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Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian - Islam for Muslims (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by Empiree: 10:17pm On May 25, 2015
Ifeann:


And you are yet to address the points raised by the op which exposes as an ignorant fraud who gave bad advise.
Your exit....which way?

1 Like

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by truthman2012(m): 10:28pm On May 25, 2015
.
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by NumberOne2(m): 11:14pm On May 25, 2015
smallrincowis16:
1


who will solve the riddle?
Tempts?
"And it came to pass after these things, that God
did tempt Abraham." (GEN 22:1)
Let no man say when he is tempted, I am
tempted of God; for God cannot be tempted with
evil, neither tempteth he any man." (JAS 1:13)
* Does God tempt people? If yes,
*explain James 1:13...
And if no
*explain Genesis 22:1

Here is your answer:
Meaning of Tempt from Google: entice or attempt to entice (someone) to do or acquire something that they find attractive but know to be wrong or not beneficial.

Thank God for technology, KJV doesnt do justice to most bible passages. I will show you those scriptures from the Amplified Bible (AMP).

Let no one say when he is tempted, I am tempted from God; for God is incapable of being tempted by [what is] evil and He Himself tempts no one. - James 1:13 (AMP)

After these events, God tested and proved Abraham and said to him, Abraham! And he said, Here I am. - Genesis 22:1 (AMP)

See any difference or do you still need further explanation?
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by smallrincowis16(m): 8:01am On May 26, 2015
NumberOne2:


Here is your answer:
Meaning of Tempt from Google: entice or attempt to entice (someone) to do or acquire something that they find attractive but know to be wrong or not beneficial.

Thank God for technology, KJV doesnt do justice to most bible passages. I will show you those scriptures from the Amplified Bible (AMP).

Let no one say when he is tempted, I am tempted from God; for God is incapable of being tempted by [what is] evil and He Himself tempts no one. - James 1:13 (AMP)

After these events, God tested and proved Abraham and said to him, Abraham! And he said, Here I am. - Genesis 22:1 (AMP)

See any difference or do you still need further explanation?



god's words with so much differences!!!!
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by smallrincowis16(m): 8:08am On May 26, 2015
truthman2012:


Answer these questions straight without rigmaroling:

Muslims say islamic satan is a jinn, do jinns have physical bodies as they are made of fire?

Are jinns visible and tangible? Your quran says they are not, how would Muhammad tie a jinn (satan) for people to see:
Quran 7:27 "Indeed he
(Iblis) and his tribe watch
you from a position where
you cannot see them"

Does water still remain pure after dirts are thrown into it stinking?


lolssss.
but it's only invisible to human eye... that doesn't mean they don't have body as we have.

as there are ANGELS which are invisible,,,,,, that didn't connotes they don't have body.
even in Islamic believe. JINN and IBLEES will surely be judge and rewarded..
will they be punish in there spirit form?
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by truthman2012(m): 8:22am On May 26, 2015
smallrincowis16:



lolssss.
but it's only invisible to human eye... that doesn't mean they don't have body as we have.

as there are ANGELS which are invisible,,,,,, that didn't connotes they don't have body.
even in Islamic believe. JINN and IBLEES will surely be judge and rewarded..
will they be punish in there spirit form?

You are just contradicting yourself. Since you said satan is invisible, how did muhammad see him and want to tie him for people to see? This is the reason for the thread.
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by NumberOne2(m): 11:06am On May 26, 2015
smallrincowis16:


god's words with so much differences!!!!

No, not God's words but man's interpretation of God's word. English itself doesn't help with tenses but he who seeks the TRUTH will always find it and so so for he who seeks CONFUSION. Do you research, get ORIGINAL texts if possible. The truth is out there.

Imams lie, so do Pastors. They are humans. Seek the truth for yourself. You can read and write cant you. Why must you wait for someone to explain crap to you?
Remember primary school english with Past tense, present tense, future tense, past participle bla bla bla. smiley
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by truthman2012(m): 1:56pm On May 26, 2015
Empiree:
Your exit....which way?

Answer these questions straight
without rigmaroling:


Muslims say islamic satan is a
jinn, do jinns have physical
bodies as they are made of fire?


