did people do? condemn them and question their stories.

Same with divorce. But that's just another topic for another day.

Babe what i mean is that as far as im concerned there is absolutely nothing wrong with adoption. In a situation where everyone knows that you adopted the baby why pretend you gave birth to them. The kind of silly lies this woman was telling was irritating. And mind you these ones dont adopt legally. They go to baby farms. So are you saying that how they procure these babies does not matter? As far as im concerned if one wants to adopt go ahead and do that through the right channels. There is no need for all these kurukere business abeg.

babyosisi i did not even read your reply to ewuro4 before replying. You get my point exactly. One of the owners of these baby farms confessed that they go as far as giving the woman an episitomy (spelling) to deceive the husband that the woman gave birth to these babies! Anyway that is another topic altogether. I had to unfollow that ttc thread cos it was heartbreaking for me. I cried on so many occasions for the disappointments some of these women faced. Please God remember these women and give them their own.

Adoption is not easy in Nigeria,i said it once here n some1said i was lying.I tried helping a friend last year it was not easy,we kept seeing d "backyard runs own" n she refused saying she doesnt want some1 blackmailing her tommorrow.Nigeria is still far away,forget all this people saying they will if in their shoe.Yesterday there was a thread about GEJ's daughter n people were saying.i quote"u mean his adopted daughter",some other person was sayin he used to take those kids to school n back himself but they didnt stop.so unless it is made easy in Nigeria,this baby factories wont stop n people wnt stop blabbing nonsense. my nebor adopted a son n people dont stop talking,dis is something she did years ago. so thats y peole who do it go thru a lot trying to convince people the baby is biologically theirs.My childhood friends were thrown out imediatly their father died just because they were adopted n u wont belive their father was a magistrate,so its not easy for those ttcing in nija here,i pity them

njokusboy:
One of my uncles did not get a child until after 11 years or thereabouts, I didn't exactly know what the problem was... after 11 years, two boys came in quick succession... it's like the first one opened the womb...
This adoption thing, I find it a bit unsettling, I'd only consider it as a last resort.... I know one couple that adopted, fortunately for them and unfortunately for the child, they later had their own, that is how they started maltreating this child, you could always tell that this child was not theirs as soon as you entered the house.... It was so pathetic walahi....
I'd only think of adopting if am absolutely sure there is no other way, am not sure I'd even be able to resist the temptation of trying another woman to know if am at fault or nay... It's really hard for men to know they can actually get a woman pregnant but have to adopt because their wife cannot get pregnant... it's selfish but it's easier to understand if ur a man....

Tis true o,some adopt n wen they bear theirs they maltreat d adopted ones,so sad!

manoda:
Adoption should be the last resort after you have exhausted every meaningful way of getting pregnant.

I am very weary of adoption, because I don't know the biological background of the child am bringing in.questions like does madness run in their family,do the family suffer from a particular deseases,won't the child grow up tommorow and start giving us headache that he wants to know the original parents? (I have seen where it happened)

Also the way people reason and talk especially when they see you with your adopted child. I mean,someone has once told me, ordinary to born pikin you no fit,something that a child of 15yrs can do,you wey be adult no fit boast of one baby

And the way our government has made adoption so difficult, it took a friend almost 2years to get hers. my dear,the processes is too long and discouraging

In my own opinion, I will rather try IVF countless time than going for adoption.Though there is absolutely nothing wrong with adoption. I support anyone that wants to tow that line.

If you sit to think of all the what ifs in this life you won't even step outside your house
There are people who develop all sorts of diseases and illnesses
Even biological kids can go mad with no madness in the family
People have biological mentally retarded children or children with other challenges ,do you throw them away?

njokusboy:
One of my uncles did not get a child until after 11 years or thereabouts, I didn't exactly know what the problem was... after 11 years, two boys came in quick succession... it's like the first one opened the womb...
This adoption thing, I find it a bit unsettling, I'd only consider it as a last resort.... I know one couple that adopted, fortunately for them and unfortunately for the child, they later had their own, that is how they started maltreating this child, you could always tell that this child was not theirs as soon as you entered the house.... It was so pathetic walahi....
I'd only think of adopting if am absolutely sure there is no other way, am not sure I'd even be able to resist the temptation of trying another woman to know if am at fault or nay... It's really hard for men to know they can actually get a woman pregnant but have to adopt because their wife cannot get pregnant... it's selfish but it's easier to understand if ur a man....

I hope the children are his
Couples have been known to agree that the wife can step out to bring babies into the family when the man is the cause of the infertility
Many of those women who visited prayer houses got pregnant the good old fashioned way not by any miracles.