Are jinns visible and tangible?
Your quran says they are not,
how would Muhammad tie a jinn
(satan) for people to see:
Quran 7:27 "Indeed he
(Iblis) and his tribe watch
you from a position where
you cannot see them"


Does water still remain pure
after dirts are thrown into it
stinking?
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by smallrincowis16(m): 3:14pm On May 26, 2015
truthman2012:


You are just contradicting yourself. Since you said satan is invisible, how did muhammad see him and want to tie him for people to see? This is the reason for the thread.

simply answer... because he has body.

that's why he (salla llahu alyhi wasalam). can see angels too. hope it's cleared enough
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by truthman2012(m): 3:50pm On May 26, 2015
smallrincowis16:


simply answer... because he has body.

that's why he (salla llahu alyhi wasalam). can see angels too. hope it's cleared enough

Please leave the stage, you don't know what you are saying.

You once said satan is invisible to human eyes and now you are saying muhammad could see him. Quran says muslims could not see jinns:

Quran 7:27 "Indeed he
(Iblis) and his tribe watch
you from a position where
you cannot see them"

I will not respond to you again if you continue to say unreasonable things.
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by feedthenation(m): 3:55pm On May 26, 2015
truthman2012:


Answer these questions straight
without rigmaroling:


Muslims say islamic satan is a
jinn, do jinns have physical
bodies as they are made of fire?


Are jinns visible and tangible?
Your quran says they are not,
how would Muhammad tie a jinn
(satan) for people to see:
Quran 7:27 "Indeed he
(Iblis) and his tribe watch
you from a position where
you cannot see them"


Does water still remain pure
after dirts are thrown into it
stinking?

Pre-Islamic period - the Pagan Arabs, that constitutes majority of the population in Arabia lived a very primitive and simple astral and animistic religion of at least 360 gods & goddesess. Among these gods & goddesses, Allah was one of the chief god. Aside from Allah, other animistic objects are worshipped, namely trees, caves, wells etc.

Besides the Kaaba ofMecca, there are other holy sites in pre-islamic Arabic period are located in Petra (modern day Jordan), Sana'a (presently located in Yemen) and Najran (Saudi Arabia). The sun was worshipped but not to the same level as the moon. The moon worship is closely associated with a nomadic & pastoral society. Most importantly, the sun is seen as an enemy of the nomads because of the scorching heat of the Arabian desert depriving them of pasture, shade & water. However the moon is their friend providing them with light, coolness in the night, dew and shade, thus making the moon a 'diety' of great importance to them. One of the reasons why Muslims around the world look to the location of the moon pre & after ramadan.

To the question about jinns, pre-islamic Arabs believed that the desert was full of living creatures/spirits called 'jinn'. These living creatures / spirits are viewed that their main purpose was to blight the lives of the desert people with mischief and difficulties - hence reason why in the Quran - jinns are mentioned by Mohammed.

For further info: http://www.inthenameofallah.org/preislamicarabia.html

1 Like

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by basilico: 4:51pm On May 26, 2015
Another hilarious hadeeth.



Sahih Bukhari Volume 2, Book 21, Number
245:
Narrated ?Abdullah :
A person was mentioned before the Prophet
(p.b.u.h.) and he was told that he had kept on
sleeping till morning and had not got up for
the prayer. The Prophet said, ?Satan urinated
in his ears.?


Satan urinates in somebody's ears.




Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 54, Number
516:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, ?If anyone of you rouses
from sleep and performs the ablution, he
should wash his nose by putting water in it
and then blowing it out thrice, because Satan
has stayed in the upper part of his nose all
the night.?



Another hilarious one



Sahih Bukhari Volume 1, Book 5, Number 277:
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, ?The (people of) Bani Israel
used to take bath naked (all together) looking
at each other. The Prophet Moses used to
take a bath alone . They said, ?By Allah!
Nothing prevents Moses from taking a bath
with us except that he has a scrotal hernia .?
So once Moses went out to take a bath and
put his clothes over a stone and then that
stone ran away with his clothes. Moses
followed that stone saying, ?My clothes, O
stone! My clothes, O stone! till the people of
Bani Israel saw him and said, ?By Allah,
Moses has got no defect in his body. Moses
took his clothes and began to beat the
stone.? Abu Huraira added, ?By Allah! There
are still six or seven marks present on the
stone from that excessive beating.?

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by smallrincowis16(m): 5:14pm On May 26, 2015
truthman2012:


Please leave the stage, you don't know what you are saying.

You once said satan is invisible to human eyes and now you are saying muhammad could see him. Quran says muslims could not see jinns:

Quran 7:27 "Indeed he
(Iblis) and his tribe watch
you from a position where
you cannot see them"

I will not respond to you again if you continue to say unreasonable things.



lolssss. it shows how deluded you're.
what I meant is an ordinary person like you and I.. all the prophets can see both the JINN and ANGELS in their form
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by smallrincowis16(m): 5:18pm On May 26, 2015
feedthenation:


Pre-Islamic period - the Pagan Arabs, that constitutes majority of the population in Arabia lived a very primitive and simple astral and animistic religion of at least 360 gods & goddesess. Among these gods & goddesses, Allah was one of the chief god. Aside from Allah, other animistic objects are worshipped, namely trees, caves, wells etc.