Babyosisi,Am typing this with almost tears in my eyes.My lovely elder sister has being married for about 5years.No kid.This was a lady that never had a boyfriend till she was ready for marriage.She got married to her first and only guy.She never had sex till she got married.Was a Born again to the core.Got married as a virgin.Her husband dotes on her so much both of them are not really bothered but my parents are..Most especially my dad..Just wondering how life is so so unfair..As for me,I think I would go and check my sperm count level before I get married.I think I need to do that asap sef so if to say i get low sperm count or something I go start treatment asap..I don't pray to have issues with conceiving at all..Have never had unprotected sex so I don't know if I fit give woman belle or not..

alobam1:
Babyosisi,Am typing this with almost tears in my eyes.My lovely elder sister has being married for about 5years.No kid.This was a lady that never had a boyfriend till she was ready for marriage.She got married to her first and only guy.She never had sex till she got married.Was a Born again to the core.Got married as a virgin.Her husband dotes on her so much both of them are not really bothered but my parents are..Most especially my dad..Just wondering how life is so so unfair..As for me,I think I would go and check my sperm count level before I get married.I think I need to do that asap sef so if to say i get low sperm count or something I go start treatment asap..I don't pray to have issues with conceiving at all..Have never had unprotected sex so I don't know if I fit give woman belle or not..

Your sis and her hubby should go and get checked out
They can't find a solution till they know the problem and where it's coming from
If they are not worried please don't make them worry

babyosisi:


Your sis and her hubby should go and get checked out
They can't find a solution till they know the problem and where it's coming from

Yes they have started seeking medical help.The last time she came to Ibadan,Mum told her to go to a Doctor for checkup which she did.Am not privacy to what came out of it though.But I can only hope something good comes out asap..I cant wait to see her kids jare..I really cant wait

I af a sister that is 10yrs in her marriage without a child,tho she concieved 6 times,had miscarriage 5 times,6th one died after naming ceremony,she has eventually lost hope n has resorted to prayer house where they af been milking her of her hardearned money,her husband is d quiet type bt men r not to be trusted. abortion is out of it for her coz she did it in her 6th yr of marriage n d boy grew up n left them.so they dnt want to go tru dat trauma again,wat advice can i gv her? d situation is really bad.

misspicy:
I af a sister that is 10yrs in her marriage without a child,tho she concieved 6 times,had miscarriage 5 times,6th one died after naming ceremony,she has eventually lost hope n has resorted to prayer house where they af been milking her of her hardearned money,her husband is d quiet type bt men r not to be trusted. abortion is out of it for her coz she did it in her 6th yr of marriage n d boy grew up n left them.so they dnt want to go tru dat trauma again,wat advice can i gv her? d situation is really bad.

Do you mean adoption?
I pray God answers her prayers and put a smile on her face.
How/why did the boy leave?

LewsTherin:
My dad's youngest brother was a crazy maniac. Then he caught an epiphany of sorts and settled down. Married his high school sweetheart (who by the way was still single and about giving up), then found themselves unable to have children. Today, they have 4 kids. All adopted. They have the best family on my father's side. Even with all the financial difficulties of living in the South-South on a priest's salary.

I admire their family.

Most people see adoption as a crime right up there with murder and blasphemy against God. I don't get it. I never have. I'm considering adoption, not because I don't have kids, but because I can't stand to see my Lady go through all that again.

I'm one of those you mentioned below. I won't adopt a child because of infertility. News about baby factories have messed up my mind about adoption. It's really messed up in Nigeria. I would definitely help in kids development either by paying school fees, sponsorships or supporting them while they are with their biological parents. I would never adopt a child as my own. I'm blessed to be fertile but even if I wasn't. I would accept my fate than introduce a blood line that hasn't got my DNA into my family.

If my wife can't conceive, I would try outside. If I can't, then my brother takes over my properties.

gbosaa:



I'm one of those you mentioned below. I won't adopt a child because of infertility. News about baby factories have messed up my mind about adoption. It's really messed up in Nigeria. I would definitely help in kids development either by paying school fees, sponsorships or supporting them while they are with their biological parents. I would never adopt a child as my own. I'm blessed to be fertile but even if I wasn't. I would accept my fate than introduce a blood line that hasn't got my DNA into my family.

If my wife can't conceive, I would try outside. If I can't, then my brother takes over my properties.

i guess your wife can 'try outside' too if you arent able to get her pregnant. How about that? lol.

@ Your last sentence. Oh well. Some wives do have them.

Sensitive, sensitive topic.

In Naija for example, it's expected that if the fault is with the woman, the man should "try his luck" outside to see if he can have his own biological kids. Doesn't mean he loves his wife any less, infact the opposite might be true. Not saying it's right, but I do understand, painful as it is.