Besides the Kaaba ofMecca, there are other holy sites in pre-islamic Arabic period are located in Petra (modern day Jordan), Sana'a (presently located in Yemen) and Najran (Saudi Arabia). The sun was worshipped but not to the same level as the moon. The moon worship is closely associated with a nomadic & pastoral society. Most importantly, the sun is seen as an enemy of the nomads because of the scorching heat of the Arabian desert depriving them of pasture, shade & water. However the moon is their friend providing them with light, coolness in the night, dew and shade, thus making the moon a 'diety' of great importance to them. One of the reasons why Muslims around the world look to the location of the moon pre & after ramadan.

To the question about jinns, pre-islamic Arabs believed that the desert was full of living creatures/spirits called 'jinn'. These living creatures / spirits are viewed that their main purpose was to blight the lives of the desert people with mischief and difficulties - hence reason why in the Quran - jinns are mentioned by Mohammed.

For further info: http://www.inthenameofallah.org/preislamicarabia.html





laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
for your information Allah has been the only Lord of Arab before that time... it's only change when they have contact with Persians
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by smallrincowis16(m): 5:19pm On May 26, 2015
NumberOne2:


No, not God's words but man's interpretation of God's word. English itself doesn't help with tenses but he who seeks the TRUTH will always find it and so so for he who seeks CONFUSION. Do you research, get ORIGINAL texts if possible. The truth is out there.

Imams lie, so do Pastors. They are humans. Seek the truth for yourself. You can read and write cant you. Why must you wait for someone to explain crap to you?
Remember primary school english with Past tense, present tense, future tense, past participle bla bla bla. smiley


man's interpretation be this::
explain this


Open 1st Samuel13 verse 1*** Saul was------
years old when he began to reign; and he
reigned----and two years over Israel.
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by truthman2012(m): 5:20pm On May 26, 2015
basilico:
Another hilarious hadeeth.




Satan urinates in somebody's ears.





Another hilarious one


Muhammad was hallucinating. What a prophet.

He was once charmed and was hallucinating sleeping with his wife when he really was not.

Narrated Aisha:
Magic was worked on
Allah's Apostle so that he
used to think that he had
sexual relations with his
wives while he actually
had not (Sufyan said: That
is the hardest kind of
magic as it has such an
effect). Then one day he
said, "O ‘Aisha do you know
that Allah has instructed
me concerning the matter I
asked Him about? Two men
came to me and one of
them sat near my head and
the other sat near my feet.
The one near my head
asked the other, ‘What is
wrong with this man?’ The
latter replied he is under
the effect of magic. The
first one asked, ‘Who has
worked magic on him?’ The
other replied, ‘Labid bin Al-
A’sam, a man from Bani
Zuraiq who was an ally of
the Jews and was a
hypocrite.’ The first one
asked, ‘What material did
he use?’ The other replied,
‘A comb and the hair stuck
to it.’ The first one asked,
‘Where (is that)?’ The other
replied, ‘In a skin of pollen
of a male date palm tree
kept under a stone in the
well of Dharwan.’" So the
Prophet went to that well
and took out those things
and said, "That was the
well which was shown to
me (in a dream). Its water
looked like the infusion of
Henna leaves and its date-
palm trees looked like the
heads of devils." The
Prophet added, "Then that
thing was taken out." I said
(to the Prophet) "Why do
you not treat yourself with
Nashra?" He said, "Allah
has cured me; I dislike to
let evil spread among my
people." ( Sahih al-Bukhari ,
Volume 7, Book 71,
Number 660 )
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by true2god: 6:47pm On May 26, 2015
truthman2012:


Muhammad was hallucinating. What a prophet.

He was once charmed and was hallucinating sleeping with his wife when he really was not.