Now what if the roles were reversed? Would your average / enlightened Nigerian wife want to do the same? For her, it'll be that tug of war between: does she love this man enough to watch her reproductive years fizzle away, never to be reclaimed...versus the deep heart wrenching need to carry her very own biological baby for nine months, birth it, and nurse him/her. Doesn't mean she loves her husband any less...

I honestly, honestly feel for both parties. Babyosisi, you are right. For those of us that just had them boom, boom, boom, we might never truly understand.

#sigh#.

I can adopt if both of us have the problem (infertility). If it's my husband's problem and we have tried for years, i'm afraid i may leave him and try my luck elsewhere. If it's mine then he's free too and when he leaves me i will go and adopt. I doubt if i will be happy adopting when i know i can have mine. Though easier said than done but me I no fit for mental and emotional torture.

This topic is too sensitive. I m in God's waiting room and i know how tough it can be. My love for kids is mutual and i believe i will have mine soon. It has always been my dream to adopt my last child(a little girl with brown eyes lol). I have a sister who has been waiting for 8yrs+ now and i always find my tongue tied any time i want to bring up this adoption talks with her because i don't know her disposition towards it. TTC is tough. May God see us through.

Amhappy:
This topic is too sensitive. I m in God's waiting room and i know how tough it can be. My love for kids is mutual and i believe i will have mine soon. It has always been my dream to adopt my last child(a little girl with brown eyes lol). I have a sister who has been waiting for 8yrs+ now and i always find my tongue tied any time i want to bring up this adoption talks with her because i don't know her disposition towards it. TTC is tough. May God see us through.

Amen.

I think its a personal thing but give it another decade and people will come around and accept that it is here to stay. There is a lot of adoption going on in Nigeria right now, I come from a family where a branch had to adopt all the male kids. just to continue the family name. And am talking about doctors and lawyers who know about IVF.

If I get to 32 years and am not married, am gonna go adopt me a baby or babies as the spirit wills me then.
Then lemme see who will come from mbieri and tell me story

Amhappy:
This topic is too sensitive. I m in God's waiting room and i know how tough it can be. My love for kids is mutual and i believe i will have mine soon. It has always been my dream to adopt my last child(a little girl with brown eyes lol). I have a sister who has been waiting for 8yrs+ now and i always find my tongue tied any time i want to bring up this adoption talks with her because i don't know her disposition towards it. TTC is tough. May God see us through.

Hmmmm a very sensitive topic indeed. Adoption and the likes is easier said than done. Until you walk in same shoes you'll never know what it feels like

I pray for your breakthrough dear. God indeed will bless the fruit of your womb. All my TTC friends and family shall all be fruitful in due time

estheremma:
Adoption is not easy in Nigeria,i said it once here n some1said i was lying.I tried helping a friend last year it was not easy,we kept seeing d "backyard runs own" n she refused saying she doesnt want some1 blackmailing her tommorrow.Nigeria is still far away,forget all this people saying they will if in their shoe.Yesterday there was a thread about GEJ's daughter n people were saying.i quote"u mean his adopted daughter",some other person was sayin he used to take those kids to school n back himself but they didnt stop.so unless it is made easy in Nigeria,this baby factories wont stop n people wnt stop blabbing nonsense. my nebor adopted a son n people dont stop talking,dis is something she did years ago. so thats y peole who do it go thru a lot trying to convince people the baby is biologically theirs.My childhood friends were thrown out imediatly their father died just because they were adopted n u wont belive their father was a magistrate,so its not easy for those ttcing in nija here,i pity them

Is your friend still trying? Heard of Morgan Hill Children Foundation? Want to contact me?

gbosaa:



I'm one of those you mentioned below. I won't adopt a child because of infertility. News about baby factories have messed up my mind about adoption. It's really messed up in Nigeria. I would definitely help in kids development either by paying school fees, sponsorships or supporting them while they are with their biological parents. I would never adopt a child as my own. I'm blessed to be fertile but even if I wasn't. I would accept my fate than introduce a blood line that hasn't got my DNA into my family.

If my wife can't conceive, I would try outside. If I can't, then my brother takes over my properties.

So happy you are interested in Kids' development, are you interested in charitable efforts to kids without biological parents? please contact me. Sponsorships and foundation growth are being sourced for children without these biological parents you mentioned.

CMVP:




Is your friend still trying? Heard of Morgan Hill Children Foundation? Want to contact me?

yea.

estheremma:
yea.

Okay, how about you contact me on greg @ morganhillchildrenfoundation.com. or larudeez @ yahoo.com

Could send me a detailed e-mail on how it works.

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