Narrated Aisha:
Magic was worked on
Allah's Apostle so that he
used to think that he had
sexual relations with his
wives while he actually
had not (Sufyan said: That
is the hardest kind of
magic as it has such an
effect). Then one day he
said, "O ‘Aisha do you know
that Allah has instructed
me concerning the matter I
asked Him about? Two men
came to me and one of
them sat near my head and
the other sat near my feet.
The one near my head
asked the other, ‘What is
wrong with this man?’ The
latter replied he is under
the effect of magic. The
first one asked, ‘Who has
worked magic on him?’ The
other replied, ‘Labid bin Al-
A’sam, a man from Bani
Zuraiq who was an ally of
the Jews and was a
hypocrite.’ The first one
asked, ‘What material did
he use?’ The other replied,
‘A comb and the hair stuck
to it.’ The first one asked,
‘Where (is that)?’ The other
replied, ‘In a skin of pollen
of a male date palm tree
kept under a stone in the
well of Dharwan.’" So the
Prophet went to that well
and took out those things
and said, "That was the
well which was shown to
me (in a dream). Its water
looked like the infusion of
Henna leaves and its date-
palm trees looked like the
heads of devils." The
Prophet added, "Then that
thing was taken out." I said
(to the Prophet) "Why do
you not treat yourself with
Nashra?" He said, "Allah
has cured me; I dislike to
let evil spread among my
people." ( Sahih al-Bukhari ,
Volume 7, Book 71,
Number 660 )
Mohammed is an abnormal person leading normal people. One hadith even talked about allahh's apostle stoning a monkey caught in adultery. I will google the hadith.

Islam is a cosmic joke.

1 Like

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by truthman2012(m): 9:17pm On May 26, 2015
true2god:
Mohammed is an abnormal person leading normal people. One hadith even talked about allahh's apostle stoning a monkey caught in adultery. I will google the hadith.

Islam is a cosmic joke.

More than funny! Na wa for Moh o!

How did he know the legal wife or husband of the monkey? Do monkeys get married to a parmanent wife?

1 Like

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by mustymatic(m): 10:18pm On May 26, 2015
truthman2012:

Answer these questions straight without rigmaroling:

Muslims say islamic satan is a jinn, do jinns have physical bodies as they are made of fire?

Are jinns visible and tangible? Your quran says they are not, how would Muhammad tie a jinn (satan) for people to see: Quran 7:27 "Indeed he (Iblis) and his tribe watch you from a position where you cannot see them"

Does water still remain pure after dirts are thrown into it stinking?
Prophets hav d ability to c jinns n angels, Jesus too
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by truthman2012(m): 10:34pm On May 26, 2015
mustymatic:
Prophets hav d ability to c jinns n angels, Jesus too
Are prophets not humans? Yet your quran says jinns are invisible to humans.
You muslims guys have nothing to refute.
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by truthman2012(m): 9:16am On May 27, 2015
@true2god

Islam is a funny religion, full of fables and hallucinations.

This is the hadith:

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 5, Book 58, Number 188:

Narrated ‘Amru
bin Maimun:
"During the pre-
lslamic period
of ignorance I
saw a she-monkey
surrounded by a
number of
monkeys. They
were all stoning
it, because it
had committed
illegal sexual
intercourse. I
too, stoned it
along with
them."

Are monkeys subject to human laws?

What about the he-monkey that committed the adultery?

Didn't Muhammad see he-goats and she-goats, he-dogs and she-dogs committing frequent adultery around him?

What about fouls?

I tell you the truth, Muhammad and muslims are not normal.
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by jcross19: 12:36pm On May 27, 2015
truthman2012:
@true2god

Islam is a funny religion, full of fables and hallucinations.

This is the hadith:

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 5, Book 58, Number 188:

Narrated ‘Amru
bin Maimun:
"During the pre-
lslamic period
of ignorance I
saw a she-monkey
surrounded by a
number of
monkeys. They
were all stoning
it, because it
had committed
illegal sexual
intercourse. I
too, stoned it
along with
them."

Are monkeys subject to human laws?

What about the he-monkey that committed the adultery?

Didn't Muhammad see he-goats and she-goats, he-dogs and she-dogs committing frequent adultery around him?

What about fouls?

I tell you the truth, Muhammad and muslims are not normal.




mohammad was a mad man that monkey was referring to black race . Islam is a religion of superstitions,hallucinations,terrorism and charm.

2 Likes

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by trapQ: 6:34pm On May 27, 2015
Stupid fool.... This just further proves that Islam is a religion of violence. You can't have a decent convo with someone without bringing up fights. Smh
jessewagz:




if u can fart and spit on your father and mother, who will be left out.
if I ve an opportunity to come 1 on 1 with u,u will not leave to see d next minute.

wasted sperm

1 Like

Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by mustymatic(m): 11:17pm On May 27, 2015
truthman2012:

Are prophets not humans? Yet your quran says jinns are invisible to humans.
You muslims guys have nothing to refute.
Lemme see where.. Jesus was a prophet too
Re: Laughable Hadiths: When Muhammad Became A Comedian by truthman2012(m): 6:29pm On Sep 28, 2015
.

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